Hi everyone,
Thank you for talking the time to read this. I am hoping that someone could perhaps share their insight on my current struggle.
I grew up as christian in the political sense. I went to church but I never really knew God or had a real relationship with him. I'm 28 and finally really feel ready to connect with him and walk with him. My current struggle that I am grappling with is my relationship with my family. I grew up in a very emotionally abusive home that included a lot of substances and mental health issues. I moved out when I was 18 and ended contact with my family at 22 after my grandparents died. I chose to end the relationship as the abuse and other issues were severely effecting my life. I had daily anxiety attacks, horrible self esteem, and basically lived in constant fear. Several family members were doing manipulative things to put me in very bad situations. I had to leave the situation to find safety and peace. Since them I have been successful in a worldly sense which I am grateful for because it would have been so easy for me to make bad choices and do bad things.
I have been listening to many others testimonies and one of the reoccurring themes that sticks out to me is people rebuilding peace with their parents. I have told God that I forgive my parents and I pray for them to be released from their struggles. I know from a cousin who respects my boundaries with my parents that both my parents and brother continue to struggle with substances and other issues that fed into the way I was treated. They have all been offered and refused help for over a decade.
Some days I think I hear God telling me to pick up the phone and call them to tell them I forgive them but I think that is my greed for relationships. Other days I hear him telling me that this will not bring me peace and that he still has more recovering for me to do before I reach this step. I used to think that this voice was doubt, but now I am thinking this really is the protective father that knows I am still growing as a Christian and building my foundation. This makes sense to me because I know that I need a solid foundation to grow on. I know that for most people, parents are part of that foundation. For me, I know that family and relationships are something that I need to build on top of the foundation.
I trust God to put me in the right romantic relationship in his time but I struggle with the patients of connecting to family in his time. I honestly believe that when the time is right he will tell me, but till then I need to wait for his go ahead.
If anyone could share insight or advice on patience, I would extremely appreciate it.
Thank you all so much
Thank you for talking the time to read this. I am hoping that someone could perhaps share their insight on my current struggle.
I grew up as christian in the political sense. I went to church but I never really knew God or had a real relationship with him. I'm 28 and finally really feel ready to connect with him and walk with him. My current struggle that I am grappling with is my relationship with my family. I grew up in a very emotionally abusive home that included a lot of substances and mental health issues. I moved out when I was 18 and ended contact with my family at 22 after my grandparents died. I chose to end the relationship as the abuse and other issues were severely effecting my life. I had daily anxiety attacks, horrible self esteem, and basically lived in constant fear. Several family members were doing manipulative things to put me in very bad situations. I had to leave the situation to find safety and peace. Since them I have been successful in a worldly sense which I am grateful for because it would have been so easy for me to make bad choices and do bad things.
I have been listening to many others testimonies and one of the reoccurring themes that sticks out to me is people rebuilding peace with their parents. I have told God that I forgive my parents and I pray for them to be released from their struggles. I know from a cousin who respects my boundaries with my parents that both my parents and brother continue to struggle with substances and other issues that fed into the way I was treated. They have all been offered and refused help for over a decade.
Some days I think I hear God telling me to pick up the phone and call them to tell them I forgive them but I think that is my greed for relationships. Other days I hear him telling me that this will not bring me peace and that he still has more recovering for me to do before I reach this step. I used to think that this voice was doubt, but now I am thinking this really is the protective father that knows I am still growing as a Christian and building my foundation. This makes sense to me because I know that I need a solid foundation to grow on. I know that for most people, parents are part of that foundation. For me, I know that family and relationships are something that I need to build on top of the foundation.
I trust God to put me in the right romantic relationship in his time but I struggle with the patients of connecting to family in his time. I honestly believe that when the time is right he will tell me, but till then I need to wait for his go ahead.
If anyone could share insight or advice on patience, I would extremely appreciate it.
Thank you all so much
