Purity

No, not really, I'm not so comfortable with those things.

No.

I have one it was a chosen gift ie. my aunt said to pick something from this christian jewellery company for my birthday and I have lots of crosses and I didn't want to pick something too expensive so I picked a purity ring. I sometimes wear it but half the time I can't remember where I've put it...

I want one! I'm a 19 year old Virgin, and I'm happy to admit that

purplepride said:

I have been wearing a purity ring since I was 15, do any of you girls wear one?

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Heck no, not my type of thing...

No, and while I don't oppose abstinence at all, I do oppose purity rings.

poeticlurker said:

No, and while I don't oppose abstinence at all, I do oppose purity rings.

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Do you mind if I ask why? I'm not sure how I feel about them, but I'd like to hear some opinions

kaatieed said:

Do you mind if I ask why? I'm not sure how I feel about them, but I'd like to hear some opinions

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I think purity rings make a mockery of wedding rings and thus marriage, and force wearers to think about marriage way too early. It promotes a sort of fairy tale that if you wait to have sex until marriage, you will have the perfect marriage. That is not true. That sort of pressure to be abstinent encourages people who have had sex to either lie about their pasts, or ignore serious health issues they might have had from STDs. This is always primarily directed toward young people, and instead of telling young people how to protect themselves (even married couples should use condoms!) it's "no sex at all until marriage". And then the newlywed virgins realize marriage is too difficult because of that fairy tale. It turns teenage girls into princess brides. Purity rings are part of the abstinence-only movement that has been shown time and time again to outright ignore human biology and present gender stereotypes as fact, and has not improved teen pregnancy rates one bit, in fact some studies have shown that it's RAISED teen pregnancy rates in some areas and slowed progress in others (and it's raised STD rates). teens are curious about sex and will have some sort of sexual activity. It's stupid to ignore that for the sake of a fairy tale that tells you that once you get married, your partner will never cheat on you and sex will be enjoyable. Sex for many people isn't all that great the first time. Husbands and wives cheat. Rather than give you proper relationship guidance, the movement simply says "no sexual contact until marriage" so nobody knows what to do when a marriage or regular relationship suddenly turns sour. On the other hand, many comprehensive sex-ed courses don't present gender stereotypes as fact, draw from credible sources such as the CDC (abstinence-only cherry-picks from outdated data, or data that only supports abstinence-- if it's not outright made up), and actually teaches about healthy communication between partners.

If that's not true, then it's purely to show off how superior you are to all of the [bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse], skanky, filthy non-wearers. It's not about representing your beliefs. It's about showing off. All jewellry is made to attract attention, and it's frankly disgusting for anyone, especially young girls, to wear their sex lives where everyone can see it.

I'll probably get a lot of flames for this, but I still have just one question: where in the Bible does it say to make this big a deal of purity and virginity? Where does it say to proudly wear it on your ring finger? In my opinion the church makes way too big a deal of virginity and this completely backwards idea of sexual purity that ignores how God created us, and to see a church not just supporting but encouraging purity rings disgusts me.

poeticlurker said:

I think purity rings make a mockery of wedding rings and thus marriage, and force wearers to think about marriage way too early.

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That's an interesting thought! I've never looked at it that way, and I think you have a point there. I think the 'purity cult' almost idolises marriage, and it's all girls are taught to prepare for. I think very highly of marriage, but it's foolhardy to spend all your energies waiting for something that isn't guaranteed to happen. It's good to prepare, but I think girls (and guys) should live their lives as well.

If that's not true, then it's purely to show off how superior you are to all of the [bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse], skanky, filthy non-wearers. It's not about representing your beliefs. It's about showing off. All jewellry is made to attract attention, and it's frankly disgusting for anyone, especially young girls, to wear their sex lives where everyone can see it.

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Now here I definitely agree with you. I'm sure most of the people who wear purity rings will object wildly, and I don't think self-righteousness happens intentionally, so let's not be too hard on them. As I Christian, I follow the morality laid out in the Bible, but it is so easy to become self-righteous when I see others behaving differently...not a Christian attitude at all! I think purity rings are a bit tacky. As a Christian believing sex is for marriage should be (it isn't always) a given, and it...I don't know how to put this thing into words, but I just think it would be a little weird to display something like that on my finger. What I do with my body is between me and God, not between me and the world.

I'll probably get a lot of flames for this, but I still have just one question: where in the Bible does it say to make this big a deal of purity and virginity? Where does it say to proudly wear it on your ring finger? In my opinion the church makes way too big a deal of virginity and this completely backwards idea of sexual purity that ignores how God created us, and to see a church not just supporting but encouraging purity rings disgusts me.

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Are you saying Christians should hold to abstinence, or that they shouldn't make war about it? The Bible does say the marriage bed should be kept pure, Christians should refrain for lust, sexual immorality, adultery etc. It says nothing about displaying our virginity for the world to see. One of the problems I have with purity rings is that they are often a thing given by the father to the daughter. If a girl is determined to maintain pure, that's between her and God, not for her to be accountable to her father.

And here I was ready to fight fire with fire.

liesje said:

Are you saying Christians should hold to abstinence, or that they shouldn't make war about it? The Bible does say the marriage bed should be kept pure, Christians should refrain for lust, sexual immorality, adultery etc. It says nothing about displaying our virginity for the world to see.

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I'm saying that it seems, being outside of the church for several years now, that churches have turned their focus to sexual purity and control of women's sexuality. Every time I hear something out of the church it's about gays, teen pregnancy, or abortion and it's always saying something that's ignoring reality. Yes, I believe in science, and yes, the Bible and science do contradict each other- but I see no reason why Christians can't accept what science says about early sexual maturity, or homosexuality (though abortion I can understand, though I don't believe the Bible supports a pro-life position). It's how God created us.

One of the problems I have with purity rings is that they are often a thing given by the father to the daughter. If a girl is determined to maintain pure, that's between her and God, not for her to be accountable to her father.

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Ugh, I forgot all about that part. Probably because my father never gave one to me. I think that's disgusting and implies that the girl's sexuality is not her own, but is something a (very very creepy) father passes on to his son-in-law.

And don't even get me started on purity balls... that's even creepier.

poeticlurker said:

And here I was ready to fight fire with fire.

I'm saying that it seems, being outside of the church for several years now, that churches have turned their focus to sexual purity and control of women's sexuality. Every time I hear something out of the church it's about gays, teen pregnancy, or abortion and it's always saying something that's ignoring reality. Yes, I believe in science, and yes, the Bible and science do contradict each other- but I see no reason why Christians can't accept what science says about early sexual maturity, or homosexuality (though abortion I can understand, though I don't believe the Bible supports a pro-life position). It's how God created us.


Ugh, I forgot all about that part. Probably because my father never gave one to me. I think that's disgusting and implies that the girl's sexuality is not her own, but is something a (very very creepy) father passes on to his son-in-law.

And don't even get me started on purity balls... that's even creepier.

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Perhaps sexual purity is too big a focus of many churches but it can't be avoided either. I'm not sure I agree with the part about the Bible and sexual maturity, but I'm not going to start a fire.

As for purity balls...

liesje said:

Perhaps sexual purity is too big a focus of many churches but it can't be avoided either. I'm not sure I agree with the part about the Bible and sexual maturity, but I'm not going to start a fire.

As for purity balls...

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Sexual purity is entirely up to the person who's being sexually pure. I won't start a fire either over whether or not it's still relevant (for some it really should be...) but perhaps I was a bit misleading about the part about sexual maturity. in Biblical times girls were married off as soon as they had their periods, anywhere from age 10 to age 16 (likely later, thanks to poor health care and life expectancy, oddly enough). The trend pretty much continued in many areas, though at least after the Middle Ages the marrying age was generally somewhere between 15 and 21. It wasn't until the last few decades that most women waited until 30 or so to get married, but puberty is now coming earlier, with girls becoming sexually mature around 13 or 14 (though not necessarily even *physically* mature, let alone emotionally or socially mature). I think it's a bit unreasonable to expect virginity until the age of 30, though that's me. Unfortunately the only solutions are to have sex before marriage, or marry very early.

And I'm hoping for your sake you didn't google "purity balls". oh dear heaven if that's the first you've heard of it... I am so so sorry.

poeticlurker said:

Sexual purity is entirely up to the person who's being sexually pure. I won't start a fire either over whether or not it's still relevant (for some it really should be...) but perhaps I was a bit misleading about the part about sexual maturity. in Biblical times girls were married off as soon as they had their periods, anywhere from age 10 to age 16 (likely later, thanks to poor health care and life expectancy, oddly enough). The trend pretty much continued in many areas, though at least after the Middle Ages the marrying age was generally somewhere between 15 and 21. It wasn't until the last few decades that most women waited until 30 or so to get married, but puberty is now coming earlier, with girls becoming sexually mature around 13 or 14 (though not necessarily even *physically* mature, let alone emotionally or socially mature). I think it's a bit unreasonable to expect virginity until the age of 30, though that's me. Unfortunately the only solutions are to have sex before marriage, or marry very early.

And I'm hoping for your sake you didn't google "purity balls". oh dear heaven if that's the first you've heard of it... I am so so sorry.

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Girls do mature sexually at a young age, but I'm willing to be that in Bible times young girls were one hang of a lot more mature in every area than they are today. While girls may be sexually mature at a young age today, they are not nearly ready to be married at that age. The other solution would be to train girls to be mature in these areas too, and then getting married younger would be a more viable option. ETA: Not saying age 13-14 :o more like late teens early 20s.

I had heard the term purity ball but never googled it before. I just did

purplepride said:

I have been wearing a purity ring since I was 15, do any of you girls wear one?

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I bought really cheap one from Icing when I was 15 and when my birthday came around I was shocked to find a real silver and diamond one from my dad. I was completely ecstatic (even though it was to big) until a few months later it fell off in a bathroom while I was at a basketball game. That was the single saddest moment in my life (okay maybe I'm a drama queen). But by my next birthday my amazing daddy bought me a new one accompanied with a life time warranty. I absolutely love wearing it!

My nitpick with purity rings and purity balls is that it is all aimed at girls. I grew up in church and as far as I remember there was nothing aimed at boys for them to remain sexually pure. Sometimes one line is said as a throw away to make it seem as if the boys were included in this but all the focus is on the girls. Then if premarital sex does occur the responsibility all falls on the girl.

I have a purity ring, and I wear it proudly. It's on my finger almost everyday.