I'm losing it. I'm so tired, so lonely, so frustrated, I just don't know what to do.

anewman1993 · Jul 31, 2015

Ive posted quite a bit. I'm going to try to keep this short. I have health issues, I'm not going to go into this time. But I will randomly feel violent pain or like I'm going to puke. Along with extreme fatigue.I'm stuck at home all day. I can't meet people, I can't work a job, I can't go to school, I can't do anything at all that requires me to be somewhere at a set time. I'm sick so much that I can't make it, and I don't know if I'm going to be able to make it until about an hour or so before time to be there. I basicly go to church, and thats it.

I've somewhat been able to make peace with the physical agony. But the loneliness. its killing me. Ive never had a girlfriend. only been on 2 dates in my life. Kissed a girl once. I literally don't even know what a relationship is really like. I'm 22, no idea, other than it involves enjoying being around each other. I know I want one, but I can't, and in a way Ive made peace with that. Its not possible, I can't leave my house, how can I date? But it still leaves me with crippling loneliness. I don't want a woman to "fix" my loneliness mind you, But no contact with ANYONE outside my family face to face regularly? its killing me. I can't explain how much I wish I could just hug a girl that likes me.

I reach out online, Ive made friends that way, many of them women. I talk to them, and we are friends, its nice, I like it. But sometimes, those simply friendships turn bad, i say things I regret, we talk in ways we shouldn't. I regret those things and accept them for what they are, me sinning in an act try to reach out and cope somehow with this lonliness, to have some non platonic connection to any woman whatsoever. I repent, I make amends to not do it, but then tend to make the same mistake.

the loneliness is killing me. I haven't touched a person, not even a handshake, outside my family in months, at least not that I remember.

There is no hope of me being able to leave without a miracle. Ive been to so many doctors, and I'm so tired. I have no idea how to continue. I don't have any other choice but to continue, but I don't know how, at least without making the same mistakes over and over.

Travelers.Soul · Jul 31, 2015

I'll be praying for you. I don't know what you're going through exactly but I do sympathize. May God grant you peace and fellowship.

NothingIsImpossible · Jul 31, 2015

Well I've been in your situation. My health since I was 2 essentially made my life very hard. I won't get into details either but I will say hang in there. Your 22, still have a long life ahead of you. You never know what God has in store. I finally had a read date at the age of 25. My life was terrible but my biggest problem was I was getting angry and tired of life. It wasn't until people on here finally (after months of me posting) made me realize I needed to change (btw not saying your in the same boat since I can't know everything about you of course) but after I changed and focused more on God and not worrying about being with a girl, having amazing health...etc thats when my life changed.

I met an amazing woman from overseas in 2011 online. Which the old me would have said "Yeah right, you will never be able to afford to go there let alone have someone who wants to deal with you!". In 2013 we married. In 2014 she came to america! My health isn't perfect still. Actually recently I found out my right kidney is in a state of necrosis (dying). Its shrunk up, painful and will die soon. So my dies and life has become more strict, which is not easy since it already was before. Point is things can get better. Maybe Gods waiting for something from you. Or maybe He has something planned for you. Just stay strong, pray, read your bible, try to fellowship (even if online like at this forum). God has plans to help us, not hurt us!

BFine · Aug 1, 2015

Invite people to your home...there's churches around
who visit shut ins get on their list...mom did that.
They came to visit her monthly, some came more
than once a month.
Many do pastoral care...get connected with them.

Home care aides... hire someone to come in once
a month to help out...I use to do that for many people
2 hours here and there for folks who couldn't do much
or just needed companionship... it weren't just old people
either, I had patients of all ages.

See if you qualify for public assistance, get respite relief help
etc...whatever you qualify for.
Some libraries do mobile books, check and see if any in your
area does that...they bring books/movies etc to you.
Get connected, check your phone book for resources in your
area...contact Salvation Army I know some of them do things
for folks who are shut ins and or disabled...maybe you qualify?

My cousin got her own place years ago...she's special needs and
people come in to help do housework etc... Lots of programs out
there -- check 'em out.

mytel · Aug 1, 2015

Just got to hang in there and persevere man. It sounds like things are tough right now but we just have to trust in God and His plan and timing for our lives. Praying for you too.

DiscipleHeLovesToo · Aug 1, 2015

Luk 8:43-48 KJV
(43) And a woman having an issue of blood twelve years, which had spent all her living upon physicians, neither could be healed of any,
(44) Came behind him, and touched the border of his garment: and immediately her issue of blood stanched.
(45) And Jesus said, Who touched me? When all denied, Peter and they that were with him said, Master, the multitude throng thee and press thee, and sayest thou, Who touched me?
(46) And Jesus said, Somebody hath touched me: for I perceive that virtue is gone out of me.
(47) And when the woman saw that she was not hid, she came trembling, and falling down before him, she declared unto him before all the people for what cause she had touched him, and how she was healed immediately.
(48) And he said unto her, Daughter, be of good comfort: thy faith hath made thee whole; go in peace.

according to the law of Moses, a woman with an issue of blood was considered 'unclean'. this means that she couldn't go to the temple, couldn't live with her family, couldn't work in the religious community, and if she came near others under the law of Moses she had to shout 'unclean' and back away. if she violated any of these rules, she could be stoned to death on the spot. she was an outcast; despised by the 'heathen' she had to live among because of the exclusive nature of her people under the law of Moses - she had no one, not even family to help her; she was truly alone in a world filled with people. she lived this way for 12 years, and spent everything she had on the modern medicine of her day, and was no better for it - but actually worse.

but then she heard of Jesus; no doubt heard of all the miracles surrounding Him, but also at least some of what He taught. not everyone who walked the earth in Jesus' day was healed; only those who came to Him and heard His teaching and put faith in what they heard and then acted on that faith in some way. it was the word of God spoken in faith that made the difference. no doubt she had heard a great deal about how hopeless her condition was, but she decided to put no more confidence in those reports, and to believe the reports about Jesus instead. she was so sick of being sick that she risked being stoned to death on the spot as she pressed through the crowd to touch Jesus that day.

we know from what Peter said that people were all over Jesus that day, pressing in to touch Him physically; yet Jesus didn't ask who they were; only this woman; and there's no indication that anyone else got healed, although many were physically touching Him. her goal was to physically touch His clothes, but others were touching Him as well, and yet Jesus ignored Peter's statement, clarifying that someone had connected with the power to heal that He had in His spirit. the 'touch' that Jesus referred to, the 'touch' that caused that woman to connect with the healing power of God, was not a physical touch - it was a touch of faith; she touched Jesus with her heart; and the result was that the healing power of God flowed automatically without His conscious decision to heal her.

you've heard many things about Jesus too; some of it was true and some wasn't. if the modern medicine of our day were to tell you that if you isolate yourself from others and focus on some form of treatment, that you could be healed - would you risk the potential side effects of the treatment and go through with it? i think most people would; we see this all the time with radiation and chemotherapy - people willingly taking treatments that they know will actually make them sicker in faith that they will recover. many such people are reborn believers; they know God at some level and will go to heaven when they die - but how many are willing to do what this woman did - to put faith in someone she had never seen, based only on what she had heard about Him?

so you're sick of being sick; you've exhausted the treatments of the modern medicine of our day, and you're none the better, only worse. why not try what worked for her? focus on the word of God, letting God reveal to you what it means rather than believing what you've been taught that it means by people who don't have the healing power of God in their ministries? you don't have to throw your medicine away or stop going to doctors - you just have to make God's word the final authority in your life; you have to seek to hear the word of God spoken in faith by people whose ministries are filled with the testimony of other's who have touched the Master with their heart and connected to the healing power of God. this will help:

http://moorelife.org/listseries.php?xml=rss/TruthOrTradition.xml
http://www.awmi.net/extra/audio/1014
http://www.awmi.net/extra/audio/1033
http://www.awmi.net/extra/audio/1036
http://moorelife.org/listseries.php?xml=rss/ReceivingAndMinisteringHealing.xml
http://moorelife.org/listseries.php?xml=rss/ReceivingAndMinisteringHealing2.xml

anewman1993 · Aug 1, 2015

dreaminofireland said:
I'll be praying for you. I don't know what you're going through exactly but I do sympathize. May God grant you peace and fellowship.

thank you , Ineed all the prayer I can get, and so much more

NothingIsImpossible2 said:
Well I've been in your situation. My health since I was 2 essentially made my life very hard. I won't get into details either but I will say hang in there. Your 22, still have a long life ahead of you. You never know what God has in store. I finally had a read date at the age of 25. My life was terrible but my biggest problem was I was getting angry and tired of life. It wasn't until people on here finally (after months of me posting) made me realize I needed to change (btw not saying your in the same boat since I can't know everything about you of course) but after I changed and focused more on God and not worrying about being with a girl, having amazing health...etc thats when my life changed.

I met an amazing woman from overseas in 2011 online. Which the old me would have said "Yeah right, you will never be able to afford to go there let alone have someone who wants to deal with you!". In 2013 we married. In 2014 she came to america! My health isn't perfect still. Actually recently I found out my right kidney is in a state of necrosis (dying). Its shrunk up, painful and will die soon. So my dies and life has become more strict, which is not easy since it already was before. Point is things can get better. Maybe Gods waiting for something from you. Or maybe He has something planned for you. Just stay strong, pray, read your bible, try to fellowship (even if online like at this forum). God has plans to help us, not hurt us!

I just can't do online dating, I'm to paranoid, and I can't imagine dating someone without being able to so much as hug them.

BFine said:
Invite people to your home...there's churches around
who visit shut ins get on their list...mom did that.
They came to visit her monthly, some came more
than once a month.
Many do pastoral care...get connected with them.

Home care aides... hire someone to come in once
a month to help out...I use to do that for many people
2 hours here and there for folks who couldn't do much
or just needed companionship... it weren't just old people
either, I had patients of all ages.

See if you qualify for public assistance, get respite relief help
etc...whatever you qualify for.
Some libraries do mobile books, check and see if any in your
area does that...they bring books/movies etc to you.
Get connected, check your phone book for resources in your
area...contact Salvation Army I know some of them do things
for folks who are shut ins and or disabled...maybe you qualify?

My cousin got her own place years ago...she's special needs and
people come in to help do housework etc... Lots of programs out
there -- check 'em out.

Honestly, I don't want that. I don't want people to come out just cause its "the thing to do" I want friends, I want a girlfriend, I want actual relationships, not just someone coming out once a week. I need real friends. I'm not even a member at the church I got to, and only like, 2 people know I have health issues. I keep the number low because last couple times people found out in a church I couldn't walk 3 feet without someone having a pity party about my life. If I managed to get out the last thing I want to do is dwell on my sickness.

mytel said:
Just got to hang in there and persevere man. It sounds like things are tough right now but we just have to trust in God and His plan and timing for our lives. Praying for you too.

They have been tough for years and getting tougher. I feel like I'm dying, not physically, but emotionally, maybe even spiritually. I'm surprised I haven't fallen over dead yet, it would almost be a releif if that happened, though I certainly am not suicidal. I don't want much, I really don't. Is managble health and a wife to much to ask for (not that I want to get married tomorrow or anything, but it would be REALLY nice to hurry up and meet her).

Thank you for the prayer. I'll try to persevere but at this point I dont know how.

DiscipleHeLovesToo said:
Luk 8:43-48 KJV
(43) And a woman having an issue of blood twelve years, which had spent all her living upon physicians, neither could be healed of any,
(44) Came behind him, and touched the border of his garment: and immediately her issue of blood stanched.
(45) And Jesus said, Who touched me? When all denied, Peter and they that were with him said, Master, the multitude throng thee and press thee, and sayest thou, Who touched me?
(46) And Jesus said, Somebody hath touched me: for I perceive that virtue is gone out of me.
(47) And when the woman saw that she was not hid, she came trembling, and falling down before him, she declared unto him before all the people for what cause she had touched him, and how she was healed immediately.
(48) And he said unto her, Daughter, be of good comfort: thy faith hath made thee whole; go in peace.

according to the law of Moses, a woman with an issue of blood was considered 'unclean'. this means that she couldn't go to the temple, couldn't live with her family, couldn't work in the religious community, and if she came near others under the law of Moses she had to shout 'unclean' and back away. if she violated any of these rules, she could be stoned to death on the spot. she was an outcast; despised by the 'heathen' she had to live among because of the exclusive nature of her people under the law of Moses - she had no one, not even family to help her; she was truly alone in a world filled with people. she lived this way for 12 years, and spent everything she had on the modern medicine of her day, and was no better for it - but actually worse.

but then she heard of Jesus; no doubt heard of all the miracles surrounding Him, but also at least some of what He taught. not everyone who walked the earth in Jesus' day was healed; only those who came to Him and heard His teaching and put faith in what they heard and then acted on that faith in some way. it was the word of God spoken in faith that made the difference. no doubt she had heard a great deal about how hopeless her condition was, but she decided to put no more confidence in those reports, and to believe the reports about Jesus instead. she was so sick of being sick that she risked being stoned to death on the spot as she pressed through the crowd to touch Jesus that day.

we know from what Peter said that people were all over Jesus that day, pressing in to touch Him physically; yet Jesus didn't ask who they were; only this woman; and there's no indication that anyone else got healed, although many were physically touching Him. her goal was to physically touch His clothes, but others were touching Him as well, and yet Jesus ignored Peter's statement, clarifying that someone had connected with the power to heal that He had in His spirit. the 'touch' that Jesus referred to, the 'touch' that caused that woman to connect with the healing power of God, was not a physical touch - it was a touch of faith; she touched Jesus with her heart; and the result was that the healing power of God flowed automatically without His conscious decision to heal her.

you've heard many things about Jesus too; some of it was true and some wasn't. if the modern medicine of our day were to tell you that if you isolate yourself from others and focus on some form of treatment, that you could be healed - would you risk the potential side effects of the treatment and go through with it? i think most people would; we see this all the time with radiation and chemotherapy - people willingly taking treatments that they know will actually make them sicker in faith that they will recover. many such people are reborn believers; they know God at some level and will go to heaven when they die - but how many are willing to do what this woman did - to put faith in someone she had never seen, based only on what she had heard about Him?

so you're sick of being sick; you've exhausted the treatments of the modern medicine of our day, and you're none the better, only worse. why not try what worked for her? focus on the word of God, letting God reveal to you what it means rather than believing what you've been taught that it means by people who don't have the healing power of God in their ministries? you don't have to throw your medicine away or stop going to doctors - you just have to make God's word the final authority in your life; you have to seek to hear the word of God spoken in faith by people whose ministries are filled with the testimony of other's who have touched the Master with their heart and connected to the healing power of God. this will help:

Ive been though all that, done all that, I can't snap my fingers and be healed, ive prayed and prayed and prayed, so much prayer about it. Thats all I can do, pray and have faith that if gods not healing me there is a reason.

anewman1993 · Aug 1, 2015

Honestly, right now I just want to curl up , cry for a while, and drop dead. I'm so frustrated, Ive done everything I can. all I want is to be mildly health and to have a woman in my life romantically, for once, is that to much to ask? really ? I just want someone I can hold onto and hug and love. is that really to much.

Gentle Lamb · Aug 1, 2015

Maybe stop chasing after the woman, because this seems to have become the idol in your life, finding a relationship. Let it go. Let God take over and do what He wants to do in your life. People suggest all kinds of things to you but you keep turning down suggestions and keep going back to this false idol and saying how much you want it need it crave it. Let it go man. That's your biggest trip up right now is that you're so lost in that desire. When you stop trying so hard and give up wanting what is currently out of God's will for your life and start desiring God's will for your life, that's when things begin to change. Ask God to daily show you His will for your life and give you the strength to carry it through, that is exactly what you need right now and ask Him for the strength to let go of everything that is not currently in His will for your life. You keep complaining about what you don't have, keep saying you want the relationship so much, yet clearly that is not within reach and that is for a reason. God will bring that along when you are ready. You are not ready. Focus on God and leave the idol alone.

anewman1993 · Aug 1, 2015

justneedhelp said:
Maybe stop chasing after the woman, because this seems to have become the idol in your life, finding a relationship. Let it go. Let God take over and do what He wants to do in your life. People suggest all kinds of things to you but you keep turning down suggestions and keep going back to this false idol and saying how much you want it need it crave it. Let it go man. That's your biggest trip up right now is that you're so lost in that desire. When you stop trying so hard and give up wanting what is currently out of God's will for your life and start desiring God's will for your life, that's when things begin to change. Ask God to daily show you His will for your life and give you the strength to carry it through, that is exactly what you need right now and ask Him for the strength to let go of everything that is not currently in His will for your life. You keep complaining about what you don't have, keep saying you want the relationship so much, yet clearly that is not within reach and that is for a reason. God will bring that along when you are ready. You are not ready. Focus on God and leave the idol alone.

Haha chasing women? I can't leave my house! I WISH I could chase women. I have a few friends Ive made over the internet who are women, but I'm hardly "chasing" them, I have no desire to be anything more than a friend with them, I don't do the whole online relationship thing. I wish I could just "let go" of the desire. But put yourself in my shoes. Ive seen people outside my family ONCE in the last 3-4 weeks. Thats how little face to face contact I have with people outside my family. I ask god for strength, i ask for him to show me his will, I basicly cry help 24/7 at this point. Its hardly an idol, any more than wanting to leave my house is an idol.

NothingIsImpossible · Aug 2, 2015

This will be a semi-long post buts its important...

just can't do online dating, I'm to paranoid, and I can't imagine dating someone without being able to so much as hug them.

Well sometimes that just how it is for some people. Your stuck having to go online. And it doesn't mean you can't hug them. If they live near you, you can have a date with them right away. For me? I didn't even get to see my wife in person for over a year since she was overseas. But we still made it just fine. Don't be to paranoid about online dating. Its relatively safe. As long as you are honest and know what your doing things will be fine.

I don't do the whole online relationship thing.

How do you know God doesn't have someone online for you to meet like he did for me? Are you doubting what God can do? If you don't want to try it then your desires you have obviously aren't bad enough. More on that below after this next quote....

I wish I could just "let go" of the desire. But put yourself in my shoes.

I was in your shoes for much longer then you. I was desperate even. Its why I met some girls online that were HORRIBLE but I ignored that because I just wanted to be with someone. I almost married one of them!

As someone who has been in yours shoes and then some I was say this with all honesty and bluntness. You do seemed a bit obsessed (like I was) with being with a woman. And on top of it your essentially wanting a pity party (like I was also going). And lastly you may say your praying for strength but your actions are also just like mine. And by that I mean you aren't really letting God control it. You even said you don't want to do online. So its saying then that you doubt God can help you there. My name on this forum has changed since my old account was lost, but now its "Nothing Is Impossible". Why?

Because after I was on here years ago doing word for word what your doing and acting the same way. I after a LONG time of posting the same story over and over had someone really touch me inside with a post they made. It really made me look at my life and what I was doing. I realized I was the reason I couldn't find anyone. I had lost sight of God and focused on me, me and me. In this case especially on finding a woman to be with. So even though you say you wish you could let go of that desire... its not impossible at all. When you come to the bottom of the pit you will realize God is the only way and you have no choice but to let go.

So I let go of my pity, my urge to be with a woman. I focused on God. Went to church more. Prayed more. Did devotions more...etc. Things I was starting to deeply neglect. After a week or so of changing I closed down my accounts online that were at datings sites. I went to close my last account at a christian dating site. There happened to be a message in my inbox. I was going to delete the account and not even read the message. Thats when it happened.

I felt like God was, not sure how to explain it. Like God was telling me something. Not literally like speaking. But like it was in my mind.. a sense... a calling? Whatever you want to say it was it was telling me to go that inbox and trust Him (God) on this. So I went to it and it was a message from a woman overseas. Someone from an asian country. I thought "Eh, probably fake. And anyways that would never work. So far. So much money...etc". I doubted for a few minutes. But that voice was there. He was telling me to trust in Him. Not to have doubt because now was the time of truth for me.

So long story short it was my future wife. This girl to some degree had some of her own issues such as health issues and so on. Neither of us really were expecting each other because we each (like most humans) had an idea of who and what we wanted in someone. After a few messages back and forth we were in tears. We understood each other as if we had been together our whole lives. Almost as if Someone had set us up to meet at that exact time (obviously hinting that it was God).

We dated for a short time then engaged. We talked on Skype when her connection was good. We emailed and facebooked. And despite me having next to nothing. God provided most all the money I needed to go there, get married and to eventually bring her here. Though I will say its because God had spoke to me and said I must trust Him and tithe what is His. So not long after that is when the blessings came in whether it was money or plans to go there.

This all was amazing. So many miracles and blessings happened that theres not a single person that could say "Oh that was just luck!". It was God in action. Turning me from someone who once was good, then became bad, back to a better, stronger, more trusting person as a christian. And now I am happily married and life may not always be easy but I am thankful for God and my wife. Truth is He neve left my side even when I was mad at him, even when I mad at the world that I couldn't do much, couldn't find a girl..etc. He was giving my hugs and teaching me things until I heard what I needed to hear... the truth.

Now if your like I was you will likely get upset at me and think I am trying to hurt your feelings. And I do apologize if thats how you feel because its how I felt when this was told to me about letting go. But looking back if not for that person saying it, I would be in my deep pit still, angry, upset and even less focused on God. Though obviously I am hoping your not upset and will see the light sooner then I did because I know... Nothing Is Impossible (With God).

Gentle Lamb · Aug 2, 2015

anewman1993 said:
Haha chasing women? I can't leave my house! I WISH I could chase women. I have a few friends Ive made over the internet who are women, but I'm hardly "chasing" them, I have no desire to be anything more than a friend with them, I don't do the whole online relationship thing. I wish I could just "let go" of the desire. But put yourself in my shoes. Ive seen people outside my family ONCE in the last 3-4 weeks. Thats how little face to face contact I have with people outside my family. I ask god for strength, i ask for him to show me his will, I basicly cry help 24/7 at this point. Its hardly an idol, any more than wanting to leave my house is an idol.

I have been in your shoes and I too made the desire for the relationship an idol, so I do understand where you are coming from. I also understand to some extent, the isolation, as my illness has at times kept me home. But what I am trying to tell you is let go of chasing what is not currently in God's will for your life. You keep posting about how badly you want the woman in your life - it's an idol to you. God will bring that when it is time. It is not time yet, let it go. Ask Him to show you what He wants for you right now. Try to understand that what I am saying is to help you, not because I don't understand you or haven't been in your shoes. To some extent, I have. But it seems like you are torturing yourself over what you do not have. Ask God to help you accept what you do have, ask Him to help you surrender, and ask Him to help you to stop being so resistant to the idea of surrender.

Gentle Lamb · Aug 2, 2015

BFine posted this on another thread, but I think it can benefit you too.

*I found this list that covers things that can hinder prayers from being answered...

1) Unforgiveness: If we do not forgive others, our Heavenly Father will not forgive us. (Matthew 6:15)

2) An Unthankful Heart: Give God thanks in all things, because in all trials, painful situations,
He is always with us.
1 Thessalonians 5:18 says "...in everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you."

3) Unbelief: Pray with confidence, believing God to do what He said He will do. James 1:6-7 says "But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for he who doubts is like a wave of the sea driven and tossed by the wind. For let not that man suppose that he will receive anything from the Lord."

4) Selfishness: Ask for the things in God's will, the outcome of which is to honour and glorify God.
James 4:3 says "You ask and do not receive because you ask amiss, that you may spend it on your pleasures."

5) Failure to ask God to supply our needs: James 4:2 says "You lust and do not have.
You murder and covet and cannot obtain. You fight and war.
Yet you do not have because you do not ask."

6) Disobedience: Pray and ask God with confidence, obeying His commandments.
1 John 3:22 says "And whatever we ask we receive from Him, because we keep
His commandments and do those things which are pleasing in His sight."

7) Praying Alone: Pray with others and agree in faith.
Matthew 18:19 says "Again I say to you that if two of you agree on earth concerning
anything that they ask, it will be done for them by My Father in heaven."

8) Disharmony in family or with others: Be at peace with one another.
1 Peter 3:7 says "Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding,
giving honour to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together
of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered."

9) Idols- Not putting God first in our lives: Ezekiel 14:2-5 says
"And the word of the Lord came to me, saying, 'Son of man, these men
have set up their idols in their hearts, and put before them that which
causes them to stumble into iniquity. Should I let Myself be inquired of by them?
Therefore speak to them, 'Thus says the Lord God: 'Everyone of the house of Israel
who sets up his idols in his heart, and puts before him what causes him to stumble
into iniquity, and then comes to the prophet, I the Lord will answer him who comes,
according to the multitude of his idols, that I may seize the house of Israel by their
heart, because they are all estranged from Me by their idols. '"

10 Forgetting the Poor- Ignoring and not having compassion.
Proverbs 21:13 says "Whoever shuts his ears to the cry of the poor will also cry
himself and not be heard."

11) Lack of reconciliation- Bearing malice, hate, grudge etc.
Matthew 5:23,24 says "Therefore if you bring your gift to the altar, and there
remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there
before the altar, and go your way. First be reconciled to your brother, and then
come and offer your gift."

12) Not wanting to wait on God:
Psalm 37:7-9
"Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him; fret not yourself over the
one who prospers in his way, over the man who carries out evil devices!
Refrain from anger, and forsake wrath! Fret not yourself; it tends only to evil.
For the evildoers shall be cut off, but those who wait for the Lord shall inherit the land."

Another thing that I notice with you is that when we comment and try to help you, you are still resistant to what we say. Stop resisting. Yield. Give in to God. Stop fighting what He has for you right now and see how He begins to change things, but first, you must surrender. And please try to understand that I am telling you all this from the perspective from one who has, to some extent, been there in your same shoes!!! I understand your situation is incredibly difficult, but it always goes back to our Heavenly Father wanting to teach, shape, and mold us in the situations where we are.

DiscipleHeLovesToo · Aug 2, 2015

anewman1993 said:
Ive been though all that, done all that, I can't snap my fingers and be healed, ive prayed and prayed and prayed, so much prayer about it. Thats all I can do, pray and have faith that if gods not healing me there is a reason.

you wouldn't expect Jesus to go to the cross today to pay for your sins, because you know from His word that He already did that, and you know that if you don't put faith in what His word says that He already did at the cross, you won't receive that already-available spiritual rebirth. Healing is the same; you must put faith in what Jesus already did at the whipping post in order to receive that already-available healing - waiting for God to heal you is like waiting for Jesus to go to the cross again.

when you mess up, you don't wonder if maybe there's a reason why God hasn't yet made you a new creature, you go back to His word to confirm that in spite of what your 5 senses tell you, that you have already become a new creature. when you have health issues, don't wonder if there's a reason that God hasn't healed you, go back to His word to confirm that you were already healed by His stripes. the battle is in your mind, not your body.

people receive spiritual rebirth by placing faith in what God's word says that Jesus did at the cross, and esteeming His word above what the 5 senses tell them. people receive healing by placing faith in what God's word says that Jesus did at the whipping post, and esteeming His word above what the 5 senses tell them. Jesus never told anyone 'i will heal you'; time and again He said 'your faith has made you whole'; 'be it unto you even as you believe', 'if thou canst believe, all things are possible to him that believeth', even when they were still physically afflicted. first comes faith, then comes results.

this will help you:

http://www.awmi.net/extra/audio/1033
http://www.awmi.net/extra/audio/1036
http://moorelife.org/listseries.php?xml=rss/ReceivingAndMinisteringHealing.xml

I'm losing it. I'm so tired, so lonely, so frustrated, I just don't know what to do.

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