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I m wondering why you don t want therapy,I m sorry if I misunderstood that part. Medication is only to help with the symtoms,but does not "heal" you.Please find a good Christian therapist to help you with your depression and suicidal thoughts. I love you as a person and don t want you to do...

i m glad you got help with it ar a fairly young age. I was diagnosed in 2013 while going thru a divorce. I m now close to 50 and seeing a good therapist.May God bless you in your journey