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<blockquote data-quote="losthope" data-source="post: 58582396" data-attributes="member: 94863"><p>To joey down under,</p><p></p><p>We wrote this:</p><p></p><p></p><p>Not a note of panic. More a note of recognition that a third failure at becoming a Christian would tell me that it is never going to happen.</p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p>You may be right, but it is all taking a very long time. Of course, Gods timing would be what matters.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>That sounds like a lot of work and a lot of dedication, to consider the Bible in such a detailed way. I might do that as a Christian, but I am not going to do it as an unbeliever. Especially as I want to know God in my own life rather than knowing more about God from reading the Bible. To some Christians, knowing God through the Bible is knowing God. To me, the Bible could only help me to know more about God, rather than knowing God.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>You seem to be implying that people think about me in the same way that I might sometimes describe things myself. No, the people around me are quite capable of making up their own minds about me. They do not calmly accept what I tell them.</p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p>I agree. The events may not change, but the interpretation of the events may change. For now, because I can recognise several possible reasons for my particular experiences of trying to be a believer, I could interpret the events in different ways. The trouble is, I do not know which interpretation is correct.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>I can assure you that faith in Christ can be unsuccessful. I ought to know.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>So I am told. But I have no spiritual awareness and very limited spiritual understanding, so I could not say from experience anything about the spiritual realm. Indeed, I could not say from experience that such a thing as a spiritual realm exists.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>I agree that identifying what is holding me back could help. But how could I find out what is holding me back? It would have to be something permanent in my life, to have held me back over so many years.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>It was not that I was not aware of how close I had to keep to God. I knew very well that I needed to keep close to God. But I knew that I was very far from God. Not that I had once been close and had moved away, but that I had never been close to God at all. That was what I wanted to do, to get closer to God.</p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p>I was very aware that my worry about lack of experience of God was eroding my faith. But it was not that I took my eyes off God and put them on lack of experience instead. The problem was that I was never able to keep my eyes on God, because I never seemed to find God.</p><p></p><p>Some Christians are quite happy with knowing God through the Bible. That is fine for them. It is not right for me; I would need to know God. And that implies God responding to me. For me, no response from God means no relationship with God and that means no salvation. It is as simple as that.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>Not just becoming a believer, but having such a disappointing experience as a believer and finally giving up my belief. It is the whole thing that was significant in my life.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>I am not the only contributor to Christian Forums who has been though failure as a convert to Christianity. As far as I am aware, none of the others has been able to find God either. So I am not alone.</p><p></p><p>You say that you were where Im at about five to seven years ago. Yes, I can understand what you mean by that. But now you are very different. What caused the change? Would it work for me?</p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p>I read this, but the woman in the story is very different from me. The point of the story is that she had assurance but did not know it. I do not have assurance, and did not have assurance as a believer once I realised that God had not responded to me. This began about a year after becoming a believer. For the first year I simply trusted that God would eventually respond, and so the lack of response was not a problem.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="losthope, post: 58582396, member: 94863"] To joey down under, We wrote this: Not a note of panic. More a note of recognition that a third failure at becoming a Christian would tell me that it is never going to happen. You may be right, but it is all taking a very long time. Of course, Gods timing would be what matters. That sounds like a lot of work and a lot of dedication, to consider the Bible in such a detailed way. I might do that as a Christian, but I am not going to do it as an unbeliever. Especially as I want to know God in my own life rather than knowing more about God from reading the Bible. To some Christians, knowing God through the Bible is knowing God. To me, the Bible could only help me to know more about God, rather than knowing God. You seem to be implying that people think about me in the same way that I might sometimes describe things myself. No, the people around me are quite capable of making up their own minds about me. They do not calmly accept what I tell them. I agree. The events may not change, but the interpretation of the events may change. For now, because I can recognise several possible reasons for my particular experiences of trying to be a believer, I could interpret the events in different ways. The trouble is, I do not know which interpretation is correct. I can assure you that faith in Christ can be unsuccessful. I ought to know. So I am told. But I have no spiritual awareness and very limited spiritual understanding, so I could not say from experience anything about the spiritual realm. Indeed, I could not say from experience that such a thing as a spiritual realm exists. I agree that identifying what is holding me back could help. But how could I find out what is holding me back? It would have to be something permanent in my life, to have held me back over so many years. It was not that I was not aware of how close I had to keep to God. I knew very well that I needed to keep close to God. But I knew that I was very far from God. Not that I had once been close and had moved away, but that I had never been close to God at all. That was what I wanted to do, to get closer to God. I was very aware that my worry about lack of experience of God was eroding my faith. But it was not that I took my eyes off God and put them on lack of experience instead. The problem was that I was never able to keep my eyes on God, because I never seemed to find God. Some Christians are quite happy with knowing God through the Bible. That is fine for them. It is not right for me; I would need to know God. And that implies God responding to me. For me, no response from God means no relationship with God and that means no salvation. It is as simple as that. Not just becoming a believer, but having such a disappointing experience as a believer and finally giving up my belief. It is the whole thing that was significant in my life. I am not the only contributor to Christian Forums who has been though failure as a convert to Christianity. As far as I am aware, none of the others has been able to find God either. So I am not alone. You say that you were where Im at about five to seven years ago. Yes, I can understand what you mean by that. But now you are very different. What caused the change? Would it work for me? I read this, but the woman in the story is very different from me. The point of the story is that she had assurance but did not know it. I do not have assurance, and did not have assurance as a believer once I realised that God had not responded to me. This began about a year after becoming a believer. For the first year I simply trusted that God would eventually respond, and so the lack of response was not a problem. [/QUOTE]
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