Friend Material

Somebody who you connect with but there are some clear cut boundaries if it's male/female friendship.
A person who wants to see the best for me, won't drag me down, and will promote me spiritually.

I don't know, I've never really looked for friends, they just kind of happen. In my experience friendship happens naturally as the result of proximity, commonness, etc.

I try to be friendly with everyone until they give me reason to not be.

If they don't give me any reason for long enough... they become friends.

I think intuition, maybe the holy spirit sees a kindred spirit and you know you will get along. Like Toro I try to be friendly with everyone, although there are some people I would avoid or be distant from because the holy spirit might warn me to not go to that person.

If they start to (involuntarily) mimic some of my sayings or mannerisms, then I know that they think very highly of me. They won't have to say anything, because I'll know just through observation.

Ineresting question. Upon thinking about, I've realized that I don't make that decision when we've just met. For me it takes time. And during that time the person earns my trust or they don't. They either have healthy emotional/mental traits or they don't. And it takes me spending some time with them to determine this. So this assumes we have enough in common to spend time together. But common interests don't work if someone has harmful underlying traits. Time will tell.

Having said that, there are times when I can tell right off that someone is not good for me to be with, so I keep it at polite friendly acquaintance, rather than actual friendship.

Hard to pin it down. I think intuition would be my shortest short answer, but I also think that we can usually subconsciously pick up on positive and/or negative traits that others have.
Longer answer? Depends on any number of factors from how well we can converse (extra points if we can keep an interesting conversation going; minus points if they start off by asking me what I do for a living) to what we have in common to how many hours of sunlight there were on the day we met.
I've always conversed more easily, and had better quality friendships, with women than with other men, but what I've noticed over the past 6ish months is that I usually, if not almost always, gravitate toward fellow introverts. Kindred spirits.

For me, friendship isn't something that just happens. Friendship requires a multitude of factors, from honesty to common goals and ideology. And those are the things I look for when I meet someone.

I think a real friend is someone who takes the time and has enough interest to see who you are behind your "public" mask. It usually starts out by just determining that someone is "interesting" enough to want to spend time with and get to know. For me, it grows as I learn that they can be trusted with my quiet thoughts and they trust me with theirs.

JeffofGallifrey said:

What tells you that a person you just met would make a good friend? Are there traits you look for, or is it a matter of intuition?

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Sometimes you just "click" with people. Most of the time I don't think I knew I'd be friends with people when I just met them. I guess it's not the first thing on my mind when I meet new people. Sometimes you can really get along with people and friendship doesn't work out. So while there was potential it just didn't work. I have made good friendships with people who I initially didn't have a good first impression of as well. So I guess it's not something that you can always just know right away.
I guess I think about friendship differently. I can make "friends" with people pretty easy. But it doesn't mean we are close friends. Close friendships take more time. I like people so I guess I don't have any expectation of deep friendship with most people. I just enjoy what friendship/acquaintance I do have with people and leave it at that. Sometimes those friendships became deeper over time.
I met my best friend in a parking lot over 20 years ago and asked her to play with me. I didn't know we'd even be friends (or even see each other) later. I just wanted to play.

One thing I do notice on meeting people is certain qualities they have that may attract a friendship. If they seem kind and friendly, and positive. Those are all qualities that are attractive. If they seem mean, and grumpy, and negative, I tend to not want to get too close. (those are just some examples of qualities I may notice)
On first impressions of people sometimes you can't see if they are more one or the other so sometimes first impressions can be quite wrong.

Yea it takes time, Jesus had twelve disicples but was only really close friends with three of them.
Also I dont have any friends who i still am friends with that I hung out with in school.

JeffofGallifrey said:

What tells you that a person you just met would make a good friend? Are there traits you look for, or is it a matter of intuition?

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I don't really know, it just happens naturally.

I'm open to most male friends. Once they burn me, I'm not as open. I don't really care to make women friends. There is always that behind-the-scenes feeling with women friends.

~shrugs~

redblue22 said:

I'm open to most male friends. Once they burn me, I'm not as open. I don't really care to make women friends. There is always that behind-the-scenes feeling with women friends.

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Tragic, isn't it? Sometimes, I like better making friends with women. Common dislikes usually. But the feelings get in the way.

redblue22 said:

I'm open to most male friends. Once they burn me, I'm not as open. I don't really care to make women friends. There is always that behind-the-scenes feeling with women friends.

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What does "behind-the-scenes feeling" mean?