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  1. ValleyGal

    Christian men and purity. Males only answer the poll, women feel free to comment.

    I think this discussion needs to be had in the context of access to inappropriate contentography as well. High school students are viewing it in English class! It's not just the men, either. Girls view it too, which further demeans their sense of self, and they come to expect to be treated the same as the women...
  2. ValleyGal

    Social Justice versus Biblical Justice

    The problem of all being fundamentally equal before the law and judged using the same standards is that laws are interpreted with bias based on who we are and what we represent. Take a court with 12 jurors trying a cop for unjustly shooting a black man who was racially profiled. The shooting was...
  3. ValleyGal

    Problems in my marriage

    I think it's great if you can go to a counsellor. They can help you with setting some boundaries in your marriage. Your husband has a responsibility to you and for his children, and he is not living up to that responsibility. If he is a believer, he is not living up to his Christian obligation...
  4. ValleyGal

    How do I make my wife feel loved when I don’t love her anymore?

    Loving someone like a friend does not include holding resentment towards them. If you resent a friend, that friend is not going to hang around you for long. No one wants to be around someone who resents them. So... I kind of question whether you really do love her like a friend. If you want to...
  5. ValleyGal

    Loving Your Enemies

    Your neighbour has cameras on your house? For the purpose of watching you or are they simply aimed in your direction because they have lots of cameras to protect their own home? If they are doing it in order to watch you, that is a violation of privacy and you can file a complaint to their...
  6. ValleyGal

    This can't be normal when arguing

    You need to leave, make your way to a women's shelter, and report these threats to the police - not only for your own safety, but for your children. They are children who are witnessing abuse, and that is not acceptable; it is a child protection matter and it is up to you to protect them from...
  7. ValleyGal

    Should we continue courting or break up?

    Anyone who treats customer service reps, waiters, and others with the disrespect he does, you should run from, fast and far. That is how he will treat you. He is already treating you that way by ridiculing your weight. That's not okay. We teach others how to treat us, by what we do and don't...
  8. ValleyGal

    wedding vows

    If a couple lives together in a marriage-like union, it culminates after a year or two (depending on where you live) in common-law marriage. The problem with that is, you have to live in sin in order to be considered common-law. In the Bible, they absolutely did have vows. They were likely...
  9. ValleyGal

    Was I too harsh?

    It sounds to me like your mom is feeling alone, lonely, alienated and disillusioned with life. She's in a hard situation and needs to experience connection with someone who loves her even in her misery. It's really hard for some of us to struggle through life and watch others skate through it...
  10. ValleyGal

    The Right Thing

    The book "Boundaries" by Cloud and Townsend provides an excellent, scripture-based reasoning for not allowing people like your husband to control you. It is up to you to change that dynamic, and Cloud and Townsend help you to understand how you can do that respectfully. Please read the whole...
  11. ValleyGal

    How can I improve the relationship with my older sister?

    I had a similar relationship with my older sister, who always had to be right (even when she was wrong), who criticized, condescended, and bullied her way around me all my life... she then started telling my young child that I made bad decisions in life, was unsuccessful, didn't know anything...
  12. ValleyGal

    Wife disrespected me

    I don't believe this is a matter of impropriety or the appearance of evil. Rather, it is about the OP's faith in his wife's integrity. Something is wrong in the marriage - either she is indeed interested in this guy, or the OP has jealousy and mistrust issues, expecting the worst just because...
  13. ValleyGal

    How to disagree lovingly and respectfully?

    When you have two polar opposite views, and two people who are deeply entrenched in those views, they won't be able to meet in the middle. People will have unresolvable conflicts, and the way to navigate them is to find out how they became entrenched in their view, what they are protecting by...
  14. ValleyGal

    Marriage

    Imo, it is not enough to commit to each other before God. That can be done by anyone who decides on an exclusive dating relationship, because God is everywhere. Everywhere is "before God". I believe God is all about covenant. The covenant is multifaceted with verbal declaration to the community...
  15. ValleyGal

    What would you say are the benefits of being a Christian?

    I was once asked (about my faith) "what if you are wrong?" My answer was that if I am wrong about eternal life, then the life I live now is enough, as long as Jesus is in it. The benefit of hope, just as joined2krist has said, and of knowing Jesus, just as Willie T has said. It's about having...
  16. ValleyGal

    Conflicts with mother over career

    Honouring your mother does not mean obeying her, as you would when you were a child. You are almost an adult, and choosing a career is one of the first adult choices you need to make, almost like a rite of passage. You might want to do both choices. Go to college while you are young and have a...
  17. ValleyGal

    Marriage/Reconciliation Question

    An interesting thing no one has brought up yet is the fact that divorcing one wife, marrying another, and then divorcing her to reconcile with the first wife, is actually an abomination to God (Deut 24). Granted it is the husband who married again here, but isn't the principle the same? And...
  18. ValleyGal

    Marriage/Reconciliation Question

    You were divorced from your first wife, meaning you are no longer "one". That's what divorce is - to divide what was once one. You married someone else. You are divorcing your second wife. Do not reconcile in a marriage-like situation until you and your second wife are divorced. Then pursue a...
  19. ValleyGal

    Deep Cry of the Heart: What No One Wants to Talk About

    Your daughter is in trauma counselling and that's great! But you have also been traumatized. You've been betrayed by a friend, you've heard your daughter's story (and will likely continue to hear it), you might even carry some guilt for not recognizing it sooner or being able to protect her from...
  20. ValleyGal

    Has Anyone Here Been Through Chapter 7 Bankruptcy?

    Nanook, I'm not familiar with American bankruptcy laws, but have been through one where I live. During my bankruptcy, they seized two years of my income taxes and all other government benefits. That was hard, but I was used to it - the government kept my cheques anyway because it was for...