This is my life, and I don't know what to do

anewman1993

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I don’t know why I’m writing this, I just need to tell…..someone.



My life sucks. I have health issues, “IBS” but that just means the doctors don’t know what wrong with my stomach, its a catch all. I get violent stomach pains sometimes, low in my stomach, accompanied by having to go to the bathroom. Nausea and fatigue as well. I can’t hardly leave my house, I spend most days at home. I’m unable to work, go to school, or socialize in person (at least in any sort of consistent matter). Today I had a bad attack, I don’t get these 2 often anymore, use to get them on almost a daily basis, sometimes more than once a day. Its so painful. Its probably the most pain Ive ever felt, or close enough.

It passes that point where you think “this sucks, it hurts” to you no longer can think coherently. You don’t think anything, its just pain, I would say mind numbing except there is nothing numb about it. It throws your body into such a heightened state, your stomach lurches, now your queasy, now you are bent over, you can’t really see, but you don’t care, you don’t realize that till later. You know nothing but pain, and you don’t know how long it last, a few minutes, and hour, you can’t really tell, all the while your body is freaking out, anything could happen, shakes, cold sweats, you have to be careful not to hyperventilate from gasping for air(the last thing you need is to get dizzy), why your gasping you don’t know its just a reflex. Now your exhausted, still in pain but the worst has past and your probably in shock, your mind is numb, you can’t think straight. You finish up, wash your hands, bump into a lot of stuff on the way out the door cause your to tired to keep from bumping into stuff. Then, you can’t even crash, cause now your queasy/in pain still and the only thing that helps that is walking around, so you pace your house, tired, in a kinda mental haze, until 30 minutes to an hour or so later you manage to crash in front of your computer, at which point for some reason you now notice yourself tearing up, you don’t know why, its over, you should be happy, hopefully it won’t happen again for at least a month, it wasn’t as bad as some of them, it probably will only take a few days to recover, though your “normal” is still homebound and queasy all the time. Won’t be able to eat much food today, but thats ok, you need to lose a few pounds anyway, and its not like you can workout.



No one gets it, because you look healthy most of the time, you don’t want to complain to everyone around you about it, your family gets enough of that, so the FEW times you manage to get out you put on the face, and its not a lie, your happy to be out, or talk with someone, so no one really understands, and there is no point in trying to make them. They know your going through stuff, and no matter how well you explain it they just won’t get it. So you just let it slide, let them think what they will, its not your problem.



Your bored now. You pretty much have tapped out netflix and without a job you can’t buy many new video games and your to tired to write music, or skateboard, or practice and instrument. You love singing/screaming and your good at it but nasuea makes it hard to practice. You think, eventually it will get better, right? It has to, but for 5 years its gotten worse and worse until last year where your dropped out of college cause you can’t even do it from home. all you do is waste you life, and somehow manage to hold it together emotionally, but for how long? Another year, 2. You start to wonder if you will even make it to 30 years old, or if you will just drop dead one day from exhaustion or something else the doctors can’t figure out.



but do you know the worst part? The loneliness, the being stuck surrounded only by your family, talking ot MAYBE 3-4 other people total over the course of a week. It sucks.


I don’t know why I’m writting this, other than my life sucks and I just need to vent :/
 

Isaiah55:6

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Hello. I just wanted to reply because your post hits close to home in the sense that my wife went through something similar for years. (Although hers was lady issues). I understand what your going through. 5 weeks after our second child was born my wife started having severe pain in her lower abdomen. This pain would bring her right down to her knees. She would cry and scream and often even throw up because of the pain. These attacks would come several times a day. She was in the hospital 7 times over the course of two years and no doctor could figure out what was wrong with her. Diagnosed her with everything from IBS, CVI to a bunch of things I can't remember now. Losing all hope that things would ever get better she went through sever depression. She was off work for two years also. And feels like she missed out on the first two years of our sons life. They finally after two years figured it out and she had surgery and has been 100% ever since. But it was a long painful, at times hopeless road for her. I understand the need to vent. It's frustrating for sure.
 
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anewman1993

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Hello. I just wanted to reply because your post hits close to home in the sense that my wife went through something similar for years. (Although hers was lady issues). I understand what your going through. 5 weeks after our second child was born my wife started having severe pain in her lower abdomen. This pain would bring her right down to her knees. She would cry and scream and often even throw up because of the pain. These attacks would come several times a day. She was in the hospital 7 times over the course of two years and no doctor could figure out what was wrong with her. Diagnosed her with everything from IBS, CVI to a bunch of things I can't remember now. Losing all hope that things would ever get better she went through sever depression. She was off work for two years also. And feels like she missed out on the first two years of our sons life. They finally after two years figured it out and she had surgery and has been 100% ever since. But it was a long painful, at times hopeless road for her. I understand the need to vent. It's frustrating for sure.

I'm sorry she had to go through that. I understand. I feel like I'm missing the best years of my life, I'm 22, but have hardly any friends other than a few people online (who the last week have all been super busy and its been a rough week for me which has left me feeling super alone) , never had a girlfriend (which is a HUGE pain, I can't even express how much I wish I had a gf) and it just sucks.
 
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BFine

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I understand pain and suffering...I'm in it 24/7
and can't take nothing for it.
As you can see I'm married and have a husband.
...we've been close companions for nearly 3 years
now...sex is out of the question due to my injured
back.

I/we have people over whenever they can come.
We work with what we have...there's a women's
transition home not far from us and I invited over
a lady and her two daughters...they happened to
attend our church and we ended up talking...they
would of been homeless if the transition house hadn't
taken them in after they lost their home.
I look for the "forgotten ones" or those who aren't
able to do much...my friends range in age from - 6 to
81.
 
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Thir7ySev3n

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Allow me to be blunt with you about your pursuit of a female companion, presumably with the goal of marriage. Three things you need to do if you want to be successful in every sense of the word. First, as always, pray for wisdom at all times in all things, and for God to guide you in your pursuit of the one you desire. This does not necessarily mean your pursuit of "the one", as I don't believe there is a predetermined (though nothing happens outside of God's providence, which is a theological/philosophical issue I won't dig into for the sake of being succinct) spouse for every person, or even Christian persons. This presumption would remove human accountability for their choices, relinquishing culpability for poor (ungodly, impulsive) ones and responsibility to maintain and seek the edification of marriages on the premise that it "just feels right" or is "unpleasant" respectively. What this does mean is that you pray for God to guide you with wisdom in the Holy Spirit to strengthen you to resist wrong choices and the prudence and courage to make the right ones in your pursuit of a Christian wife.

Second, you need to put yourself out there and be available. If you can't be accessed meaningfully, then there will be no meaningful chance of being relieved of your loneliness. If you lack confidence, well, then you'll do well to listen to my next bit of advice.

Third, among the more obvious godly traits for a man to possess, you must also be assertive, initiative and aggressive in your approach. Aggression is not to be conflated with anger or susceptibility to it. Aggression in this sense is the expression of your innate masculine energy; a spirit of self-respect, confidence and dominance. Tempered with godly character, the fruits of the Holy Spirit, this is the best and natural way to express yourself as the man God designed you to be. This means you should inhibit yourself for no other reason than that what you desire to do/say would be ungodly. Speak your mind genuinely, express yourself freely and without second guessing whether it could earn or lose you favour in someone's eyes (more specifically in this case, the woman's). If you're interested in something, discuss it or do it with pleasure because you want to say or do it, and do not hinder yourself on the potentiality that she may not be interested. But always be conscious of her interests and expressions and reciprocate your attentiveness and involvement. But ultimately, always be moving forward and letting her join you or fall behind (if it's merely a woman of interest; you obviously should never dismiss your wife). It may sound blunt, even rude, but its not. In fact, considering that the relationship between man and woman represents the relationship between Christ and the church, you need only look at Christ's interactions with His people and His statements regarding our duty and priorities. I'll let you take the initiative of examining these interactions in the gospels yourself if you want to see the perfect representative of a man that ever walked the earth.

There are two reasons why this approach is important in the practical sense as well. First, it will effectively filter out all of the women who can't respect you as a man and who are likely to make you, at best, silently miserable. Second (and most importantly but connected to the previous reason), it will distinguish those Christian women who are rightly attracted to a husband who fulfills his role as a spiritual and familial leader and who conveys the image of God as it is properly expressed from a man.

All of these key attributes should remain but vary in their expression depending on the nature of your relationship with 'x' woman. I think it goes without saying that you should behave differently with a woman who you're interested in, who you're dating, and then who you're married to. Finally, I will emphasize again that you should remember to temper everything you do with wisdom and godly character.
 
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anewman1993

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Allow me to be blunt with you about your pursuit of a female companion, presumably with the goal of marriage. Three things you need to do if you want to be successful in every sense of the word. First, as always, pray for wisdom at all times in all things, and for God to guide you in your pursuit of the one you desire. This does not necessarily mean your pursuit of "the one", as I don't believe there is a predetermined (though nothing happens outside of God's providence, which is a theological/philosophical issue I won't dig into for the sake of being succinct) spouse for every person, or even Christian persons. This presumption would remove human accountability for their choices, relinquishing culpability for poor (ungodly, impulsive) ones and responsibility to maintain and seek the edification of marriages on the premise that it "just feels right" or is "unpleasant" respectively. What this does mean is that you pray for God to guide you with wisdom in the Holy Spirit to strengthen you to resist wrong choices and the prudence and courage to make the right ones in your pursuit of a Christian wife.

I'm doing this

Second, you need to put yourself out there and be available. If you can't be accessed meaningfully, then there will be no meaningful chance of being relieved of your loneliness. If you lack confidence, well, then you'll do well to listen to my next bit of advice.

I'm not doing this, because, as mentioned my initial post, I PHYSICALLY CANNOT. I AM STUCK INSIDE THIS STUPID HOUSE WASTING MY LIFE EVERY DAY. I'M LUCKY TO LEAVE MY HOUSE MORE THAN 2 TIMES A WEEK AND THAT IS ON THE BEST WEEK.

Its been over 2 weeks since Ive left my house, and considering today I had a pretty bad epsiode the chances of me getting out any this week are pretty slim, I'm not even sure if I'll make it to the doctor and thats something I HAVE to go to, and my moms driving me.

Third, among the more obvious godly traits for a man to possess, you must also be assertive, initiative and aggressive in your approach. Aggression is not to be conflated with anger or susceptibility to it. Aggression in this sense is the expression of your innate masculine energy; a spirit of self-respect, confidence and dominance. Tempered with godly character, the fruits of the Holy Spirit, this is the best and natural way to express yourself as the man God designed you to be. This means you should inhibit yourself for no other reason than that what you desire to do/say would be ungodly. Speak your mind genuinely, express yourself freely and without second guessing whether it could earn or lose you favour in someone's eyes (more specifically in this case, the woman's). If you're interested in something, discuss it or do it with pleasure because you want to say or do it, and do not hinder yourself on the potentiality that she may not be interested. But always be conscious of her interests and expressions and reciprocate your attentiveness and involvement. But ultimately, always be moving forward and letting her join you or fall behind (if it's merely a woman of interest; you obviously should never dismiss your wife). It may sound blunt, even rude, but its not. In fact, considering that the relationship between man and woman represents the relationship between Christ and the church, you need only look at Christ's interactions with His people and His statements regarding our duty and priorities. I'll let you take the initiative of examining these interactions in the gospels yourself if you want to see the perfect representative of a man that ever walked the earth.

I actually consider myself to embody this pretty well. I mean, I'm not going to lie, I have trouble initiation contact with women, going up, introducing myself, ect. However if I can get past petty small talk and pleasantries I genuinely think I have a solid healthy way of talking to women. the problem (When I'm actually ABLE to be around women and I haven't met a new one in weeks if not months at this point) is being able to get past introductions and smalltalk. I'm pretty freaking horrible at smalltalk. I hate sports, and all the idiotic church "culture" stuff, no, I don't listen to contemporary christian music, I listen to some christian music, but have no interest in what is played on the christian radio stations. I don't care for duck dynasty or the duggers or any of that. Frankly I hate most of that stuff, I don't go around telling anyone who will listen how much I dislike that stuff, but its certainly not something I hide, I generally just say I'm not into that and if they push I tell them I have no interest in it whatsoever. I won't do things just cause a girl is into them. Ive had VERY little romantic experience with women, but one woman I was talking with for about a month (who ended up leading me on) I watched tv shows I hated and tried out bands that I thought where "meh" cause I wanted something to talk to her about, nope, never again. If your in a relationship its one thing to do something you don't particularly like to be with the other person, but I'm not changing myself.

I won't pretend I'm perfect, Ive got some issues I'm working through (don't we all) but by and large my biggest problem is I can't leave my house, theirfore I can't meet women, and even if I could I couldn't date them.

I'm planing to go to seminar if I can ever finish my undergrade and then go into preaching, I feel called to do it and its been confirmed by those around me. On top of that, at one point, I had a strange experince where God borderline audiably told me I was going to get married, so its nice to have that assurance. That said, its frustrating because I feel like there arn't many Godly women around, much less any that would fit well with me, I'm not the cookie cutter christian. I don't care about a bunch of that stuff. I'm a slightly nerdy metal head, who loves God to a sucidal level. Whoever marries me better REALLY love God cause if there is ONE thing I know for certain about my life, it will never be easy, it will never be comfortable, and it will face a lot of opposition. I love God, I want to speak what the bible says and it turns out the church isn't to down with that, the CHURCH by and large in America is extremely anti-christian, to the point that a few years ago I almost left all together because the way I was treated as someone seeking God. It took me years to find a Good church, and they have basically NO ONE my age there, and the few that are , are mostly married.

I'm not in a place I can marry right now, I know that, I'm 22 and can't hardly leave my house, can't go to school, and can't work a job. I'm 110% dependent on my parents, I hate it, but I am. I had to drop out of college because of this health stuff. I know I can't marry, but that doesn't mean it doesn't hurt, the loneliness, especially the romantic loneliness, as I see pretty much ever eligible women get swept away, and there weren't many to begin with. I'm trusting that God on this one, cause its all I got, but really, thats the story of my life. Living in this painful sick hell that I live in.

I understand pain and suffering...I'm in it 24/7
and can't take nothing for it.
As you can see I'm married and have a husband.
...we've been close companions for nearly 3 years
now...sex is out of the question due to my injured
back.

I/we have people over whenever they can come.
We work with what we have...there's a women's
transition home not far from us and I invited over
a lady and her two daughters...they happened to
attend our church and we ended up talking...they
would of been homeless if the transition house hadn't
taken them in after they lost their home.
I look for the "forgotten ones" or those who aren't
able to do much...my friends range in age from - 6 to
81.


I'm sorry your having to go through that, I really am. Health issues suck, but our situations are different. Your married, were you homebound when you were looking for a husband? Would you have given him a second glance if you found it he didn't work a job, didn't go to school, and was completely dependent on his parents. I try to do the best I can, I try to talk to people online, and show the gosple where I can. But I would be lying if I said I didn't feel like I was wasting my life.

I'm 22, if I wasn't sick I could be doing SO MUCH more. SO much. I'm watching the "best years" of my life, my youth, tick away in a chair in front of a computer, not because I want them to, because I have no alternative.
 
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BFine

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I'm doing this



I'm not doing this, because, as mentioned my initial post, I PHYSICALLY CANNOT. I AM STUCK INSIDE THIS STUPID HOUSE WASTING MY LIFE EVERY DAY. I'M LUCKY TO LEAVE MY HOUSE MORE THAN 2 TIMES A WEEK AND THAT IS ON THE BEST WEEK.

Its been over 2 weeks since Ive left my house, and considering today I had a pretty bad epsiode the chances of me getting out any this week are pretty slim, I'm not even sure if I'll make it to the doctor and thats something I HAVE to go to, and my moms driving me.

* My mom is 83 and in a nursing home, she has churches come visit her on a weekly basis...she can't leave the facility.
Her health is bad.



I actually consider myself to embody this pretty well. I mean, I'm not going to lie, I have trouble initiation contact with women, going up, introducing myself, ect. However if I can get past petty small talk and pleasantries I genuinely think I have a solid healthy way of talking to women. the problem (When I'm actually ABLE to be around women and I haven't met a new one in weeks if not months at this point) is being able to get past introductions and smalltalk. I'm pretty freaking horrible at smalltalk. I hate sports, and all the idiotic church "culture" stuff, no, I don't listen to contemporary christian music, I listen to some christian music, but have no interest in what is played on the christian radio stations. I don't care for duck dynasty or the duggers or any of that. Frankly I hate most of that stuff, I don't go around telling anyone who will listen how much I dislike that stuff, but its certainly not something I hide, I generally just say I'm not into that and if they push I tell them I have no interest in it whatsoever. I won't do things just cause a girl is into them. Ive had VERY little romantic experience with women, but one woman I was talking with for about a month (who ended up leading me on) I watched tv shows I hated and tried out bands that I thought where "meh" cause I wanted something to talk to her about, nope, never again. If your in a relationship its one thing to do something you don't particularly like to be with the other person, but I'm not changing myself.

I won't pretend I'm perfect, Ive got some issues I'm working through (don't we all) but by and large my biggest problem is I can't leave my house, theirfore I can't meet women, and even if I could I couldn't date them.

I'm planing to go to seminar if I can ever finish my undergrade and then go into preaching, I feel called to do it and its been confirmed by those around me. On top of that, at one point, I had a strange experince where God borderline audiably told me I was going to get married, so its nice to have that assurance. That said, its frustrating because I feel like there arn't many Godly women around, much less any that would fit well with me, I'm not the cookie cutter christian. I don't care about a bunch of that stuff. I'm a slightly nerdy metal head, who loves God to a sucidal level. Whoever marries me better REALLY love God cause if there is ONE thing I know for certain about my life, it will never be easy, it will never be comfortable, and it will face a lot of opposition. I love God, I want to speak what the bible says and it turns out the church isn't to down with that, the CHURCH by and large in America is extremely anti-christian, to the point that a few years ago I almost left all together because the way I was treated as someone seeking God. It took me years to find a Good church, and they have basically NO ONE my age there, and the few that are , are mostly married.

I'm not in a place I can marry right now, I know that, I'm 22 and can't hardly leave my house, can't go to school, and can't work a job. I'm 110% dependent on my parents, I hate it, but I am. I had to drop out of college because of this health stuff. I know I can't marry, but that doesn't mean it doesn't hurt, the loneliness, especially the romantic loneliness, as I see pretty much ever eligible women get swept away, and there weren't many to begin with. I'm trusting that God on this one, cause its all I got, but really, thats the story of my life. Living in this painful sick hell that I live in.




I'm sorry your having to go through that, I really am. Health issues suck, but our situations are different. Your married, were you homebound when you were looking for a husband?

*For a time, yes I was homebound for like two years...when I was looking after him full time.
Now it's not like that but he is in a wheelchair for most of the day...he teaches men's bible study and
can do that from his wheelchair if he's unable to wear

his prosthetic.

Would you have given him a second glance if you found it he didn't work a job, didn't go to school, and was completely dependent on his parents. I try to do the best I can, I try to talk to people online, and show the gosple where I can. But I would be lying if I said I didn't feel like I was wasting my life.

*Yes, because I value a person who is sincere, whether he is disabled or not. Remember, I spent
most of my life taking care of my sick mom...did that
in childhood, through out my teen years and well into my twenties until my mom was old enough to get assistance. I worked my behind off for years to keep us in a home and have food on the table. I saw my teen years fly by--most of my twenties also. Dateless
for years...guys who wanted to date me avoided me
after finding I had a sick mom. I got dropped faster
than a hot potato! I had guys telling me to ditch my
mom and come away with them, I didn't do that...I
stayed and cared for her. We got very little help from
the churches around us...mom is a widow and had been one for decades... that didn't count for nothing...
I walked to/from jobs lots of times...finding a steady
ride wasn't easy...I paid whatever the person asked
and I never skipped out. I was nearly 28 by the time
I got a car.

Disabled...
I dated a gentleman who had been a police officer in NC, he got disabled, lost his eye sight and was on disability/welfare. He was as dependent as he could be, it didn't bother me to look after him or spend time talking on
the phone since he didn't have steady transportation.


I'm 22, if I wasn't sick I could be doing SO MUCH more. SO much. I'm watching the "best years" of my life, my youth, tick away in a chair in front of a computer, not because I want them to, because I have no alternative.

*Joni Eareckson Tada, has spent decades in a wheelchair...once a young active female, she misjudged the shallowness of the water and injured her spine...leaving her unable to move her limbs.
She was 17...
Life spent in a chair, she had all sorts of emotional
problems, she wanted to die many times...she hated
her situation...
others taking care of her 24/7...
who would EVER want her for a wife?
Ken Tada would...they got married.
More medical issues would come...he's still with her.
They have been married for over 30 years.

My take...
I believe in miracles and in a God who will get us
through anything!
I trust Him in good times and in the bad...I've had
to.
I know we all vent from time to time... I've done
that to...but there comes a time when we seek the
Lord and have him help us work out our lives and or
situations...we learn to live again in a new way

My Miss Sims... confined to bed since childhood.
Nearly lost her life but she lived through a deadly
case or rheumatic fever.
Has to be transported by ambulance to her doctor
appointments. No dates... no attending public school,
her former life is over. Childhood, teen years, adult,
mature woman, then senior citizens spent in her mom's home with her bed by the window...her command post...contact with the outside world is
by phone and cb radio...people come to her on a weekly basis...she is dependent upon others to
care for her, change her, bathing etc.
She has no worldly riches, she does have an abiding
faith in our Lord.
That is enough...the Lord sees that his "sparrow" is
taking care of...food, clothing, shelter, caregivers etc.
He sends what she needs.
She is in the Word by the hour...she praises her lord and Savior by the hour...are you doing that?
Her room is her church, the Lord would send me her way and we'd become such friends...I was in my early
twenties and she was in her seventies. Her heart is
beautiful and she is a pleasure to be with...I'm happy
to call her a friend, age matter not.


Then there's Rob...stage 4 cancer, he still comes to
church... pain-filled, thin as a stick, he comes to church...every Sunday I thank God this man is still here!
He is living proof life is worth living...this man knows
pain, he knows about not being able to eat food...not
much is left he can keep down. His wife is still with him, she takes care of him full time.
His thing is bible study and church on Sunday...it don't
matter if he can stay the entire time or not, he comes
any way.
He is spirit-filled and rivers of living water flow from him...he speaks of spiritual things...biblical stories... he's praising our Lord!
He should of been dead by now but the man is
still here...doctors can't do nothing for him...God
is keeping this man and using him as a mighty witness!


As a Pastoral care team member--
It is the best job I ever had and it pays no salary!
The spiritual benefits are out of this world though.


 
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SarahsKnight

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I don’t know why I’m writing this, I just need to tell…..someone.



My life sucks. I have health issues, “IBS” but that just means the doctors don’t know what wrong with my stomach, its a catch all. I get violent stomach pains sometimes, low in my stomach, accompanied by having to go to the bathroom. Nausea and fatigue as well. I can’t hardly leave my house, I spend most days at home. I’m unable to work, go to school, or socialize in person (at least in any sort of consistent matter). Today I had a bad attack, I don’t get these 2 often anymore, use to get them on almost a daily basis, sometimes more than once a day. Its so painful. Its probably the most pain Ive ever felt, or close enough.

It passes that point where you think “this sucks, it hurts” to you no longer can think coherently. You don’t think anything, its just pain, I would say mind numbing except there is nothing numb about it. It throws your body into such a heightened state, your stomach lurches, now your queasy, now you are bent over, you can’t really see, but you don’t care, you don’t realize that till later. You know nothing but pain, and you don’t know how long it last, a few minutes, and hour, you can’t really tell, all the while your body is freaking out, anything could happen, shakes, cold sweats, you have to be careful not to hyperventilate from gasping for air(the last thing you need is to get dizzy), why your gasping you don’t know its just a reflex. Now your exhausted, still in pain but the worst has past and your probably in shock, your mind is numb, you can’t think straight. You finish up, wash your hands, bump into a lot of stuff on the way out the door cause your to tired to keep from bumping into stuff. Then, you can’t even crash, cause now your queasy/in pain still and the only thing that helps that is walking around, so you pace your house, tired, in a kinda mental haze, until 30 minutes to an hour or so later you manage to crash in front of your computer, at which point for some reason you now notice yourself tearing up, you don’t know why, its over, you should be happy, hopefully it won’t happen again for at least a month, it wasn’t as bad as some of them, it probably will only take a few days to recover, though your “normal” is still homebound and queasy all the time. Won’t be able to eat much food today, but thats ok, you need to lose a few pounds anyway, and its not like you can workout.



No one gets it, because you look healthy most of the time, you don’t want to complain to everyone around you about it, your family gets enough of that, so the FEW times you manage to get out you put on the face, and its not a lie, your happy to be out, or talk with someone, so no one really understands, and there is no point in trying to make them. They know your going through stuff, and no matter how well you explain it they just won’t get it. So you just let it slide, let them think what they will, its not your problem.



Your bored now. You pretty much have tapped out netflix and without a job you can’t buy many new video games and your to tired to write music, or skateboard, or practice and instrument. You love singing/screaming and your good at it but nasuea makes it hard to practice. You think, eventually it will get better, right? It has to, but for 5 years its gotten worse and worse until last year where your dropped out of college cause you can’t even do it from home. all you do is waste you life, and somehow manage to hold it together emotionally, but for how long? Another year, 2. You start to wonder if you will even make it to 30 years old, or if you will just drop dead one day from exhaustion or something else the doctors can’t figure out.



but do you know the worst part? The loneliness, the being stuck surrounded only by your family, talking ot MAYBE 3-4 other people total over the course of a week. It sucks.


I don’t know why I’m writting this, other than my life sucks and I just need to vent :/

Hey, Anewman. I have a vague memory if you hinting at having some kind of chronic problem like this a time ago, and I read this just now and had no idea it was this bad in detail. For what it's worth, I sympathize with you that you have these constant painful episodes and have to feel as though you are sitting on the sidelines in life too often because of them, without work or schooling, and of course feeling lonely. I will pray for your healing, that either God will help you find a cure for these ailments or that He will help you to bear with them better, with less nausea and pain but more sense of fulfillment in your life. :)
 
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anewman1993

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Hey, Anewman. I have a vague memory if you hinting at having some kind of chronic problem like this a time ago, and I read this just now and had no idea it was this bad in detail. For what it's worth, I sympathize with you that you have these constant painful episodes and have to feel as though you are sitting on the sidelines in life too often because of them, without work or schooling, and of course feeling lonely. I will pray for your healing, that either God will help you find a cure for these ailments or that He will help you to bear with them better, with less nausea and pain but more sense of fulfillment in your life. :)

Thanks, one problem I have is I downplay it a LOT. When its not happening I kinda shrug and say "well, it wasn't THAT bad, its over now" when it truth it was horrific, and keeps me at home. Most days I don't have pain like this, at least not anymore (manage it with a STRICT diet and some meds that at best simply knock off the edge), most days its just neasuea, bloating, and TONS of fatigue.

Honestly I've got a little depression from it, but nothing I can do about that lol.
 
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