Forming relationships at an older stage

SoulMiasma · Aug 30, 2015

I've moved around quite a bit, and a lot of people in my life just come and go. There's a lot of people whom I've spoken with while in my 20s whom I just completely lost contact with. I got very upset about it, as a lot of them didn't seem to want to keep in touch. I've noticed I've grown a bit hardened about it.

Now, I don't really bond as easily anymore. I've heard from others that it's harder to make friends as you get older. I've noticed that I just don't feel as strong of bonds as I once did. The people I've met now were not present for the majority of my life. I have so many experiences separate from them. I have very little contact with people I knew in my formative years, and I just come alight at meeting people I've known from such a long time ago. Now, I feel like my bonds are weak. It's more of a shallow meeting to do something rather than a strong shared experience.

Does anyone else notice this? Is this common with getting older?

Placeholder · Aug 30, 2015

In my experience, yes.

JonFromMinnesota · Sep 7, 2015

SoulMiasma said:
I've moved around quite a bit, and a lot of people in my life just come and go. There's a lot of people whom I've spoken with while in my 20s whom I just completely lost contact with. I got very upset about it, as a lot of them didn't seem to want to keep in touch. I've noticed I've grown a bit hardened about it.

Now, I don't really bond as easily anymore. I've heard from others that it's harder to make friends as you get older. I've noticed that I just don't feel as strong of bonds as I once did. The people I've met now were not present for the majority of my life. I have so many experiences separate from them. I have very little contact with people I knew in my formative years, and I just come alight at meeting people I've known from such a long time ago. Now, I feel like my bonds are weak. It's more of a shallow meeting to do something rather than a strong shared experience.

Does anyone else notice this? Is this common with getting older?

I'm about to turn 30 and I would agree with this. I used to have a ton of friends in highschool and college. What happens is that people take different paths and have different goals. Right now I have a small group of really good friends. They are the only people I hang out with. Even then, we are all busy with our lives. I made an effort to meet more people this Summer. I live in Minnesota, so hockey is a huge part of the culture. There are pick up games almost every day in the indoor rinks in my surrounding area. I found a Tuesday group that is really fun. I wouldn't say we are great friends. It's just an opportunity to be social for a couple hours, have a couple beers in the parking lot after with a few of the people that stick around afterwards and be on my way. With getting older you're more busy with work and with your family if you have one. You have to be a little more proactive when it comes to creating new friendships.

look4hope · Sep 28, 2015

Yes, we all change as life changes. We grow up and have busy lives which then turns into a routine. With out much time to spend doing things we used to.

Friendships definitely feel different. Sometimes it feels like you're competing to keep people interested enough for them to remember your name. But hey, can't dwell on that too much.

Unix · Oct 6, 2015

Solvable: I just take a semester off one of the jobs (would also have required more from me to continue continuously into the Spring semester 2016):

JonFromMinnesota said:
With getting older you're more busy with work and with your family if you have one. You have to be a little more proactive when it comes to creating new friendships.

Now I tend to know specific purposes for finding friends, such as to research together. I'm glad new people I meet have had nothing to do with my formative years. I'm going to meet two from college though but doubt they want to be good friends with me, perhaps if I would have more time at hand it would work better, they've been waiting a long time, also during the summer I hit the talk cap in my home phone and the data cap in the broadband so it was for the most part difficult to stay in touch with both of them.
Nowadays since many years I tend to find lasting friendship either from online contacts or at college or uni. I'll see how that about uni goes though:

SoulMiasma said:
Now, I don't really bond as easily anymore. I've heard from others that it's harder to make friends as you get older. I've noticed that I just don't feel as strong of bonds as I once did. The people I've met now were not present for the majority of my life. I have so many experiences separate from them. I have very little contact with people I knew in my formative years, and I just come alight at meeting people I've known from such a long time ago. Now, I feel like my bonds are weak. It's more of a shallow meeting to do something rather than a strong shared experience.

Does anyone else notice this? Is this common with getting older?

JCFantasy23 · Oct 29, 2015

I think people get a little jaded over time from loss or experience, which can numb you

Also we just grow more into ourselves as we age, more secure with who we are and not caring quite as much what other people think of us. The older you get the shorter life seems, so you don't pay as much attention to people quirks. I think it's easier to be dismissive in relationships or cut off because of that

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Forming relationships at an older stage

SoulMiasma

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Placeholder

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JonFromMinnesota

Well-Known Member

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look4hope

Love.Fellowship.Joy

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Unix

Hebr incl Sirach&epigraph, Hermeneut,Ptolemy,Samar

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JCFantasy23

In a Kingdom by the Sea.

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