feel life will never get bettrr for me..trying to stay strong

Far Side Of the Moon said:

I hate thinking about reality..my reality, 24 still in school, turning 25 .. And have no friends no significant others, no real life experiences....

Excepted messed up ones, fears of loneliness, I just wonder why was I given life if it was gonna be like this?

I just feel like I've been lied to, god doesn't care doesnt care the way I thought he did.. Yes he didmed for us..but children are still being abused, still starving, still dying...

If he suffered so much 3,000 yrs ago..why is it so much to ask to just shoe a little kindness and not make life miserable for people...

No one asked to be here, the moment he created people it intervened with our free will... BC if I were asked I would have said no..an emphatic no...

I'm just disappointed in god so much so ..i dont expect much out of Him except to SI on his throne and watch people starve br abused and die.

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These charges - and so many more - I fired at Jesus as well - even cursing Him for sitting upstairs with is angels and those 'selected souls' enjoying Himself but leaving me in the pit. However it was my darkness - my understanding of God - which was all wrong and stood in the way of experiencing God's loving truth in my suffering reality.

Things are not as you think - God is not an uncaring monster and doesn't bring us the great desolation - rather our walk with the deceiver - satan - that ugly red dragon full of blasphemous names - is the one who causes our suffering to be so great.

So for as long you think God is guilty of bringing suffering upon humanity - you crucify Him and your good life you can have in and with Him - just as the Jews did 2000 years ago - for such are terrible lies designed by the destroyer to keep us away from being in God's loving truth.

When you look at the Cross do you see a guilty god or an innocent One? This is the way to understand God rightly, for Jesus said if you have seen me then you have seen The Father as well, for Me and The Father are One.

The truth is that God suffered all wrong committed and all the wrong life suffered because of the wrong living within His offspring. Isaiah 53 tells us the truth about that.

If you want to be helped by Jesus then you have to lay down your miserable life and take up your new life in faith and trust that The Son of God will certainly do as He promised and give His children good life like He says.

This is why things are so hard in your life now, for you have been removed/stolen hijacked from the truth of your existence into the kingdom of satan's lies, bringing you terrible misery and suffering because bad life is no good at all. To let such a life die by believing the truth of God instead of the lies hurting is the way to go.

Peace.

(I wrote a poem about the reality you are currently in, and how was saved from being like that.)

Twice Blinded

What destroyer, where would he be?
The deadly snake bite I didn't see!
Still part of myself was dragged away,
held captive there by wicked sway,
all the lies sown in my soul,
day by day taking control,
feeding my life lies and misery,
my good times became history.

Bringing thoughts and feelings around,
which are in no way sound,
rather inner kings cruel and strong,
those worldly ways so very wrong,
raising Babylon in all her might,
holding me captive in my fright,
denying grace to rule my ways,
mocking God in His face.

Horse hooves trampling my soul,
grass-hoppers devouring all,
scorpion stings stinging,
famine upon famine bringing,
brimstone burn everything to ash,
massive hailstones me to smash,
the darkness ever growing close,
for the goats got me by the nose.

So working for another's bread,
God's loving truth I forget,
thinking my world would always stink,
driving my good life to the brink,
yet there at the bottom of my might,
I finally began to see the light..,
..Jesus, whom I bring so much grief,
when I have that liar as my chief!

And so The Truth did shine on me!
His Spirit alive in my heart to see!
Oh what blinding light I saw there?
God's goodness displayed everywhere!
His love washing me white as snow!
His loving truth inside my life to flow!
Oh Lamb of God forever to be praised!
For from the dead I have been raised!

You are disappointed in God, but why? For letting humanity live when He could have destroyed Adam and Eve the day they sinned? For choosing to save sinners of His own free grace by the suffering and death of His beloved son? For acting in ways you don't understand?

God is not ignorant of the sufferings of humanity; He never promised us sinners a good and painless life, and if anyone lives in comfort it is by His grace. Those kids who are suffering and dying, they tell you something, don't they? They tell you what kind of world we live in, and they make you feel sympathy/empathy/love. Instead of questioning God you should trust Him. If you want to go deeper with these kinds of issues, then just read the book of Job.

Far Side Of the Moon said:

He never asked humanity if they wanted to live to begin with...some people live horrific lives.... That I my issue..he just created with no forethought..of who wanted to be here and who didnt...by not asking that's impeding on our free will..

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I'm sorry, but who are you to say that God created with no forethought?

Isaiah 46:10
"I make known the end from the beginning, from ancient times, what is still to come. I say, 'My purpose will stand, and I will do all that I please.'"

Since when was free will the most important thing to God? Was free will an issue when God allowed satan to destroy Job's life? No. The issue is always and will always be God's glory; the question is whether or not you will worship Him or talk down to Him as if you are better suited to be God.

Far Side Of the Moon said:

Whenever things are bad people attribute that to free will, I'm saying how can I have free will if I never asked to be here... If god asked me before hand I would have said no... I'm not saying I'm.better than him.. All I'm saying is ...if we truly have free will why didnt he ask us if we wanted to be here instead of plopping us here without choice...and gets made when some people commit suicide? BC they couldn't handle a life they never asked for...

And of course you'll say god is god...he doesn't need permission and your right, but that alone shows he interferred with our free will ..and its okay to place blame on humanity when its convient...thats a bit manipulative...
No one told god to make humans, no one asked to be here...so..everything that's happening is Gods responsibility...sorry but its true when you think about it.

But after re-reading your post I think you're right,glory is the most important thing to God...despite our feelings,wellbeing and even lives...which makes him completely egotistical... So I just wonder if he never got credit for healing people and whatnot if he'd still do it? It makes me think now... People who have good lives ..doesnt mean god loves them , God does it simply to show he's capable of mercy...so he just chooses anyone ...when it comes to punishment he chooses anyone...alll this seems like is a display of power...

I'm definitely not having kids...just so they're born in a world ruled by an egotistical god who cares more about his glory than if they eat or not.

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You forget that God is Holy, good, perfect, just, and righteous. If you knew God then you would be glad that His will is exalted above ours. His plan and purpose are far greater than whatever momentary comfort we desire; that's why Jesus went to the cross, and that's why He calls us to take up ours.

Maybe you should be less concerned with the "free" will of man and more concerned about the perfect will of God?

Far Side Of the Moon said:

People who have good lives ..doesnt mean god loves them , God does it simply to show he's capable of mercy...so he just chooses anyone ...when it comes to punishment he chooses anyone...alll this seems like is a display of power...

I'm definitely not having kids...just so they're born in a world ruled by an egotistical god who cares more about his glory than if they eat or not.

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If someone's having a good life, it is good to be grateful for it and thank God too, but God doesn't throw gold on us. Many wealthy people have gotten where they are with different means. Sometimes they work really hard and are very intelligent, and sometimes they cheat, lie and manipulate their way to where they are.

Just like when some are poor and struggling, I don't believe they are punished by God. We should NOT look at these differences among us in a way that creates more hate and resentment - be it towards each other or God himself. No, Christ told us to love one another. So if you can help someone who is suffering, help them. You can't force anyone to do the same for you or to anyone else, and God will not force people either, but you can do it to others. We can be in touch with His will - to love one another - by simply being the active part in it, even when others don't seem to care for us. And if more of us did, the less people would have problems. If you're familiar with the serenity prayer, it fits here too. It's about basically accepting things we can't change, but also asking for strength to do what we can to the things we can change - while asking for wisdom so we could separate these two from each other.

If we stare at what others have when we or someone else doesn't have it, and make it an issue about God, we are equating God with money and worldly coziness. That's exactly what He is not about. Christ talked about this. He's about the freedom in spirit and the promised life in the end - which we don't even deserve. I have faith that those who have been reduced to nothing in this world, the exact people you speak about, will get rewarded. Blessed are those who mourn, and blessed are the poor in spirit.

And if I believe that God is love, as Paul said, I know that my love and my sympathies are nothing compared to God's love, and I can have hope. Not only for myself, but also for the people who suffer and have nothing. And we should give to those who have nothing. It can be hard nowadays when even some charity organizations can't be exactly trusted, and plenty of good will is abused, but giving can be something small in everyday life too. I do know He doesn't force us. While He doesn't force us, I believe He can guide us. Sometimes we can rebel against that guidance without knowing it, and sometimes we just have to wait. Meanwhile, it's certainly enough when we do the best we can, no matter how cozy or miserable we will be in the end. I do not believe in an evil trickster God. I see plenty of evil, often being a part of it myself, but I know why it is. Greed, hate, lies, neglect, loveless consequences of incompassion. Exactly the opposite of God and Christ for me, and that's why I hope I'll never let go of Him.

You don't have to have kids. Your choice.

Also, I hope you're getting help for your depression. What we discussed earlier privately still stands.

it is kind of difficult to say who decided they will be here since the deepest part of us is God himself. I think this reality is one of those "either everything matters or nothing does" places. I think part of being a creature is that sometimes it sucks. it is pretty vain of its own. it only has meaning if people really are as important as Jesus seems to indicate.

if our free will does not matter then we don't for we are our free wills. if only God is important then only God should exist.

I think life would become a lot better if I could deeply enjoy becoming what i want to be and to more fully not be what i don't wanna be.

You know you maybe just need a really close friend to help keep you on track. If you want someone to support you, you can message me on here, and I can friend you on facebook (if you have one).

Far Side Of the Moon said:

I hate thinking about reality..my reality, 24 still in school, turning 25 .. And have no friends no significant others, no real life experiences....

Excepted messed up ones, fears of loneliness, I just wonder why was I given life if it was gonna be like this?

I just feel like I've been lied to, god doesn't care doesnt care the way I thought he did.. Yes he didmed for us..but children are still being abused, still starving, still dying...

If he suffered so much 3,000 yrs ago..why is it so much to ask to just shoe a little kindness and not make life miserable for people...

No one asked to be here, the moment he created people it intervened with our free will... BC if I were asked I would have said no..an emphatic no...

I'm just disappointed in god so much so ..i dont expect much out of Him except to SI on his throne and watch people starve br abused and die.

Click to expand...

Oh, my dear friend, I am sorry But truly I say, look up! The LORD's hand is upon you, and he has given you life. Walk outside, do you not admire the beauty of the world? It is for your eyes to see! Do you not admire the taste of food? Do you not admire that you may wear clothes? That at the end of every day the LORD gives every man on Earth a time when they may lay their head down and rest? Life is full of struggles, yet without struggles, what is there to be thankful for at all, there is no good without evil. There is much in life to be thankful for. Be thankful that you live at all. There is no such thing as non existence. Could you imagine what it would be like? No breath, no thought, nothing but a void of blackness, yet if you see blackness, than blackness is something you can describe, therefore blackness exists, the void exists, and you never BEGUN to exist, because you have always existed, but you were once a part of God. Now God is a part of you, and you are his temple, and in his temple is an altar of incense which burns perpetually. So let your incense burn up with those four ingredients of Love, Thanks, faithfulness, and praise, and your spirit shall be lifted, even if your body is weak.