Okay, so let's start out from the top.
I am a 19 (almost 20) year old female who never grew up with anyone who was religious. Actually, most of my family & friends didn't like the thought of religion. I never really had given it much thought until a few years back when I was probably around, 17/18. I began to wonder a lot of things, like why do things happen for a reason; or what am I living this life for.
Now, I will be honest. I was a bad child/teen. Thinking about it now, I understand why my parents didn't let me do much. I was spoiled, and I never did as I was told. Keep in mind, though... I do have a few mental illnesses, which I know doesn't make up for the fact that I could have behaved better, but it was a little more difficult. Almost my whole life, I wasn't happy. I wanted that to change, but I was lazy and just sat by and watched everyone and everything change.
I grew apart from my best friends, I eventually dropped out of school, (and a whole lot of other bad things that I regret and wish I could take back). Now, my best friends have new best friends, and they all graduated, have jobs, and are doing so great in life. I am happy for them, more than anything. I do realize that at that time, I was a drag and I held them back from doing what they wanted. I hope that one day we will someday become friends again.
Here's the thing that really bothers me. My mom and I have had a terrible relationship for years. Until recently, I never realized how much of a trouble I was. One day, she decided to kick me out and I didn't say no, I didn't try to stop her. I didn't do anything because I knew that she and I both needed a break from each other. I am living at my dad's house currently, and I still wish I could take back all that I did and said to my mom. That is my biggest regret. I said so many horrible things to her and I just really hope that she will someday we start to become close one day.
That is where religion comes into place. Remember how I said that a few years back, I was curious about it? Well, now I know that I need it in my life. I need to believe and to change and do everything to be the better person I know I can be. Sure, I have wasted almost 20 years of my life, but I want to take it back and live right.
I mean, I have a wonderful boyfriend of 1 year and 4 months, and even to him, I am sometimes rude, and I feel so guilty about it. I need to stop thinking such mean thoughts and be positive.
Please excuse me if I seem a little clueless about anything.
but on a positive note:
I have my GED
I am taking a class to become a CNA (Nurses Assistant)
I've been happier than I have been in a long time!
I still stress, but at least I know that I can pull through it...
I would just appreciate any thought that anyone has.
I am a 19 (almost 20) year old female who never grew up with anyone who was religious. Actually, most of my family & friends didn't like the thought of religion. I never really had given it much thought until a few years back when I was probably around, 17/18. I began to wonder a lot of things, like why do things happen for a reason; or what am I living this life for.
Now, I will be honest. I was a bad child/teen. Thinking about it now, I understand why my parents didn't let me do much. I was spoiled, and I never did as I was told. Keep in mind, though... I do have a few mental illnesses, which I know doesn't make up for the fact that I could have behaved better, but it was a little more difficult. Almost my whole life, I wasn't happy. I wanted that to change, but I was lazy and just sat by and watched everyone and everything change.
I grew apart from my best friends, I eventually dropped out of school, (and a whole lot of other bad things that I regret and wish I could take back). Now, my best friends have new best friends, and they all graduated, have jobs, and are doing so great in life. I am happy for them, more than anything. I do realize that at that time, I was a drag and I held them back from doing what they wanted. I hope that one day we will someday become friends again.
Here's the thing that really bothers me. My mom and I have had a terrible relationship for years. Until recently, I never realized how much of a trouble I was. One day, she decided to kick me out and I didn't say no, I didn't try to stop her. I didn't do anything because I knew that she and I both needed a break from each other. I am living at my dad's house currently, and I still wish I could take back all that I did and said to my mom. That is my biggest regret. I said so many horrible things to her and I just really hope that she will someday we start to become close one day.
That is where religion comes into place. Remember how I said that a few years back, I was curious about it? Well, now I know that I need it in my life. I need to believe and to change and do everything to be the better person I know I can be. Sure, I have wasted almost 20 years of my life, but I want to take it back and live right.
I mean, I have a wonderful boyfriend of 1 year and 4 months, and even to him, I am sometimes rude, and I feel so guilty about it. I need to stop thinking such mean thoughts and be positive.
Please excuse me if I seem a little clueless about anything.
but on a positive note:
I have my GED
I am taking a class to become a CNA (Nurses Assistant)
I've been happier than I have been in a long time!
I still stress, but at least I know that I can pull through it...
I would just appreciate any thought that anyone has.