Parenting By Faith

pk4yahweh said:

Hello everyone,

I haven't been in here for a while - but when I need prayer I know what group to turn to.

For those who do not know me - my wife and I have been pastoring for 20 years now and we have 2 beautiful teenage daughters (17 & 13). We have been raising them by faith with strong Biblical principles since the day they were both born. We homeschooled our oldest until she was halfway through 10th grade. At that time she began to strongly express desires to attend public high school to combat loneliness.

We set guidelines.
We thought we had taught her well and that she had a firm Biblical foundation.

Last week ( as we near the conclusion of her Junior year) - she has expressed an attraction to an unsaved boy in her grade and wants to date him. She confessed to us that she had already given away her first kiss to him and that they have been talking marriage.

After our initial outburst - we have spent the last week in turmoil as we attempted to turn her heart away from this young man. She refuses to listen to anything we have to say - and is insistent that God doesn't care about her and that this boy does.

My wife and I are broken and in need of prayer support. Tonight we have caved in and allowed her to date this boy (while vocalizing our strong displeasure and creating a new set of rules). She is 17 and we cannot lock her up in an ivory tower. All we now know to do is to trust God - keep our eye on her as best we can - and pray.

Please pray for us as we feel like we are losing our minds.

PK

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Why not convince her to turn his heart to Christ?
I would make it clear to both of them the importance of not being unequally yoked.
Myself I never rule out that God places people in our lives for his purpose, and sharing the good News is our purpose.

It's not a easy task,when it is your Child involved,but Her respect for you along with her obedience is based on the love of Christ she sees in you as her example.

God Bless I will be praying for your peace of mind.
I have a 21 year old daughter myself and have made a few mistakes along the way.

Praying, PK.

Instead of bombarding you guys with scriptures that you already know well and teach. How about some quotes from some of our best teachers that may be appropriate for your daughter's situation? I will quote just two scriptures and start here with Bro. Hagin....


Kenneth E. Hagin says... It's not enough to know that God understands and cares. If you want to be free from your cares, you must do what God said to do about them: You MUST put your cares over into God's hands. I've done that. God has my cares. He's figured it all out, and He's working it all out. And I'm shouting while He's doing it! God is doing the work, and I'm shouting as I, with all confidence rest in Him.

Jerry Savelle says... Casting the care of your problems on to the Lord and not taking them back isn’t always an easy thing to do. However, if you do not cast your cares on God, you will hinder Him exalting you above your circumstances or problems. The Bible says that the devil is seeking those he can devour. One of the ways he seeks to devour you is by getting (you) to take on the care of your situation so that you are consumed with it. When you do cast your care on the Lord and enter into His rest, it activates the power of God to work in, through the situation, and allows Him to bring miracles and victory. He doesn’t want you to take on the care. To do that means that you are constantly talking about the problem, thinking about the problem, worried about the problem, and in your mind, there doesn’t appear to be any way out! No rest.

Frederick K.C. Price says...
If you do not cast all of your cares on Him, you will have to carry the burden. The burden is real, and it will weigh you down until you can hardly walk. Pain is real. Fear is real. As you carry all that mess on your back, you will be bent over, struggling down the road of life. You need to rest in Him. You can walk above the circumstances of life. That is walking by the Word and not by the senses. That is casting all your cares on God and taking Him at His Word. That is bringing the supernatural realm in to the natural realm.

Terri Copeland Pearsons says...
God cares for your children and He wants to help you be the best parent you can be! He will never leave you to "figure things out." God wants us to rest in Him and stop trying to solve our problems and start trusting in Him for our children. He wants us to stop doing the "working and the struggling" with our self-efforts, and cast those cares on to Him... and, then leave it in His hands and start "resting" in Him and believing in His grace toward us. He’s always speaking to your heart with guidance, warnings and encouragement. When you listen and then act on what you hear, parenting is a chain of adventures with you, your children and God.

Joseph Prince says...
When the apostle Peter wrote “casting all your care upon Him” he was talking about the continuous act of ALL your cares upon the Lord. As a care (problem) comes, God wants you to cast it on to Him instead of trying to solve a problem with our own self-efforts. That is the lifestyle He wants you to adopt. Why? The verse gives us the reason — “for He cares for you”. Beloved, trust your Father’s love for you. Cast your cares on Him and have no more sleepless nights! For when you do the work, (He rests), but when you give it to Him, He does the work and (You rest).

Keith Butler says...
When you allow worry, confusion, and care to govern your mind, you play right into the hand of the enemy. Then you will try to fix the problem with fleshly means, instead of working through the power that is only available through God's Word. So, if you make a decision right now, to roll every worry, every concern, and every fear over to God's care, put it in His hands and those strongholds have to bow. Yes, there is a personal battle we all have to deal with in the mind. However, the good news is the battle has already been won. Stop trying to fix the problem yourself. Give it to Him and enter into His rest.

Kenneth Copeland says... The whole Bible preaches against worry and fear because it was designed by Satan to produce stress, strain and death. So what are you supposed to do then with all the cares and concerns you have about your problems? God says you should "cast them all upon Him." All - not seventy-five percent of them. Not all of them except the ones about your kids. All of them! That's what you need to do with your worries. You need to cast them over on the Lord and not take them back. Let Him do the work as you enter into His rest. If Satan brings a worried thought to your mind, saying, "What if this terrible thing happens?" Then you can tell him to talk to God about it. It's in His hands, not mine, not yours!

Creflo Dollar says... Whether we are concerned about raising our family or other issues, worry never resolves anything. To receive God-kind of solutions, we must first cast our care (worry) on Him, knowing He cares for us. Only then will the magnitude of our problems start to decrease. As we leave our cares up to Him, our job is to only believe and trust Him to lead us to make the right decisions in whatever we may be facing. Therefore, casting our cares to Him is an issue of trust in Him. Now, we begin to do (our part) which is to labour to enter into His rest and receive His peace while trusting Him... to do His part.

Our prayers are with your family...

pk4yahweh said:

Hello everyone,

I haven't been in here for a while - but when I need prayer I know what group to turn to.

For those who do not know me - my wife and I have been pastoring for 20 years now and we have 2 beautiful teenage daughters (17 & 13). We have been raising them by faith with strong Biblical principles since the day they were both born. We homeschooled our oldest until she was halfway through 10th grade. At that time she began to strongly express desires to attend public high school to combat loneliness.

We set guidelines.
We thought we had taught her well and that she had a firm Biblical foundation.

Last week ( as we near the conclusion of her Junior year) - she has expressed an attraction to an unsaved boy in her grade and wants to date him. She confessed to us that she had already given away her first kiss to him and that they have been talking marriage.

After our initial outburst - we have spent the last week in turmoil as we attempted to turn her heart away from this young man. She refuses to listen to anything we have to say - and is insistent that God doesn't care about her and that this boy does.

My wife and I are broken and in need of prayer support. Tonight we have caved in and allowed her to date this boy (while vocalizing our strong displeasure and creating a new set of rules). She is 17 and we cannot lock her up in an ivory tower. All we now know to do is to trust God - keep our eye on her as best we can - and pray.

Please pray for us as we feel like we are losing our minds.

PK

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Your state is really painful. I may not have handled it any better.

Imo, 'firm biblical foundation' appears vague. Bible is Jesus' love rather than facts. Without Jesus' love bible has no meaning.

She says God does not care & the boy cares. So she doesn't know that the boy's care actually comes from Jesus & the boy is just a channel of Jesus' love & care that flows from his cross.

So her knowledge of love of Jesus appears to be inadequate.

Anyway, if she accepts him in marriage considering him 'already made holy by Jesus blood' (1 corin7:25), their marriage will be successful & he will come to Lord.

So in place of 'guidelines' 1cor7:25 can be explained to her.

pk4yahweh said:

Hello everyone,

I haven't been in here for a while - but when I need prayer I know what group to turn to.

For those who do not know me - my wife and I have been pastoring for 20 years now and we have 2 beautiful teenage daughters (17 & 13). We have been raising them by faith with strong Biblical principles since the day they were both born. We homeschooled our oldest until she was halfway through 10th grade. At that time she began to strongly express desires to attend public high school to combat loneliness.

We set guidelines.
We thought we had taught her well and that she had a firm Biblical foundation.

Last week ( as we near the conclusion of her Junior year) - she has expressed an attraction to an unsaved boy in her grade and wants to date him. She confessed to us that she had already given away her first kiss to him and that they have been talking marriage.

After our initial outburst - we have spent the last week in turmoil as we attempted to turn her heart away from this young man. She refuses to listen to anything we have to say - and is insistent that God doesn't care about her and that this boy does.

My wife and I are broken and in need of prayer support. Tonight we have caved in and allowed her to date this boy (while vocalizing our strong displeasure and creating a new set of rules). She is 17 and we cannot lock her up in an ivory tower. All we now know to do is to trust God - keep our eye on her as best we can - and pray.

Please pray for us as we feel like we are losing our minds.

PK

Click to expand...

Sometimes we worry. But Lord says,"Could your worry bring about any change? No. But if you believe that I worried for your children 2000 yrs back, things would start to change to the better & the best".

pk4yahweh said:

Hello everyone,

I haven't been in here for a while - but when I need prayer I know what group to turn to.

For those who do not know me - my wife and I have been pastoring for 20 years now and we have 2 beautiful teenage daughters (17 & 13). We have been raising them by faith with strong Biblical principles since the day they were both born. We homeschooled our oldest until she was halfway through 10th grade. At that time she began to strongly express desires to attend public high school to combat loneliness.

We set guidelines.
We thought we had taught her well and that she had a firm Biblical foundation.

Last week ( as we near the conclusion of her Junior year) - she has expressed an attraction to an unsaved boy in her grade and wants to date him. She confessed to us that she had already given away her first kiss to him and that they have been talking marriage.

After our initial outburst - we have spent the last week in turmoil as we attempted to turn her heart away from this young man. She refuses to listen to anything we have to say - and is insistent that God doesn't care about her and that this boy does.

My wife and I are broken and in need of prayer support. Tonight we have caved in and allowed her to date this boy (while vocalizing our strong displeasure and creating a new set of rules). She is 17 and we cannot lock her up in an ivory tower. All we now know to do is to trust God - keep our eye on her as best we can - and pray.

Please pray for us as we feel like we are losing our minds.

PK

Click to expand...

Having three daughters who are now 29,35, and 46 may I give you some advice. I too have been a pastor when these daughters were at home. We experienced everything just as you described. All three daughters turned in their teen age years. With a broken heart I tell you they are as carnal as can be. They all have lived with men, and one daughter has had three children out of wed lock, by two different men. One is married with four children and home schools her youngest two daughters, but is not in church at all. They all talk about God but no evidence they are saved, just talk.

I want you to reconsider putting her back in homeschool. Public school destroys everything you teach, EVERYTHING! If you do not take control now and win this battle now you will have lost all the ones in the future. Make a demand she resume homeschool period. Public school exposes your daughter to evolution, and ungodly teaching. We wish we had home schooled our daughters. We fought over school dances, and our youngest lied about where she was all the time, and her buddies lied and covered for her. The heart ach is far from over for our youngest 29 years old. We talk, but she still is dishonest with us.

I would not wish our experience to be yours. Please don't let what happened to us, happen to you. If you loose this battle the battle for her soul may be over, if you win this may be a good turning point for all of you. Pray, pray, but hold the line.

farout said:

Having three daughters who are now 29,35, and 46 may I give you some advice. I too have been a pastor when these daughters were at home. We experienced everything just as you described. All three daughters turned in their teen age years. With a broken heart I tell you they are as carnal as can be. They all have lived with men, and one daughter has had three children out of wed lock, by two different men. One is married with four children and home schools her youngest two daughters, but is not in church at all. They all talk about God but no evidence they are saved, just talk.

I want you to reconsider putting her back in homeschool. Public school destroys everything you teach, EVERYTHING! If you do not take control now and win this battle now you will have lost all the ones in the future. Make a demand she resume homeschool period. Public school exposes your daughter to evolution, and ungodly teaching. We wish we had home schooled our daughters. We fought over school dances, and our youngest lied about where she was all the time, and her buddies lied and covered for her. The heart ach is far from over for our youngest 29 years old. We talk, but she still is dishonest with us.

I would not wish our experience to be yours. Please don't let what happened to us, happen to you. If you loose this battle the battle for her soul may be over, if you win this may be a good turning point for all of you. Pray, pray, but hold the line.

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Evolution is a fact and so a godly truth. Yu can choose not to believe it if you want to, but that is in no way means it isn't factual. it is supported with mountains of scientific evidence. the purpose of science is for us to test our beliefs, no matter how sacred they may be. The biblical cosmology has been debunked since the 16th century. What you are doing is setting up your religious beliefs as beyond question and then using these as the sole criterion upon which to judge the validity of scientific work and findings. That is an illegitimate use of science.

I find myself in a Daughter problem and could use some prayers as well.

My 21 year old girl lives with my ex wife, my daughter has started dating a 37 year old man.
I will not condone it nor give my time to meet this man.
He walked up to her in Walmart and gave her his number,of course he has a teenage daughter himself is a folk singer living with friends.
My ex wife has given her blessing to this ,but my sons have not and like myself are out spoken in this mess.

PK. My advice that witnessing to the young man ,has become a big challenge for me to practice what I preach.
I have looked at his profile on Facebook and do not want to be found alone with him for now.

A few more hairs have fallen out off my head,and what's left is turning grey.

now faith said:

I find myself in a Daughter problem and could use some prayers as well.

My 21 year old girl lives with my ex wife, my daughter has started dating a 37 year old man.
I will not condone it nor give my time to meet this man.
He walked up to her in Walmart and gave her his number. Of course he has a teenage daughter himself is a folk singer living with friends.
My ex wife has given her blessing to this ,but my sons have not and like myself are out spoken in this mess.

PK. My advice that witnessing to the young man ,has become a big challenge for me to practice what I preach.
I have looked at his profile on Facebook and do not want to be found alone with him for now.

A few more hairs have fallen out off my head, and what's left is turning grey.

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Our prayers go out to your family also, John.

Hoghead1 said:

Evolution is a fact and so a godly truth. Yu can choose not to believe it if you want to, but that is in no way means it isn't factual. it is supported with mountains of scientific evidence. the purpose of science is for us to test our beliefs, no matter how sacred they may be. The biblical cosmology has been debunked since the 16th century. What you are doing is setting up your religious beliefs as beyond question and then using these as the sole criterion upon which to judge the validity of scientific work and findings. That is an illegitimate use of science.

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Don't go there Hoghead1. This thread is not about "going off topic" and drifting into debating about evolution. The gentleman that made the comment about evolution was just sharing his (comment) on homeschooling and shared some of the same experiences with the OP and his family and... BTW, right or wrong, I would just about guess that every Word/Faith member here do not believe we came or evolved from cute little monkeys.

Please go to the proper forum and share your religious beliefs and share your mountain of scientific evidence to them. Everyone posted here has concerns and prayers about a request from the OP. Where was yours? It's noticed that you had no comment to the OP and his need which is what this thread is all about. How sad!

Forum Watchman (self-proclaimed)

hhodgson said:

Don't go there Hoghead1. This thread is not about "going off topic" and drifting into debating about evolution. The gentleman that made the comment about evolution was just sharing his (comment) on homeschooling and shared some of the same experiences with the OP and his family and... BTW, right or wrong, I would just about guess that every Word/Faith member here do not believe we came or evolved from cute little monkeys.

Please go to the proper forum and share your religious beliefs and share your mountain of scientific evidence to them. Everyone posted here has concerns and prayers about a request from the OP. Where was yours? It's noticed that you had no comment to the OP and his need which is what this thread is all about. How sad!

Forum Watchman (self-proclaimed)

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Sorry, if I posted at the wrong forum. I have had this trouble before and I have complained more than once to the nods. Posts crop up in my mailbox without a definite thread title on them. That's the problem. I am in a thread on evolution and creation, and that is where I thought this was from.

Hoghead1 said:

Sorry, if I posted at the wrong forum. I have had this trouble before and I have complained more than once to the nods. Posts crop up in my mailbox without a definite thread title on them. That's the problem. I am in a thread on evolution and creation, and that is where I thought this was from.

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And thank you for being a true gentleman. I notice you are in the heat of things on those other forums. Way over my head. I am sure that you can agree with me that the full meaning of His Love for us needs to fully manifest through us in our walk of love everywhere we go and everyone we meet.

In my CB days my handle was BossHog so we share one thing in common. Were both "hogs."

Thank you...

farout said:

Having three daughters who are now 29,35, and 46 may I give you some advice. I too have been a pastor when these daughters were at home. We experienced everything just as you described. All three daughters turned in their teen age years. With a broken heart I tell you they are as carnal as can be. They all have lived with men, and one daughter has had three children out of wed lock, by two different men. One is married with four children and home schools her youngest two daughters, but is not in church at all. They all talk about God but no evidence they are saved, just talk.

I want you to reconsider putting her back in homeschool. Public school destroys everything you teach, EVERYTHING! If you do not take control now and win this battle now you will have lost all the ones in the future. Make a demand she resume homeschool period. Public school exposes your daughter to evolution, and ungodly teaching. We wish we had home schooled our daughters. We fought over school dances, and our youngest lied about where she was all the time, and her buddies lied and covered for her. The heart ach is far from over for our youngest 29 years old. We talk, but she still is dishonest with us.

I would not wish our experience to be yours. Please don't let what happened to us, happen to you. If you loose this battle the battle for her soul may be over, if you win this may be a good turning point for all of you. Pray, pray, but hold the line.

Click to expand...

Could you state what Jesus could do for children by His grace?

Hoghead1 said:

Evolution is a fact and so a godly truth. Yu can choose not to believe it if you want to, but that is in no way means it isn't factual. it is supported with mountains of scientific evidence. the purpose of science is for us to test our beliefs, no matter how sacred they may be. The biblical cosmology has been debunked since the 16th century. What you are doing is setting up your religious beliefs as beyond question and then using these as the sole criterion upon which to judge the validity of scientific work and findings. That is an illegitimate use of science.

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Maybe some Christian did injure your feelings at some point in life.

Evolution does not love us.

We all need love.

Jesus loved us by His death.

Why not look to Jesus who died for you & us?

Hoghead1 said:

Evolution is a fact and so a godly truth. Yu can choose not to believe it if you want to, but that is in no way means it isn't factual. it is supported with mountains of scientific evidence. the purpose of science is for us to test our beliefs, no matter how sacred they may be. The biblical cosmology has been debunked since the 16th century. What you are doing is setting up your religious beliefs as beyond question and then using these as the sole criterion upon which to judge the validity of scientific work and findings. That is an illegitimate use of science.

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Please state whether evolution could love us & solve family issues?

Si_monfaith said:

Could you state what Jesus could do for children by His grace?

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They are adults and we pray a lot. They are attempting to at time reach out for God. It really is a heart felt burden for us, we do all we can to encourage them and keep regular in person contact. There is s stress where they know they are not living right.

farout said:

They are adults and we pray a lot. They are attempting to at time reach out for God. It really is a heart felt burden for us, we do all we can to encourage them and keep regular in person contact. There is s stress where they know they are not living right.

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Our generations are blessed Becz
- Jesus prayed.
- Had heart felt burden
- suffered being stressed.

So you do not have to do these for your children. Instead thank Jesus for having done the above for your children. You will see victory.

I wouldn't focus a lot on rules. Sure, rules can be good. They're required.

Listen to some Joseph Prince, it's about identity.

I'll be honest, my parents never gave me many rules, and I was a heathen as a teen. I was in the kingdom of darkness, but in terms of outward behavior I behaved a lot better than Christian teens even. The Christian teens would be out at parties getting drunk, and I wouldn't go. My parents tried to encourage me to go even! I wouldn't go. So it was backward in my case.

But the reason I was never tempted really, is that I never had a parent dictating to me, "You will not go out and party, you will not drink underage." Certainly this wont always work, but I am a very stubborn person. Had they told me I could not do those things, I may very well have done them.

The Holy Spirit doesn't really enable rule keeping, and humans are naturally disposed to break rules not keep them. So Christian children aren't empowered by rules to follow their parent's wishes.

That she couldn't kiss a lost boy, is why her flesh desired to kiss a lost boy. A rule against it, would just make the desire worse.

Razare said:

I wouldn't focus a lot on rules. Sure, rules can be good. They're required.

Listen to some Joseph Prince, it's about identity.

I'll be honest, my parents never gave me many rules, and I was a heathen as a teen. I was in the kingdom of darkness, but in terms of outward behavior I behaved a lot better than Christian teens even. The Christian teens would be out at parties getting drunk, and I wouldn't go. My parents tried to encourage me to go even! I wouldn't go. So it was backward in my case.

But the reason I was never tempted really, is that I never had a parent dictating to me, "You will not go out and party, you will not drink underage." Certainly this wont always work, but I am a very stubborn person. Had they told me I could not do those things, I may very well have done them.

The Holy Spirit doesn't really enable rule keeping, and humans are naturally disposed to break rules not keep them. So Christian children aren't empowered by rules to follow their parent's wishes.

That she couldn't kiss a lost boy, is why her flesh desired to kiss a lost boy. A rule against it, would just make the desire worse.

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Humans break rules, feel guilty & flee away from God .

Even christians do that, some flee & some spend their life living on sin confessions .

But Jesus set us free from the moral law to live a life of total liberty in private & partial liberty in public (while witnessing about Jesus to unsaved ).

Razare said:

I wouldn't focus a lot on rules. Sure, rules can be good. They're required.

Listen to some Joseph Prince, it's about identity.

I'll be honest, my parents never gave me many rules, and I was a heathen as a teen. I was in the kingdom of darkness, but in terms of outward behavior I behaved a lot better than Christian teens even. The Christian teens would be out at parties getting drunk, and I wouldn't go. My parents tried to encourage me to go even! I wouldn't go. So it was backward in my case.

But the reason I was never tempted really, is that I never had a parent dictating to me, "You will not go out and party, you will not drink underage." Certainly this wont always work, but I am a very stubborn person. Had they told me I could not do those things, I may very well have done them.

The Holy Spirit doesn't really enable rule keeping, and humans are naturally disposed to break rules not keep them. So Christian children aren't empowered by rules to follow their parent's wishes.

That she couldn't kiss a lost boy, is why her flesh desired to kiss a lost boy. A rule against it, would just make the desire worse.

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Rules are to not given to be followed in order to be blessed but they serve as guidelines to choose from, to help us do activities, express our Lord-given talents, feel job-satisfaction & thus rejoice in Christ.