Dear all,
I've been really perplexed over a problem recently, and after much thought, and typing out pages and pages of pros and cons, I still find it hard to settle on a decision. Would greatly appreciate if you could give me some advice and also remember me in prayer...
I started a doctor of education programme slightly more than a year ago. I never thought of working and studying part-time, because I thought it would be too taxing. When my boss encouraged me to start the course, I was very touched that he thought about my future, and thought it might be God showing me the way through him (My boss is a very good Christian. He told me honestly that my studying would be a win-win situation, because I could continue to help him, and it would also open doors for me.)
The first year was mainly modules and assignments, no real data-collection yet. It was very tiring, but I managed to do well, scoring high distinctions in most assignments.
However, my health has deteriorated quite significantly, so has my social life. Ever since I started working in the present committee, I have been working very hard. It is one of the most high-involvement committees in school, and we work throughout the year. With such a full load and all the assignments, I had little time for my family and boyfriend. I also would also fall sick about once a month.
Now that I've completed the coursework, I am really beginning to wonder if this is what I want. School life has been so taxing, that I am no longer even sure whether I want to stay in education for the long haul (teachers work very hard in my country, often burning weekends and night).
In the months after my last assignment, I enjoyed my life much more. I had time with my boyfriend, we could work out issues better. I fell sick less. I had more time to pray and watch sermon podcasts... I had time to exercise. I could spend time with my family, especially when my sisters come back to visit us.
Going ahead with the EdD might not be as tiring as the first year, as things are always harder at the start, but I find it so hard to go on.
I need to pilot a test with 200 students this year. and mark the 200 scripts a few times (measuring different variables). I need to find volunteers to mark scripts for a token fee. Next year, I'll need about 100 students again to do the real test, and I need to test the same students three times. I need do statistics (which I haven't learnt) and write chapters. I'm not sure if the students will willingly stay to do the test, because I won't be teaching most of them, it will be an imposition. I'm afraid that I'll take 5 years to complete the progamme, which is quite the norm, although the recommended was 4. I'm afraid I'll burn out halfway (given the heavy workload that I'm doing).
I do not enjoy my work in the committee, because I'm not doing what I like/am good at. I wanted to do something else, but my boss fought to get me in the team.
I do not enjoy collecting data. I've always hated data collection. In my undergraduate days, I would choose research topics that only require me to examine texts.
Also, I really feel that I want to leave this school. If I don't move around early in my career (try to work in different places), I'll find my options very limited later on.
Most of all, I know that I'm a perfectionist who tends to get very absorbed in my work. With work alone, I'm still able to manage, but with the studying, I find that I'm thinking about work and studies nearly all the time. I say "no" to gatherings and minimise other commitments so that I can finish my work.
I'm thinking of leaving my school to seek a posting elsewhere for more exposure, and at the same time, take a break from a hectic life. Was thinking perhaps I can exit with Masters and then study full-time next time and do a PhD in linguistics or Philo, which would be mainly about data collection...
It seems like a good idea, but I'm afraid to drop the course. I find it hard to give up; at the same time, I find it hard to imagine continuing because I know I'm going to sacrifice so many things, but there is no guarantee that I'll need this cert. Afterall, I may feel so sick of everything that I just quit teaching all together.
Have been stuck in this dilemma for a while but I still feel no peace in my heart, even though I think you can probably tell my preference.
Please do pray for me, and I would really really appreciate your godly counsel.
Sorry for such a long post...
I've been really perplexed over a problem recently, and after much thought, and typing out pages and pages of pros and cons, I still find it hard to settle on a decision. Would greatly appreciate if you could give me some advice and also remember me in prayer...
I started a doctor of education programme slightly more than a year ago. I never thought of working and studying part-time, because I thought it would be too taxing. When my boss encouraged me to start the course, I was very touched that he thought about my future, and thought it might be God showing me the way through him (My boss is a very good Christian. He told me honestly that my studying would be a win-win situation, because I could continue to help him, and it would also open doors for me.)
The first year was mainly modules and assignments, no real data-collection yet. It was very tiring, but I managed to do well, scoring high distinctions in most assignments.
However, my health has deteriorated quite significantly, so has my social life. Ever since I started working in the present committee, I have been working very hard. It is one of the most high-involvement committees in school, and we work throughout the year. With such a full load and all the assignments, I had little time for my family and boyfriend. I also would also fall sick about once a month.
Now that I've completed the coursework, I am really beginning to wonder if this is what I want. School life has been so taxing, that I am no longer even sure whether I want to stay in education for the long haul (teachers work very hard in my country, often burning weekends and night).
In the months after my last assignment, I enjoyed my life much more. I had time with my boyfriend, we could work out issues better. I fell sick less. I had more time to pray and watch sermon podcasts... I had time to exercise. I could spend time with my family, especially when my sisters come back to visit us.
Going ahead with the EdD might not be as tiring as the first year, as things are always harder at the start, but I find it so hard to go on.
I need to pilot a test with 200 students this year. and mark the 200 scripts a few times (measuring different variables). I need to find volunteers to mark scripts for a token fee. Next year, I'll need about 100 students again to do the real test, and I need to test the same students three times. I need do statistics (which I haven't learnt) and write chapters. I'm not sure if the students will willingly stay to do the test, because I won't be teaching most of them, it will be an imposition. I'm afraid that I'll take 5 years to complete the progamme, which is quite the norm, although the recommended was 4. I'm afraid I'll burn out halfway (given the heavy workload that I'm doing).
I do not enjoy my work in the committee, because I'm not doing what I like/am good at. I wanted to do something else, but my boss fought to get me in the team.
I do not enjoy collecting data. I've always hated data collection. In my undergraduate days, I would choose research topics that only require me to examine texts.
Also, I really feel that I want to leave this school. If I don't move around early in my career (try to work in different places), I'll find my options very limited later on.
Most of all, I know that I'm a perfectionist who tends to get very absorbed in my work. With work alone, I'm still able to manage, but with the studying, I find that I'm thinking about work and studies nearly all the time. I say "no" to gatherings and minimise other commitments so that I can finish my work.
I'm thinking of leaving my school to seek a posting elsewhere for more exposure, and at the same time, take a break from a hectic life. Was thinking perhaps I can exit with Masters and then study full-time next time and do a PhD in linguistics or Philo, which would be mainly about data collection...
It seems like a good idea, but I'm afraid to drop the course. I find it hard to give up; at the same time, I find it hard to imagine continuing because I know I'm going to sacrifice so many things, but there is no guarantee that I'll need this cert. Afterall, I may feel so sick of everything that I just quit teaching all together.
Have been stuck in this dilemma for a while but I still feel no peace in my heart, even though I think you can probably tell my preference.
Please do pray for me, and I would really really appreciate your godly counsel.
Sorry for such a long post...
