Hate at work

Tom Mix · Aug 1, 2015

How many here have to deal with others who hate at work and how do you deal with it.

I myself chose to do as Romans 12:17 states "Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone."

At every job I have ever had there is always at least one person who choses to hate me. Is it just me or does this happen to everybody.

For the last two weeks I have had a woman who is very hate filled and jealous. I work hard and I help lots of people throughout the day. She does only her job and wants everybody to help her do her job and then when she is done she goes and sets in the air-conditioned front office.

I am always nice to her and I help her often and I also ask her if I can help her often but she choses to hate and tell others to not talk to me and last week she had her women friend tell others I was sexual harassing her. I have never talked to the woman and she is really quiet ugly but they do it to run me off.

When I arrive I tell her hello and throughout the day I ask her if she needs help and when she leaves I tell her to have good evening and I will see her tomorrow.

The deal is she calls herself a Christian but she does not act like one.

I wonder how many here have to deal with the same thing and I also wonder how many here do as she does. Call themselves Christian but always need drama and have great strife with others.

Everybody but her likes me at work, what can I do that I am not already doing.

In the last few days she started telling everybody that my kid is not mine, she does not even know me outside the work place and has never met my kid.

Is this normal?

William67 · Aug 1, 2015

Just as with any group, you get good and bad. Before I was self-employed, I choose to ignore the rude, vulgar, and hateful actions of my coworkers. If they were "bad enough", I chose to ignore that person completely.

Toro · Aug 1, 2015

Every day I show up there is hate at work.

I hate work, unfortunately work is a necessary evil until I win the lotto or something.

Work and I are hospitable, except on some days when we really have it out, usually we have a fall out on Monday or Tuesday. Wednesday and Thursday we usually get along. Fridays even when we fight its still not that bad cause we wont see eachother again til Monday.

Messy · Aug 1, 2015

Tom Mix said:
How many here have to deal with others who hate at work and how do you deal with it.

I myself chose to do as Romans 12:17 states "Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone."

At every job I have ever had there is always at least one person who choses to hate me. Is it just me or does this happen to everybody.

For the last two weeks I have had a woman who is very hate filled and jealous. I work hard and I help lots of people throughout the day. She does only her job and wants everybody to help her do her job and then when she is done she goes and sets in the air-conditioned front office.

I am always nice to her and I help her often and I also ask her if I can help her often but she choses to hate and tell others to not talk to me and last week she had her women friend tell others I was sexual harassing her. I have never talked to the woman and she is really quiet ugly but they do it to run me off.

When I arrive I tell her hello and throughout the day I ask her if she needs help and when she leaves I tell her to have good evening and I will see her tomorrow.

The deal is she calls herself a Christian but she does not act like one.

I wonder how many here have to deal with the same thing and I also wonder how many here do as she does. Call themselves Christian but always need drama and have great strife with others.

Everybody but her likes me at work, what can I do that I am not already doing.

In the last few days she started telling everybody that my kid is not mine, she does not even know me outside the work place and has never met my kid.

Is this normal?

No she's nuts. It's the devil. I'd just ignore her as most as possible, not be nice, not unfriendly but I just wouldn't say much If she thinks you want something from her, just not saying much, and it's a prayer request If they treat you like that.
I almost never had problems with people at the office, but now I got a new boss 2 years ago who tried to make my life miserably so I would leave, treated me like crap. First I got depressed but now I have a man who helps me because He wanted to fire me. I just pray for him and I stay friendly and forgave Him. Trouble is over now although He still wants to get rid of me. I don't care. He did ask what we thought about how he functioned and I told him the truth. One collegue didn't understand that I just stayed calm and friendly and kept doing my job.

Lazy_Proverb · Aug 1, 2015

The mind, our emotions, can affect our health. I think if people saw what hate can do to their body, those chemicals that are released, they'd avoid that emotion as much as possible.
While we can't cause others to conform to our druthers we can certainly avoid being impacted by the hate of others. At work, online, or anywhere at all.
I've found that people who hate are usually missing something in their life and they're mad about that. They take that resentment with them everywhere they go. Not looking to fill that void, or heal and repair it, but instead carrying the scar like a burden. And in the course of that bringing misery to others as a sideline.

Imagine being in hate for 8 hours a day at work. Are you really making a living?
My suggestion is to find your center and your happiness and blossom from there. If the hate becomes too much, if it is like coming against a sheer curtain every time you meet that person who is so full of hate, push through by reaching into that center in yourself where your joy is and draw it up into your awareness.
Picture someone who's reeling a bucket up from the bottom of a well. And that nourishing life giving fluid is replenishing your resolve to remain unaffected by that one you're now having to put up with.

It's their baggage. Not yours.

Messy · Aug 1, 2015

My mom worked as a secretary somewhere and she was always sweet, everyone loved her, but once after she had her morning Prayer there before work she came out of the room and a Guy started to yell and curse to her. She just forgave Him and later lead Him to the Lord.

Goodbook · Aug 1, 2015

She sounds a bit unhinged.
What I did, pray for those that hate me. But there comes a point where you go and pray and nothin comes out. I mean even dont know what to pray for, so asking the holy spirit, and there is NOTHING. Thats when its time to leave.
Paul says in the bible if you can leave slavery, do it. Its better to be free than working for babylon. In the meantime ask Him for strength to endure.

EazyMack · Aug 1, 2015

I bring the positive into work with me.

SkyWriting · Aug 1, 2015

Tom Mix said:
How many here have to deal with others who hate at work and how do you deal with it. I myself chose to do as Romans 12:17 states "Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone."

Then that must be the wrong verse. Love the hater as your favorite aunt. You must change.

Owlette · Aug 7, 2015

Tom Mix · Aug 7, 2015

Owlette said:
Sooo... Any luck in dealing with this person lately?

Just a little today. In the past two weeks she has managed to produce a circle of hate with two other women. They always work in their little group together and talk about how they do more then everybody and how everybody else is laze.

Yesterday I asked my boss if the new girl had any problems with me. She replied no but that she would ask around. I told her "no, do not ask around as I do not want any drama but let it be know that no matter what, I am always going to be nice to her no matter how much she cannot stand me and is rude to me". I have learned in the factory setting that if I was to approach the woman with the attitude that she would just puff up and look mad and then later say I was harassing her but if I first go to my boss and let them know that no matter how much hate somebody is going to produce towards me that I am always going to be nice to them and when they see that person being rude or saying I am being mean then my behind is covered as my boss knows better.

Its just factory drama. No matter where you go it will happen.

Today the woman learned that I make more than her. My job is harder and I help lots of people and it is more technical than hers. Well she started taking pictures of me while I was standing next to a co-worker asking about what we were going to do next and she sent the pictures to the plant manager. A little while later the plant manager came out and was watching me. He knows I work hard but he watched me for about 5 minutes and then walked away. Later I approached the women and told her that from last break until it was time to leave that I would dedicate that time to help her in her area and do some specific parts so she does not have to worry about them. It made her happy and defused her for a little while. The more she hates me the more I am going to do for her. Not to spite her but so she can see that I will not fight with her but I will bless her any time I can.

I am far from perfect but I do want harmony in my daily life. Jesus has told me how to act and live in Romans 12 and Ephesians 6. I am not always right but I will try. Here I play around a lot but we are all like one and have no hard feelings with each other or have any hate towards each other so I can get by with my silliness but in the work place I try to be friendly to all and help as many people as I can each day.

EyesOfKohl · Aug 8, 2015

I don't think I like anyone at my work. But I put my differences aside to try and benefit the company.

MarkSB · Aug 8, 2015

Tom Mix said:
How many here have to deal with others who hate at work and how do you deal with it.

I myself chose to do as Romans 12:17 states "Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone."

At every job I have ever had there is always at least one person who choses to hate me. Is it just me or does this happen to everybody.

For the last two weeks I have had a woman who is very hate filled and jealous. I work hard and I help lots of people throughout the day. She does only her job and wants everybody to help her do her job and then when she is done she goes and sets in the air-conditioned front office.

I am always nice to her and I help her often and I also ask her if I can help her often but she choses to hate and tell others to not talk to me and last week she had her women friend tell others I was sexual harassing her. I have never talked to the woman and she is really quiet ugly but they do it to run me off.

When I arrive I tell her hello and throughout the day I ask her if she needs help and when she leaves I tell her to have good evening and I will see her tomorrow.

The deal is she calls herself a Christian but she does not act like one.

I wonder how many here have to deal with the same thing and I also wonder how many here do as she does. Call themselves Christian but always need drama and have great strife with others.

Everybody but her likes me at work, what can I do that I am not already doing.

In the last few days she started telling everybody that my kid is not mine, she does not even know me outside the work place and has never met my kid.

Is this normal?

Definitely not normal. Everyone has to deal with conflict at work at some point, albeit some more than others. But when it comes to rumor spreading, false accusations of harassment and things of that nature, that's definitely not normal. I can't say that I've ever had to deal with that in the past.

"Do not repay evil for evil" is what I try to do as well. It just seems logical to me to not participate in the same behavior which we despise in others. Thankfully, I feel that the Lord has given me the presence of mind to stick with that at work, and I hope that He continues to help me grow in this area. I might be too passive in some of the confrontations which we have at work, but it has worked for me so far. I have one co-worker who has a tendency to go off at times, and if I address him in a calm, reasonable manner and he doesn't respond in kind, I usually walk away, and give him some time to cool off. At some point I think we need to have a conversation about him not going off at all, because I think its inevitably going to lead to bigger issues at some point. But sitting down and having that conversation isn't always the easiest thing.

The rumor-spreading I've never had to deal with... but you know who you are, so in the end what they're doing is just going to make them look silly - to any reasonable, level-headed person at least (the people who's opinions I actually value). I think you're doing the right thing with still trying to help them when necessary - after all, you're at work so that's what you're there to do. One word of caution, however, is if there is a desire to invoke sexual harassment against you, I would make sure that you're never alone with that person. Optimum would probably be to make sure there is always someone else there who you know and trust, when you are around her.

Owlette · Aug 8, 2015

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Leah71 · Aug 9, 2015

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