Another question for the guys

[bluebird88]

Do you like very independent women with "intimidating" and successful careers?

 

[Luther073082]

As long as she isn't going to hold it over my head or brag about it or something I have no problem with it. I'm confortable enough in my own masculinity that I could be a stay at home dad if that worked out for the best.

But I don't think current career is really much of a concern of mine.

 

[arunma]

Depends on what you mean by intimidating. I certainly don't mind women with successful careers, and I wouldn't be dissuaded from dating a woman simply because she had a successful career. To be honest, I think I might slightly prefer a woman who is somewhat independent. But if by "intimidating," you mean that she carries a gun to work and knows 29 different ways to kill me with only one hand...well, that might be an issue.

Bottom line: I'm far more interested in her faith than how much money she makes.

 

[Peacemonger]

There is no such thing as intimidating.

 

[RDouglas]

Do you like very independent women with "intimidating" and successful careers?

Can't honestly say I'd find a successful career intimidating.

I tend to be more attracted to highly intelligent women.

 

[christcentered]

What I like is a certain level of completeness, happiness and comfort she has within herself. She's fine on her own but chooses otherwise.

For me, career has very little to do with her "independence". It's all about the heart and emotional state. She could have a so-called "important" job and/or more than adequate income, which is fine, but be completely off center when it comes to how she lives aside from her financial independence. A woman earning a little can be more "independent" than a woman earning a lot....although it can work the other way too. Depends on the individual and where she is in life. I would hope that whatever she does would bring her some happiness and satisfaction in some ways. Her "station" doesn't factor into it for me though. I'd want to support her in whatever she does.

 

[RDouglas]

I asked a girl out after she beat me in a tae kwon do sparring match. I guess you could say "intimidation" isn't a big deal for me

 

[simmeringabsolute]

One thing I notice about women who have intimidating and successful careers is that it seems to make them almost inhuman. They are always guarded but yet on the offense. Always suspicious. Always competing. I want a woman who lets her guard down and isn't a big ole phony.

 

[PiusPiper]

If that woman was williing to give up her career and all her money and success and ego, etc.... should God call her to go and serve as a missionary in an impoverished country saving souls and preaching the Gospel......I'd have no problem with it.

 

[Gimpy]

dont know what you mean by intimidating but a good paying career for her means I can retire early

 

[Timyone]

depending on the girl, some times yes!!
some times i totally go for it, depending on if the girl cares that im just a nurse etc etc

 

[catofhope]

One thing I notice about women who have intimidating and successful careers is that it seems to make them almost inhuman. They are always guarded but yet on the offense. Always suspicious. Always competing. I want a woman who lets her guard down and isn't a big ole phony.

Yeah there are some woman that are as you described most of the time.

BUT...

Remember who she is on the job can be very different than who she is away from the job and certainly with loved ones whether that be family, friends or boyfriend.
Sometimes the job requires a person to be detached and unemotional especially is over (mostly) men.
The fact is in the workplace a woman still has a hard time getting respect even when she is more competent.

 

[BouncedBack]

Yes, I definitely like very independant women, intimidating career or not.


Less independant women tend to make you part, lets be honest, most of their identity. I would prefer a woman who has her own identity, while I have my own identity, then we have ours together.

 

[Macrina]

One thing I notice about women who have intimidating and successful careers is that it seems to make them almost inhuman. They are always guarded but yet on the offense. Always suspicious. Always competing. I want a woman who lets her guard down and isn't a big ole phony.

I get that.

At the same time, I think a lot of this arises from defensiveness... or at least, it would for me. Not that I have a high-paying powerful career, but I have been in situations where men have been intimidated by my education and/or put off by my vocation. Common wisdom has it (whether it's true or not) that unless a man is already in ministry, he's not likely to go for the idea of being a pastor's husband. That doesn't bother me to the extent that it affects how I view men, but I have one friend for whom that is the case, and I can understand how such defensiveness might arise.

But if we're talking about being abrasive and always "I don't need you, ha ha ha!" in the attitude, then that's clearly not ideal either.

Yes, I definitely like very independant women, intimidating career or not.


Less independant women tend to make you part, lets be honest, most of their identity. I would prefer a woman who has her own identity, while I have my own identity, then we have ours together.

I get that, too. I think it goes both ways -- I don't want a guy who will place his entire identity in me (seriously, no pressure there! ). I think it's just a healthy balance -- setting aside whatever the individual vocations may be within a couple, both people need to have a sense of personal identity even while maintaining their strong commitment to one another.

 

[christcentered]

Not that I have a high-paying powerful career, but I have been in situations where men have been intimidated by my education and/or put off by my vocation. Common wisdom has it (whether it's true or not) that unless a man is already in ministry, he's not likely to go for the idea of being a pastor's husband. That doesn't bother me to the extent that it affects how I view men, but I have one friend for whom that is the case, and I can understand how such defensiveness might arise.

Yeah. It's not just about economics. Women in ministry are great as far as I'm concerned, as one example. But I know where you're coming from, Macrina & I'm sure you've heard it all. Another example might be that "she" has a job down at the legal co-op & gets paid peanuts but has alphabet soup after her last name.

 

[Peacemonger]

Yeah there are some woman that are as you described most of the time.

BUT...

Remember who she is on the job can be very different than who she is away from the job and certainly with loved ones whether that be family, friends or boyfriend.
Sometimes the job requires a person to be detached and unemotional especially is over (mostly) men.
The fact is in the workplace a woman still has a hard time getting respect even when she is more competent.

I strongly disagree. Respect has nothing at all to do with gender (male or female) but has everything to do with humility. If a woman (or man) is condescending or arrogant or prideful, that woman or man is not deserving of respect.

Too many people play hierarchical games and do not have the inner strength to live in the spirit instead of the animalistic flesh. Such is the world we live in.

 

[catofhope]

I strongly disagree. Respect has nothing at all to do with gender (male or female) but has everything to do with humility. If a woman (or man) is condescending or arrogant or prideful, that woman or man is not deserving of respect.

Too many people play hierarchical games and do not have the inner strength to live in the spirit instead of the animalistic flesh. Such is the world we live in.

A strong/independent woman does not mean she is condescending, arrogant or prideful.
Seeing your age maybe your generation is or will be different than the people I worked with.
The men wholeheartedly admitted to NOT wanting to take direction from a women.

But since I do not intend to argue this I will let that be my final comment on the matter.

 

[Macrina]

I strongly disagree. Respect has nothing at all to do with gender (male or female) but has everything to do with humility. If a woman (or man) is condescending or arrogant or prideful, that woman or man is not deserving of respect.

Too many people play hierarchical games and do not have the inner strength to live in the spirit instead of the animalistic flesh. Such is the world we live in.

You might be surprised at how many women are neither condescending, arrogant, nor prideful, but are still accorded less respect than their male colleagues. It varies somewhat by career and region, and naturally not everyone discriminates... but it's a real problem.

I have a hunch that at least a few of the women who have obnoxious attitudes and don't "deserve" respect probably got obnoxious in the first place as a reaction to the attitudes of others. It's not an excuse, but it does explain that there is a bit of a chicken-and-egg situation here.

 

[BoazB]

If that woman was williing to give up her career and all her money and success and ego, etc.... should God call her to go and serve as a missionary in an impoverished country saving souls and preaching the Gospel......I'd have no problem with it.

Yep. I like that. Good post.

 

[Macrina]

Yeah. It's not just about economics. Women in ministry are great as far as I'm concerned, as one example. But I know where you're coming from, Macrina & I'm sure you've heard it all. Another example might be that "she" has a job down at the legal co-op & gets paid peanuts but has alphabet soup after her last name.

Yeah, education (the alphabet soup, love that) is a major factor. I was once dating a man who became very threatened by my choice of school and actively opposed me going there. He was always saying things like "just because I don't go there doesn't mean I'm dumb," and I'd be all, "uh, didn't say it did, Bub." I honestly did not care, but I think his intimidation over my education was a huge factor in how things deteriorated. No matter how much I reassured him, he never stopped being defensive.