Introversion vs Extroversion

NotUrAvgGuy

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I am glad to hear you are getting help and sad to hear that it is a struggle to find something that works. I am sure that the answer lies somewhere in both counseling and medications since the chemical imbalance is probably a result of the mental trauma that damages how the brain functions....on top of anything that would have been there even without the tough childhood. And like anyone struggling with a chronic medical condition, it is not proof that God doesn't love you or that you are doing something wrong. Keep reaching for a life that you can be satisfied with...even if that doesn't look like one that anyone else would chose. This is all temporary luckily. ((hugs))
Thanks! It's funny. I have friends who love me to death and want the best for me yet see it all as attitude and if I just committed myself to change and allowed God to work in my life then I would be a completely different person. So it's all up to me and meds and brain chemistry have no part. They don't oppose the use of meds though. Then there is my brother. He is a part-time pastor, seminary graduate, who denies your pre-christian past even affects you. He claims that once you become a Christian you are a new creation and the old man has died and is gone. He fails to understand that is a reference to sin's grip on us but does not mean our past hurts are all instantly healed. He is totally against anything but completely Biblical counseling and thinks meds are not the answer. He sees everything as a sin problem. If you're depressed its because you are not content in Christ. If you are anxious then you are not trusting God's provision. So the solution to every problem is to repent!
 
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blackribbon

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Thanks! It's funny. I have friends who love me to death and want the best for me yet see it all as attitude and if I just committed myself to change and allowed God to work in my life then I would be a completely different person. So it's all up to me and meds and brain chemistry have no part. They don't oppose the use of meds though. Then there is my brother. He is a part-time pastor, seminary graduate, who denies your pre-christian past even affects you. He claims that once you become a Christian you are a new creation and the old man has died and is gone. He fails to understand that is a reference to sin's grip on us but does not mean our past hurts are all instantly healed. He is totally against anything but completely Biblical counseling and thinks meds are not the answer. He sees everything as a sin problem. If you're depressed its because you are not content in Christ. If you are anxious then you are not trusting God's provision. So the solution to every problem is to repent!

Ask him if the pre-Christian man has cerebral palsy, will salvation instantly heal? And can Christians suffer brain trauma...either physical or mental (like watching your child blow up?)

I hate people who do not realize the psychological part of people is also God made but under the laws of sin and death every bit as much as the physical body. You can't wish everything better.
 
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dayhiker

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NotUrAvgGuy -- thanks for sharing that part of your life. What you said earlier makes a lot more sense now.
Even if God hasn't healed you yet, I do believe God wants to heal you. No clue how He would bring the about.
There is an interesting and fairly new approach traumatic healing. Peter A. Levine has written some books on
somatic therapy. Somatic being the Greek work for body. The idea being that trauma is held in our body.
Might be another avenue to look into. I have a GF who does this type of therapy and its interesting how
it has helped some people.
 
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NotUrAvgGuy

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Ask him if the pre-Christian man has cerebral palsy, will salvation instantly heal? And can Christians suffer brain trauma...either physical or mental (like watching your child blow up?)

I hate people who do not realize the psychological part of people is also God made but under the laws of sin and death every bit as much as the physical body. You can't wish everything better.
My brother once told me that when he does marriage counseling it never goes longer than 6 weeks. That is enough time to determine what the sin issues are and to call the guilty parties to repentance. After that they either repent and the marriage is healed or they refuse to repent in which case they need to be put under church discipline. Oh he is big on church discipline! He once tried to talk our pastor into putting me under church discipline for moving from California to Idaho. Since my marriage was not the best he felt my moving was running away from those who could help by holding us accountable and thus to move would be sin. I was aghast. I just told him that I had tried for years to get my wife to agree to counseling and that I knew that moving was not going to solve our problems but that I would continue to seek godly counsel in Idaho. That was not enough for him though. He only backed down when I brought another friend into it who had a very strong personality and my brother knew he'd never succeed in getting me to back down. His parting comment though was "I will be watching!"
 
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dayhiker

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WOW .. NotUrAgeGuy ....
I've not been apart of a church like that in decades. When I was apart of one, I found I kept being tempted to move toward legalism and every
time I was the Holy Spirit pulled away form me and I started to feel self righteous. I went thru that cycle 3 or 4 times before I caught on!
Now I see Christianity as being about love and its amazing the healing I see in myself and the people around me.
You comment also reminds me of a person who told me about their pastor and how God would give him the verses they needed withing 10 -15 mins
of counseling. But God spoke to me as he was telling me that they people needed a friend more than they needed 30 mins of counseling. The last few
years most of my minister is thru being a friend to people. It takes a whole lot of time, but it is so much healthier for me and them.
 
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blackribbon

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Your brother hasn't healed from your childhood either. He just has stuffed and hidden the issues and hides behind the appearance of being "okay". In his mind, people have to earn their way into Heaven by fixing themselves. While God says "come to me" when you are broken because He knows only He can heal us.
 
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NotUrAvgGuy

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Your brother hasn't healed from your childhood either. He just has stuffed and hidden the issues and hides behind the appearance of being "okay". In his mind, people have to earn their way into Heaven by fixing themselves. While God says "come to me" when you are broken because He knows only He can heal us.
I don't know why but I have run into a lot of very legalistic Christians even though I am not nor are the churches I've attended. My ex was like that too. She once accused me of showing inappropriate content to our children by watching the movie Spiderman with them. I asked her what was inappropriate contentographic about the movie and she cited that you could see Mary Jane's nipple outlines when she kissed Spiderman in the rain and that she "dressed like a hooker" throughout the movie. I was dumbfounded. My brother has informed my children I "shoot inappropriate content" because as a photographer I have done some fashion shoots of fully dressed women but in more fashionable (but not revealing) clothing.

People like that waste so much time and energy judging others within the church rather than looking to their own sin and winning souls for the kingdom. I think by judging others it makes them feel superior and righteous and keeps them from having to face their own sins. My brother is in denial.
 
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blackribbon

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lol...I got in a long discussion with a couple here that said nudity was sinful...always. I highly suspect they had never seen each other nude based on the conversation. But in the end, they were horrified that I look at naked bodies all day long as a nurse...because I have to assess my patients to monitor their health. We don't strip them down and make them parade naked but yes, I see and touch female parts (I work on a women's gyn floor) and I have seen and touched male parts when providing care . I think they both about had a heart attack through the computer and told me just how evil I was. I wonder if they will feel the same if I had to clean up their loved ones who were lying in diarrhea...I mean, I am not sure how good of a job I would do if I tried to do it with my eyes closed. I can guarantee that attitude is why some of my patients get admitted with pressure ulcers on their buttocks that are big enough for me to put my fist in. Nobody looked at their skin or cleaned it properly.
 
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NotUrAvgGuy

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lol...I got in a long discussion with a couple here that said nudity was sinful...always. I highly suspect they had never seen each other nude based on the conversation. But in the end, they were horrified that I look at naked bodies all day long as a nurse...because I have to assess my patients to monitor their health. We don't strip them down and make them parade naked but yes, I see and touch female parts (I work on a women's gyn floor) and I have seen and touched male parts when providing care . I think they both about had a heart attack through the computer and told me just how evil I was. I wonder if they will feel the same if I had to clean up their loved ones who were lying in diarrhea...I mean, I am not sure how good of a job I would do if I tried to do it with my eyes closed. I can guarantee that attitude is why some of my patients get admitted with pressure ulcers on their buttocks that are big enough for me to put my fist in. Nobody looked at their skin or cleaned it properly.
As a photographer I run into that. I am ok with artistic nudes. As long as the purpose is not to titillate. When I shoot women (and I have rarely done nudes) I am all business as I am sure you are with your patients. There is nothing sexual or arousing about it. I am way too worried about my camera settings, the lighting, etc, to get turned out plus it's not that kind of setting. It's all tasteful and above board. Again it's rare I shoot stuff like that but when I have it's been very low key for me and the photos go to the model and rarely are seen by anyone else. When done I am off on another project and never go back and look at them. I've shot some boudoir for couples too. This is all a tiny fraction of what I do but I've had Christians and women be very uncomfortable with it.
 
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blackribbon

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As a photographer I run into that. I am ok with artistic nudes. As long as the purpose is not to titillate. When I shoot women (and I have rarely done nudes) I am all business as I am sure you are with your patients. There is nothing sexual or arousing about it. I am way too worried about my camera settings, the lighting, etc, to get turned out plus it's not that kind of setting. It's all tasteful and above board. Again it's rare I shoot stuff like that but when I have it's been very low key for me and the photos go to the model and rarely are seen by anyone else. When done I am off on another project and never go back and look at them. I've shot some boudoir for couples too. This is all a tiny fraction of what I do but I've had Christians and women be very uncomfortable with it.

I like some of the boudoir photos intended to be gifts for their husbands...and for private use only. I think they are especially good to make older women realize that they can and should still be sexually alive within their marriages. I think good photographers also help these women realize that even if they are older and have less than the cultural ideal figure, that their husband can still find them attractive and desirable.

I used to have nude photos of my babies over my bed. Positioned so that you didn't know which was the girl and which was the boy...but just the innocence of that age is what is portrayed (at about 6 months..sitting). My sister-in-law called them "kiddie inappropriate content". How sad for her.
 
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Snapshot Report
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Sociability
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According to your results you appear to be the type of person who enjoys socializing often, especially with large groups of people. You likely have an extensive social network, and rarely pass up the opportunity to expand it even further. Having an active social life appears fairly important to you, so chances are that when the opportunity to go out with "the gang" arises, you'll seldom turn it down. Individuals who score similarly to you enjoy interacting with a variety of people, regardless if they're friends or strangers. They are extremely people-oriented, are often described as the "life of the party" and tend to be exceptionally outgoing.

Now,this is the "exit" that you all know. :)

Now,I have found,for myself,that it is more enjoyable being an extrovert than being an introvert.Because,forty years ago,I would have never thought that I would be writing anything like this. Maybe it is meant for me to be single for the rest of my life.

I was thinking of augmenting my retirement income by working in a hospital lab,as a CLS,as I have worked in medical labs since 1973, for over 42 years. Then, I thought that why don't I do(,and get paid for) one of my hobbies in my semi-retirement and/or retirement years?
I have been an extra in movies. I have been on many cruises,while dancing,and socializing.
Therefore,I plan ,this time next year,to sign up for this company called Compass.

They have a Gentlemen Host Program.The company seeks single men,40 to 68 years old,very sociable gentlemen with excellent manners,good minglers who enjoy dinning,dancing,games,shipboard activities,touring ashore with guests,dancers,who have taken social ballroom dance classes,kind,honorable,and smiling community-minded volunteers,who do not mind being a host to women over 50 years old. By the way,I am now 62 years old.

They desire a man who is a good dancer,physically fit,fluent in English,a moderate or nondrinker,a good listener,(Well,I would just have to let the the woman do about 90% of the talking.),a good conversationalist,preferably a nonsmoker,and knows how to smile,smile,smile.

They also want a man who has a black tuxedo,a white dinner jacket,and a blue suit with tie.
Well,I am not bragging. But,I have all of these qualifications! :)
 

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blackribbon

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Now,I have found,for myself,that it is more enjoyable being an extrovert than being an introvert.Because,forty years ago,I would have never thought that I would be writing anything like this. Maybe it is meant for me to be single for the rest of my life.

I was thinking of augmenting my retirement income by working in a hospital lab,as a CLS,as I have worked in medical labs since 1973, for over 42 years. Then, I thought that why don't I do(,and get paid for) one of my hobbies in my semi-retirement and/or retirement years?
I have been an extra in movies. I have been on many cruises,while dancing,and socializing.
Therefore,I plan ,this time next year,to sign up for this company called Compass.

They have a Gentlemen Host Program.The company seeks single men,40 to 68 years old,very sociable gentlemen with excellent manners,good minglers who enjoy dinning,dancing,games,shipboard activities,touring ashore with guests,dancers,who have taken social ballroom dance classes,kind,honorable,and smiling community-minded volunteers.

They desire a man who is a good dancer,physically fit,fluent in English,a moderate or nondrinker,a good listener,a good conversationalist,preferably a nonsmoker,and knows how to smile,smile,smile.

They also want a man who has a black tuxedo,a white dinner jacket,and a blue suit with tie.
Well,I am not bragging. But,I have all of these qualifications!

I suspect that the unwritten requirement is also to not form an emotional attachment with the "date". But if you are okay with that, I am sure there are plenty of professional women who just want someone to go socialize with and not have the "date" obligation part.
 
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brinny

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i scored a 67....

According to your results you appear to be the type of person who enjoys socializing often, especially with large groups of people. You likely have an extensive social network, and rarely pass up the opportunity to expand it even further. Having an active social life appears fairly important to you, so chances are that when the opportunity to go out with "the gang" arises, you'll seldom turn it down. Individuals who score similarly to you enjoy interacting with a variety of people, regardless if they're friends or strangers. They are extremely people-oriented, are often described as the "life of the party" and tend to be exceptionally outgoing.

(i used to be painfully and excruciatingly shy)
 
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I suspect that the unwritten requirement is also to not form an emotional attachment with the "date". But if you are okay with that, I am sure there are plenty of professional women who just want someone to go socialize with and not have the "date" obligation part.

Most women,I assume,would just like to have some male company during their cruise.There are written rules about not playing favorites,not dancing with any one woman for two or more times in a row,treating every woman with respect,being sociable with all the ladies on board,even if she is not "your type",and no romantic activity while on board,or on shore excursions.

However,once the cruise is ...............over. :) :) :)
 
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I didn't realize this was cruise related. Do you get paid?

Well,this company will not allow the host to tell how much the hosts will get paid. But,one will usually share a suite with another Gentleman Host. On most cruise ships,that I have been on,a suite would cost about $2,600 to about 3,000 per person.A host may have a suite all to himself. All of your meals are included. Therefore,one would not have to pay for food for about a week to two weeks in a month. Some hosts and passengers have gotten together after the cruise was over.
 
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blackribbon

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Well,this company will not allow the host to tell how much the hosts will get paid. But,one will usually share a suite with another Gentleman Host. On most cruise ships,that I have been on,a suite would cost about $2,600 to about 3,000 per person.A host may have a suite all to himself. All of your meals are included. Therefore,one would not have to pay for food for about a week to two weeks in a month. Some hosts and passengers have gotten together after the cruise was over.

I looked online...it is about $30 a day...plus the cost of the cruise where you get to participate in all the perks of the cruise and it said he shared a room with another host. There also seems to be training sessions involved and you are not allowed to ever focus on one woman during a cruise or spend too much time with her. He said that sometimes people do connect after a cruise but he liked his "job" too much. If you like to go on cruises just to socialize in general, it sounds like a great deal.

(I looked it up because I just got curious because it is an interesting way to travel alone for a single man...and I forgot to look how old the posting was so the "pay" may have been off...but I realize the big part of the pay is the free cruise which is significant).
 
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I looked online...it is about $30 a day...plus the cost of the cruise where you get to participate in all the perks of the cruise and it said he shared a room with another host. There also seems to be training sessions involved and you are not allowed to ever focus on one woman during a cruise or spend too much time with her. He said that sometimes people do connect after a cruise but he liked his "job" too much. If you like to go on cruises just to socialize in general, it sounds like a great deal.

(I looked it up because I just got curious because it is an interesting way to travel alone for a single man...and I forgot to look how old the posting was so the "pay" may have been off...but I realize the big part of the pay is the free cruise which is significant).

In retirement,one has to be very,very careful with one's income versus one's outgo.While I am on the ship,I will not be spending money,because the cruise ,and the airfare are paid for. Yes,I do love to cruise and to socialize. There is always more older single women than older single men on these cruise ships,especially on the cruises that are longer than two weeks. I calculated my retirement plan with T.Rowe Price,my investment firm,and they estimated that I can afford to spend about $350. more a month and still will live comfortable. The one concern is health insurance. But,by me being a veteran,I may get a group rate for insurance.After I turn 66,Lord willing,I will get my full amount from Social Security. I do not have any children to put through college.My car is paid off. Out of my 7 major credit cards,1 card will be paid off in November. Four cards have a current balance of......$0.00! :) It is a great feeling,when you open up your monthly statement,and you have a zero balance on your credit card! Yes,I still pay my tithes. I am trying to be a good steward with my money.Well.at least this is one positive thing about me being single.
 
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