Veganism: Family and Friends, Their Anxiety

Then go back to your diet. It's inconsiderate of your family and friends to expect you to alter your own dietary habits out of their own sheer convenience. You shouldn't be made to feel anxiety over your own life.

Look at it through the perspective as if you required a vegan/gluten-free/lactose-free/etc. diet for personal health reasons (or maybe you do, I don't know), would those obstacles seem as hard to them? Accommodating a vegan diet would be simple, especially nowadays when vegan options are commonplace in a majority of restaurants, and there's no stigma against bringing your own food in non-vegan situations: in fact, that would actually make things easier for your friends and family.

It would be the fault of only my own arrogance to make a big deal out of a friend's diet or suggest to them to inexplicably change their habits for my own sake. Of course, it's up to both sides to handle such accommodations ahead of time; don't just show up blindly to a party expecting there to be ready vegan alternatives.

I'm admittedly not a vegan, though I've been a vegetarian for about 12-ish years and I can't recall any problems I've had with my wholly carnivorous family, either because I or they have prepared alternatives for family gatherings. I've honestly never heard such a...bizarre...Christian argument against veganism, but it doesn't really surprise me.

Hello,The first thing I would do if I wanted them to be happy is, say to you that you need to change your attitude .
I want them to be happy that I've chosen a better way to live
you see, they do not believe it is a "Better way to live" as you have stated.
If you just present this as a preferred diet as apposed to a superiority of life style then it will likely be more acceptable.

I'm not a vegan, but if you find that you feel better eating
vegan, I think you should do it. Especially if you get enough
energy to forego coffee (that's awesome!).

Maybe just explain to your family that our bodies are like
cars. Some cars run better on regular gasoline, others need
premium, yet others need diesel, etc. There's no right or
wrong way to go about it, but rather whatever it is your
particular system runs best on.

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It sounds like the people in your life need to be educated about the Vegan lifestyle. There are websites that make the explanation rather simple to understand. Maybe print off something and hand it out to those who are anxious.

Meanwhile, when it makes you feel better and your health improves due to the Vegan diet that should make you happy. Your anxiety is due to the pressure others put on you with their comments or looks that they give when or if they see you eating.
Their opinion isn't what should rule your life. If they make an issue of it in your presence explain aloud to them why they shouldn't be concerned.
It is important to know how to combine the proper foods in order to get the best nutrition in a Vegan diet. If you know those particulars your appearance and level of health and stamina should be the proof in the pudding that dissuades any concerns they may have about your dietary choices. You'll radiate the goodness of a healthy diet and then they shouldn't be so concerned when they see how good your doing having adopted this new dietary choice.

I'm a long time vegan, and I've had a few issues with family, but I've found ways to manage. I'm vegan for ethical reasons, and it's something that's a core value of mine that's not really open for negotiations. They understand that, but there are some things I do to help when I'm visiting with them or hanging with other non vegans. I've learned you can find typically at least something vegan in most places...and there are apps to help with national chains. It's not always much, so I grab a Vega bar or something before I go out to eat if I know I'm just getting a dry baked potatoe or steamed broccoli. I bring appetizer dishes to family gatherings or pot lucks, things everyone will enjoy (like olives, veggies and hummus) and things I can make a meal of if there's nothing else. I'm also getting good at the simple no thank you. I'm happy to talk about veganism if asked, but I don't bring it up often if not prompted.
Anyway, going on a decade now as vegan and surrounded by omnis, and that's what works for me.

Verve said:

I was doing very well. My skin, health and general energy levels were phenomenal.
Specifically, I was loosely on the 801010 and following the advice of many healthy vegans.
Food combination for vegan lifestyle is very important.

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Absolutely it is important. Otherwise you'll suffer for the lack of the proper nutrition proper combining affords.
When I turned Vegan I was deep into body sculpting also. My energy when I first started was really low. My first workout at a free weights gym was funny. The owner comes up after having taken me through the machines and exercises. I'm sitting on a weight bench drinking an energy drink and trying not to pass out. He looks at me and says, you feel like you're about to die right about now don't you?
That was an understatement. All those toxins from my meat eating diet were circulating in the bloodstream that had just gotten a jump start in a weight room for over an hour. Before that I thought I was rather healthy.
Then I went Vegan a few weeks later and the difference was phenomenal.

A few years later I ended up having to move in with my parents to help them through a health crisis . That wasn't an atmosphere conducive to maintaining a Vegan menu in the fridge because they'd eat all the healthy foods I brought in and all their own regular diet. So I started more and more gravitating back into my old diet and the energy level dropped immediately. Like a bag of bricks was added to my body.

If I were you, I'd print out something really easy to read that would explain Veganism in a nutshell. And then I'd live my Vegan lifestyle as I wanted. I'd let my glowing skin, my energy level, my glossy hair, my sparkling eyes, speak to the value of a Vegan diet when my family would see me. I'd bring water to meals that weren't conducive to my diet and drink that. Or fresh juicer juices that I'd put in a cooler mug. And if they asked I'd tell them that I'm fasting today. Which is also a good thing whether you're Vegan or not.

All you can do is try to explain your choice to them. But whatever you do you have to decide if you're going to let their choice for your life overrule how good you feel when you make the Vegan choice. It's your health. It's their opinion.

It was more social situations that caused the anxiety to be most prominent.
Your idea to print out stuff is something I had never thought of.
Oooh I can make a list of eateries they will go to that have vegan options!

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Absolutely. And just think, when you are the living example of the goodness that Vegan does a body you could actually see them convert to your dietary lifestyle. And they'd be healthier for it.
I wish you all the best in your choices.

I'm a Christian vegan and I'm so sorry you are having problems from Christian friends and family. I suggest you look at the CVA (Christian Vegetarian Association) website for some great articles and resources. http://christianveg.org/default.htm
In the end you have to make the choice for your health and your own morals. You can not live to please everyone else.

Verve said:

Firstly, I'm not trying to wave it in their face. The whole reason I've made this post is that I walked away from veganism because it made them anxious.

I walked away because of them them saying things about how they weren't sure where they could take me because they didn't know what I could eat.

Other people, not in my family, saying that it's not Christian to be vegan.
Well, I don't really care as much about them.

It just visibly seemed to bother my family and close friends that I was following a diet they couldn't understand.

That being said you took my "better way of living" out of context because I may not have provided it with adequate context.

I mean it's better for me, personally.

Going back on meat and dairy seems to have leveled things out with the family.
They don't have to worry about Thanksgiving (why I quit veganism) and my husband doesn't have to worry about where he takes me for date night.

However, in the past month I've gained several pounds. (My husband doesn't care how heavy or trim I am and probably hasn't even noticed the excess.)

It's not about the weight though. It's about how I feel.

As a meat and dairy eater I feel internally stressed and gaseous all the time.
As a vegan I cause my family anxiety.

As a meat and dairy eater I have just enough energy to do the things my family enjoys.
As a vegan I have so much energy that I don't need coffee.
(Right now I'm pretty much dependent on that and energy drinks to even get me through the holiday.)


I just feel sick. Like there's no right choice.
The worst part is the weight gain because I struggled with exercise bulimia when I was younger.
Though I don't have the energy as a meat eater anymore to purge that way anymore and have had ANA thoughts as a result.

Hubby says he doesn't care if I go back to being vegan but I feel like it will just cause him the exact same anxiety it caused him last time.

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A Vegan diet is okay for many people.
What you need to understand is that there are religions which expect you to avoid meat.
You might need to reassure them that you're not following some weird religion.
About 1/3 of us are born with a different amount of stomach acid.
We need such acids to digest meat.
It is like being born left handed , it is not evil, just different, but quite okay.

To reduce the stress , perhaps you could find restaurants that are okay for you and them and then suggest one of them when the time is right.

While I will never choose to be vegan because I will never stop eating honey, I do sympathize. People don't seem to know how to separate their culture from their Godliness, and this includes what they eat. I have frankly been been so disgusted by what I've seen people eat at church.

Nearly all religions have some sort of dietary laws. While we are not under laws as Christians, I think it is beneficial to us to eat a diet as natural as God made food for us. I know it's difficult, but you have to be strong in the face of adversity and eat the food that makes you feel most vibrant.

I had to face similar stuff when it came to feeding my children. It's amazing how people thought they were deprived because I wouldn't feed them factory food. It can be tough to be both peaceful and persistent, but it is worth it. God has shown you what is right for you; I pray he strengthens you in adversity and calms your family.

I am vegan. I started outon a vegetarian diet but then made the switch to a vefan diet. The health benefits I have experienced is amazing. Way more energy, softer hair, glowing skin, very rarely get sick-not even colds, and best of all...I stopped getting chronic eye imfections. I had an eye infection more often than not but on a vegam diet...it went away and never came back. The health benefits are something you can share with your family....educate them. They love you and should want to support you with this choice, especially with all the benefits. You can share todbots with them like how a vegan is highly unlikely to develop Alzheimer disease and has a decreased risk of cancer and heart disease while living longer! Im sure they want you to be around a long time!

Also, try cooking some great meals for them. That can show them that a vegan is not severly limited in what they eat and inspire them to see how the family meals will still be just as great.Do they like lasagna? Make a vegan five "cheese" lasagna. Is it a good night to grill out? How about homemade veggie burgers loaded with toppings and some sweet potato bites?Share veganism with them.

Whoever said the being vegan isnt Christian-obviously thatbit just an ignorant comment. Ignore that. People will say a lot of stupid things...sometimes its plain stupidty, sometimes its immaturity, sometimes it comviction, and sometimes its because theyre uneducated. A vegan diet is a very compassionate diet.It respects all of Gods creatures and our bodies. We should be responsible people and make choices that are loving. Most farmed animals live in absolute hell. Bred, tortured, abused,skinned alive, debeaked, and given NO ability to live any kind of a decent life. Humans have played God by creating these animals in the most profitable way with animals so deformed they cant sit up or walk. Its absolute horror and not something any person should support.

It took my parents a long time to finally understand my choice. They were very close minded to it, however, and far more than yours. They had the idea that it must be unhealthy . It wasnt until my mom got cancer and her doctor told her
to eat a vegan diet to help fight the cancer and laterto prevent it from reoccuring. THEN she finally started educating herself and realized the massive health benefits. My husband was leary of it at first, but thrilled with all the great food. He ended up becoming about 90 percent vegan, even cooking and baking vegan foods and sharing them with coworkers. He also saw increased energy and became a far better runner and started buying more compassionatly...like swapping cows milk with almond milk.

So...it moght take some time but share your diet with them, educate them, have fun with it. Pick restaurants with vegan options. Have a vegan pizza night with the family. Let them see the benefits.@

jamisonbirdsong said:

I'm a Christian vegan and I'm so sorry you are having problems from Christian friends and family. I suggest you look at the CVA (Christian Vegetarian Association) website for some great articles and resources. http://christianveg.org/default.htm
In the end you have to make the choice for your health and your own morals. You can not live to please everyone else.

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And ultimatly your family needs to support you. If it causes them stress just because you changed your diet..how would they handle it if you lost a limb or went blind? If you were in a wheelchair would it be too stressful to go out anywhere with you because some accomadation is needed? Stand firm in your values.