If they really interested...

[SOLDIER ❤]

I've seen guys go for what they want. If they really like a girl they will speak with her someway, somehow.

So my philosophy... if they are interested they will let you know. If they're not talking to you then don't even waste your time.

What do you think?

 

[miss-a]

I'm with you on this. I think we need to be open and approachable, but after that we need to face that if they are not pursuing they just aren't the one God has for us.

 

[Strider1002]

So my philosophy... if they are interested they will let you know. If they're not talking to you then don't even waste your time.

I think that's generally true, BUT you never know when a guy may be biding his time, waiting to get to know you better, something like that.

 

[Amber.ly]

I've seen guys go for what they want. If they really like a girl they will speak with her someway, somehow.

So my philosophy... if they are interested they will let you know. If they're not talking to you then don't even waste your time.

What do you think?

I would assume the bolded would be universally applied to anyone.

If someone is not communicating with you, walk away. Its hard to have a one-sided relationship.

Unless one side is chocolate.

 

[Amber.ly]

I think that's generally true, BUT you never know when a guy may be biding his time, waiting to get to know you better, something like that.

Sneak attack romance

 

[Strider1002]

Sneak attack romance

Yeah, I stopped using that technique after getting pepper sprayed for the ninth time...

 

[Saucy]

I don't think it means they aren't interested. They very well could be interested. But if you're not getting what YOU need, then probably move on. Or stay and wait to find out for sure if that person is worth it. If you're quick and ready to move on, then it's probably a good sign that you yourself aren't really too interested enough to wait for someone who just isn't in the right position or time.

 

[SOLDIER ❤]

Yeah, I stopped using that technique after getting pepper sprayed for the ninth time...

So sorry for you. Sometimes I wish I'd get the sneak attack by a cutey.

I don't think it means they aren't interested. They very well could be interested. But if you're not getting what YOU need, then probably move on. Or stay and wait to find out for sure if that person is worth it. If you're quick and ready to move on, then it's probably a good sign that you yourself aren't really too interested enough to wait for someone who just isn't in the right position or time.

That is all good for some people, but is it fair to wait for someone when they are chasing another or... testing the waters? I mean that is like saying, "Here hold this in your hand and wait right here while I figure out what I wanna do." After a while what ever you holding gets heavy and you will want to give up on the waiting game.

I've been patient for 17 years, but I also know that I've done this before. I've waited only to be hurt.

If you (in general) don't speak to me how are you trying to get to know me if you don't speak to me? I guess it's just one of those things I can't get with men.

 

[harvester77]

In general men who really like you will do all the chasing even if they are shy. I had a guy who suffered from social anxiety and was painfully shy, yet he still sent me a card, teddy bear and asked me out and pursued me. Men do this when they really like a woman!!! FACT! No getting round, no excuses, women should never chase a man ever! When you chat a guy up he may take you up but you just never really know if he really does like you that much or just going along with it because well you chased him.. Guys what do you think??

 

[SOLDIER ❤]

In general men who really like you will do all the chasing even if they are shy. I had a guy who suffered from social anxiety and was painfully shy, yet he still sent me a card, teddy bear and asked me out and pursued me. Men do this when they really like a woman!!! FACT! No getting round, no excuses, women should never chase a man ever! When you chat a guy up he may take you up but you just never really know if he really does like you that much or just going along with it because well you chased him.. Guys what do you think??

I agree!

 

[Saucy]

I think it's different. As I've told you specifically Soldier, it's up to you if you want to wait. If it gets to heavy and you don't want to wait, then don't wait. There are reasons for multiple things and people tend to vastly over think things when it comes to relationships.

If it doesn't feel right to you or the guy doesn't seem interested, then don't wait. But you could be missing out on an amazing opportunity when/if that person is ready.

Like I said, if they aren't ready and don't want to be in a relationship or CAN'T be in a relationship, they aren't going to pursue, no matter how much they like someone. I've had a few crushes here and there, but to me, crushes are no more than little admirations that come and go. It's nothing serious. I'm a single guy and I like women and it will happen.

But I haven't gotten serious or allowed myself to have serious feelings for someone in quite a long time because of where I am personally. So even though I might like someone or think they would be great for me or even if I wanted a relationship with them...if I wasn't ready, I won't pursue.

Because then what happens if I do pursue, it works out and things click, but me not being ready really adds even more hurt to the situation? Then you'd wish it never would've happened in the first place. I know I'd feel guilty.

If there is someone out there right now who is interested in me, I would like to know it and I would work on developing that friendship first and when I'm ready and the feelings really start to flow, I'll pursue. But I'm not pursuing anyone right now, despite feelings and crushes I may have on another.

 

[SOLDIER ❤]

I think it's different. As I've told you specifically Soldier, it's up to you if you want to wait. If it gets to heavy and you don't want to wait, then don't wait. There are reasons for multiple things and people tend to vastly over think things when it comes to relationships.

If it doesn't feel right to you or the guy doesn't seem interested, then don't wait. But you could be missing out on an amazing opportunity when/if that person is ready.

Like I said, if they aren't ready and don't want to be in a relationship or CAN'T be in a relationship, they aren't going to pursue, no matter how much they like someone. I've had a few crushes here and there, but to me, crushes are no more than little admirations that come and go. It's nothing serious. I'm a single guy and I like women and it will happen.

But I haven't gotten serious or allowed myself to have serious feelings for someone in quite a long time because of where I am personally. So even though I might like someone or think they would be great for me or even if I wanted a relationship with them...if I wasn't ready, I won't pursue.

Because then what happens if I do pursue, it works out and things click, but me not being ready really adds even more hurt to the situation? Then you'd wish it never would've happened in the first place. I know I'd feel guilty.

If there is someone out there right now who is interested in me, I would like to know it and I would work on developing that friendship first and when I'm ready and the feelings really start to flow, I'll pursue. But I'm not pursuing anyone right now, despite feelings and crushes I may have on another.

I can see where you are coming from, but at the same time it's still not fair to the woman. You can also lose out too. While she is waiting for you to be ready she may develop feelings for another, but then that just means it wasn't meant to be.

I only feel that the whole pursuit may not be good. Maybe a one time event where the pursuit becomes something more, but it's a rare event when it comes to love. I do know of woman who have pursued the man and now they are married. It happens, but it's rare. (Well in my opinion)

 

[bluegreysky]

I've seen guys go for what they want. If they really like a girl they will speak with her someway, somehow.

So my philosophy... if they are interested they will let you know. If they're not talking to you then don't even waste your time.

What do you think?

Ok I'm going to be Buzz Killington here... and break it down technically and scientifically!

I learned in college psychology 101 that women are designed to nest and nurture but men are designed to spread their DNA everywhere. In other words... this is the reason women have one time a month they can get pregnant and only certain times a month they are "in the mood" and a 9 month gestation for one little baby and men on the other hand.. lol each "occurence" has millions of "little guys" in it and some guys have a libido that allows for some pretty hefty promiscuity. ewwww!
It's also why you see so many single moms working hard at their little family and so many dead-beat dads that ran away to go party
Of course there's lots of people who don't fit either stereotype (runaway mom, stay at home loyal dad) but yeah this is the general rule among human psychology.

Now I could be wrong, but I think this feeds into what you said.
Men can be more impulsive and women can be more logical.
Not always. But it definitely seems like 9 times out of 10, a guy will notice a pretty girl and will just HAVE to talk to her (if he's a gentleman) or take her home (if he's a bar guy) where as my girlfriends, they go through a long list why they will or won't talk to someone based on his personality or his history with the other ladies or whatever and looks are important but not #1. Then they shyly wait for him to notice them. lol.

 

[Spunkn]

No getting round, no excuses, women should never chase a man ever! When you chat a guy up he may take you up but you just never really know if he really does like you that much or just going along with it because well you chased him.. Guys what do you think??

Disagree. Women who think it's all on the guy to do all of the pursuing will be missing out on a lot of opportunities, because they will give off the impression to guys that they are not interested in anyone.

 

[Spunkn]

Ok I'm going to be Buzz Killington here... and break it down technically and scientifically!

I learned in college psychology 101 that women are designed to nest and nurture but men are designed to spread their DNA everywhere. In other words... this is the reason women have one time a month they can get pregnant and only certain times a month they are "in the mood" and a 9 month gestation for one little baby and men on the other hand.. lol each "occurence" has millions of "little guys" in it and some guys have a libido that allows for some pretty hefty promiscuity. ewwww!
It's also why you see so many single moms working hard at their little family and so many dead-beat dads that ran away to go party
Of course there's lots of people who don't fit either stereotype (runaway mom, stay at home loyal dad) but yeah this is the general rule among human psychology.

Now I could be wrong, but I think this feeds into what you said.
Men can be more impulsive and women can be more logical.
Not always. But it definitely seems like 9 times out of 10, a guy will notice a pretty girl and will just HAVE to talk to her (if he's a gentleman) or take her home (if he's a bar guy) where as my girlfriends, they go through a long list why they will or won't talk to someone based on his personality or his history with the other ladies or whatever and looks are important but not #1. Then they shyly wait for him to notice them. lol.

I'm guessing this was secular psychology? Because if men are "designed" to spread their dna around ,then how could anyone have a problem with it? They'd only be doing what they're designed to do. No, God did not design men to "spread their dna around". I don't buy that for a minute. It's an excuse and also a very dangerous one when you look at theories and ideas of how people are and live and take God out of the picture.

 

[Strider1002]

I'm guessing this was secular psychology? Because if men are "designed" to spread their dna around ,then how could anyone have a problem with it? They'd only be doing what they're designed to do. No, God did not design men to "spread their dna around". I don't buy that for a minute. It's an excuse and also a very dangerous one when you look at theories and ideas of how people are and live and take God out of the picture.

It's an excuse used by people who just want to do what feels good.

 

[bluegreysky]

haha I'm not saying I'd condone it if a man wanted to be with me sexually, but when I said "no", went to found 5 others who say "yes"... thats disgusting!
I'm just saying it is scientific fact. They have urges and therefore they act more compulsive when women (usually) try to follow a basis of social and moral reasoning why they should or shouldn't let a man into their life.

 

[Spunkn]

So because one man's a pig, it makes it a scientific fact and also that makes all of us that way. Gotcha.....

 

[bluegreysky]

...and this is why the Christian guys have a bigger struggle at being "pure" usually. Same reason. psychological wiring. Why do you think this CF has a "porn addiction" support column for men and they don't for women? and the women's struggles column is full of alot of questions about "will I get married? will I belong socially?"

 

[bluegreysky]

So because one man's a pig, it makes it a scientific fact and also that makes all of us that way. Gotcha.....

Uhm... notice in my first statement that I said "there are lots of people that don't fit the stereotype" its' just a better (more secular) portion that do and I even gave an example of "stay at home loyal dad, runaway mom"?