anyone have any insight?

razzelflabben · Apr 28, 2016

Well, a quick update for anyone listening, our daughter will be home soon and will get to come home for leave which is bigger than most anyone will grasp given I am not allowed to say what is going on with her. It also means that her brothers will come for a visit, which will be stressful to say the least, but we will trust God that it is in His purpose and will. Not sure how to handle it, one of her brothers wants to "disown" me because of things he has made up in his head...but, God is working, so praying something will get through to the kids and that my husband and I can be faithful to Live out Christ and not our own feelings and weariness.

Catherineanne · Apr 28, 2016

razzelflabben said:
Well, a quick update for anyone listening, our daughter will be home soon and will get to come home for leave which is bigger than most anyone will grasp given I am not allowed to say what is going on with her. It also means that her brothers will come for a visit, which will be stressful to say the least, but we will trust God that it is in His purpose and will. Not sure how to handle it, one of her brothers wants to "disown" me because of things he has made up in his head...but, God is working, so praying something will get through to the kids and that my husband and I can be faithful to Live out Christ and not our own feelings and weariness.

God is good.

When I was gardening yesterday I prayed specifically for this; for your daughter to be able to come home.

I have a daughter; if I wanted her home and she couldn't come it would be heartbreaking, so this seemed a good place to start. xxx

razzelflabben · Apr 28, 2016

Catherineanne said:
God is good.

When I was gardening yesterday I prayed specifically for this; for your daughter to be able to come home.

I have a daughter; if I wanted her home and she couldn't come it would be heartbreaking, so this seemed a good place to start. xxx

she has needed to come home for a long time now...in fact, her Sargent is apparently the one that is making things move faster to get her here for her own good. She gets scared that by things moving faster, she won't get to come home, but it seems that Sarg is determined to get her home and start the healing process for her. It's really comforting to know that some of the superiors in the Army are looking out for her.

Catherineanne · Apr 29, 2016

razzelflabben said:
she has needed to come home for a long time now...in fact, her Sargent is apparently the one that is making things move faster to get her here for her own good. She gets scared that by things moving faster, she won't get to come home, but it seems that Sarg is determined to get her home and start the healing process for her. It's really comforting to know that some of the superiors in the Army are looking out for her.

That is very good to know; I hope you see her soon.

((((hugs))))

razzelflabben · May 26, 2016

WEll, to update, we survived, just barely, but we did survive. Without going into too much detail, our third, who is giving us the most problems and who is now living under demonic influence was so out of control when everyone was home...it was really, really bad. We did survive though...our daughter was fine as long as I was mommy, but as soon as I would reveal that I was human that is show emotion, thought, opinion, etc., I was in big trouble. I kind of get it given what she is going through, but am beyond tired of not being allowed to be a human being.

In the meantime, we published my first murder mystery novel. Everyone on my husband's fb was thrilled and yet, we have sold a grand total of 6 books. I am so discouraged. I mean, it would be one thing if people read it and didn't like it, but no one is reading it. Of those that have, they say they love it, in fact, I have gotten some really great compliments but like everything else in my life, I have been told no, you can't do something you are good at and enjoy...so frustrated and so fighting to find motivation again. I know it is still early but with all the family drama and now this, oh and I didn't mention that my husband found out that he will not get any more raises at work unless he becomes management, but here is the kicker, they won't even look at him for management because he isn't one of the "good old boys".

WEll, believe it or not, I am relatively at peace today, still trying to recover from the whole kids thing, still struggling with what God wants me to do with the gifts He has given, but confident that He is my life and breath and that is enough.

razzelflabben · Jun 17, 2016

I am so ready to be done with this life....just saying, I am beyond tired, beyond hurt, beyond...I can't even say, and I hurt so bad I wouldn't say most of what I know anyway cause I know that most couldn't handle it. Sometimes it seems like every second of the day I am asking God to take it all from me, the problem though is that I can let Him have it but I can't erase the memories from my mind.

On top of more kid drama this week, the like of which most of you all will never thankfully understand, I go to remember the day our son died in vivid detail (trying to help one of the kids work through it) and some things that I have purposed to take captive so that they don't pull me under had to be brought up again. Details that...

And that is just one of many things...so, my husband takes off time to deal with the weekend, and our daughter wants to come home, which would be fine except there were traffic issues and once here, she wants to spend time with one of the sibs that is causing the most pain which then makes her angry and hostile and she doesn't realize it and takes most of it out on me. Oh joy....well they are home, going now to try to cope the best I can.

razzelflabben · Oct 10, 2016

For anyone who has been following and/or praying, we had an amazing weekend, the first in a very very long time.

I can't go into a lot of details but not only were be blessed abundantly by a new friend and brother in Christ but he has been instrumental in drawing our daughter back to God by telling her everything we have been telling her but she refused to hear. She still needs a lot of healing but wow, she is so much like the daughter I remember before all this happened. She is coming HOME!!!!! Praise the Lord. The boys are still very much a problem, but one thing at a time and the joy and hope in my heart could not be any greater or I would burst...our little girl is finding the promised healing and that is worthy of a day for just praise and worship of our Lord and King and then the added bonus is just icing on the cake. Thanks to everyone who prayed and please continue to pray for her and our boys.

Catherineanne · Oct 10, 2016

razzelflabben said:
For anyone who has been following and/or praying, we had an amazing weekend, the first in a very very long time.

I can't go into a lot of details but not only were be blessed abundantly by a new friend and brother in Christ but he has been instrumental in drawing our daughter back to God by telling her everything we have been telling her but she refused to hear. She still needs a lot of healing but wow, she is so much like the daughter I remember before all this happened. She is coming HOME!!!!! Praise the Lord. The boys are still very much a problem, but one thing at a time and the joy and hope in my heart could not be any greater or I would burst...our little girl is finding the promised healing and that is worthy of a day for just praise and worship of our Lord and King and then the added bonus is just icing on the cake. Thanks to everyone who prayed and please continue to pray for her and our boys.

God is good!

Stay strong, R. x

faroukfarouk · Oct 10, 2016

razzelflabben said:
For anyone who has been following and/or praying, we had an amazing weekend, the first in a very very long time.

I can't go into a lot of details but not only were be blessed abundantly by a new friend and brother in Christ but he has been instrumental in drawing our daughter back to God by telling her everything we have been telling her but she refused to hear. She still needs a lot of healing but wow, she is so much like the daughter I remember before all this happened. She is coming HOME!!!!! Praise the Lord. The boys are still very much a problem, but one thing at a time and the joy and hope in my heart could not be any greater or I would burst...our little girl is finding the promised healing and that is worthy of a day for just praise and worship of our Lord and King and then the added bonus is just icing on the cake. Thanks to everyone who prayed and please continue to pray for her and our boys.

Glad you'll be having some quality time with her! :prayer:

razzelflabben · Oct 10, 2016

she is back on base now...but we will see her soon I am sure.

faroukfarouk · Oct 10, 2016

razzelflabben said:
she is back on base now...but we will see her soon I am sure.

Let's hope her biggest learning curve has been the daily, prayerful Bible reading habit, right?

razzelflabben · Oct 10, 2016

faroukfarouk said:
Let's hope her biggest learning curve has been the daily, prayerful Bible reading habit, right?

she totally pulled away from God and everyone loving her. In fact, she said that she had been spending too much effort on surrounding herself with people who could protect her and keep her safe instead of trusting God and relying on Him...she now knows that is wrong and that she needs to stop being mad at God and start trusting Him again. It's a very long story that I am not at liberty to tell.

razzelflabben · Oct 11, 2016

we had a bit of a let down during our time of rejoicing with news that my husbands father is not well...but still rejoicing over the first of what we hope is many miracles our family needs.

razzelflabben · Nov 11, 2016

can I just be done? No worries...just upset and hurt and angry and tired of being everyones scapegoat

razzelflabben · Dec 16, 2016

I need to talk a moment and everyone I could call would rather talk than listen, so even though it is cryptic and I don't expect any responses I will talk.

christmas is difficult no matter what. Our son is gone and will never celebrate with us again...but to make matters worse, our youngest doesn't care about Christmas, our eldest will work in another state, our third is (the one demonized) currently in another country in dire straights and won't let us help no matter cause he well....not going to say publically. Our daughter does so far get to come home so that is good. But she is moody to say it politely because of her issues (slowly dealing with them) which means I am afraid to say anything for fear of being accused of things that never happened. Which all brings up my childhood when I could never do anything right. Even to the point of being in trouble for playing with my cousins which are now on FB and posting, not knowing the pain that brings up to me and the doubts I have and fears that I will do something wrong and thus hurt someone.

Then, a friend calls and talks for hours about her "issues" and doesn't listen and acts like she knows everything...then she calls to tell me about her daughter having a job invented for her because she is so good at her job. Now, I am thrilled for her daughter, she is a great kid I love dearly, but that brings up the other aspect of my issues right now. See, I was gifted and called to my profession. Everyone knew it...long story...but I was refused a job. In fact, I was told point blank that I was the most qualified for the job but I would never get it...this continued through the church as well. As soon as I started teaching, I would be told no...even my husband and I got asked to teach in our current church. Several people talked about how we were both gifted to teach. But another long story and we were asked not to teach and told that it wasn't our calling so now, we have nothing to do at the church either.

On top of all of this, is health issues. In fact, last week I was so encouraged because I started a new herb and for the first time in my life by body was working like it should and I started losing weight and had energy for the day. Only to discover that it was driving my blood pressure up and so now on top of everything else I have to battle getting my blood pressure back down. I refuse to go to the dr. to do so because that is what sent me over the edge to begin with. The Dr. would not listen to what I was telling them, gave me the wrong med and it literally almost killed me and they didn't care, they still wouldn't listen. So I took myself out of their care and have made huge progress fighting back and still not enough. So now I have this issue trying to restore my bodies balance.

No money for Christmas presents or dinner since we only have one income and it isn't enough to take us out of poverty...etc. I know without doubt we are blessed beyond measure and I would be the first to say that we are, but I am also tired and don't want to keep trying. I am beat...I have no purpose and long to serve...

Okay, so I said it...time to wipe away the tears and move on...God is without doubt a good God and He will love me no matter, if only I can honor Him by being worthy to be called His child.

razzelflabben · Dec 27, 2016

Merry Christmas to me....not only did I get sick and not only was I constantly reminded of all the abuse, but apparently now I am evil and destroyed by son's life by calling him a name I never use (even our youngest laughs at the thought of me using the name much less the sentiment) and I somehow want power over our daughter by liking some guys she brings home better than I like others, all the while saying, X is a fine young man...I can't win no matter and I am tired enough to kill myself (NO I WONT...God calls us to persevere) but I am just that fed up with all the lies and false accusations and nonsense...I am tired of not even being worthy of the air I breath....

okay, rant is done, some crying and then I will see what I can get done today as I ask God a million times over today to take what isn't mine and give me rest from all the lies.

razzelflabben · Jan 4, 2017

well that was short lived...our daughter is back to running and taking it out on me...I am so fed up with all of this...I am beyond tired of taking everyones (word I shouldn't say) I can't win no matter what I say or do or don't say or do...

faroukfarouk · Jan 9, 2017

razzelflabben said:
well that was short lived...our daughter is back to running and taking it out on me...I am so fed up with all of this...I am beyond tired of taking everyones (word I shouldn't say) I can't win no matter what I say or do or don't say or do...

Hi; there. I find that Philippians 2.5-11 is a passage that helps put other things in perspective as we focus on what the Lord endured.

Even as family or friends seem to mouth off sometimes...

razzelflabben · Jan 9, 2017

faroukfarouk said:
Hi; there. I find that Philippians 2.5-11 is a passage that helps put other things in perspective as we focus on what the Lord endured.

Even as family or friends seem to mouth off sometimes...

thanks and amen...I am doing better now, still struggling some with knowing truth from lie but getting there little by little. This last one was bad enough my husband got involved and told me to let it go because some of our kids were simply delusional at the moment. That went a long way to help me figure out truth from lies so that I can cling to truth and discard lies. I don't ever what to cover for myself so to speak, but false accusations are just that and have to be treated as such. The trick is knowing which is truth and which is lie especially as we humble ourselves enough to take the pain of others on our own shoulders. What a wonderful reminder of God's love and His call on our lives...again, thanks

faroukfarouk · Jan 9, 2017

razzelflabben said:
thanks and amen...I am doing better now, still struggling some with knowing truth from lie but getting there little by little. This last one was bad enough my husband got involved and told me to let it go because some of our kids were simply delusional at the moment. That went a long way to help me figure out truth from lies so that I can cling to truth and discard lies. I don't ever what to cover for myself so to speak, but false accusations are just that and have to be treated as such. The trick is knowing which is truth and which is lie especially as we humble ourselves enough to take the pain of others on our own shoulders. What a wonderful reminder of God's love and His call on our lives...again, thanks

James's Epistle talks a lot about the tongue.

Sometimes being a parent must be a bit like being a Canadian diplomat: smiles and silence in 2 languages.

anyone have any insight?

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