I love money

I want to honor you for being honest about this. I wish more people could be this honest!

You are, of course, in very good company: there's all sorts of obsession with "sexual sin" (especially now), but the fact is, at least in this country, idolizing money is a far, far bigger obstacle to living the life that Jesus called us to than anything else.

But rather than focus on this as a moral or spiritual issue, let's focus at a very practical level.

You find that you are being stingy, parsimonious, maybe even mean spirited sometimes. You don't particularly like yourself in those moments. And yet, you have a deeply ingrained sense of responsible stewardship! That's not necessarily bad! It just shows that a good quality is a little out of control. Lest it become an actual idol, and completely rule the way you live your life, it's going to be important to change your relationship to money, to wealth, to resources.

I have a number of experiments for you, but let's start with one.

For just one day, buy everything for everyone else. Friends at lunch? Girlfriend at dinner? Cover it all. Do you ever go to a bar? Buy the bar a round. Really splurge. Each time you start to feel queasy about the cost, remember the rich young man. Anytime you start to feel that maybe this is not just, that others haven't earned it the way you have, remember that God's love is exuberant and given without any of us deserving it... and that we are called upon to love each other in the same way. Let spending some extra cash be a measurable way of demonstrating the largeness of your heart.

At the conclusion of this day, notice how it felt. Notice how you feel. There will be good and bad. Notice them both.

Of course, doing this for a single day is going to be a small hit to your bank account. You could not sustain this, unreciprocated. So we are not going to focus on the bottom line for this. Just the feelings. There are other ways to balance generosity with good stewardship of your resources. Before we get to that, we want to give you a little taste of the emotional rewards of generosity. (Or the emotional pains of generosity. Both are real, just like anything else.)

Think you can do it? If you do it, come back and report, and let's see if we can take it deeper.

One more thing!

It is possible to be completely generous, completely giving with your resources, and yet have those resources continually renewing. By giving away, you find yourself becoming a vehicle for more wealth than you previously had access to. At the end of this road you will not find yourself broke and depleted: you will find yourself overflowing with abundance: more friends, more love, and more resources.

By bringing your attention to the flow of wealth, rather than the static possession of wealth, you will find that more wealth -- and more love -- flow through your life.

Hi Holoman,

That was some great advice given by Matthias. I would agree with him and also just want to add a few things that have helped me. Praying a verse from the Bible over a struggle has helped me greatly in many different areas. Here's one from Hebrews that applies to your struggle and perhaps write it down on a notecard if you like and look it over when you feel anxious or worried about money.
Hebrews 13:5
"Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said, 'Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.'"

It's just small advice but can help you turn your focus from your own feelings and meditate on God's Word, the most powerful tool of change available to humanity.

Blessings in Christ!