I don't view it as a question of wiring but the realities of spiritual warfare. You will never have a 'Christian' setting devoid of his influence. He directs people to this site and towards specific persons. Some influence conversations and keep certain topics alive while others falter. Some stir the pot. They make jabs and goad one another which affects the atmosphere.
But singles draws a different sort and you'll understand when know he operates. The devil doesn't care about you discussing God. I hinted at this in my response to
@venksta. He cares when action follows your statements through works or prayer because there's spiritual laws involved. When they're invoked things happen.
If he cannot thwart your belief he makes you ineffective. The best way to do that for singles is to have you focus on your circumstances. Which inspires posts about gender wars, negative experiences, and anything that makes you hopeless. He doesn't want you to join arms or focus on the things you could overcome by working together.
I always found it strange that a group of people desiring marriage who professed belief in Christ weren't actively praying for one another on one accord.
I found it equally strange that a group of people with a similar struggle weren't praying against it collectively. When you share a burden you'll pray for it with greater ferocity than one who doesn't.
Thriving communities require vision and a willingness to look beyond your circumstances. You have to add to the conversation and don't treat it like a drop in clinic. The Christian response to problems is prayer. Not complaints, rants or moaning sessions. When a demographic isn't willing to walk in those truths it opens the door for other elements.
I've participated in those communities for years and one of the key qualities is balanced discourse. There's a continual flow of interesting topics coupled with questions and a smattering of posts related to challenges. But the latter differed in its approach.
When problems were shared it wasn't a coddle session. There were expressions of empathy followed by questions and differing degrees of input. If the topic arose later on the previous thread was cited with additional remarks on what they've done since that period. We're looking for progression and a visible display of effort.
The most distinctive element of the community was the propensity for action. We were doing the things we discussed which lent a level of expertise and growth because we shared our experiences. When newcomers arrived they had a lot to draw from. Theories were discussed but we always returned to application. Which kept conversations going and inspired engagement.
We were the number one site on that subject on the Internet for years. We were passionate and had a thirst for learning and the dominant voices shared those qualities. We had troublemakers too but they couldn't get a foothold because the population was invested. When they tried to derail a thread we shut it down and got the mods involved. We valued our community.
We were fortunate to attract a gathering of people who were leaders, visionaries and creatives gifted in communication with a shared passion for the subject and togetherness. And you couldn't usurp our interests. We didn't allow off-topic subjects to become the dominant theme. We protected our space.
We were on one accord but we weren't believers. Everyone did their part (the thing they were good at) and we learned from one another. There was a lot of give and take. But when everyone is doing their own thing and there's no unity it's not a community.
After arriving in Jerusalem, Nehemiah set out in the night to investigate the city’s condition. It was in bad shape, probably worse than he had imagined. The work ahead was massive, and it would require many hands. As the saying goes, many hands make light work. Even still, one might easily have looked at the job and said, it’s too big!
Nevertheless, the people offered up willing hearts and ready hands, and God can work with that. In any great task you need leadership, a vision, and some skin in the game. Nehemiah was clearly the leader - he had a burden from the Lord, and a plan in place. This was necessary, but what was most necessary was people. People are always the way in which God advances his plans on the earth.
It was the people who had to say, “Let us rise up and build.” Without everyone involved, the task was too great.
The people worked with all of their hearts, side by side. Families worked together to build the section of the wall just in front of their own home. Because, individually protected homes adds up to make a collectively protected community. When those with more skill and energy finished their own section, they went on to help others. The things that are too much for just one person or even a few are achievable when everyone rises up and gets involved.
~bella