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<blockquote data-quote="Doctor.Sphinx" data-source="post: 73525168" data-attributes="member: 404760"><p>'You remember that ophiophagus hannah experiment you conducted back in September?'</p><p></p><p>Sam91 nodded.</p><p></p><p>'Well, it seems that the snakeskin we found about the same time as Hillary Rodham Clinton's disappearance really did belong to Hillary Rodham Clinton,' summarised the Doctor.</p><p></p><p>'And?' asked Sam91, a little frustratedly. It seemed the Doctor had a habit of explaining only the first in a long string of events, and expecting everyone else to scientifically analyse the sequence in between, so as to connect the distant past to the present.</p><p></p><p>'Well, naturally, Hillary Rodham Clinton was quite incensed that someone - probably Samantha91 - would cause her to endure the indignity of losing her skin for the sake of creating a fasionable purse or pair of slippers, and ever since, Hillary has been scheming to be the first ophiophagus hannah elected as president of the united states of America. Then and only then, she would start to wreak terrible fiery vengeance upon all her detractors, most notably Samantha91 - and due to the unfortunate similarity between the two of you - yourself', explained Doctor Sphinx.</p><p></p><p>Sam91 rolled her eyes. 'I don't think being the first ophiophagus hannah to be elected as president is something worth celebrating. And are you sure it would even be a first?'</p><p></p><p>Doctor Sphinx nodded. 'I agree. These Americans will vote for anything or anyone with a shiny mane, a glistening pelt, or failing that, someone who can squirt venom from her fangs, so long as she is waving the right-coloured flag... Or at least, that's what Hillary was banking on. However...'</p><p></p><p>'The antics of the current incumbent are keeping the hoi polloi sufficiently amused so as to deter them for electing another, possibly even more venomous creature?' asked LaSorcia sagely.</p><p></p><p>The Doctor nodded again. 'Exactly! Which is why Hillary had intended to invoke the Democrats' secret unholy alliance with the Russians to conduct a military operation...'</p><p></p><p>'Wait!' interrupted Sam91. 'I thought the secret unholy alliance with the Russians was between the Russians and the current incumbent?'</p><p></p><p>'Well done, Sam91', praised the Doctor encouragingly. 'That is the first layer of the unholy alliances, but unfortunately, there are quite a number of layers of unholy alliances, each extending ever-deeper into the onion which is the US government.'</p><p></p><p>'That's what gives them their smell when they're rancid', explained Christine40 knowledgably.</p><p></p><p>'Anyhoo, another layer of unholy alliance existed deeper within the onion, and that was the layer Hillary latched onto, in an attempt to conduct a military operation against the very people she was hoping to elect her...'</p><p></p><p>'Can dead people vote in America, then, Doctor Sphinx?' interrupted Spikey.</p><p></p><p>'Well, in theory no, but in practice yes. What I meant to say, was that such an attack, although it was against America, was to be used as a reason for the surviving Americans to vote for the ophiophagus hannah...'</p><p></p><p>'But wouldn't most voters in Severance be Republicans?' insisted Spikey.</p><p></p><p>'Only whilst they're alive,' answered the Doctor. 'One strange phenomena in America is that although voters die in similar proportions from all political parties, most of the dead voters seem to have a preference for the Democratic Party - no one seems able to explain it, although leading Democrats say it's due to their favourable policies for the dead. Anyhoo - I digress - our poor, stupid, intolerable, stooge here - Mr H - fell right into Hillary's clutches, and agreed to destroy his own hometown for a sizeable sum - the proverbial 30 pieces of silver...'</p><p></p><p>'Lies! All lies! You can't prove anything!' squealed Mr H, still hogtied and gagged, and under the firm boot of Christine40. Christine40 tightened the gag and increased the downward force of the boot, but the traitor continued to squeal, and Doctor Sphinx couldn't help wondering if the situation were somehow ironic.</p><p></p><p>'So those planes we can hear?' asked Sam91, eyes widening.</p><p></p><p>'Yes,' nodded Doctor Sphinx. 'Dropping deadly chemical gas as we speak.'</p><p></p><p>'But then you've failed Doctor! We've all failed! People are still going to die, even if we've caught one of the culprits.'</p><p></p><p>'Ah,' agreed the Doctor cheerfully. 'Yes, war is a terrible thing, and people likely will die from all the deadly chemical gas being dropped. But because we found out about this little attack in time...'</p><p></p><p>'But you didn't!' exclaimed Sam91. 'The chemicals are dropping...'</p><p></p><p>'But we've taken the anti-dote, Sam91. Remember those pills I gave you? And we've actually been asked to let the attack go ahead, so people can see just how evil Hillary and her supporters really are.'</p><p></p><p>'But...'</p><p></p><p>'Oh, don't worry, Sam91,' explained the Doctor cheerfully. 'Our spin-doctors in Washington are already writing up scripts and a story to go with the attack. Obviously, it won't be the truth, as it's easier to trick someone twice than to convince him he was fooled once. But suffice it to say, Hillary is going to look like the criminal she is, and the very event devised to depose the current president will be used to further deepen the imprint of his iron boot!'</p><p></p><p>Sam91 wasn't at all sure she was liking what she was hearing, and at the mention of the current President's "iron boot", even the heroinic Christine40 relaxed her foot on Mr H somewhat.</p><p></p><p>The moral dilemma...</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Doctor.Sphinx, post: 73525168, member: 404760"] 'You remember that ophiophagus hannah experiment you conducted back in September?' Sam91 nodded. 'Well, it seems that the snakeskin we found about the same time as Hillary Rodham Clinton's disappearance really did belong to Hillary Rodham Clinton,' summarised the Doctor. 'And?' asked Sam91, a little frustratedly. It seemed the Doctor had a habit of explaining only the first in a long string of events, and expecting everyone else to scientifically analyse the sequence in between, so as to connect the distant past to the present. 'Well, naturally, Hillary Rodham Clinton was quite incensed that someone - probably Samantha91 - would cause her to endure the indignity of losing her skin for the sake of creating a fasionable purse or pair of slippers, and ever since, Hillary has been scheming to be the first ophiophagus hannah elected as president of the united states of America. Then and only then, she would start to wreak terrible fiery vengeance upon all her detractors, most notably Samantha91 - and due to the unfortunate similarity between the two of you - yourself', explained Doctor Sphinx. Sam91 rolled her eyes. 'I don't think being the first ophiophagus hannah to be elected as president is something worth celebrating. And are you sure it would even be a first?' Doctor Sphinx nodded. 'I agree. These Americans will vote for anything or anyone with a shiny mane, a glistening pelt, or failing that, someone who can squirt venom from her fangs, so long as she is waving the right-coloured flag... Or at least, that's what Hillary was banking on. However...' 'The antics of the current incumbent are keeping the hoi polloi sufficiently amused so as to deter them for electing another, possibly even more venomous creature?' asked LaSorcia sagely. The Doctor nodded again. 'Exactly! Which is why Hillary had intended to invoke the Democrats' secret unholy alliance with the Russians to conduct a military operation...' 'Wait!' interrupted Sam91. 'I thought the secret unholy alliance with the Russians was between the Russians and the current incumbent?' 'Well done, Sam91', praised the Doctor encouragingly. 'That is the first layer of the unholy alliances, but unfortunately, there are quite a number of layers of unholy alliances, each extending ever-deeper into the onion which is the US government.' 'That's what gives them their smell when they're rancid', explained Christine40 knowledgably. 'Anyhoo, another layer of unholy alliance existed deeper within the onion, and that was the layer Hillary latched onto, in an attempt to conduct a military operation against the very people she was hoping to elect her...' 'Can dead people vote in America, then, Doctor Sphinx?' interrupted Spikey. 'Well, in theory no, but in practice yes. What I meant to say, was that such an attack, although it was against America, was to be used as a reason for the surviving Americans to vote for the ophiophagus hannah...' 'But wouldn't most voters in Severance be Republicans?' insisted Spikey. 'Only whilst they're alive,' answered the Doctor. 'One strange phenomena in America is that although voters die in similar proportions from all political parties, most of the dead voters seem to have a preference for the Democratic Party - no one seems able to explain it, although leading Democrats say it's due to their favourable policies for the dead. Anyhoo - I digress - our poor, stupid, intolerable, stooge here - Mr H - fell right into Hillary's clutches, and agreed to destroy his own hometown for a sizeable sum - the proverbial 30 pieces of silver...' 'Lies! All lies! You can't prove anything!' squealed Mr H, still hogtied and gagged, and under the firm boot of Christine40. Christine40 tightened the gag and increased the downward force of the boot, but the traitor continued to squeal, and Doctor Sphinx couldn't help wondering if the situation were somehow ironic. 'So those planes we can hear?' asked Sam91, eyes widening. 'Yes,' nodded Doctor Sphinx. 'Dropping deadly chemical gas as we speak.' 'But then you've failed Doctor! We've all failed! People are still going to die, even if we've caught one of the culprits.' 'Ah,' agreed the Doctor cheerfully. 'Yes, war is a terrible thing, and people likely will die from all the deadly chemical gas being dropped. But because we found out about this little attack in time...' 'But you didn't!' exclaimed Sam91. 'The chemicals are dropping...' 'But we've taken the anti-dote, Sam91. Remember those pills I gave you? And we've actually been asked to let the attack go ahead, so people can see just how evil Hillary and her supporters really are.' 'But...' 'Oh, don't worry, Sam91,' explained the Doctor cheerfully. 'Our spin-doctors in Washington are already writing up scripts and a story to go with the attack. Obviously, it won't be the truth, as it's easier to trick someone twice than to convince him he was fooled once. But suffice it to say, Hillary is going to look like the criminal she is, and the very event devised to depose the current president will be used to further deepen the imprint of his iron boot!' Sam91 wasn't at all sure she was liking what she was hearing, and at the mention of the current President's "iron boot", even the heroinic Christine40 relaxed her foot on Mr H somewhat. The moral dilemma... [/QUOTE]
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