A question not about the opposite sex (Warning: May be tempting for those who SI)

[Bevlina]

It amazes me the courage that is in some folk. That inner strength that urges them forward. Yes, there will be doubts at times, yes, there will be alot of thinking. But, in the long run, God takes, and loves His own and holds you in the Palm of His Hand.
You can talk to some professionals all you like, but, they help some. Not all. And, it's easy to pretend it doesn't exist. But, facts are facts. Pretence is not facing the issue.
And sadly, issues have to be faced, and dealt with. Mostly, it's just ordinary folk who do the most helping just by being there, or listening and understanding.
Bam's post touched my heart. What a testimony!!!
Just hold tight tuba, you'll get there, and, you have our prayers for our Father to give you the strength you need.

 

[tubaboy963]

I so understand that, I told my counsellor when I started doing it and he made all these weird faces, and looked shocked and asked me how it felt, so, needless to say it wasn't easy, but you can't give up. God loves you. One person you can talk to, who will understand, and be very caring, and non-judgmental, is a youth pastor, or even your regular church pastor. He/she is Christian, and will be able to help you through the Faith. God understands what you are going through. He also paid the price for us, so whatever you are hurting for, don't solve the pain in an instant, for an instant. Talk it out with someone you really trust. Take care. God Bless.

There is no way I could talk to the Senior Pastor at my church. This is a guy who accused me of causing dissension because I didn't agree with him on how to run a computer for CD recording when I'm the Media Director. Then a week or two later he accused me of being hard to work with. I know these allegations are untrue because I always am thinking about what other people think and when I was told I was being hard to work with, I was also told to stop thinking of the future and instead think of the now. So, me and him don't see eye to eye. Also, why would I want to talk to him. This is a guy who I know has never had to deal with SI or suicide. I don't think it'd be right talking to someone who can't relate.

 

[Godsgirl481]

There is no way I could talk to the Senior Pastor at my church. This is a guy who accused me of causing dissension because I didn't agree with him on how to run a computer for CD recording when I'm the Media Director. Then a week or two later he accused me of being hard to work with. I know these allegations are untrue because I always am thinking about what other people think and when I was told I was being hard to work with, I was also told to stop thinking of the future and instead think of the now. So, me and him don't see eye to eye. Also, why would I want to talk to him. This is a guy who I know has never had to deal with SI or suicide. I don't think it'd be right talking to someone who can't relate.

You don't have to talk to him...and I would never advise someone to talk to a person who cannot relate or knows nothing about SI. It is looked upon with discuss to some people. But, the fact stands...you need someone to lean on. I also recommend a person inside the church...someone you could trust and someone that can understand.

 

[Bevlina]

There is no way I could talk to the Senior Pastor at my church. This is a guy who accused me of causing dissension because I didn't agree with him on how to run a computer for CD recording when I'm the Media Director. Then a week or two later he accused me of being hard to work with. I know these allegations are untrue because I always am thinking about what other people think and when I was told I was being hard to work with, I was also told to stop thinking of the future and instead think of the now. So, me and him don't see eye to eye. Also, why would I want to talk to him. This is a guy who I know has never had to deal with SI or suicide. I don't think it'd be right talking to someone who can't relate.

Nope, this one is not a confidante of your's. Obviously not even a friend from the sounds of it. So he is fefinitely not the one to talk to about something so personal.
I agree with what Bams has to say though.

 

[Godsgirl481]

You don't have to talk to him...and I would never advise someone to talk to a person who cannot relate or knows nothing about SI. It is looked upon with discuss to some people. But, the fact stands...you need someone to lean on. I also recommend a person inside the church...someone you could trust and someone that can understand.

I recommend someone in a church or a Christian counselor because I have found that some of this can be Spritual related and a secular counselor or a non-believer will tend to medicate the situation instead of fixing it. One wise man once told me that SI is just a symptom to a bigger problem. You have to fix the bigger problem before SI will go away. I wasn't fixed...I am just replacing the SI with drugs...and now I am in a bigger mess. I too am in the same boat as you...but coming from someone that has been hurting herself since she was 7....it's not good....it is never a good way to cope.

 

[tubaboy963]

You don't have to talk to him...and I would never advise someone to talk to a person who cannot relate or knows nothing about SI. It is looked upon with discuss to some people. But, the fact stands...you need someone to lean on. I also recommend a person inside the church...someone you could trust and someone that can understand.

How do I find that. You just can't go up to people and be like, "Hey, have you cut?"

 

[leigh01]

alot ov ppl c it a stupid way to releive stress i did it and stopped 4 6 months and started again cuz ov bullyin rite i dont c the problem but others said if u self harm ur harmin god and dats wat stopped me try it just think of it

 

[Godsgirl481]

How do I find that. You just can't go up to people and be like, "Hey, have you cut?"

Ever bring up something in conversation? I do that a lot to test people and see if they are safe to talk to. Like "Hey, I was watching Dr. Phil last week (or whatever show) and saw some people on there that were cutting themselves..." Or just sorta dance around the subject a little bit....or talk to them about some stuff first to test the waters. Don't dive right into it....or you may get a bad reaction. Sometimes people tell you what you need to know themselves. Like when I worked for DirecTV, we had TVs there we could watch on closed caption while on the phone...and my friend that was sitting next to me goes "...Oh my gosh...that girl cuts herselves, she's crazy..." Well that sorta told me....I'm never telling her that I do that.....something like that. It is never something you should hide...you need to talk about it to find the underlining reason you do it.

 

[Bevlina]

Well, fact is Bams, you need a special confidante. Someone to share your sorrows and joys with. Someone to encourage and see you through, who will not look down on you no matter what. Am I right?

 

[Godsgirl481]

Well, fact is Bams, you need a special confidante. Someone to share your sorrows and joys with. Someone to encourage and see you through, who will not look down on you no matter what. Am I right?

Yes, you are totally right. Mine are online buddies such as you ...but yes, people need people to confine in...

 

[tubaboy963]

Yes, you ae totally right. Mine are online buddies such as you ...but yes, people need people to confine in...

The problem with online people is that you don't always tell them everything. I'm speaking with experience from both sides. You can't see their facial expressions which many times will either tell you to drop it or to poke deeper and just all the nuances like that. I do talk to people online, but I'd rather find someone in person. Someone who will know when I'm lying to them. Someone who can figure out if I want them to persue that train of thought or if i want to drop the subject for the day.

 

[Godsgirl481]

The problem with online people is that you don't always tell them everything. I'm speaking with experience from both sides. You can't see their facial expressions which many times will either tell you to drop it or to poke deeper and just all the nuances like that. I do talk to people online, but I'd rather find someone in person. Someone who will know when I'm lying to them. Someone who can figure out if I want them to persue that train of thought or if i want to drop the subject for the day.

I don't have that problem...because I don't lie. Not usually anyways. I have to lie to my roommate's husband because he is mean and if she does something wrong, I tell him I did it so he will yell at me and not her and their 4 year old daughter. But I don't lie about myself...there's really no use in that. Why try to be someone you are not? Anyways...online works for me because I can't see them...I close myself up tight if I am in front of someone. Talking online is almost like talking to myself or journaling. But whatever works for you.

 

[tubaboy963]

Today is day number 7 that I haven't cut . It's not that I couldn't, it's been that for some reason, the desire has been taken away. I've come to realize that God may have been there when I needed him, but was silenced by everything else that was screaming to get my attention. I don't know. I'm still not sure about it, but he had to be there, right? I'm working on restoring my relationship with Him. I'm glad He's not a human, it would be so much more work. I haven't even thought about suicide in about two weeks. Boy, were those a couple of miserable days. It even scared me. Thanks for all your advice and prayers. I'll still frequent this forum.

 

[Godsgirl481]

Today is day number 7 that I haven't cut . It's not that I couldn't, it's been that for some reason, the desire has been taken away. I've come to realize that God may have been there when I needed him, but was silenced by everything else that was screaming to get my attention. I don't know. I'm still not sure about it, but he had to be there, right? I'm working on restoring my relationship with Him. I'm glad He's not a human, it would be so much more work. I haven't even thought about suicide in about two weeks. Boy, were those a couple of miserable days. It even scared me. Thanks for all your advice and prayers. I'll still frequent this forum.

Congrats on 7 days Keep counting and remember we are here for you.