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Family Troubles- Need advice/input

emily2019

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I'm writing this, because I need some serious, unbiased input or advice from other christians about something that I have been really struggling with for a while now. I myself am a very strong christian, I was raised in a christian household and my parents are both missionaries as well. I know how important it is to have a good relationship with your parents, to honor them and respect them and to genuinely trust that their intentions and decisions are for your own general well being even if you may not see it in in that moment. I also know what the Bible says about the importance of honoring your parents and how you will be blessed if you do. That is why I am seriously struggling with this issue, because I feel that I have genuinely tried to respect and obey them, but somehow it never seems good enough.

I'm a very busy person. I started my own business 3 years ago and run it entirely on my own while working another job on top of that, I go to school and play tennis year around, and I am also in a relationship and heavily involved with church. I am not a rebellious teenager, in fact I actually want to have a strong healthy relationship with my parents but they make it difficult. I am one of 4 kids in my family, and because of my intense schedule I struggle in other areas as far as keeping my room clean 24/7 or doing some of the chores around the house because I am not home a lot of the time that it is needed to be done. My parents have gotten to the point where they are OCD about the house being clean- and even when it is they still don't seem satisfied. I do try to pick up slack around the house but I feel as if they don't appreciate the handwork that I am putting into to pay for my college education and for medication that they can't afford for me. Recently, my father has been extremely controlling- to the point where he is just irrational and his reason for saying no to me is purely out of control or trying to micro-manage everything. They act like I am a rebellious teenager and took away my phone for not helping out around the house before I left for a christian concert (one of the only fun things I've gotten to do all summer.) Nevermind the fact that I HAVE to have my phone for my business because if I don't I have no way of staying in contact with customers/employees. ALSO I am almost 19 years old and leaving for college in 2 weeks, which I would think that they would be a a little more sentimental about me leaving and stop trying to control every little thing when I will be on my own in a few weeks living 4 hours away from them. I guess I expected it to stop once they realized this but truthfully, I don't think they ever will stop treating me like a child.

Sorry to vent, and I know it's probably confusing to understand what exactly I am asking for advice with. I guess I just feel that so many other parents who are christian do appreciate me and are proud of me and then when it comes to mine all they could care about is whether my room is clean or whether they feel like letting me go out that night. They never have real reasons as to why they say no to me doing stuff, or why they take my phone, etc. They have even threatened to take away my business if I don't keep my room clean. But the point is, even when my room is clean- it's something else that they are complaining about and make up an excuse to punish me for. They also treat me as if I am a rebellious child and just trying to get away from them and God, and the truth is- I do want to get away from them. They are extremely controlling to the point that it is so hard to love them and it makes me paranoid. However, I am still a strong believer despite all of this and my relationship with them has not effected my relationship with my savior. But they still will treat me as though I am turning my back on them, Christ, and everything righteous when I try to argue with them when they are unreasonable or irrational.

I just have been seeking the Lord about what to do for a while now. I am supposed to have some meeting with them tonight where they will probably tell me all of the things I am doing wrong and the things I need to change but they are the ones that don't get me. Every time I try to explain myself they call it talking back. I feel that they don't even really know how to be real parents and relate to their kids. They don't know how to be a best friend to their kid instead of barking orders at them 24/7 to get a response out of them.

Thank you all who read this whole thing. And thank you to anyone who has an answer or response to me about how you think I should handle this.
 

Ariel Gavriel

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I think you may be just needing someone to sound board off ~ anyway, enjoy the moments you do have with them because some time soon you'll be on your own and there will not be anyone to guide you accept the solid foundation they have laid out for you in their effort to ensure that you will walk the right path and make right decisions for yourself and also the input you have had in your Christian walk and relationship with Christ. I think that they mean well and some of their nagging comes for the concerns that they have for their little one who is about to fly the coup...Bless you!
 
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