" Patience Is A Virtue "

HannahElizaW · May 25, 2015

I can't keep going on this merry-go-round. Of all the testimonies I've heard of where it was like a night and day difference. Like Jesus suddenly turned off the lights and the person was brought to their knees with tear-stung faces repenting and confessing Jesus as their Savior and their life has made a drastic change.....

My mother went through that....as well as my dad......my teacher...my boss...her husband probably did too....my coworker...as well as many other believers I've met with.

When it comes to me; I've wrestled with OCD for months finally engraving the fact that I do very much so believe God is God, Jesus is The Son of God, and The Word is the Living Truth...it's just all in all there are days (though excruciatingly few) where I may draw myself with the possibility that I could somehow be a Christian-Athiest (or luke warm Christian).

The thing is is is that I want to be saved. I want to repent. I want to be God's child. But when I'm faced with people saying "You wouldn't want that if you weren't already saved" and the controversial feelings I'm dealing with, it's hard to believe.

I feel lukewarm. I had to fight myself to believe and now I can hardly tell if what I have is belief. Did Jesus die on the cross for my sins? Yes....unfortunately though, I can never seem to break down in tears with praise in my heart like all (or most) of my fellow believers can.

I'm tired of it though. I've prayed. And I've prayed. And I've prayed. And I've prayed. And I've prayed. Then I turn on the TV to something like AD The Bible Continues and the most recent episode was of Saul's conversion with him repeatedly saying "I was blind but now I see".

I want this change in me. But God hasn't quite yet given it to me. Am I missing something or am I supposed to wait it out? Please help...

2KnowHim · May 26, 2015

Hi Hannah, first of all I know that you are not alone in the way you are feeling, I have met many in my journey with Him who is, or has been, in the same place you seemed to be in.

I can tell you this, that if you truly want an intimate relationship with Him it won't come through others, it will be just you and Him. I can also say that....I have also found that He is always (in His ever so gentle way) asking us to let go of something, (only known to the individual). Once you reconize what it is He is asking you to let go of, then I promise you, you will know His presence. It depends on how bad you want to know Him.

There is no Greater Love, than one lay down his life for another.
The same as He did for us.

Blessings

x141 · May 26, 2015

For what it is worth ... never measure (by thought) your self or your experience by another's. This for all tense and purposes is the product of a seed that is from without you. When we look at the words of a serpent (or whatever form/image he appears to you in), we see the nature of them is to cultivate the desire to be like someone (which has the opposite effect on who we believe we are) though we must agree with our adversary (the judge), whether this someone is a devil or even God, or Jesus himself it merely leads to the same confusion. If Jesus had tried to prove he was the son of God that day in the wilderness, he would have become lost as to the son (this is my believed son in whom I am well pleased) that he already was from before the beginning, which is just as relative to you as it was to him.

You will undoubtedly come to revelations that will overwhelm you with a joy that flows up out of you, but it will not be as something that comes from outside of you, so don't seek it over here or over there, instead learn to quite your mind and you will know he is God, in you, and these experiences we will not have enough words to describe.

2KnowHim · May 26, 2015

x141 said:
You will undoubtedly come to revelations that will overwhelm you with a joy that flows up out of you, but it will not be as something that comes from outside of you, so don't seek it over here or over there, instead learn to quite your mind and you will know he is God, in you, and these experiences we will not have enough words to describe.

Boy that's the Truth!! We try to use earthly, English language to describe Spiritual Realitys, and gets lost in the translation so much.

I was just thinking this morning how susceptible we are to others thoughts and words, and images. Whether good or bad.
And how we have let these things define who we are and what The Word says instead of the Only One who truly can.
Even when we read the scriptures we already have others teachings, understandings, words and images in our mind/soul when we approach them.

For example...when we come across the word "tree" in scripture, I think all of us could admit that an image of that thing that grows out in our yard comes to our mind. But if I were to tell you that trees, speak, clap their hands, and walk, you would think I'm mad right? But God does in the bible.
If a tree is only a tree (in scripture) then how does it set me free?
And if the image I've seen and climbed all my younger days is really describing in scripture what is meant, then why hasn't it set me free long before now?

Even others opinions of us, if we let them define us instead of God, then we will never be set free.

x141 · May 26, 2015

The confusion we come out of is our soul's perception of the truth/husband/self/seed based on an image that is not of us, (
for the LORD hath created a new thing in the earth, A woman shall compass a man.), but as it says, first the elder, natural, Ishmael, Esau, Dan, or Adam.

The woman gave to me, and I did eat ... she is the mother of all living ( And upon her forehead was a name written, MYSTERY, BABYLON THE GREAT, THE MOTHER OF HARLOTS AND ABOMINATIONS OF THE EARTH.) not a bad thing, a needful thing as much as the serpent/Judas/Moses' staff/God's rod (in picture) was needed).

Once we understand our soul then we can rule over her (or over the process), as God was trying to show to Cain about the process happening in his soul who gave him his countenance.

2KnowHim · May 26, 2015

Needful thing indeed. understanding this is so amazing, and after all this time I'm finally understanding you too,ha ha.
David spoke to his soul all the time, so he must have known this too.

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" Patience Is A Virtue "

HannahElizaW

God Says It, THAT Settles It!

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