Hello, I really need some advice on my situation.
So to start off my boyfriend and I met during college. He was brought up in a strong Christian household, faithful/supporting family, he went to church each weekend, and brought me closer to The Lord. I am a Christian as well, but I was a weak one when we met. I had dated a few guys and lost some of my Christian values in college, so when I met my current boyfriend, he really helped me. He made me a stronger Christian and always would make sure that we prayed and we had weekly bible studies. We attended church college groups and kept each other accountable. He was that strong Christian man that I needed and he saved me. In college, I drank, went to clubs, messed around with guys, and was lost. My boyfriend really helped me and always made sure I was following God's word. But then two years later, he cheats on me.
He talked with my parents about marrying me in two years and we even talked with his pastor alot about us getting married. He was the real deal and we were so close to each other's families. He was always saving himself for marriage (sex) and one day I kinda persuaded him to have premarital sex with me. It took a couple weeks, but he gave in. I did feel horrible, but we loved each other and I didnt see anything wrong. He was such a strong religious figure in my life and we tried to be that strong Christian couple. I am his first real girlfriend and the one hes given everything to. So a year after we met, he moved out of his parents house and moved closer to me because he transferred schools. He began drinking more with me, we were having sex, going out dancing alot, and he began cussing (something he always encouraged me not to do), and he gradually started not going to church anymore. This went on for about another year and I did not seem to notice the changes, because he was becoming more like me and I liked it. He had roomates that would sleep around alot and teased him for not having sex with me (he told them we didnt have sex). They were bad influences, but I didnt think they would change him. We still prayed sometimes, but he started losing his faith. He hated when girls wore inappropriate clothing and was someone I NEVER thought would cheat on me.
Also I will add, during our relationship he told me that I was super controlling and he couldnt do anything...which I will admit is true. I didnt like his music, spending time with his friends, doing things he liked to do. I also always said I wanted to break up for dumb reasons, like when we fought. He would get so hurt and say, "why do you always want to break up?" it makes me feel horrible. I would always accuse him of cheating on me, when I knew he wasnt. Anyways tho, Idk if that has anything to do with his cheating. He also has a lot of pressure on him with paying for school, rent, car. He also was sad that I wasnt following Jesus as strongly as he was.
So now we have been together for 2 years and were planning on getting engaged next year. He is on vacation for 3 weeks and I find on his labtop (which he let me use while he was gone), sexual texts to another girl. He met up with a girl while I was on vacation for a week and never told me about it. It has been about 2 months since that happened. Im in total shock. I just cant believe he would do this to me. He didnt have sex with her, but I am so confused. He has written letters to me during his trip saying how much he loves me and is praying for me while he is gone. Why would a man God do this to me?
I dont want to think I am to blame, but since we had premartial sex and not practicing God's word, we were sinning, maybe that caused him to want more and think casual sex was okay? Ugh I do not know what to do. Any advice? Help. Should I talk with him and we both see a pastor to fix our issues? Or is this a lost cause?
So to start off my boyfriend and I met during college. He was brought up in a strong Christian household, faithful/supporting family, he went to church each weekend, and brought me closer to The Lord. I am a Christian as well, but I was a weak one when we met. I had dated a few guys and lost some of my Christian values in college, so when I met my current boyfriend, he really helped me. He made me a stronger Christian and always would make sure that we prayed and we had weekly bible studies. We attended church college groups and kept each other accountable. He was that strong Christian man that I needed and he saved me. In college, I drank, went to clubs, messed around with guys, and was lost. My boyfriend really helped me and always made sure I was following God's word. But then two years later, he cheats on me.
He talked with my parents about marrying me in two years and we even talked with his pastor alot about us getting married. He was the real deal and we were so close to each other's families. He was always saving himself for marriage (sex) and one day I kinda persuaded him to have premarital sex with me. It took a couple weeks, but he gave in. I did feel horrible, but we loved each other and I didnt see anything wrong. He was such a strong religious figure in my life and we tried to be that strong Christian couple. I am his first real girlfriend and the one hes given everything to. So a year after we met, he moved out of his parents house and moved closer to me because he transferred schools. He began drinking more with me, we were having sex, going out dancing alot, and he began cussing (something he always encouraged me not to do), and he gradually started not going to church anymore. This went on for about another year and I did not seem to notice the changes, because he was becoming more like me and I liked it. He had roomates that would sleep around alot and teased him for not having sex with me (he told them we didnt have sex). They were bad influences, but I didnt think they would change him. We still prayed sometimes, but he started losing his faith. He hated when girls wore inappropriate clothing and was someone I NEVER thought would cheat on me.
Also I will add, during our relationship he told me that I was super controlling and he couldnt do anything...which I will admit is true. I didnt like his music, spending time with his friends, doing things he liked to do. I also always said I wanted to break up for dumb reasons, like when we fought. He would get so hurt and say, "why do you always want to break up?" it makes me feel horrible. I would always accuse him of cheating on me, when I knew he wasnt. Anyways tho, Idk if that has anything to do with his cheating. He also has a lot of pressure on him with paying for school, rent, car. He also was sad that I wasnt following Jesus as strongly as he was.
So now we have been together for 2 years and were planning on getting engaged next year. He is on vacation for 3 weeks and I find on his labtop (which he let me use while he was gone), sexual texts to another girl. He met up with a girl while I was on vacation for a week and never told me about it. It has been about 2 months since that happened. Im in total shock. I just cant believe he would do this to me. He didnt have sex with her, but I am so confused. He has written letters to me during his trip saying how much he loves me and is praying for me while he is gone. Why would a man God do this to me?
I dont want to think I am to blame, but since we had premartial sex and not practicing God's word, we were sinning, maybe that caused him to want more and think casual sex was okay? Ugh I do not know what to do. Any advice? Help. Should I talk with him and we both see a pastor to fix our issues? Or is this a lost cause?