My Christian boyfriend cheated on me.

[SAE]

Well, I would first like to say that I am very sorry to hear about your current misfortune concerning you and this man. However, the Bible clearly states that as a Christian, we are all subject to the word of God no matter who we are. When we fail at this, and at times we certainly will as I have personally witnessed in my own life, then there is always some price that we must pay. And it is these type situations that we will go through for not doing the correct things in life, which are actually quite impossible for us to do at all times, that the word of God has prescribed for us to do and we fail. And not by request concerning what we should do, but by the loving commands that God would have us to do because He has created us in His image. And it is by that image which is in the likeness of Christ, what we will be fully perfected latter on with the mind of Christ, without corruption or inadequacy, but eternally with Him, and in Him, in the kingdom of God forever which we are part of even now.
So, I guess the options here according to trust, should be considered by you concerning about what to do next.
In my humble opinion, if it were me in a similar situation, I would meditate on this issue long and hard and wait at least until the end of the semester before making any decision about leaving school.
I certainly know what it feels like to be betrayed by another. But, if no reconciliation comes of this, in time I believe that real healing will take place in both of your lives by the power of God as it is by that power, compassion, and mercy, that we all live and are able to function in no matter what situations or circumstances that we might find ourselves in at any time in our lives and not just in this instance!
Therefore, if you eventually reconcile with this person, then it will be by the power of God.
If you do not reconcile with this person, then it will be by the power of Almighty God also.
Please do not sell anyone short here, especially if God may have a plan for your life which may or may not include him in it.
I have been down this road also, and know this: You are not being punished by God in any way for anything that you have done sister in Christ and I sincerely mean this too!
By God's wisdom and foreknowledge you and he were originally brought together, and please remember also that God also in His foreknowledge and the wisdom that goes along with it, has never given or taken anything from any one of His elect that cannot be managed or handled by us at anytime, or at any juncture in our entire lives, as all things ultimately work for good according to the word of God and through His Spirit concerning the ones who God loves.
And I know by these things for certain, that He will never stop loving you!

Your brother,
Jimmie

 

[Poor Beggar]

Help me out. How can someone cheat on you if you're not married to them?

I agree. What he did was fornicate. We're trivializing marriage nowadays by acting like the only thing new is the ring.

 

[ReesePiece23]

Learn to love yourself 100%. If you can't love yourself internally, then you have no business being in a relationship.

If you can have complete love and respect for yourself, then no worldly or man-made entity can ever hurt you.

 

[sincerelyW]

Learn to love yourself 100%. If you can't love yourself internally, then you have no business being in a relationship.

If you can have complete love and respect for yourself, then no worldly or man-made entity can ever hurt you.

And I learn to love myself by seeing myself the way God sees me?

 

[sincerelyW]

Learn to love yourself 100%. If you can't love yourself internally, then you have no business being in a relationship.

If you can have complete love and respect for yourself, then no worldly or man-made entity can ever hurt you.

Also, please realize, it wasn't this man or man-made entity who hurt me, but rather Satan himself. It's a spiritual battle - not against flesh and blood. Yes, my ex boyfriend did hurt me greatly, but it was created by Satan.

 

[fizzygiraffe]

Help me out. How can someone cheat on you if you're not married to them?

You're thinking of adultery. Which is cheating in marriage.

A monogamous relationship can suffer cheating when one party betrays the monogamy agreement both parties have entered into as bf/gf.

He's Christian and he went all the way with his ex-girlfriend.
This would be an easy call for me. If he'll cheat once and there are no consequences, as in the girl forgives him his violation not just of the scriptures regarding premarital sex, but the promise he made to be faithful to his present girlfriend, he'll cheat again.
It didn't cost him anything to cheat the first time. And the girl, in sticking with him, shows him she thinks less of herself and more of a man who's proven to her he can't be trusted.

He left you the moment he entered into her.

And that is how you know he's not the one for you.
That's how I'd see it. He'd be gone the moment his confession left his lips if he were my bf.
Life is too short to suffer a cheat. If you can't trust him to be faithful you can't trust him at all. Because not sleeping with another woman is the easiest thing to do.

 

[sincerelyW]

You're thinking of adultery. Which is cheating in marriage.

A monogamous relationship can suffer cheating when one party betrays the monogamy agreement both parties have entered into as bf/gf.

He's Christian and he went all the way with his ex-girlfriend.
This would be an easy call for me. If he'll cheat once and there are no consequences, as in the girl forgives him his violation not just of the scriptures regarding premarital sex, but the promise he made to be faithful to his present girlfriend, he'll cheat again.
It didn't cost him anything to cheat the first time. And the girl, in sticking with him, shows him she thinks less of herself and more of a man who's proven to her he can't be trusted.

He left you the moment he entered into her.

And that is how you know he's not the one for you.
That's how I'd see it. He'd be gone the moment his confession left his lips if he were my bf.
Life is too short to suffer a cheat. If you can't trust him to be faithful you can't trust him at all. Because not sleeping with another woman is the easiest thing to do.

Please understand, I left him the moment he told me of his cheating and I have no intentions of ever getting back together with him. So yes, he definitely lost something - and that's me. I'm not sure what you mean by "it didn't cost him anything to cheat."

 

[fizzygiraffe]

That part of my remarks was as pertains to someone who stays. Or, goes back after breaking off because he pleads he'll never do it again.

 

[RC1970]

If you're going to fornicate with your boyfriend, and then cut him off, don't be surprised when he moves on to the next available fornicator.

If you want a guy who is true to you, then be true to him, and wait until you're married.

 

[Psalm3704]

Just today, my college boyfriend of 2 years told me that he cheated (yes, all the way...) on me with his ex girlfriend a few weeks ago when I was back home. I am 21, he is 23.

I'm devastated. When we first started dating, we weren't following God. We fornicated and even moved in together for a year.

Hi again sincerelyW,

I owe you an apology because last night when reading your post, I only read what I quoted above. Shame on me for not reading everything to know the whole story. Fortunately I don't normally do this as this was the first time I've done this. However the information I wrote to you is correct but it doesn't apply to you. However you can learn from it as well.

So after reading everything this time, and hopefully you didn't leave out other important informations, this is what you're going through, Rev 2:10.

Revelation 2:10 Do not fear any of those things which you are about to suffer. Indeed, the devil is about to throw some of you into prison, that you may be tested, and you will have tribulation ten days. Be faithful until death, and I will give you the crown of life.

This is the test you're going through. Not every Christian will be granted this test, only some. The bad part is this test is like a living hell on earth, there's no test more painful than this one. The good thing this time has a time limit, so you don't have to endure this till the end like many other tests. A better thing is you'll be given the crown of life at the end. It basically means you'll be rapture to be with Christ when he comes for His own, and reign with Him during the millennium. The best thing, you're one of the chosen one. But pass the test, don't let anything happening now discourage you.

It's just like the Israelites, the elects are the chosen ones of Israel, they are the remnant who are sealed and protected during their trial of testing in the great tribulation. The church also has it's chosen ones, we are the firstborn of the saints. Every Christian are called, but not everyone will listen and follow, and make themselves worthy. Therefore, not every Christian will be rapture.

Matthew 22:8 Then he said to his servants, ‘The wedding is ready, but those who were invited were not worthy.

Matthew 22:14 “For many are called, but few are chosen.”

If you want to get a better idea of the test you're going through, read the book of Job. It's about 42 chapters. If you can't read the entire book, at least read the first 7 chapters and the last 5 chapters. Do so in a translation you can fully understand. It'll help you understand the test a little better with some ideas why you're taking it and how to pass it. But definitely read it.

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Job+1&version=NCV

Here's the key. It's all about how much you love God and it's you against the devil. Hold on to God no matter what happens. Don't blame Him or turn away from Him, it's what the devil wants you to do.

And you're not alone, many great biblical heroes in the bible have taken this test: Abraham, Paul, Joseph, Jacob and Moses. But Moses kept failing his test, it's why he endured in the desert for 40 years going in circle till he passes away. He questioned God, blamed God and argued with Him regularly. Learn from Moses and don't do what he did. LOL.

Here's a little tip from me, pray and ask God to forgive your boyfriend. (Yeah I know he's guilty) But the best way to reach God is with a good heart. And you want to do it solely because you love God.

sincerelyW, you LOVE God. When time gets tough, you LOVE God. ​

Satan is not gonna know what else to throw at you. And God will say "that's my girl!" "See satan, she LOVES Me, no matter what you throw at her, she still LOVES Me!"

Have a look at the photo in my signature. "When you come to the end of yourself, you find the beginning of God"

 

[ReesePiece23]

And I learn to love myself by seeing myself the way God sees me?

You could, or, you could just embrace how wonderful and unique you are, and take full ownership of the contents of your mind. I'm not saying take power away from God, but I am saying work with God to find internal peace and self respect.

Next to God, the most rewarding and fulfilling relationship you can have is with yourself. A partner is just a condiment in comparison.

Also, please realize, it wasn't this man or man-made entity who hurt me, but rather Satan himself. It's a spiritual battle - not against flesh and blood. Yes, my ex boyfriend did hurt me greatly, but it was created by Satan.

Draw closer to God, and don't even acknowledge the existence of Satan. It's a spiritual battle instantly won, if you refuse to acknowledge it. Remember, God will only allow Satan in if he has a very good reason for it. Everything happens under His authority and in perfect timing.

 

[sincerelyW]

Hi again sincerelyW,

I owe you an apology because last night when reading your post, I only read what I quoted above. Shame on me for not reading everything to know the whole story. Fortunately I don't normally do this as this was the first time I've done this. However the information I wrote to you is correct but it doesn't apply to you. However you can learn from it as well.

So after reading everything this time, and hopefully you didn't leave out other important informations, this is what you're going through, Rev 2:10.

Revelation 2:10 Do not fear any of those things which you are about to suffer. Indeed, the devil is about to throw some of you into prison, that you may be tested, and you will have tribulation ten days. Be faithful until death, and I will give you the crown of life.

This is the test you're going through. Not every Christian will be granted this test, only some. The bad part is this test is like a living hell on earth, there's no test more painful than this one. The good thing this time has a time limit, so you don't have to endure this till the end like many other tests. A better thing is you'll be given the crown of life at the end. It basically means you'll be rapture to be with Christ when he comes for His own, and reign with Him during the millennium. The best thing, you're one of the chosen one. But pass the test, don't let anything happening now discourage you.

It's just like the Israelites, the elects are the chosen ones of Israel, they are the remnant who are sealed and protected during their trial of testing in the great tribulation. The church also has it's chosen ones, we are the firstborn of the saints. Every Christian are called, but not everyone will listen and follow, and make themselves worthy. Therefore, not every Christian will be rapture.

Matthew 22:8 Then he said to his servants, ‘The wedding is ready, but those who were invited were not worthy.

Matthew 22:14 “For many are called, but few are chosen.”

If you want to get a better idea of the test you're going through, read the book of Job. It's about 42 chapters. If you can't read the entire book, at least read the first 7 chapters and the last 5 chapters. Do so in a translation you can fully understand. It'll help you understand the test a little better with some ideas why you're taking it and how to pass it. But definitely read it.

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Job+1&version=NCV

Here's the key. It's all about how much you love God and it's you against the devil. Hold on to God no matter what happens. Don't blame Him or turn away from Him, it's what the devil wants you to do.

And you're not alone, many great biblical heroes in the bible have taken this test: Abraham, Paul, Joseph, Jacob and Moses. But Moses kept failing his test, it's why he endured in the desert for 40 years going in circle till he passes away. He questioned God, blamed God and argued with Him regularly. Learn from Moses and don't do what he did. LOL.

Here's a little tip from me, pray and ask God to forgive your boyfriend. (Yeah I know he's guilty) But the best way to reach God is with a good heart. And you want to do it solely because you love God.

sincerelyW, you LOVE God. When time gets tough, you LOVE God. ​

Satan is not gonna know what else to throw at you. And God will say "that's my girl!" "See satan, she LOVES Me, no matter what you throw at her, she still LOVES Me!"

Have a look at the photo in my signature. "When you come to the end of yourself, you find the beginning of God"

Thank you very much...

 

[Goodbook]

No, the most fulfilling relationship is the one you have with JESUS! And he loves you a lot more and respects you and cherishes you more than this guy ever did.

 

[Goodbook]

sorry, not to confuse you but you must ask your heavenly Father for wisdom which he will give to you as a daughter of the most High, and also, talk to Jesus about getting this sin out of your life. Only He can wash away our sinfulness with his own blood. Go and sin no more.

 

[ReesePiece23]

No, the most fulfilling relationship is the one you have with JESUS! And he loves you a lot more and respects you and cherishes you more than this guy ever did.

Jesus ---> yourself ---------------------------------------------------> spouse and everyone else.

That's pretty much what I'm getting at. (Just to clear any confusion.)

 

[lunabeam]

I forgot who said it up there, but I forgot to mention it in my little message! You need to forgive him, try your best to. Doing that is the first step in the right direction. Forgive him in your heart and mind both.

 

[sincerelyW]

I forgot who said it up there, but I forgot to mention it in my little message! You need to forgive him, try your best to. Doing that is the first step in the right direction. Forgive him in your heart and mind both.

To be honest, I have forgiven him in my heart and in my mind, and I lifted him to God. It was hard and I am still so very hurt but I want to move forward from this and not hold onto resentment. The issue here is simply black and white - he cheated, therefore I won't get back together with him, but I will forgive him in my heart.

 

[ZION470]

I agree, you did what you had to.. you forgave him. Now the issue is black and white, whether or not you want to let him back in your life. I believe God will show you what to do, and He knows what is best for you. I believe your ex-boyfriend knew he lost you the moment he betrayed you and surely he knew he had to pay the consequences. I do recognize he man up and took responsibility for his actions, surely this will be a learning experience for both of you. Its important to always be vigilant, the devil is waiting to see who to devour. Seems like this time he targeted you guys. The closer you get to God the more satan tries to destroy you. We must stay stedfast and endure the tests. No one is immune to this, surely this can happen to anybody and if you fall know that Christ is waiting for you with open arms.

"Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it.

The answer is love. Love will get you through this. God is love! God is good!
Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself.
Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

 

[sincerelyW]

I agree, you did what you had to.. you forgave him. Now the issue is black and white, whether or not you want to let him back in your life. I believe God will show you what to do, and He knows what is best for you. I believe your ex-boyfriend knew he lost you the moment he betrayed you and surely he knew he had to pay the consequences. I do recognize he man up and took responsibility for his actions, surely this will be a learning experience for both of you. Its important to always be vigilant, the devil is waiting to see who to devour. We must stay stedfast and endure the tests. No one is immune to this, surely this can happen to anybody and if you fall know that Christ is waiting for you with open arms.

"Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it.

The answer is love. Love will get you through this. God is love! God is good!
Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself.
Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

Wow if I would guess it's almost like your response is identical to the text I got from my ex boyfriend today......

 

[ZION470]

Seems like he is not lead ashtray after all. Pray for him and do not lose hope. I will pray for you and him.
"Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding"
God bless you