Why is 27 too young to have a baby?

Wolves · Apr 22, 2015

Recently I made a random comment about babies to a work colleague who responded with "You're so young though, you have years ahead of you before you will start trying to a baby!"

I've also had people tell me that I am very young to be married.

And it seems that increasingly it is a very common opinion that 27, my age, is way too young to be married or have a baby. (This seems to be the dominant opinion where I live anyway). My husband is 26, a year younger than me, and people often think he is also too young.

It really upsets me because I love my husband, who I have been with for 8 years and married for 1.5, and because lately I've been thinking a lot about maybe starting a family as it's something I really want and feel like bringing another soul into this world to love and nurture is the next step in our relationship. I definitely feel ready, we are very emotionally and financially stable. But then people tell me that we are too young and it makes me second guess myself.

How can I not care what other people think? Why do they feel 27 is too young to be married and/or to have a baby? Is there any validity to this widespread societal opinion and maybe should I reconsider my motives at this age? Would I regret having a child at this age?

It's kind-of a downer when people judge you based on your age

High Fidelity · Apr 22, 2015

I think most people try and tie age and financial stability together.

If you're a stable couple and have financial stability and a decent safety net, I'd say it's not too young at all.

Wolves · Apr 22, 2015

Denny Crane said:
I think most people try and tie age and financial stability together.

If you're a stable couple and have financial stability and a decent safety net, I'd say it's not too young at all.

Maybe! But if they know us, they'd know we're both pretty financially stable. We've both been in our jobs (professional) for 5+ years, we own our own home and are $15,000 AHEAD in our repayments! I feel that we are in an awesome place, but for some reason, when it comes down to it, the age thing for others just seems too young. It makes me wonder if I should rethink our plans because we would regret starting a family at this age or something! (Based on everyone's remarks...)

Thanks for your reply

High Fidelity · Apr 22, 2015

Wolves said:
Maybe! But if they know us, they'd know we're both pretty financially stable. We've both been in our jobs (professional) for 5+ years, we own our own home and are $15,000 AHEAD in our repayments! I feel that we are in an awesome place, but for some reason, when it comes down to it, the age thing for others just seems too young. It makes me wonder if I should rethink our plans because we would regret starting a family at this age or something! (Based on everyone's remarks...)

Thanks for your reply

I think the only real regret you may have, and it might sound harsh, is living your life without a child while you're in the best possible position to do things you've maybe wanted to do for a long time.

Maybe take a vacation or two to some countries or areas you've always wanted to go etc, because when you have a child I'd imagine most of those opportunities have to go on hold for quite a few years.

Part of me believes if you just explained your position they wouldn't question it. Another larger part believes no matter how good-willed their intent is, you shouldn't have to justify yourself to them.

Wolves · Apr 22, 2015

Thanks for your reply, Denny Crane. I guess it's something we need to think about. I feel like I have to justify myself towards people, definitely, because I feel like I'm being persecuted or negatively judged for my age. I feel like I'm the only one who believes 27 is not an abnormal age to be married and to want kids!

We've travelled already, been there done that, feel that we are in a good position but then people make me feel like I'll regret it which makes me question our decisions! Oh well... we'll just have to sit on it I guess. In the meantime I'll just be a super young (apparently) married person!

Messy · Apr 22, 2015

Maybe you look young. When my mother was in the hospital and got my sister when she was 25 people were making comments, lol they thought she was 16 and my dad was the same age but looked very young too.

Wolves · Apr 22, 2015

Messy said:
Maybe you look young. When my mother was in the hospital and got my sister people were making comments, lol they thought she was 16 and my dad was the same age but looked very young too.

I do look young, Messy, and I hate it! I could easily pass for about 16. I think looking young definitely affects people's opinions of me which totally sucks

keith99 · Apr 23, 2015

Wolves said:
Recently I made a random comment about babies to a work colleague who responded with "You're so young though, you have years ahead of you before you will start trying to a baby!"

I've also had people tell me that I am very young to be married.

And it seems that increasingly it is a very common opinion that 27, my age, is way too young to be married or have a baby. (This seems to be the dominant opinion where I live anyway). My husband is 26, a year younger than me, and people often think he is also too young.

It really upsets me because I love my husband, who I have been with for 8 years and married for 1.5, and because lately I've been thinking a lot about maybe starting a family as it's something I really want and feel like bringing another soul into this world to love and nurture is the next step in our relationship. I definitely feel ready, we are very emotionally and financially stable. But then people tell me that we are too young and it makes me second guess myself.

How can I not care what other people think? Why do they feel 27 is too young to be married and/or to have a baby? Is there any validity to this widespread societal opinion and maybe should I reconsider my motives at this age? Would I regret having a child at this age?

It's kind-of a downer when people judge you based on your age

Bolding mine.

My family tends to marry late, have kids late.

27 seems just fine to me. You have been together for 8 years and may have know each other before that. The ONLY thing that might be a little short if the length of marriage before the baby.

Since this under trying to conceive I'm thinking you are not yet pregnant and only trying. If you have not been trying long I do not see the 1.5 years as being too short.

If you have been trying for a while then I could argue against the initial decision, but if you are still trying I'd have to argue far more strongly that in hindsight it was right. Better to not have a ticking clock that seems more like a gun to your head.

All the above does hinge a bit on financial stability and you have meed it very clear that your financial situation is quite sound enough for children.

mina · Apr 23, 2015

It's not; people will just always have opinions about the right age to marry and have kids for everyone. You just have to do what is right for you and your husband; it's no one else's business.

I'm expecting my first child and according to the people/society where I grew up; I'm too old. But, according to the people/society where I live now, I'm too young. If you listen to the people around you to dictate your life; you'll get no where. I also look young and people assume far too much, lol. I don't mind; I'd rather look younger than I am than older than I am. It's not up to anyone except you, your husband, and God. The end.

South Bound · Apr 23, 2015

Wolves said:
Recently I made a random comment about babies to a work colleague who responded with "You're so young though, you have years ahead of you before you will start trying to a baby!"

I've also had people tell me that I am very young to be married.

And it seems that increasingly it is a very common opinion that 27, my age, is way too young to be married or have a baby. (This seems to be the dominant opinion where I live anyway). My husband is 26, a year younger than me, and people often think he is also too young.

It really upsets me because I love my husband, who I have been with for 8 years and married for 1.5, and because lately I've been thinking a lot about maybe starting a family as it's something I really want and feel like bringing another soul into this world to love and nurture is the next step in our relationship. I definitely feel ready, we are very emotionally and financially stable. But then people tell me that we are too young and it makes me second guess myself.

How can I not care what other people think? Why do they feel 27 is too young to be married and/or to have a baby? Is there any validity to this widespread societal opinion and maybe should I reconsider my motives at this age? Would I regret having a child at this age?

It's kind-of a downer when people judge you based on your age

The only reason people believe that 27 is too young is that we live in an increasingly materialistic and selfish society.

People make the mistake of thinking from one life event to another. "When I turn 16, I'm going to get my drivers' license and then I'll...", "When I turn 18, I'm moving out and then I'll...", "When I get out of college, I'll...", "When I get that job I'll..." and it just goes on and on. But the truth is, your life is going on right now, all around you. Marriage, family and children are a part of that life.

Plenty of us have had children younger than 27. My wife and I had ours when I was 23 and she was 22. Yes, your life will change. But children make a family complete.

CRAZY_CAT_WOMAN · May 16, 2015

Wolves said:
Recently I made a random comment about babies to a work colleague who responded with "You're so young though, you have years ahead of you before you will start trying to a baby!"

I've also had people tell me that I am very young to be married.

And it seems that increasingly it is a very common opinion that 27, my age, is way too young to be married or have a baby. (This seems to be the dominant opinion where I live anyway). My husband is 26, a year younger than me, and people often think he is also too young.

It really upsets me because I love my husband, who I have been with for 8 years and married for 1.5, and because lately I've been thinking a lot about maybe starting a family as it's something I really want and feel like bringing another soul into this world to love and nurture is the next step in our relationship. I definitely feel ready, we are very emotionally and financially stable. But then people tell me that we are too young and it makes me second guess myself.

How can I not care what other people think? Why do they feel 27 is too young to be married and/or to have a baby? Is there any validity to this widespread societal opinion and maybe should I reconsider my motives at this age? Would I regret having a child at this age?

It's kind-of a downer when people judge you based on your age

Some people feel this is to young, that has to do with their needs. Your needs are different. Do what you feel is right. These same people will think your baby is adorable. Unless you completely have an ugly baby, Then they will just lie, and say your baby is adorable. I think many people are having babies later, so that belief system is in their mind. It has nothing to do with your life. Just think if you don't have a kid, because how your friends made you feel, and how that will affect you later on.

homeofmew · May 28, 2015

It's not a lot of people kids before they are in their late 20s even 21.
Whoever is saying this to you is dumb, as long as you are stable and have a good husband all is good.

amber.gilly · Jun 30, 2015

I'm 23 and am getting married soon and were talking about starting a family. People will just always think they know what's best. If you and your husband are ready, go for it.

Dave-W · Jul 1, 2015

My wife was 28 when we had our 4th/last child. I don't think she would have wanted to have any at an older age than that.

joshua 1 9 · Sep 10, 2015

Wolves said:
And it seems that increasingly it is a very common opinion that 27, my age, is way too young to be married or have a baby.

My wife was 35 when she had her baby and that is considered to be high risk so they run a lot more tests when your over 35. Considering this then I would think people would want to have a baby before they are that age. I had one at 25 and one at 45. It is a lot easier when your younger. I use to go out on the water slides and roller skating with my first. None of that I would consider doing with my second child. As you get older we tend to do more festivals and country fairs to get out and do something on a nice day with the family.

People live longer so we have the luxury of having kids later in life. My grandfather died when he was in his 50's. Now they are able to keep people alive longer.

SinnerInTheHands · Sep 10, 2015

My mother had me at 19 . . . though I'm a bastard and was given up for adoption. My parents later got married, though, and had four other children.

sunshineforJesus · Sep 10, 2015

I don't think 27 is too young.My mom was married at age 18 and I was born when she was about 23.

pursuetruth · Oct 25, 2015

I think that considering your marital and financial stability you and your husband are the perfect age to have children.
Here's what I think you need to work on, though, and believe me it is a lifelong endeavor- don't get caught up in the opinions of others. You know who you are, you know what you want, and you are not asking anyone for anything. God bless you as you live YOUR life.

Bluecheese · Jan 1, 2016

I was 19 when I married and had my first birth child at 20, and two more by the time I was 26. We went on to adopt two more with special educational needs.

Sabertooth · Jan 4, 2016

My wife was pregnant with our third at 27 and pregnant with our fourth when I turned 27. And my dad was 27 when I was born; mom was almost 25.

Why is 27 too young to have a baby?

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