This is a question for all marriage minded men. What do you look for in your future wife? What are your deal breakers? What is most important to you? What kind of relationship should she have with God?
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CF has always been a site that welcomes people from different backgrounds and beliefs to participate in discussion and even debate. That is the nature of its ministry. In view of recent events emotions are running very high. We need to remind people of some basic principles in debating on this site. We need to be civil when we express differences in opinion. No personal attacks. Avoid you, your statements. Don't characterize an entire political party with comparisons to Fascism or Communism or other extreme movements that committed atrocities. CF is not the place for broad brush or blanket statements about groups and political parties. Put the broad brushes and blankets away when you come to CF, better yet, put them in the incinerator. Debate had no place for them. We need to remember that people that commit acts of violence represent themselves or a small extreme faction.
Men...
- Thread starter smiley1979
- Start date
JohnDB
Regular Member
I am a bit out of the ordinary...
I really seriously doubt that I will find a wife. But for good reasons.
Most women want stability and security from a husband...and I will not be offering those things to any woman.
BUT.
If a woman one day wants to be a partner with me in something akin to a suicide mission while on an informal and unrecognized mission for God...well...hey...ROCK ON. But it is something I can't ask...she has to offer it. The passion for God it takes to go on a mission like that...It just doesn't exist very often. I know I haven't seen it or met anyone with that strong of a desire.
But...if she has that kind of passion for God...that will be enough. The rest of the details really aren't material.
I really seriously doubt that I will find a wife. But for good reasons.
Most women want stability and security from a husband...and I will not be offering those things to any woman.
BUT.
If a woman one day wants to be a partner with me in something akin to a suicide mission while on an informal and unrecognized mission for God...well...hey...ROCK ON. But it is something I can't ask...she has to offer it. The passion for God it takes to go on a mission like that...It just doesn't exist very often. I know I haven't seen it or met anyone with that strong of a desire.
But...if she has that kind of passion for God...that will be enough. The rest of the details really aren't material.
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E
EazyMack
Guest
Her relationship with God should be her priority above all priorities. That said, we have to be able to have good God conversation, as I love to talk about the parallels of life & faith. She doesn't need to have a perfect past anything like that... God has humbled me in my self-righteous thinking and has shown me forgiveness for what I've done [that I never thought I'd do] and has opened my eyes to see that the new creations are all He sees, therefore that is all I need to see as well. As long as we are striving to be more Christ-like, and not receiving forgiveness for the same bad habits on a daily basis. 
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Schneiderman
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No tattoos, facial piercings, body modifications or extreme hair or fashion styling.
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1. Wisdom...A wise woman brings blessings to the people around her.
2. Not willing to have children.
3. ??? Speaking of what?
4. Obedience
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Balugon
o( ' . ' )o
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I'm also different than a lot of people. But- I need a woman who believes, and moves in, the Gifts of the Spirit. I need a woman who is patient and understanding. I want a woman who dreams as big as I do. If I still don't want kids by the time I meet Miss Future Prospective Wife, then she would have to be a woman who didn't want kids either. She has to have an active relationship with God (the every day kind). I'd like her to be on the intellectual side, because I am as well. And, of course, she would have to be a nudist by the time we married, because I'm not gonna marry someone who doesn't believe like I do and have it cause us not to be able to minister like we should be.
How many of those are dealbreakers? Gifts of the Spirit, kids, dreamer (probably), patience, active relationship with God, nudist.
Ideally, I would marry someone somewhat like myself, so that, as we are yoked together, we move strongly and efficiently in the direction we are supposed to go. If I didn't marry someone like myself, it could cause us to want to go in different directions in God, and this could theoretically cause problems.
How many of those are dealbreakers? Gifts of the Spirit, kids, dreamer (probably), patience, active relationship with God, nudist.
Ideally, I would marry someone somewhat like myself, so that, as we are yoked together, we move strongly and efficiently in the direction we are supposed to go. If I didn't marry someone like myself, it could cause us to want to go in different directions in God, and this could theoretically cause problems.
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rdonovan1
Active Member
Who are you trying to rope into marriage? I just thought that I would ask because most men are naturally commitment phobic. I'm one of those rare men that are not however. I am however very, very cautious about who I marry or even get into a relationship with because I've made too many mistakes of letting myself get involved with the wrong women.
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leothelioness
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- Apr 4, 2006
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I'm not trying to rope anyone into marriage. I was just thinking about the type of guy I would like and realized that I should take into consideration what type of a woman a man would like and thought I would ask and see what kinds of answers men give.
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kevlite2020
rawr means I love you in dinosaur!
lol!
As for me, pretty simple. I'm just looking for a woman who puts God first in all things, and one who has a large capacity for forgiveness and growth. I say that because I know how flawed I am and I need a woman that will want to grow in Christ, and want to help me to grow as well, but will also be forgiving for the times I come up short.
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Paulie079
Guest
For me, the basic standard that I hold for my future wife is that she has a fairly matured relationship with God, a good community of Christian women around her or a desire for that community, she's sociable, has a desire to have a family and a desire to do ministry.
What does this mean exactly?
Her relationship with God and a desire to grow in it is most important. A desire to do ministry and have a family would be the next things I guess.
I just want a wife that loves Jesus and desires to be used by him. That's all
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JohnDB
Regular Member
What if I want YOU to help ME grow in Christ?!
Not for me...
No Thanks. (I mean granted there is a huge age difference and forty something guys probably aren't to your taste...just like nineteen yo girls aren't to mine either)
But the ideal you are having..nope.
Don't want any of that.
There is an ancient expression : "Water finds it's own level."
Meaning that you won't be comfortable with someone who is far above you in spiritual growth. Nor they with you. Growing Old Together is a much better ideal and a whole lot more fun. Problem is..you only get to do it once.
Trouble arises when one all of a sudden stops growing...and the other one continues to mature...real friction is found then.
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Paulie079
Guest
^ I think you can still challenge your marriage partner to a point of helping them grow in their faith even if you're at pretty similary places in your relationships with God...
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leothelioness
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Sketcher
Born Imperishable
Trustworthy.
Patient.
Kind.
Considerate.
Understanding.
Respectful.
Attractive.
Biblically available.
Same values.
Intelligent.
Dishonest.
Cheater.
Spiteful.
Disrespectful.
Bad temper, or worse, angry as a person.
Selfish/refuses to work on herself to help make things work.
Frigid.
Incompatible values.
Mentally sick/needs meds to be "normal"
Substance abuser.
Male abuser.
Child abuser.
Has an incurable disease that she could pass on to me.
Can't carry on an interesting conversation.
Not single according to God's standards.
Has or once had male parts.
An active one. He really should be more important to her than she is.
As iron sharpens iron . . . besides, you'd need to be pretty far along if you're going to be teachable.What if I want YOU to help ME grow in Christ?!
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DougyP
Guest
Looking For:
I'm socially stupid. I just want a girl who can see past that and help me not be socially stupid for starters. I may or may not be going into the missoin field. Right now life is not taking me there. However, I may end up there one day in the future. I would not be somthing to which I would say "No." I need someone who is willing to go there with me. I am looking for a girl who knows what she believes.
Fun
Gets excited easy
Loves spicy food
Flexible
Deal Breakers:
Drinks too much
smokes
Self Centered
Doesn't like Mel Brooks or Bill Murray
I am a physically fit person. I went from butter ball to bulldog. It isn't easy and it takes a lot of work for me. I know what a busy schedule is and all the excuses that come with one. What I am getting at is that cannot stand a lazy lump of a human being. How a person spends their free time, says more than a month of conversation.
I'm socially stupid. I just want a girl who can see past that and help me not be socially stupid for starters. I may or may not be going into the missoin field. Right now life is not taking me there. However, I may end up there one day in the future. I would not be somthing to which I would say "No." I need someone who is willing to go there with me. I am looking for a girl who knows what she believes.
Fun
Gets excited easy
Loves spicy food
Flexible
Deal Breakers:
Drinks too much
smokes
Self Centered
Doesn't like Mel Brooks or Bill Murray
I am a physically fit person. I went from butter ball to bulldog. It isn't easy and it takes a lot of work for me. I know what a busy schedule is and all the excuses that come with one. What I am getting at is that cannot stand a lazy lump of a human being. How a person spends their free time, says more than a month of conversation.
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CrusaderKing
Senior Veteran
- Aug 24, 2006
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- US-Democrat
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