I need everyone's prayers

acdcfan19 said:

my anxiety is up again and I don't know what to do. every time something good happens to me, my anxiety always destroys it. i really want to die right now but i can't because i love my parents too much but I'm hurting so bad right now and they don't even care. i can't kill myself but i can hurt myself and i don't want to do that so i need prayers to get better. i also don't know if I'm a Christian. I've repented dozens of times but nothing happened because a true Christian would know if they're Christian and can give a straight answer unlike me, i can't even tell you if I'm going to heaven but i have this scary feeling that I'm not Christian. i need god to convict me of sin right now so i can repent but he won't. could you pray that god convicts me of sin? he's all i have right now and if he doesn't want me then why should i live? repenting doesn't work without god convicting me so i need him to convict me so he can make me better. i know he hears and answers a sinners prayer/prayer of the unsaved but i want to be Christian so it can be answered quicker and so i won't go to hell. how can i convince god into convicting me of sin so i can repent correctly?

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I'm so glad that I found your post. There is so much I'd like to help you with.

First.... forget conviction. Stop thinking about that. We are accountable for everything we say and do. But conviction is an end result and it's NOT what you think. Neither is servitude to god. What we think of as servitude immediately evokes all the methods of man. Servitude to men is in many ways slavery. Because men have a fallen heart. From the beginning your nature is corrupt. It is balanced. All men have both the love of god and the results of the fall. We lie we cheat we steal we believe we're better than everybody else and have a right to tell anyone anywhere what to do because WE are special lol. The nature of man and his individual sin is unique. It's par of what defines a person. And more so.... their personal struggle.

But this is not god. God is without sin. God sent Jesus as the greatest example of his nature. Jesus was the lamb. He told people of the reality of their sin. Sin is death. It is spiritual death. But from the old testament onward.... god told us he was going to "write his law on their hearts and remember their sins no more." That was Jesus. When they cut off John the Baptists head Jesus went out and healed people because it's all he knew to do. He was pure and innocent. And image a father.... a god.... leading these people for generations..... trying to teach them and they kept going their own ways because they were men. Imagine this struggle. And now consider the nature of your lord god considering the fact he "so loved the world he gave his only son." He gave another adam. He gave a purely innocent man full of nothing but the purest things. Jesus still became angry at times. But so did god. And it was primarily mans twisted cruelty.

Anyways stop convicting yourself. And go into your night every night and pray. When you pray to the lord tell him of who you are and what you want. Tell god about your disbelief. Tell him of your desire to know him. And I believe that he will reveal something very special to you. The moment in your life when you stop guessing.... you stop thinking of religion as a set of ideas.... and meet god..... is really special. You are not whatever drudge of the Earth you call yourself. God knows every hair on your head. He knows you as you were made. But you have lived in a corrupt world and gone your own way. You've forgotten about him. He put it into the heart of everyone. We all wonder for a reason. Eve now with society advancing into new realms people still feel it. There is a reason. I tell you that I believe if you pray to the lord and you do so honestly.... and with a degree of humility..... the lord will speak back. You may not hear it. But you'll feel it. And you'll know.

Good luck my friend. God Bless you. I was not always a Christian. One day a men laid his hands on me and prayed. I took it as a kindness and nothing else. But as Jesus lifted his head when John baptized him and the spirit of god...... entered him.... it will do the same for you. God is good. And God is trustworthy. Good luck. I hope you find him.

BTW... sorry..... to adress your specific problem of anxiety.

I cannot imagine what that's like. In my own life I've been able to ease anxiety through jogging. Mental discipline techniques like meditation can help. And of course prayer has gone a long way. I often fine myself tearing down my own life. The lord often intervenes and helps. As men we constantly crash and burn. But if you love god you'll always find yourself better off. I'm very sorry your anxiety issues are extreme. Whenever a problem is that strong.... it will take multiple approaches to contain it. It's a process. And it's part of life. But have faith. Have confidence. God created you are more than just a failure. God created the whole universe lol. And god loves you. We wants you to love him. Through that maybe you'll find things to help. Perhaps meditation. Perhaps diet. Perhaps a lot of things. But I hope you overcome and live your life in peace.

God bless.

praying for you, dear

Praying you get the support and treatment needed for your strength, hope, and healing.
Here are some Hotlines for you when you are in crisis.
You may also get support in these forums: Recovery and Mental Health.
May God bless you in His Merciful Love

Hi acdc fan,
I am moving your thread to a place where some of these tough questions can be answered.

acdcfan19 said:

My anxiety is up again and I don't know what to do. every time something good happens to me, my anxiety always destroys it. i really want to die right now but i can't because i love my parents too much but I'm hurting so bad right now and they don't even care. i can't kill myself but i can hurt myself and i don't want to do that so i need prayers to get better. i also don't know if I'm a Christian. I've repented dozens of times but nothing happened because a true Christian would know if they're Christian and can give a straight answer unlike me, i can't even tell you if I'm going to heaven but i have this scary feeling that I'm not Christian. i need god to convict me of sin right now so i can repent but he won't. could you pray that god convicts me of sin? he's all i have right now and if he doesn't want me then why should i live? repenting doesn't work without god convicting me so i need him to convict me so he can make me better. i know he hears and answers a sinners prayer/prayer of the unsaved but i want to be Christian so it can be answered quicker and so i won't go to hell. how can i convince god into convicting me of sin so i can repent correctly?

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Hello,

My name is David and I'm a CF Chaplain. I saw your post and wanted to reply to you. Sometimes we think that being convicted of sin or anything else for that matter should be an earth shattering, Moses up on the mountain experience. What I've found is that many times and I think in your case, it isn't so dramatic. The largest conviction being your stopping the sin. Not sinning in and of itself shows the largest conviction of all.

Should you slip or sin again, go back to not sinning and just ask the Lord for forgiveness. He will forgive you. Internalize the following verse and use it when you need to:

"If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness." (1 John 1:9) http://biblehub.com/1_john/1-9.htm

I understand that you're hurting right now. Is there a counselor or pastor you can go to and talk about your troubles? I've done this in the past and it's helped me.

I will pray for you and I welcome you to write in to the Ask a Chaplain Forum should you want further advice from a CF Chaplain. It's completely confidential.

Faithfully,

You said you want God to convict you of your sin. You already know that you have sin, that is conviction. What you need is to know that God loves you and has a good plan for you. He is interested in you as a person, he wants you blessed. At the moment your life is confusing but God has good ahead for you. As for your sins, just do your best to stop them, God will do the rest. If you fail don't beat your self over the head, just know God is giving you chance and change again to change. Jesus forgiveness is endless, he forgive the same way he asks us to:

Mat 18:21-22 Then came Peter to him, and said, Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? till seven times? Jesus saith unto him, I say not unto thee, Until seven times: but, Until seventy times seven.

If you need any help let me know and I can have a private chat through the messaging system on this site.