Jesus is the worst decision I ever made.

[Xavier Cane]

I stopped trusting Jesus. Why? because it was a bad choice, the worst choice I ever made.
33 now, I made the choice to follow Jesus when I was 15, and I have done so with passion. But my passion is dead, I cannot wait any longer for God to do what he said...break the power of sin in my life. I did everything I was supposed to do, but god did not. I cannot even say god with a capital G anymore, I refuse to.

I doubt Gods love, and since the age of 15 I have tried my best to seek him in every decision I made, and here I am, don't even know what the holy spirit leading is, and I swear to god, I fast often for that main purpose - to be more sensitive to the leading and guiding of the holy spirit...all to no avail.

My life has no true purpose. They say you find your purpose in Jesus, well, that a lie, because this jesus has not given me any purpose. All the things I wanted to do for him, I no longer want to do, because I am still bound by sin in every way imaginable. I do not know what else to do, and I have tried everything inside the bible, and some things outside of the bible. That's how I know that trusting the bible to be real and following jesus were the worse things I ever did. Because jesus of the bible was a deliverer, but to this day, I have found no deliverance from that man.

I openly confessed him and trusted him, and now I am rejecting the thought of him. They say the closer you get to him, the more like him you will become, well, I do not want to be close to god anymore. When I tried to get close, and I did try, but I only hated life more and found less joy a meaningfulness in life. It's sad too because I have a wife and children who I preach Christ to adamantly (not like a preacher), and try to lead in a goldy example. But it's just not working. So I'm done trying.

I just needed to vent.

 

[mozo41]

Do not think that I came to bring peace to the earth; I came not to bring peace, but a sword.

Do you think that I came to give peace on the earth? No, I say to you, but rather division.

 

[ToBeLoved]

I stopped trusting Jesus. Why? because it was a bad choice, the worst choice I ever made.
33 now, I made the choice to follow Jesus when I was 15, and I have done so with passion. But my passion is dead, I cannot wait any longer for God to do what he said...break the power of sin in my life. I did everything I was supposed to do, but god did not. I cannot even say god with a capital G anymore, I refuse to.

I doubt Gods love, and since the age of 15 I have tried my best to seek him in every decision I made, and here I am, don't even know what the holy spirit leading is, and I swear to god, I fast often for that main purpose - to be more sensitive to the leading and guiding of the holy spirit...all to no avail.

My life has no true purpose. They say you find your purpose in Jesus, well, that a lie, because this jesus has not given me any purpose. All the things I wanted to do for him, I no longer want to do, because I am still bound by sin in every way imaginable. I do not know what else to do, and I have tried everything inside the bible, and some things outside of the bible. That's how I know that trusting the bible to be real and following jesus were the worse things I ever did. Because jesus of the bible was a deliverer, but to this day, I have found no deliverance from that man.

I openly confessed him and trusted him, and now I am rejecting the thought of him. They say the closer you get to him, the more like him you will become, well, I do not want to be close to god anymore. When I tried to get close, and I did try, but I only hated life more and found less joy a meaningfulness in life. It's sad too because I have a wife and children who I preach Christ to adamantly (not like a preacher), and try to lead in a goldy example. But it's just not working. So I'm done trying.

I just needed to vent.

What exactly does “break the power of sin in my life” mean?

Maybe that to you means perfection. People get burnt out trying to be perfect.

What role has God played in your life or have you been going it alone?

Maybe you should look and see if you are expecting something of God He never said.

 

[Xavier Cane]

What exactly does “break the power of sin in my life” mean?

Maybe that to you means perfection.

to me it means that the power of the sinful nature is broken and no longer has power over the believer.
This is supposed to happen the moment one makes Jesus their Lord. So they say, but it does not.

 

[Sanoy]

Who has deceived you into thinking you have to overcome sin? Our trust in Jesus is not that he will make us stop sinning, but our sinning will not kill us.

Faith is trust in God's promise to save us from our sins. Where is your faith if you can trust in your own ability? How will your faith grow if you are made perfect in the flesh? Use your failure's to learn to trust in God's grace, not your ability. You lost your faith when you began to think it mattered against your salvation that you sinned. What was gained without moral perfection is not lost in moral imperfection. I will not pray for moral perfection as long as my imperfections draw me to greater faith in my savior.

Please read through romans, or at least chapter 7. It is essential to understand your situation here on earth.

"
For I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate. 16Now if I do what I do not want, I agree with the law, that it is good. 17So now it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me. 18For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh. For I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out. 19For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep on doing. 20Now if I do what I do not want, it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me.

21So I find it to be a law that when I want to do right, evil lies close at hand.22For I delight in the law of God, in my inner being, 23but I see in my members another law waging war against the law of my mind and making me captive to the law of sin that dwells in my members. 24Wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death? 25Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord! So then, I myself serve the law of God with my mind, but with my flesh I serve the law of sin."

 

[Willie T]

All I have to say is "Shame on you for wishing the same fate for your wife and children."

 

[Apologetic_Warrior]

I stopped trusting Jesus. Why? because it was a bad choice, the worst choice I ever made. 33 now, I made the choice to follow Jesus when I was 15, and I have done so with passion. But my passion is dead, I cannot wait any longer for God to do what he said...break the power of sin in my life. I did everything I was supposed to do, but god did not. I cannot even say god with a capital G anymore, I refuse to.

I doubt Gods love, and since the age of 15 I have tried my best to seek him in every decision I made, and here I am, don't even know what the holy spirit leading is, and I swear to god, I fast often for that main purpose - to be more sensitive to the leading and guiding of the holy spirit...all to no avail.

My life has no true purpose. They say you find your purpose in Jesus, well, that a lie, because this jesus has not given me any purpose. All the things I wanted to do for him, I no longer want to do, because I am still bound by sin in every way imaginable. I do not know what else to do, and I have tried everything inside the bible, and some things outside of the bible. That's how I know that trusting the bible to be real and following jesus were the worse things I ever did. Because jesus of the bible was a deliverer, but to this day, I have found no deliverance from that man.

I openly confessed him and trusted him, and now I am rejecting the thought of him. They say the closer you get to him, the more like him you will become, well, I do not want to be close to god anymore. When I tried to get close, and I did try, but I only hated life more and found less joy a meaningfulness in life. It's sad too because I have a wife and children who I preach Christ to adamantly (not like a preacher), and try to lead in a goldy example. But it's just not working. So I'm done trying.

I just needed to vent.

I hope and pray you learn what mercy and grace is all about, because it reads alot like trying through your own efforts, and our efforts always fall short. May the goodness and providence of God preserve you in unfaithfulness while the faithfulness of God keeps you. May your family become an encouragement, may you be humbled and kind listening to them despite how you feel about Jesus at this time.

 

[W2L]

to me it means that the power of the sinful nature is broken and no longer has power over the believer.
This is supposed to happen the moment one makes Jesus their Lord. So they say, but it does not.

I struggle with sin at times. That's exactly why i dont give up on the Lord. As imperfect as i am i want to live, so my hope rests in Christ alone. No matter how bad i fail, i will keep the faith because He is the only Hope i have. It sure wont make life any worse, and the thought of love captures my heart.

 

[Halbhh]

I stopped trusting Jesus. Why? because it was a bad choice, the worst choice I ever made.
33 now, I made the choice to follow Jesus when I was 15, and I have done so with passion. But my passion is dead, I cannot wait any longer for God to do what he said...break the power of sin in my life. I did everything I was supposed to do, but god did not. I cannot even say god with a capital G anymore, I refuse to.

I doubt Gods love, and since the age of 15 I have tried my best to seek him in every decision I made, and here I am, don't even know what the holy spirit leading is, and I swear to god, I fast often for that main purpose - to be more sensitive to the leading and guiding of the holy spirit...all to no avail.

My life has no true purpose. They say you find your purpose in Jesus, well, that a lie, because this jesus has not given me any purpose. All the things I wanted to do for him, I no longer want to do, because I am still bound by sin in every way imaginable. I do not know what else to do, and I have tried everything inside the bible, and some things outside of the bible. That's how I know that trusting the bible to be real and following jesus were the worse things I ever did. Because jesus of the bible was a deliverer, but to this day, I have found no deliverance from that man.

I openly confessed him and trusted him, and now I am rejecting the thought of him. They say the closer you get to him, the more like him you will become, well, I do not want to be close to god anymore. When I tried to get close, and I did try, but I only hated life more and found less joy a meaningfulness in life. It's sad too because I have a wife and children who I preach Christ to adamantly (not like a preacher), and try to lead in a goldy example. But it's just not working. So I'm done trying.

I just needed to vent.

How many even know the 6 most key instructions Christ gave on how to pray?

Most people know perhaps 0, 1 or sometimes 2 of His instructions about prayer, and suffer from lacking the rest.

How many have actually done "everything" Christ said to do? --

"Love your enemy"
"Love your neighbor as yourself"
"Love one another as I have loved you"
"Forgive...seventy times seven times."
"...forgive your brother or sister from your heart."
"So in everything, do to others as you would have them do to you"

But what if you even did most of these well and fully for most all of the time for an entire week without significant not-doing them minutes (like when a neighbor you don't like much is on the sidewalk, and it's easier to just ignore them)?

What would it be like to actually do "everything" Christ said to do?

We don't know do we in our 20s (and very very few in their 30s)?

It would be very radical to really try -- it would turn the typical life of a person up side down.

To even try well, and also pray everyday as He said to pray -- that would be life altering.

Just because we haven't really in our young adulthood, doesn't mean we could not take a leap of faith and actually try some day, to do "everything" just as He said.

To actually be friendly to that neighbor or coworker or clerk you don't like.

To actually forgive that old grievance you hold against someone from long ago.

To actually love a someone that truly harmed or disrespected you (not even possible for long without divine aid I think).

What would it be like to "try everything"?

I think it's a good start to truly do the Greatest Commandment as Christ named it with a total "all of your strength" for half an hour (not half a minute, but half an hour or more). With all of your heart. And all of your soul.

What would that be like?

 

[GodsGrace101]

I stopped trusting Jesus. Why? because it was a bad choice, the worst choice I ever made.
33 now, I made the choice to follow Jesus when I was 15, and I have done so with passion. But my passion is dead, I cannot wait any longer for God to do what he said...break the power of sin in my life. I did everything I was supposed to do, but god did not. I cannot even say god with a capital G anymore, I refuse to.

I doubt Gods love, and since the age of 15 I have tried my best to seek him in every decision I made, and here I am, don't even know what the holy spirit leading is, and I swear to god, I fast often for that main purpose - to be more sensitive to the leading and guiding of the holy spirit...all to no avail.

My life has no true purpose. They say you find your purpose in Jesus, well, that a lie, because this jesus has not given me any purpose. All the things I wanted to do for him, I no longer want to do, because I am still bound by sin in every way imaginable. I do not know what else to do, and I have tried everything inside the bible, and some things outside of the bible. That's how I know that trusting the bible to be real and following jesus were the worse things I ever did. Because jesus of the bible was a deliverer, but to this day, I have found no deliverance from that man.

I openly confessed him and trusted him, and now I am rejecting the thought of him. They say the closer you get to him, the more like him you will become, well, I do not want to be close to god anymore. When I tried to get close, and I did try, but I only hated life more and found less joy a meaningfulness in life. It's sad too because I have a wife and children who I preach Christ to adamantly (not like a preacher), and try to lead in a goldy example. But it's just not working. So I'm done trying.

I just needed to vent.

Jesus is not a magic trick.
He doesn't DELIVER things to you.
He is the light of God.
You follow Him and your life works out better.
It's not a big mystery.

All He promised was to make your burden lighter and to get you to heaven if you follow Him.

There's not too much we really understand about this life.
All I know for sure is that when we die there's a bad place we could go to or a good place we could go to.

I'm all for going to the good place.
When we get there, we'll understand everything.

 

[Dave G.]

His time is not our time. He could well be waiting for you to raise your family, He could even be pulling the strings to make that happen and you want to walk away? In this you cut your blessing off. No this is all about self interest, it has nothing to do with serving God. Maybe once your family is raised and if you find your trust in Him and learn of His nature He might then use you for His purposes.

Incidentally God doesn't need you to select things to do for Him, He is the creator of everything and you think you can do something to help Him ? He spoke the world into existence, He breathed life into man. He is in charge of everything, He knows the number of hairs on your head, He knows when life on earth will end, even when earth itself will end. He flourishes good and restrains evil. Listen if He wants something of you, you won't miss the message He gives you to go do it. This is just a suggestion, why don't you try living life freely in Him and just trust Him. You and your family need God. Without God then your ruler becomes Satan because there are only two spiritual powers , the God of the universe and of the Bible and then there is the prince of the power of the air ( Satan)..

 

[Xavier Cane]

Who has deceived you into thinking you have to overcome sin? Our trust in Jesus is not that he will make us stop sinning, but our sinning will not kill us.

Faith is trust in God's promise to save us from our sins. Where is your faith if you can trust in your own ability? How will your faith grow if you are made perfect in the flesh? Use your failure's to learn to trust in God's grace, not your ability. You lost your faith when you began to think it mattered against your salvation that you sinned. What was gained without moral perfection is not lost in moral imperfection. I will not pray for moral perfection as long as my imperfections draw me to greater faith in my savior.

Please read through romans, or at least chapter 7. It is essential to understand your situation here on earth.

"
For I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate. 16Now if I do what I do not want, I agree with the law, that it is good. 17So now it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me. 18For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh. For I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out. 19For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep on doing. 20Now if I do what I do not want, it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me.

21So I find it to be a law that when I want to do right, evil lies close at hand.22For I delight in the law of God, in my inner being, 23but I see in my members another law waging war against the law of my mind and making me captive to the law of sin that dwells in my members. 24Wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death? 25Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord! So then, I myself serve the law of God with my mind, but with my flesh I serve the law of sin."

my imperfections do not draw me to greater faith, it makes me doubt god all together. All I want is to be free from things like drugs, lust, depression, hate, anger, jealousy, things like that... so, thanks, but it is what it is. I have read Romans Chapter 7 many times, but I am still a slave to my sin...and in every wayy

 

[Xavier Cane]

Jesus is not a magic trick.
He doesn't DELIVER things to you.
He is the light of God.
You follow Him and your life works out better.
It's not a big mystery.

.

Well, I followed Jesus and my life has not worked out better. Thanks.

 

[Dave G.]

to me it means that the power of the sinful nature is broken and no longer has power over the believer.
This is supposed to happen the moment one makes Jesus their Lord. So they say, but it does not.

If you sin it knocks you down. So get up and walk again in another direction, just keep on going. Acknowledge to God that He is right , that indeed is sin. Agree with Him. We strive for perfection but our perfection is in the blood of Christ. As long as we are in these mortal bodies there will be sin but in Christ we recognize it as such and in Christ we have forgiveness.

 

[Xavier Cane]

His time is not our time. He could well be waiting for you to raise your family, He could even be pulling the strings to make that happen and you want to walk away? In this you cut your blessing off. No this is all about self interest, it has nothing to do with serving God. Maybe once your family is raised and if you find your trust in Him and learn of His nature He might then use you for His purposes.

Incidentally God doesn't need you to select things to do for Him, He is the creator of everything and you think you can do something to help Him ? He spoke the world into existence, He breathed life into man. He is in charge of everything, He knows the number of hairs on your head, He knows when life on earth will end, even when earth itself will end. He flourishes good and restrains evil. Listen if He wants something of you, you won't miss the message He gives you to go do it. This is just a suggestion, why don't you try living life freely in Him and just trust Him. You and your family need God. Without God then your ruler becomes Satan because there are only two spiritual powers , the God of the universe and of the Bible and then there is the prince of the power of the air ( Satan)..

I know god doesnt need my help, but he still is not on my team, and I'm not on his anymore. I'm not going to trust God for anything. I do not need him. I tried this for far too long, and it really makes me hate life. God gives no joy at all. But hey, I made the mistake in trusting some god. I wont do it again.

 

[Xavier Cane]

If you sin it knocks you down. So get up and walk again in another direction, just keep on going. Acknowledge to God that He is right , that indeed is sin. Agree with Him. We strive for perfection but our perfection is in the blood of Christ. As long as we are in these mortal bodies there will be sin but in Christ we recognize it as such and in Christ we have forgiveness.

That's my point. My lifestyle is a lifestyle of sin. I don't fall into sin, I have never been saved from it in the first place. All that acknowledge sin, yeah, did that too, and guess what...sin is still in control. Doesnt the bible say something like...no one who is born of god continues on in sin? Case and point.

 

[chevyontheriver]

I stopped trusting Jesus. Why? because it was a bad choice, the worst choice I ever made.

With a name like Xavier it looks like you may have been named after St. Francis Xavier. Is that the case? Are you at all connected to the Catholic faith it sounds like you started out in?

 

[Dave G.]

I know god doesnt need my help, but he still is not on my team, and I'm not on his anymore. I'm not going to trust God for anything. I do not need him. I tried this for far too long, and it really makes me hate life. God gives no joy at all. But hey, I made the mistake in trusting some god. I wont do it again.

Do you have any idea how foolish this sounds ? It's ridiculous actually.

 

[ToBeLoved]

to me it means that the power of the sinful nature is broken and no longer has power over the believer.
This is supposed to happen the moment one makes Jesus their Lord. So they say, but it does not.

But what does that actually mean to you?

For instance, I’ve heard many Christians share their testimonies. Some people right after they have been saved no longer want to or desire to do some of the sinful things they did before, while others in the short term do not find not sinning easier, but they do feel convicted of sin they commit.

So in these two completely different experiences who has overcome sin? And which one or both have had the power of sin broken in their lives?

I would say if the person no longer has the desire to sin they have received a gift from God, but have not overcome sin in their life in any major way because it wasn’t a struggle for them. They did not struggle or overcome.

Whereas the other person who is struggling being convicted and repenting and trying not to sin again is doing the harder work of obedience to God.

So that is why I’m asking you what that means and why you feel like you have failed.

God is not holding you to perfection, only to the daily stepping out in faith to try to overcome

 

[Xavier Cane]

With a name like Xavier it looks like you may have been named after St. Francis Xavier. Is that the case? Are you at all connected to the Catholic faith it sounds like you started out in?

I'm not catholic at all. My real name is Jeremiah. Xavier is only used on the net to hide my identity. And I have never been catholic.

 

[NothingIsImpossible]

I find people often get confused on what breaking free from sin means. I mean technically we "sin no more" once saved. However it doesn't mean we will ever be 100% free from screwing up. I still swear on very rare occasions when really mad. I still get tempted by porn online sometimes. True, since being saved I have improved drastically. But the reality is these vessels are weak. We will always battle messing up.

I'm not saying God cannot break the chains, nothing is impossible for Him. What I am saying though is the only person who lived a life and NEVER messed up once was Jesus. And we are not Jesus. Our christian walk will be full of mistakes and trials.

The problem here with you is you believe God is not on your team. But the fact is you gave up on God, not the other way around. Now you may rant and say "Can you prove that?". Yes I can. In life repetitive tedious things tend to get overlooked because they are natural and normal. So despite the constant blessings in our lives we often only notice the bad things that happen.

You woke up alive right? God gave you life! You have the internet. Maybe a home. Clothes. Some money....etc. These are things from God. If God truly hated someone, He could just literally take away everything and/or kill them. But He won't do that of course because that isn't what He does. Point being you are blessed more then you know.

As for him leading you. Maybe your not ready yet or Hes not ready yet. Or maybe you don't notice wheres Hes trying to lead you. Could be anything. Some people don't understand their purpose until later in life. I didn't understand mine until 30ish. I've seen people that don't fully see their until very late in life.

I used to be very negative, very mean, very VERYYYYYYY sinful in what I did as a christian. So Gods voice was silent. I blamed Him for this. It wasn't until later in life on this forum people finally got me to realize I was at fault and was to busy blaming God and everyone else and wanting pity. Is my life some perfect smiley happy go lucky kind life now? No, but its EXTREMELY better then it was.

As for saying what you wanted to do for Him. Maybe the problem is you were doing what you felt He wanted you to do instead of waiting for Him to tell you. Or maybe you were doing the wrong thing. To be fair maybe what your doing just hasn't fully developed yet. For example I can tell a atheist about Christ for years on end and I may see they never budge. But maybe 30 years from now they will have some trials and think back to me and put their faith in Christ. See. What I did mattered. I just will never know until I die and I am shown. Granted its only through Him that I can do anything of course.

In the end you have to accept you are not perfect and not blame God for that. I've talked to so many people in their 80s, 90s...etc who said they are still not perfect and they accept they will never be perfect until they are free from these bodies.