"You should not feel lousy, sexual desire is an inherant human need along with drinking water and eating. Sexual neglect is grounds for divorce, it is equivilant to abandonment, in regards to divorce for sexual abuse (in this case the abuse is sexual refusal) you have to research on your own and decide for your self because there are so many neighsayers and zealots out there its not even funny and I feel like slapping them at times because stayin in a sexually unsatisfying marriage/relationship is inexcusable, also make sure the people you are taking advice from have half a brain cell. Be smart and stand up for yourself and stand your ground, if people are pressuring you into a bunch of bogus crap then cut them off, good christian friends will not throw stones at you. It is suspect that we have such an inate drive for sexual intimicy and the literal english interpertatoin of the bible and there are all kinds of cultural differences between then and now. There are alot of prudes in the christian church and they tout there own opinion more than anything. I have also noticed a much heavyer focus put on sex than other things in church, maybe when someone slips a swear word they should have a huge guilt filled intervention just like they would do if you were with this woman and had sex with her, if you really like her dont break it off tell her what you are feeling but she will only wait so long while you waffle around. The refusal of your wife has gotten so extreme that you are dating another woman, you need to make a decision to divorce your wife and give this other woman a chance or cut it off with her and go back to your depressing life with your wife. My ex wife went through sexual abuse in the past and it never gets better you will have issues for the rest of your lives and why waste the sexual peak of your life on someone who does not care about you because she is so caught up in her own issues, I believe people with sexual abuse issues need to just stay single because its not fair to burden a partner with that kind of baggage, marriage was not ment to suck regardless of what other crazy people may say. Be a man and stand up to the pressure and abuse, I was in the international church of christ in college and I had a ninjutsu class that interfered with one service and this guy was laying on a huge guilt trip like I had commited murder, my roomate walked in and politly asked him to leave and he kept going on so he said im going to ask nice one more time then im going to remove you by force, he left but thats sometimes what it takes, watch for the wolves in sheeps clothing and if you have to throw down such is life."
WOW, you pretty much summed up my best understanding on this topic! One thing I have faced is in this marriage where I have been the one to suffer for wife's sexual/emotional abandonment is the response "Well it takes two to tango, marriage problems are usually both people's fauly". Well thank you very much. What a cad you would be to visit a sister in Christ in the hospital,black and blue for the third time lately of wife-beating and say "Hon, you know there's always blame on both sides; what did you do to cause him to beat you this time?"
I think at this point I have some blame. I'm refusing to let go of the "dream" and keep hoping that God would cure her. I haven't been disciplined to let go,take the pain so that I can realistically move on to a better future.
