Does Matt 5:32 Mean I Can't Marry A Divorcee?

[William67]

I was actually thinking about a deeper theological question from what you wrote.

What if no one cheated but the couple got divorced/separated for other reasons. And then after the "human divorce" the man went out and sleep with another woman (before or after marriage)? Is this adultery and sexual immorality against his ex-wife?

If God did not consider the "human divorce" valid, does this mean the man has now (after the "human divorce") committed adultery against his ex-wife? And so now this "human divorce" got upgraded into "Godly divorce" and so now she is free to remarry?

If the answer to this is yes, that means the ex-wife must wait until her ex-husband sleep with another woman. And once the ex-husband has slept with another woman, he immediately committed adultery and sexual immortality. And now she is free to marry anyone she wants.

Another example is that she has to wait until her ex-husband is dead. Once he dies, the ex-wife is now a widow and can marry whoever she wants.

And what if after the "human divorce", the ex-husband watched some erotic videos? Does this count as sexual immortality and hence ground for a "Godly divorce"?

Hope this make sense.

A divorce for anything other than sexual immortality is not a divorce in the eyes of God. So, no matter the reason for a "human divorce", you are still married. Any sexual contact outside of marriage still constitutes adultery.

 

[CCHIPSS]

A divorce for anything other than sexual immortality is not a divorce in the eyes of God. So, no matter the reason for a "human divorce", you are still married. Any sexual contact outside of marriage still constitutes adultery.

Sorry but I don't think you understood what I said.

I am saying that the ex-husband has now committed sexual immortality. He did this by sleeping with another woman, after his "human divorce" with his ex-wife. (Instead of cheating on his wife during marriage, he has now cheated on his wife after their "human divorce".)

So is this a divorce now in God's eyes? (e.g. a "Godly divorce")

 

[keith99]

If you still consider yourself bound by the law given to the Jews than don't marry her. But if so shame on you for ever dating her.

If you believe your God forgives then act liked it.

 

[Sophrosyne]

First off when one reads ANY part of the Bible one needs to first ascertain the intended audience to whom what is said is being addressed. Secondly one must separate the Bible into groups of people and covenants also. There are two major covenants and other covenants the two big ones are the Old Covenant and the New Covenant. In the Old Covenant only Jews were legal participants of it and bound to its rules and laws, while in the New Covenant the only requirement to participate in it was to believe In Jesus (faith). Prior to the Cross the Old Covenant was the only one available to be practiced and legally Jesus had to abide by it which included his teachings. Jesus himself said he was only sent to the Jews (Israel) so unless one can mesh what he said together with the authors of the New Testament after the work of the cross was finished you have to by default conclude things said were to Jews and for Jews. When Jesus was talking about Divorce he was addressing himself to Jews under the Mosaic Law who were bound to the 10 commandments which included adultery as defined by them.
Christians are not bound by the 10 but rather by two commandments for the most part Love your neighbor (others) and Love God. In a sense we can marry and divorce at will if needed by EACH instance must be because of our desire for God and loving others NOT because of selfishness and foolishness.
I contend this about divorce, if one is divorcing one must consider if staying in the divorce causes MORE sin than divorcing and when one considers marrying someone who is a divorcee one must also use this as a gauge for starters did they divorce for reasons that are honoring God and loving others? If not then chances are you can see this person isn't interested in a relationship with a Christian who puts God ahead of their own desires.

I also contend this: Once someone divorces it becomes EASIER for them to divorce AGAIN and some marry and divorce for profit to them a marriage isn't a relationship but a for-profit scheme in the end and they are just holding out for an excuse to cash in the payoff (divorce).
Would I marry a divorcee, I would have to think a lot harder about doing so than someone who hasn't married and divorced. One could contend as believers (the body of Christ) we are married to Jesus already and if you abandon him for any reason it is akin to a divorce which is WORSE in ways than a real divorce.

 

[Sketcher]

In 1 Corinthians 7:12-15 it started that if the non-believing husband was "willing to live with" a Christian wife, she must not divorce her. However if the non-believing husband chooses to leave, let it be so.

So what does "willing to live with" mean?

If a non-believing husband beats his Christian wife every single day, is he really "willing to live with" her?

I will argue that a non-believing husband is treating his Christian wife better by "choosing to leave" than "staying but beating his wife everyday".

That's permission to part in peace, but not to marry someone else.

 

[William67]

Sorry but I don't think you understood what I said.

I am saying that the ex-husband has now committed sexual immortality. He did this by sleeping with another woman, after his "human divorce" with his ex-wife. (Instead of cheating on his wife during marriage, he has now cheated on his wife after their "human divorce".)

So is this a divorce now in God's eyes? (e.g. a "Godly divorce")

Depends upon who left the marriage. If the wife leaves and divorces the husband, and he then has carnal relations with another woman, he has committed adultery, but his former wife has caused him to do so. Same for if the husband leaves and the wife has carnal relations with another man.

The Bible states that if a married couple separate without the cause of adultery, they both are to remain unmarried and chaste, or reconcile. If the man then has carnal relations with another woman, it is no different than if he were still living with his wife. He has committed adultery. The only way I can see a "way out" for the wife is if she then seeks a religious divorce/annulment for the cause of adultery, even if they are already divorced under the laws of man.

 

[SnowyMacie]

Divorce is the one the thing in which the church is simultaneously both too hard and too loose.

 

[Sophrosyne]

Divorce is the one the thing in which the church is simultaneously both too hard and too loose.

The problem with divorce is that some think it is a sin to divorce as far as a piece of paper is concerned but to be totally honest if one or the other of a couple is already living just like they ARE divorced then getting one is no more sin than they are already in. I've seen couples that hate each other and cause each other misery that won't divorce when in effect they are sinning against each other WORSE than a divorce would be. I don't say take divorce lightly but a sinful marriage is sometimes a LOT worse than a divorce where the only sin IS the divorce itself.

 

[SnowyMacie]

The problem with divorce is that some think it is a sin to divorce as far as a piece of paper is concerned but to be totally honest if one or the other of a couple is already living just like they ARE divorced then getting one is no more sin than they are already in. I've seen couples that hate each other and cause each other misery that won't divorce when in effect they are sinning against each other WORSE than a divorce would be. I don't say take divorce lightly but a sinful marriage is sometimes a LOT worse than a divorce where the only sin IS the divorce itself.

What I meant by loose is how some churches don't really seem to encourage couples to truly fight to work on their marriage.

 

[Sophrosyne]

What I meant by loose is how some churches don't really seem to encourage couples to truly fight to work on their marriage.

I agree, and the opposite is also true churches forcing people to stay in a marriage of sin just because there isn't adultery to justify ending it they turn a blind eye to spouses getting beat up and verbally abused by a spouse that in reality has nothing of Christ to them.

 

[SnowyMacie]

I agree, and the opposite is also true churches forcing people to stay in a marriage of sin just because there isn't adultery to justify ending it they turn a blind eye to spouses getting beat up and verbally abused by a spouse that in reality has nothing of Christ to them.

Right, and then also turning around and treating the divorcees like second class citizens after they get divorced.

 

[Sophrosyne]

Right, and then also turning around and treating the divorcees like second class citizens after they get divorced.

I think some divorcees are deserving of such treatment at times because they essentially mock God when they don't get their way they just get a divorce and look for someone else and then again divorce... and again. That is a reason I'm would be less interested in a divorcee because when it comes to divorce there is often selfish lies involved and until you get the truth of the matter instead of excuses the lies will come right back and haunt you. I had a chance once with a woman who was in the process of getting a divorce but she wouldn't wait till she was divorced so I gave up and a month later she was divorced then remarried and then months after.. divorced again. I could have been that second divorce myself possibly even stuck with child support to pay even. Divorce causes grief with children but couples who constantly fight can cause MORE grief and damage to children than getting a divorce can in the end.

 

[Grafted In]

Yes

 

[blackribbon]

I used to believe the legalistic view that many of you hold. However, there isn't any sin that can't be washed clean by Jesus' blood...including the sin of divorce or adultery. If a person who has divorced never asks for forgiveness of the sins that led to the failure of his/her marriage, then I'd be concerned because they are still "living in sin" no different than if they were stealing from their employer. The sin really is a lack of repentance. However, if a person, no matter what the sin (including failed marriage) presents themselves before God and asks forgiveness for their sins, whatever, they are, I believe that the blood of Jesus' death covers those sins making them white as snow and pure again.

1 John 1:9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.

So by this, I believe that even a person who has gone through a divorce can be purified and her sin of divorce covered. She is no longer a "divorcee" in God's eye but rather a beautiful Child of God, sanctified and purified by the blood Jesus shed on the cross. She is no longer buried by the sins of her past...and God does not hang a big "A" around her neck.

Either we believe this or else we have to assume that some sins are not forgivable and that we can all have sins that we never can be forgiven for. What other sins can we never recover from? What other sins are so big that God won't forgive? Now, if a person continues the sin of repeated divorces...marrying without ever embracing the concept of the sanctity that God intends for marriage, then I would say that she never really repented. But if a person made a bad decision or allowed a marriage to die for all the wrong reasons and gets divorced...then repents before Jesus, I'd like to suggest that she is no longer at risk of being an adulteress because Jesus' blood has purified her past and sins.

Luke 7:36-50 https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Luke+7:36-50&version=NIV

And if God would sanctify Rahab the Prostitute enough to give her a husband and actually include her in the lineage of Jesus Christ, I would put forth that God can sanctify someone who had a failed marriage if they truly are serving him.

Purification is just that .... something is made pure again. No longer tainted by anything.

And I would like to put forward that I kind of believe that anyone who feels like their sins are "forgivable" and yet doesn't believe that someone else's sins are or are of a greater degree of sinfulness, is actually being arrogant. Sin is sin...it doesn't come in different degrees and EVERY sin separates us from God. We must always seek forgiveness because Jesus' death didn't make us sinless but rather covered our sins to those that follow him. What sin beyond the sin of rejecting Jesus as the path to salvation is a sin that is can not be covered by Jesus' blood or love?

I am not saying that you have to marry divorced women (or men) but I don't believe that it is wrong to if they are truly are faithful and Jesus followers and have repented before God (to be determine by the fruit of their life). If you really do believe that these women forever remain "tainted" and unlovable, I believe that you look in the mirror and see how sanctified you really are because I suggest that you may actually find a plank in your eyes. (Matt 7:3-5)

Luke 11:46 Jesus replied, “And you experts in the law, woe to you, because you load people down with burdens they can hardly carry, and you yourselves will not lift one finger to help them.

 

[Grafted In]

We are dealing with someone wanting advice about a future decision, not a past offense. When someone reaches out to the body of Christ for advice as to how to deal with a future decision it is our duty to God to speak the truth
Past mistakes are in fact forgiven, but to give advice that we know will cause that person to sin is sin. And giving that same person sound biblical advice is not being judgemental.

 

[blackribbon]

We are dealing with someone wanting advice about a future decision, not a past offense. When someone reaches out to the body of Christ for advice as to how to deal with a future decision it is our duty to God to speak the truth
Past mistakes are in fact forgiven, but to give advice that we know will cause that person to sin is sin. And giving that same person sound biblical advice is not being judgemental.

I simply propose that IF this woman has genuinely repented before Christ, she is no longer at risk of being an adulteress because her sin has been covered by the blood of Christ. She has been purified.

 

[Grafted In]

I simply propose that IF this woman has genuinely repented before Christ, she is no longer at risk of being an adulteress because her sin has been covered by the blood of Christ. She has been purified.

I could not disagree more that repenting for a past sin gives one the freedom to commit a future sin. In my opinion your statement is not at all Scriptural.

 

[blackribbon]

I could not disagree more that repenting for a past sin gives one the freedom to commit a future sin. In my opinion your statement is not at all Scriptural.

If the sin is covered and purified, then it no longer exists as a sin. If it was, then we all are at risk of never being able to enter in God's presence because God cannot exist in the presence of sin. I say that it is very Biblical that the sin is "washed away".

1 John 1:7 But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin.

The future sin would be a future divorce, not a marriage.

 

[Grafted In]

The Orthodox would say no, however, marrying a divorcee is an impediment to ordination in our church (which might be waived by the bishop in unusual corcumstances).

I fail to see the notion that a bishop, or anyone other than Christ has the authority to overrule Scriptural Truth. And He would not do so....ever.

 

[football5680]

Marrying her would be adultery because they are still married in God's eyes so this would be forbidden.