There Is No Area For This, So I Will Post It Here - Please Help

It doesn't matter what we face in this life because our destiny is in the next life. Thats what i try to remember when things seem overwhelming. I have things in my life that have been a source of great sorrow and it has ruined my life. I wasted many years in depression, and many years doing the wrong things. I also failed so many people who loved me and it makes me sad. Perhaps we share the same kind of struggle. I do find happiness though in the midst of this struggle. Do you experience times of happiness? If so then maybe you could try to focus on the things that make you happy. Thats what i do. I still struggle but not as much lately, but i feel very worn out from the years that i have struggled. I feel tired. However i focus on the things that i find joy in. I have a couple hobbies and it also seems helpful to talk to other people in these mental health forums found here at Christian forums. Though i am so tired, i try to remember that heaven is waiting for us and my struggle will be over and i can rest in paradise. I also focus on those hobbies that give me pleasure. Do you have any hobbies? Im not sure if what im saying is helpful, but its my hope that maybe you will find a good measure of happiness.

arabianhorselover said:

Thank you for your reply. I guess I never think too much about being in Heaven because I have thought I would never actually get there.

As far as hobbies, I don't have many. Partly because I don't have the time. I spend 10 hours per week exercising, plus have a full time job and at least an hour commute every day. I have pretty much always had pets. Right now I have four birds and two guinea pigs. I don't usually take the time to enjoy them very much. I read a lot online and otherwise. Generally depressing stuff about how to change myself.

Click to expand...

If you have time for reading then you have time to learn a new hobby. There is a wealth of information both in books and online that can guide us into arts, crafts, and just about anything you can imagine. I have found that youtube is also useful in learning how to do many things because some people love to freely share their knowledge and experience. Its only a suggestion, and its something that helps me personally.

Just learning to do the things i enjoy is half the enjoyment. I love the discovery part of it as much as the application. I read forums and watch videos as well. Its just a way for me to find refuge from the anxieties of life.

Hopefully this helps you. I am younger, and I have had depression/anxiety for many many years, so my situation is of course different, but I hope you can find even something comforting about what I'm going to say.

I got closer to God when I was at my weakest. I did everything wrong - I drank all the time, abused prescription drugs, was angry and hopeless for a long time. I loved a couple of women, and lost them - except one that I am still friends with. I went though several hospitals and treatments, you know, the works. I had to quit my job, I couldn't function anymore. I got so low that I couldn't do anything but cry loud in my suffering, rolling at the floor, even hoping for death several times. At my lowest point, I couldn't do anything else but call for Jesus, call for God. A desperate cry from a desperate man. I was at my weakest with no pretenses, I was naked and bare before God with all my shame and pain. I believe this was a turning point, though I didn't see it until years after.

I struggled for long, relapsed often and probably even lost some of the faith I had gotten. God didn't abandon me - even if that is probably how I felt for a long time. Now, after a long time, I am better. I'm not "all better", but I am surely satisfied. I haven't had to go to a hospital for a few years now, I'm on a pension that pays more than I think I deserve, I have a loving mother and a couple of relatives, I have a few loving friends, I don't drink, my meds are at minimum dose so that I can't really abuse them, and I have learned to live by myself - even though I'm sloppy, lazy and apathetic still. I have a certain peace that I never had.

During those hard times, I met people I wouldn't have met otherwise, I got into situations I wouldn't have gotten to otherwise. Many of these people and experiences got me to look for God more, to try to build my relationship with Jesus. I got to music again, which is an art I truly love. In all my hate and cynicism, I met people who were bright in love and compassion. I got to jogging again, two months of exercise soon. It's not much, but it's absolutely better than before. So many things I can't really list here. I will say this: even though I almost died, I am happy I broke down and lost much of the life I had when everything was "better". I know myself better now, I hope I know God a little better now, I think I am more honest now, I know what matters more now.

About your guilt: If there's something to learn, you'll learn it. Guilt for the sake of guilt doesn't do any good for you or your loved ones. What matters is now. If you want to ask someone's forgiveness and you feel you have hurt them, then you ask for their forgiveness. God has already forgiven you through Jesus Christ, you just have to accept the grace. I know that for a lot of us, accepting forgiveness is hard, because we find ourselves bad, vile or unworthy of real love. Remember this every time you feel like that: God's mercy and grace is far greater than any amount of self-loathing we can muster. We cannot, ever, by ourselves be holy. We will always need Jesus.

When you have time, use it for things you love and what you know are good for you. It can be arts and crafts, and you can certainly read about anything you're interested in, it doesn't all have to be about disorders. You may have a disorder, but you yourself are not a disorder. With love and patience great things can happen, and God will certainly grant this for you through Jesus Christ, if you ask with an honest heart, and I'm sure you will.

It is hard to break feelings off us of self doubt, and feeling internal dysfunctional. It is likely to plague you for a while. But I would suggest that you spend some time growing in the knowledge of who God is an what he can do for you and others. The bible says that when we obey God we will be above only and not benieth. The head and not the tail. It says we will be blessed in all we do. God is love, through grace, he calls us to himself, not by works, but as we seek first his kingdom we will see his blessing arise upon us and our families.