Living together before marriage

Why did Jesus eat fish with the disciples and not Locusts?

Is this a trick question? LOL

gpldisciple said:

I can not find in SCRIPTURE a prohibition against premarital sex. Why is the Word very specific about what is sexual immorality, and clearly specific about homosexual acts, but fails to specify pre-marital sex. How do people translate honoring marriage as meaning no sex before marriage? That is not logical.

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Here's what part of 1 Corinthians 7 has to say about premarital sex (of principle concern are v1-2 & 8-9, but I posted the entire passage for the sake of context):

Obviously St. Paul is not telling us that a married man should not touch his 'wife' in v1, but that because of fornication (inappropriate contenteia), the unmarried and the widow (v8) should marry if they do not have the self-control to abstain (because even though remaining single and celibate is preferable, it is "better to marry" than to burn with passion .. v9).

Paul teaches us that "marriage" is the cure for unmarried lust and passion, not fornication. The Bible never suggests otherwise.

Sex before marriage is clearly included in the Biblical definition/understanding of sexual immorality or fornication (inappropriate contenteia), even if it is not mentioned as directly as it is here in 1 Corinthians 7. To believe otherwise is to attempt to justify sinful behavior that is condemned throughout the Scriptures and, because of that fact, is condemned by both the Church and by Israel before her. Also, do not fail to consider all that the Bible has to say about both virginity (i.e. - Deuteronomy 22:28-29) and celibacy, in both the OT and the New.

Yours and His,
David

gpldisciple said:

See where the word ALWAYS indicates IDOLATRY or PROSTITUTION?

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According to Strong's Greek concordance, which you linked, πορνεία indicates sexual idolatry within the context of Revelation 14:8; Revelation 17:2, 4; Revelation 18:3; Revelation 19:2, and John 8:41.


Also according to Strong's Greek Concordance, πορνεία indicates fornication, i.e. sex outside of marriage, within the context of Acts 15:20, 29; Acts 21:25; 1 Corinthians 6:13, 18; Romans 1:29; 1 Corinthians 5:1; 1 Corinthians 7:2; 2 Corinthians 12:21; Ephesians 5:3; Colossians 3:5; 1 Thessalonians 4:3; and Revelation 9:21. Guess what these speak of?

Need I continue?

Mrj said:

My boyfriend and I have been together for over 4 years now. We both want to get married however we want to wait to become more financially stable before making things official. We are both still in college and want to move in together (with other friends as well) but we don't know if it's the right thing to do. Does it make a difference with moving in with someone whom you know you are going to marry, but not yet married? Also, is that really a reason to wait to get married? Or should it really be whether or not you love each other in a god centered relationship, and other things shouldn't matter because you'll figure it out together?

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Cohabitating = bad idea. Reasons (warning I'm a blunt person):

1) God and all the biblical reasons people have already quoted you.
2) If you're trying to wait until marriage to have sex (which is biblical), moving in together is a death sentence for any of those efforts.
3) If you and he is not meant to be, living together now will make it so much harder to call it off.
4) If you and he is truly meant to be and it's what you want, then pre-marriage moving in together is horrible for the relationship because you still hold part of yourself back.
5) If you want to get married, it is much harder to do so after you move in because life gets busy and so many people never actually do it.

If you love this man, and he loves you, then say "I do" and commit yourself 100% to the relationship. Don't buy into the "we need to try it out" lies which treat you're partner like he's a pair of shoes at the store.

As to finances: two un-married people eat the same amount of groceries as two married people.

Hi Jane_Doe, excellent post and (seeing that you are still pretty new here), WELCOME TO CF ..

Yes, because
1) when you get married, he cant carry you over the threshold if you already hopped over it yourself
2) the delights of your honeymoon will be wasted as you already saw him in the bedroom
3)nobody would bother giving you any wedding presents for your new home if you already moved in together
4) why would you want to go flatting with other ppl when its better to wait to be married in in your own home?!
5) why arent you engaged. is he too cheap and ashamed of you to declare you his intended?

Ask God and prove to him you are really christian in this matter. Heathens move in together, christians wait and do the right thing honoring God.

SinnerInTheHands said:

I have a Calvinist friend in Uni who said with his former girlfriend they slept together [i.e. no sexual relations, literally just sleep]. Seemed awfully dangerous to me.

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Oh yes, we just can't help ourselves. We really should start putting veils on our women because we just want to ravage our partners so bad.

Goodbook said:

Ask God and prove to him you are really christian in this matter. Heathens move in together, christians wait and do the right thing honoring God.

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And then get divorced!!!!

Seriously - have lots and lots of protected premarital sex. At least you only hurt yourselves. Don't think for a second that God is okay with two people having sex, having kids, getting divorced, and screwing up their kids.

Do not give up your honor for expedience. Moving in together only makes things more convenient to make things even more convenient. You are talking about placing yourself into a position where just a little while longer might just become a great deal longer and then 20 becomes 30. If you are not ready to start a family, then you are not ready to be in the same house, because your perspective and your options will be far more limited.

Do not trap yourself in a situation where it's easier to be easier on your values, lest you loose them all and end up with nothing. Money is one thing, but no matter how much you save you can never purchase your dignity back. You can only scavenge what remains once poor choices have ripped it from you and into shreds.

stray bullet said:

Oh yes, we just can't help ourselves.

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Premarital sex remains sinful, regardless of whether or not you view it as antiquated morality.

SinnerInTheHands said:

Premarital sex remains sinful, regardless of whether or not you view it as antiquated morality.

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That had nothing to do with my post.

stray bullet said:

That had nothing to do with my post.

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Yes it did. By associating complete chastity with veiling women, you equate it to a form of antiquated morality. I'm reinforcing the fact that it is not.

SinnerInTheHands said:

Yes it did. By associating complete chastity with veiling women, you equate it to a form of antiquated morality. I'm reinforcing the fact that it is not.

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No, the assertion that somehow spending the night in a bed with a woman is going to result in sex.

That's absolute nonsense.

stray bullet said:

No, the assertion that somehow spending the night in a bed with a woman is going to result in sex.

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Not just any woman, but a girlfriend. If you sleep in the same bed night after night after night with your girlfriend, you'd have to be naïve to believe that sex would not eventually ensue.

Mrj said:

My boyfriend and I have been together for over 4 years now. We both want to get married however we want to wait to become more financially stable before making things official. We are both still in college and want to move in together (with other friends as well) but we don't know if it's the right thing to do. Does it make a difference with moving in with someone whom you know you are going to marry, but not yet married? Also, is that really a reason to wait to get married? Or should it really be whether or not you love each other in a god centered relationship, and other things shouldn't matter because you'll figure it out together?

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It's a dumb idea to live as a couple with other non-couples.

SinnerInTheHands said:

I have a Calvinist friend in Uni who said with his former girlfriend they slept together [i.e. no sexual relations, literally just sleep]. Seemed awfully dangerous to me.

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I've slept in the same bed with my girlfriend several times, and really had no increased temptation. Granted, it was usually instances in someone else's bed or in a hotel room with other people. We cuddled, sure, but it really wasn't that tempting.

On a practicle note...

if you can afford to live together with friends, why can't you afford to be married and live together with those same friends? This is something I never understood about cohabitation. If you love the person enough to live with them, why not be married?

If it's the wedding ceremony cost that is holding up the union before God, then you need to consider what is most important, a fancy wedding or a clear conscience.

On the concept of not living together because it will increase the likelihood of sin, I think that is hogwash. People who are too weak to not have sex are going to do it whether they live together or not. To mean, moving in together isn't the issue in regard to sexual purity, but rather how much self control do they have.

In my past I had sex with my then fiance almost every time I saw him. We didn't live together, but there was much sin. We married and divorced. Now I am in a 7 year long romance with a man. He and I talk about getting married when the timing is right (he's a businessman working out of state, and I'm raising children from my previous marriage). We have not had sex and plan to not have sex until we are married.

I think it comes down to maturity, life experience, goals and self-discipline.