[SIZE=-1]Now very early in the morning, He came again into the temple, and all the people came to Him. He sat down, and taught them. The scribes and the Pharisees brought two people: a woman taken in adultery, and a homosexual discovered having sex with another man (the Pharisees knew about this because they had spent an hour watching the two men from the two men’s bedroom window).
Having set them in the midst, they told Him, “Teacher, we found this woman in adultery and this homosexual, in the very act. Now in our law, Moses commanded us to stone such. What then do you say about them?” They said this testing Him, that they might have something to accuse Him of.
But Jesus stooped down, and wrote on the ground with His finger. But when they continued asking Him, he looked up and said to them, “He who is without sin among you, let him throw the first stone at her.” Again He stooped down, and with his finger wrote on the ground.
They, when they heard it, being convicted by their conscience, they began to leave one by one, beginning from the oldest, even to the last.
However, one of the Pharisees spoke up, and said, “That’s all well and good about the adulteress, but what about this homosexual?” Jesus looked at the homosexual, then at the Pharisee, and said, “By golly – you’re right!” And at once, the body of the homosexual was covered in boils, and a dark cloud formed near the homosexual’s house and dropped a tornado (which was later rated F-5 on the Fujita scale) which struck and destroyed the homosexual’s house – and then just as miraculously, ascended into the clouds; and a ring of sulfur smoke and fire surrounded the homosexual as Satan and his demons grabbed the homosexual and the ground descended into Hell.
“Well,” said one of the Pharisees, “at least He did something right!”[/SIZE]
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(Why -- what do you mean this isn't in the story? Seeing as the Bible is all about condemning homosexuality, but says very little about not being charitable to the poor, acting justly, loving mercy, showing humility, loving God with all one's heart, soul, and mind -- this is the way the story appears in my Bible. I'm surprised this wouldn't appear in anybody else's Bible.
(But then again -- I use the Fundamentalist Standard Bible where Leviticus consists of one chapter with two verses; and Romans consists of one chapter with seven verses.)
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