Are there moments where its inappropriate to pray?

[thequestionistgirl]

I pray regularly. I find myself constantly talking with the Lord, praying to the Lord all the day long. My issue is that at times I'm on the phone with my mother & I'm venting, just getting something off my chest and or talking about a challenge I'm facing. In these moments I just want to be heard. However, my mother will just start praying and she loves to end prayer with "now it's done, nothing to worry about." I know the power of prayer & I know what she means by saying that. However, I've explained to her that I would prefer if she asked me first, "would you like to pray about it," rather than just bursting into prayer. I believe she disregards my request because she would like to solve my problem or issue, even though it's not what I am asking of her, and she sees prayer as the resolve. When I'm explaining what's on my heart or mind at the time, I sometimes feel angry or feed up or even an emotion that I am unaware of, but I know that in these times I personally don't feel it appropriate for me to pray. When she starts I feel handicapped and angry with her, all the while she's praying. I think to myself, "wait, I didn't want to go there, I was in the middle of a sentence!" It's just very uncomfortable and it feels so dismissive. Afterwards I question myself, am I being "un - Christian" in some way. Am I wrong in feeling this way? So I guess my question is two-fold: are there times when it might be inappropriate to pray to the Lord such as when a person is feeling angry; is it wrong that there are times I do not feel the need or desire to pray including feeling forced into it?

Thank you for your help.

 

[John777111]

I think Jesus well expounded on 'whether there are bad moments to pray', and that was to hide your prayer, in general.

You can pray in secret at any time, however. So, no, there is never a bad time to pray, if you do so in secret.

 

[Bumble Bee]

There is never a bad time to pray. However, there are inappropriate times for different manners of prayer. For instance, it is inappropriate to pray aloud during a business meeting but not when you are in a prayer meeting. I would say that it is fully appropriate to pray when you are having a conversation with someone, but if you are going to pray you should do so silently so as not to neglect listening to the other person. There could be more that they need to say.

 

[Goodbook]

hmm..I've never heard of that.
Do you talk to your mum often? That seems unusual, especially when she doesn't listen to you or let you complete your sentence before launching into prayer. Is she like this with everyone or just you? Do you often complain to your mum?

If it were me, I'd learn to vent, if I needed, to someone else. I'm sure you pray about your own issues in secret as well.

The way you described her reminds me of the way Franky Shaeffer describes his mum in his books.

 

[Goodbook]

But its good that your mum prays for you! My mum never does that. She doesn't pray at all.

 

[Architeuthus]

I don't think there are inappropriate times to pray, but there are inappropriate ways to pray. Forcing people into prayer in particular is sometimes just a way of manipulating the conversation.

In a case like this, I think that asking "would you like to pray about it" first would be better. Perhaps you can suggest to your mother somehow that you do not want to pray about things until after you've finished talking about them?

As to praying when angry; it's ok to pray when you're angry, but one generally has to start with "Lord, please help me to feel less angry."

 

[Hospes]

I pray regularly. I find myself constantly talking with the Lord, praying to the Lord all the day long. My issue is that at times I'm on the phone with my mother & I'm venting, just getting something off my chest and or talking about a challenge I'm facing. In these moments I just want to be heard. However, my mother will just start praying and she loves to end prayer with "now it's done, nothing to worry about." I know the power of prayer & I know what she means by saying that. However, I've explained to her that I would prefer if she asked me first, "would you like to pray about it," rather than just bursting into prayer. I believe she disregards my request because she would like to solve my problem or issue, even though it's not what I am asking of her, and she sees prayer as the resolve. When I'm explaining what's on my heart or mind at the time, I sometimes feel angry or feed up or even an emotion that I am unaware of, but I know that in these times I personally don't feel it appropriate for me to pray. When she starts I feel handicapped and angry with her, all the while she's praying. I think to myself, "wait, I didn't want to go there, I was in the middle of a sentence!" It's just very uncomfortable and it feels so dismissive. Afterwards I question myself, am I being "un - Christian" in some way. Am I wrong in feeling this way? So I guess my question is two-fold: are there times when it might be inappropriate to pray to the Lord such as when a person is feeling angry; is it wrong that there are times I do not feel the need or desire to pray including feeling forced into it?

Thank you for your help.

Your mother probably has good intentions, but I can fully understand how her interrupting with prayer would leave you feeling as you describe. You need not think you are wrong for thinking her prayer is inappropriate, though its best to not assign any motives to her behavior. Have you asked her why she does it; what is her goal in shushing you via prayer? (If you do ask her, ask her at a time other than when she has just done it and be sure to be ready to really listen and desire to understand her.)

 

[BFine]

It could be your mom isn't up for handling much "venting"...
that can be something that can cause her to stress out
and praying suddenly like that is her way of blocking out
further unpleasant conversation.

As my mom has gotten older, I've found she's like that
also... it finally "dawned" on me that her "resolve" isn't
as strong as it was several years ago...I've learned to share
stuff with my mom in bits and pieces, she handles that better
and isn't likely to end the conversation with a suddenly(hang up
the phone) or make up an excuse to get off the phone.
My FIL and step-MIL are the same way...they can't handle
much stress or "vents" either...so we stick with small talk and
only let them know important matters.

 

[LoricaLady]

On the one hand we are told to "Pray without ceasing." There is one exception that I can think of in the Bible. In regard to some very wicked people the instruction was given to not even pray for them. If you are angry, you can pray to be helped to pray and not be angry.

As for your mother, tell her what you are telling us. Tell her that her attempts to help by bursting into prayer mid sentence are not helping, but are distracting and make you feel you are being treated dismissively. Of course say it gently and lovingly. She may need repeated reminders for awhile as habits can be hard to break. You could even say, "Mom, I love you, but the next time you burst into prayer when I am in the middle of a sentence, I am going to walk away so I can feel that I have my own space. I need to feel that my thoughts and my words are respected. If you don't understand, I'm sorry. But we are all different and that's what works for me."

Praying for all to work out well with you.

 

[DiscipleHeLovesToo]

first, let me define what i understand the term 'venting' means. let's say you have a friend that does you wrong in some way, and it really bugs you, so you want to tell someone about what they've done to you and how badly that makes you fell and how wrong they are; that would be 'venting'; lending your mouth to your flesh, instead of the ever-selfless ever-loving ever-forgiving God who loves and forgives both you and your friend. the problem with this 'venting' is that it is completely self-focused; it ignores what the other person might be going through or how you might minister to them. venting, more often that not i would say, is agreeing with the devil; it's wanting justice; it's justifying self; it's ignoring what God has forgiven you for so that you can judge someone else by a standard of perfection that no one but Jesus could meet while in a flesh body. contrary to popular belief, venting doesn't let anything out; it lets ungodliness in; because as your ears hear the self-centered things your mouth is saying, your unbelief is increased and your faith is further hindered in that area, as faith works by selfless love.

so maybe your Mother is trying to stop you from driving yourself deeper into the hurt and frustration that you unknowingly are driving yourself further into when you 'vent'

 

[TheDag]

In the situation you describe then I suggest you find someone else you trust who you can vent to. I understand that venting can be good. Often I find when I vent it is exactly what I need to move on.

While I do not think there are inappropriate times to pray I agree with others who have said there are inappropriate ways. I would also include in that when someone needs something physical and one just prays and leaves them despite being capable of physically helping them with their problem right then.

 

[ValleyGal]

It's just very uncomfortable and it feels so dismissive. Afterwards I question myself, am I being "un - Christian" in some way. Am I wrong in feeling this way? So I guess my question is two-fold: are there times when it might be inappropriate to pray to the Lord such as when a person is feeling angry; is it wrong that there are times I do not feel the need or desire to pray including feeling forced into it?

No, you are not wrong for feeling this way. She is, in fact, dismissive in more ways than one. I would like to clarify this, though. She is acting in a way that suggests she is feeling helpless to fix things for you, so she immediately turns to the One who she knows can fix it for you, and she is likely rather uncomfortable with emotions - both yours that you are expressing when you talk with her, as well as her own emotional response to you. Imo, she is likely doing the only thing she knows she can do, and she has her own "stuff" going on that makes listening uncomfortable. If you like, you might want to talk with her about it some day, and find out why she seems so uncomfortable just letting you chat and work your stuff out with her.

You can also let her know that while you appreciate her prayers, you would appreciate if she would ask first, or pray silently while she listens to you instead. She might have no idea how you feel dismissed, and if she did, she might take steps to correct it. After all, connection with God in prayer is good, but connecting with one another through personal sharing is also good. And no, just because a matter has been prayed about, does not mean it's "done" and you can stop worrying about it. Some things take time to process emotionally, some situations require attention or action, etc.

In the end, it seems you want a closer relationship with your mom by sharing personal things, and she is uncomfortable with this for some reason that she may not even be aware of. But you can talk with her about her tendency to do this, and let her know how you feel as a result.