When did You Know that your SO was the one?

I knew the day we met in person that he could be the one. That was 5 weeks after we were matched up on Eharmony. 5 weeks after our first meeting we had our second and we got engaged and were married 6 months later. It may have been a whirlwind but I have no regrets.

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It seemed everyone around me knew well before I did. I met my DW when I was a freshman in college (she was a sr in highschool) and the wife of her youth pastor decided to play "matchmaker." When i changed churches the summer after she graduated; she followed me over to the new college congregation. Several of those who I introduced her to picked up on us as a couple, and so did my mom. I did not realize it until a couple of years later as I was ready to start my senior year. We found ourselves being close together both in where we lived and in church activities. So it hit me that she was the one. We got engaged a few months later and were married that following fall.

38 years later - still going strong.

Thinking back, I knew right away - at least no later than the third time of seeing him. We weren't dating; I worked reception at a doctor's office, and he was the guy who came in twice a week to stock our vending machines. Problem was, I was dating someone at the time. After meeting my husband, my relationship went completely wrong, and after about a year (maybe less) of fighting it, I broke up with my boyfriend and dated the right guy. We dated for a few months (less than six), he proposed for Christmas, we married in October, and we just celebrated our one year anniversary last weekend

I knew after about a month. The old adage is true: when you know, you know.

I was working overseas, teaching at a Christian school. Classes were scheduled back to back with no break for me one day. This young woman was sitting in the back of the classroom when I taught. I left some materials I needed after I finished teaching and rushed back to get them for the next class. The teacher introduced me to a new teaching assistant. I said Hi and left and didn't think much of it.

A few hours later, I was sitting in the teacher room. They had a tables all lined up like a big long table. The teaching assistant was at the other end. I realized how beautiful she was. I didn't even realize it was the teaching assistant I'd met. I thought, I wonder if God will give me a woman that beautiful to be my wife some day. Then I pushed the thought out of my mind and went to work. I noticed that the pretty girl had a church bumper sticker on her bag or briefcase. She didn't work there after that, so I never saw her.

About a year later, I'd moved to the city. A guest preacher at the English service I attended invited me over for dinner. He taught at a Bible college and had an apartment in one of the buildings on campus. I went there during winter break. He told me I should visit some time and have a look at the English books in the library. I did, a couple of times, when break was over.

I'd met a young man there, Yoel the first time I visited the library. The next time, I was downstairs below the library in the open-air multi-purpose room that served as a cafeteria where the entrance was. Two young women walked in. One was really good-looking. She said to me, "Hi, sir." I had a peak at her as she went up the stairs and she was looking at me. The girls talked to each other and giggled.

It turns out, she'd been depressed about breaking up with her boyfriend who'd had some other girlfriends. Her friend had just encouraged her that the Lord could bring her a husband from some other country if He wanted to.

Several minutes later I was still there, talking with Philemon, a student who was holding a guitar. The young woman came down stairs and saw me there. She believed the Lord was directing her to talk to me. But she said, "I am a shy Asian girl" and she didn't want to strike up the conversation with a man she didn't know. So she sat next to Philemon and asked if he knew how to play a song. I struck up a conversation with her.

She had a word of knowledge about my gifts and calling that fit well with what I knew about myself. I remember she suggested I go to her. My water bottle had spilled in my backpack. She took the backpack and put it in the sun.

I went home and asked the Lord if this woman was going to be my wife. She went home and wrote down her prayer that the Lord give me to him and her to me in her prayer journal.

I ended up giving her my phone number and not asking for hers. Later, she was hoping someone else would answer. Someone else did answer, a guy who liked to chat up women, though he was engaged. Eventually, someone there passed on the message. I lived in a house that had a construction office in it, too at the time.

I got the message, her number. I called her back. She told me much later that she was dancing around all excited after that. She didn't let on when I called.

When we were dating, she mentioned something about that prayer journal that she might show me later, but it 'hangs up on our relationship.' Her English wasn't so great. My Indonesian wasn't so great. She kept calling be 'brother.' I thought that was to reinforce our 'just friends' status I suggested early on. We were 'just friends' but I took her out to dinner every single night until I felt like I was lying by just calling her my 'friend'-- not realizing they do that right up to engagement over there. When I'd try to talk about us not being just friends, she was scared I was trying to tell her I didn't want to date her and would stop if she was interested in me. It was kind of silly, really. I remember laying out all the evidence that she liked me one night, saying, "you like me don't you?" until she finally admitted it. We'd been dating every night for about a month, probably, at that point.

I wanted to be 100% sure before I proposed, though. I'd had a lot of little hints, like it seemed like the Lord had told me I'd meet my wife that month. She got upset during a phone call early in our relationship, and I'd prayed and got the reason why, which she told me later, and it sure seemed like the Lord was speaking to my heart affirming when I asked if I was to marry her.

Finally, though, I got some advice from a married 40-year-old and a bit older missionary there. Basically, you pray and tell God your decision based on the evidence you have, make a decision, and go with it, and ask Him to stop you or tell you otherwise if that wasn't the right one. My girlfriend went on a missions trip, and I prayed about marrying her. Right before she got back, I took my friend's advice, laid out my reasons for why I believed it was a good thing, God's will even, and told God if He didn't want me to marry her to let me know, or just stop me. When I made up my mind, I wasn't 90 or 90% sure. I was 100% sure. I had a peace about it. It's tough to get married to a woman in a collectivist culture like my wife's too, where weddings involve a lot of involvement from extended family who culturally, can have a lot of power. Parental consent is considered mandatory, at least culturally. I don't think the civil registrar would have signed without her parents' consent. I got it, so it wasn't that big of a deal. But her dad had worked around oil men and knew of 'contract wives', so he was a bit concerned at first, but came around really quickly.

I moved into a new co-op housing situation when I started medical school, and she was there. I was initially very attracted to her physically and felt an undeniable pull towards her. But her personality was very abrasive and put me off for a while. I decided to follow the pull and pursue her, despite the flaws. Many times I got frustrated, scared she might not be "the one", thought I wouldn't fit in with her family, etc. But basically, no matter what happened the "pull" didn't go away. Once I realized that, I knew she was the one.

Well like many, I assumed everyone I was with was the one lol. But it wasn't until I met my wife that how I felt was different. It really did feel like she was the one. Hard to explain. But the past girls were likely just puppy love, desperation...etc. In other words at the time I thought it was real love. Now knowing how I felt with my wife I tell everyone you have to figure out the real feeling of "the one".

I'd had quite a few relationships before I met my husband (I was about 30-ish when we met, never married before), yet this relationship or that one just wasn't "right". Hubs and I started out as workmates, we'd hang out at lunch together, stuff like that. Then I left the company and went somewhere else. A year later we ran into each other at a concert (imagine...20,000 people and I ran into him)...we ended up going out for a drink after the concert and I gave him my number (actually I handed him my business card)...one thing led to another and another and after a year we moved in together and married a year later. So, we've been a couple for close to 20 years now, married 18 years.

HRoseC said:

So, basically I'm wondering how long into the relationship did you realize that you loved them and wanted to spend the rest of your life with them? Did it happen all at once? Or did it kind of sneak up on you?

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I met my now-husband in middle school. He had just made friends with my "group," and after a few minutes, I realized he was a cut above the rest. I thought, "Someday!" I really did. We were friends all those years, became a couple our senior year of high school, then married our senior year of college. We're going on 11 years of marriage now. Something like 20 years of friendship. I knew what I wanted.

For each person it will be a little different - by all means be pressured into it.

I meet my wife on a weekend stop at my grandparents the summer between my junior and senior year in High School. I knew that day there was something very special about her. We went out 1 night for 4th of July with some friends, then over the next year wrote letters and called ( I lived in Alaska she lived in Oregon ) We visited each other a few times - she came to Alaska for Christmas, I went down for Spring break - We got engaged at spring break and Married in the fall after graduation. We have now been married 27 years this fall. When God matches you, things just happen.

Would I recommend this for anyone else, NO! But God works in mysterious ways...

It happened very quickly for me and my husband, less than a year. Only God would set something like this up. I was 31 going on 32 and he was 32 going on 33. We met in late January and we went on our first date in March. He told me on the first date I was everything he had written down years before. I actually felt bad because I did not have my own list. When I thought about it all, he was everything I had been looking for. My dad actually started calling him his future son in law. We were officially dating in April. July we purchased an engagement ring. After a conversation about what we do if he got a job in another state, we got engaged in September. I planned my wedding in three months and was married in December. The kicker was that in January before we met, the Lord told me that I would be married in one year. I laughed at the time because I was single, now I know how Sarah felt.

We had virtually the same experience. I (and she) knew pretty much the real meeting we had. Neither of us really knew The Lord at the time. We were both professing Christians, but weren’t living it. Today I can say I’m certain God brought us together. We’ve been through so many difficulties and have only grown stronger through all of them. My strengths are her weaknesses and vise versa. We were married five months after our first date.

Sorry, should have proof read that.

My husband was my best friend before we had feelings for each other. I was dating this guy off and on for awhile, guy was a jerk, treated me like crap. I confided in my husband (friend only at the time) how bad things were getting and one day after trying to be supportive, I suppose he had heard enough and he gave me this speech about how it was wrong for me this guy was (there was some abuse going on) and that I derserved better. I don’t really remember the words anymore, but it was that moment that I was looking at him and thought, ‘I’m going to marry him’. It came as a shock to me because we didn’t have feelings for each other at all. It had always been when I was dating he was single or vice verse or we would both be dating others at the same time. But it was that moment that I knew he was the one for me. We are celebrating 15 years of marriage this year. And he is still my best friend.