"You're worthless and you'll never amount to anything!"

[radhead]

That is the basic message of evangelical Christianity today it seems. Do you ever think about what kind of effect that can have on a person?

I grew up as a late bloomer. I never believed in myself as a child. I didn't have to be told this kind of message. But I loved God and I loved Jesus, as well as I knew how to at the time.

But then as a young teenager I heard that there really wasn't much to look forward to if you weren't saved. And I had doubts to my salvation. I had always thought that it was enough to love God and love Jesus.

Then, as a young adult I began going to church to try to find community. I had such low self esteem. But the message I heard was constantly, You're worthless. The best you could give is like filthy rags. You'll never amount to anything. I was surrounded at church by people who grew up differently. They were probably more cocky and sure of themselves as children. They did believe in themselves. They probably had lots of confidence growing up. So this negative message might have helped to bring balance and humility into their lives. But confidence was something I had never had.

Now (looking back) I found myself as a young adult surrounded by these people telling me that I needed to become even smaller inside myself, in order for God to fill in the rest.

Do you really think this is a good message for everyone?

 

[2PhiloVoid]

That is the basic message of evangelical Christianity today it seems. Do you ever think about what kind of effect that can have on a person?

I grew up as a late bloomer. I never believed in myself as a child. I didn't have to be told this kind of message. But I loved God and I loved Jesus, as well as I knew how to at the time.

But then as a young teenager I heard that there really wasn't much to look forward to if you weren't saved. And I had doubts to my salvation. I had always thought that it was enough to love God and love Jesus.

Then, as a young adult I began going to church to try to find community. I had such low self esteem. But the message I heard was constantly, You're worthless. The best you could give is like filthy rags. You'll never amount to anything. I was surrounded at church by people who grew up differently. They were probably more cocky and sure of themselves as children. They did believe in themselves. They probably had lots of confidence growing up. So this negative message might have helped to bring balance and humility into their lives. But confidence was something I had never had.

Now (looking back) I found myself as a young adult surrounded by these people telling me that I needed to become even smaller inside myself, in order for God to fill in the rest.

Do you really think this is a good message for everyone?

Wow. You went to a really sucky church. I don't know what else to say, Rad.

 

[brinny]

That is the basic message of evangelical Christianity today it seems. Do you ever think about what kind of effect that can have on a person?

I grew up as a late bloomer. I never believed in myself as a child. I didn't have to be told this kind of message. But I loved God and I loved Jesus, as well as I knew how to at the time.

But then as a young teenager I heard that there really wasn't much to look forward to if you weren't saved. And I had doubts to my salvation. I had always thought that it was enough to love God and love Jesus.

Then, as a young adult I began going to church to try to find community. I had such low self esteem. But the message I heard was constantly, You're worthless. The best you could give is like filthy rags. You'll never amount to anything. I was surrounded at church by people who grew up differently. They were probably more cocky and sure of themselves as children. They did believe in themselves. They probably had lots of confidence growing up. So this negative message might have helped to bring balance and humility into their lives. But confidence was something I had never had.

Now (looking back) I found myself as a young adult surrounded by these people telling me that I needed to become even smaller inside myself, in order for God to fill in the rest.

Do you really think this is a good message for everyone?

I'm sorry (((hug)))

 

[Soyeong]

Wow. You went to a really sucky church. I don't know what else to say, Rad.

No kidding.

That is the basic message of evangelical Christianity today it seems. Do you ever think about what kind of effect that can have on a person?

I grew up as a late bloomer. I never believed in myself as a child. I didn't have to be told this kind of message. But I loved God and I loved Jesus, as well as I knew how to at the time.

But then as a young teenager I heard that there really wasn't much to look forward to if you weren't saved. And I had doubts to my salvation. I had always thought that it was enough to love God and love Jesus.

Then, as a young adult I began going to church to try to find community. I had such low self esteem. But the message I heard was constantly, You're worthless. The best you could give is like filthy rags. You'll never amount to anything. I was surrounded at church by people who grew up differently. They were probably more cocky and sure of themselves as children. They did believe in themselves. They probably had lots of confidence growing up. So this negative message might have helped to bring balance and humility into their lives. But confidence was something I had never had.

Now (looking back) I found myself as a young adult surrounded by these people telling me that I needed to become even smaller inside myself, in order for God to fill in the rest.

Do you really think this is a good message for everyone?

God does command us to do good works and view them with disdain when we seek to obey Him, but rather the righteous deeds of the saints are like fine white linen (Revelation 19:8). We have so much value to God that Christ died for us, so the cross removes our sin to expose our value and our created purpose. This is a better example of what should be taught in churches:

 

[Pilgrim]

That is the basic message of evangelical Christianity today it seems. Do you ever think about what kind of effect that can have on a person?

I grew up as a late bloomer. I never believed in myself as a child. I didn't have to be told this kind of message. But I loved God and I loved Jesus, as well as I knew how to at the time.

But then as a young teenager I heard that there really wasn't much to look forward to if you weren't saved. And I had doubts to my salvation. I had always thought that it was enough to love God and love Jesus.

Then, as a young adult I began going to church to try to find community. I had such low self esteem. But the message I heard was constantly, You're worthless. The best you could give is like filthy rags. You'll never amount to anything. I was surrounded at church by people who grew up differently. They were probably more cocky and sure of themselves as children. They did believe in themselves. They probably had lots of confidence growing up. So this negative message might have helped to bring balance and humility into their lives. But confidence was something I had never had.

Now (looking back) I found myself as a young adult surrounded by these people telling me that I needed to become even smaller inside myself, in order for God to fill in the rest.

Do you really think this is a good message for everyone?

Where there is no hope with man, there is always hope with God.

 

[radhead]

My point is that it's not just certain churches. It's a core part of the Christian doctrine. How are people with already low self-esteem supposed to find any kind of hope in these ideas?

 

[woobadooba]

I had always thought that it was enough to love God and love Jesus.

This is true.

By the way, you are not worthless. How could you be? Jesus gave His life for you.

The church you went to was likely caught up in legalism. Not all Christians are like that.

Do you still believe in Jesus?

 

[Soyeong]

My point is that it's not just certain churches. It's a core part of the Christian doctrine. How are people with already low self-esteem supposed to find any kind of hope in these ideas?

My point is that is a rather bad misunderstanding of Christian doctrine.

 

[radhead]

This is true.

By the way, you are not worthless. How could you be? Jesus gave His life for you.

The church you went to was likely caught up in legalism. Not all Christians are like that.

Do you still believe in Jesus?

Not in the way you are asking me. I don't believe in magic or supernatural anymore. But I don't think lesser of anyone who believes. It's just impossible for me to believe in magic, or that God would contradict his own physical laws just for the events in religious tales.

 

[2PhiloVoid]

My point is that it's not just certain churches. It's a core part of the Christian doctrine. How are people with already low self-esteem supposed to find any kind of hope in these ideas?

I had low self esteem when I was a teenager, but when I found Christ, I sensed that Jesus represented the compassion, insight and care that my fragile self-worth needed. So, when I read something like, "Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest," then I didn't mind so much that He also challenged with with “If anyone desires to come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow Me."

I also found that my consideration of both of the quotes I cited above, even when placed together, express something quite different to me than various messages I've occasionally heard in some churches, telling me to the effect that ... I'm a worthless sinner--period--and that I'm lucky that God doesn't strike me down with a lightning-bolt right where I stand right now. So, for me, there is a difference.

But that was my response as a teenager. That is my response now too, but I also realize that we're all going to respond to Jesus differently.

Peace,
2PhiloVoid

 

[radhead]

...But that was my response as a teenager. That is my response now too, but I also realize that we're all going to respond to Jesus differently.

Peace,
2PhiloVoid

It sounds as if you have your own definition of "Jesus" if you say it that way. As if a child could never understand, and will always have a false image until he is old enough to hear the "good news". I've met people who were obviously broken shells of a prior human being after their encounters with various Christian churches. And these people are usually kind, meek and peaceful people.

Your definition of Jesus sounds like a lie.

Namaste,
Radhead

 

[mindlight]

That is the basic message of evangelical Christianity today it seems. Do you ever think about what kind of effect that can have on a person?

I grew up as a late bloomer. I never believed in myself as a child. I didn't have to be told this kind of message. But I loved God and I loved Jesus, as well as I knew how to at the time.

But then as a young teenager I heard that there really wasn't much to look forward to if you weren't saved. And I had doubts to my salvation. I had always thought that it was enough to love God and love Jesus.

Then, as a young adult I began going to church to try to find community. I had such low self esteem. But the message I heard was constantly, You're worthless. The best you could give is like filthy rags. You'll never amount to anything. I was surrounded at church by people who grew up differently. They were probably more cocky and sure of themselves as children. They did believe in themselves. They probably had lots of confidence growing up. So this negative message might have helped to bring balance and humility into their lives. But confidence was something I had never had.

Now (looking back) I found myself as a young adult surrounded by these people telling me that I needed to become even smaller inside myself, in order for God to fill in the rest.

Do you really think this is a good message for everyone?

The bible tells me that I have great dignity.

1) I am made in the image of God. I have intrinsic qualities like reason , creativity, conscience etc that echo the Divine. That makes me feel special.

2) God thought I was important enough to send Jesus to save me and die a horrible death on the cross for me. That makes me feel loved.

3) When I was saved God sent His Spirit to dwell inside me. I am a fitting dwelling for the Divine ( well at least I know he is working on a few home improvements inside me) . That gives me a hope that cannot be crushed by external events.

4) I am promised an eternal future with God Almighty. It does not get better than that. I am really going places!

 

[Uber Genius]

That is the basic message of evangelical Christianity today it seems. Do you ever think about what kind of effect that can have on a person?

Strawman

No Evangelical Christian would represent the message of God's grace and acceptance coupled with his enormous sacrifice to bring us back into a relationship we had lost as "Your worthless and will never amount to anything."

That is the message of a naturalism!!!!!

In contrast to naturalism God says,

God loves all the world and is willing to send his son to die to make a way for those who want to come to him.

Now (looking back) I found myself as a young adult surrounded by these people telling me that I needed to become even smaller inside myself, in order for God to fill in the rest.

Again, doubtful. Recognizing our God's requirement for relationship is humbling but only if you want to be God. If you want to recognize that he is a loving father waiting patiently for the prodigal son to return then you will see you have infinite worth in God's eyes.

Again, you are conflating atheism with Evangelical Christianity.

 

[radhead]

This is still the primary message that I see evangelical Christian parents teaching their children. Or of Christians telling other people in general. I'm glad that my parents were not that hardcore religious. I would probably have never made it to this point in my life if I had grown in up a more churchy environment.

 

[Silmarien]

Yes, this concern is of particular interest to me, since I struggle with similar issues. I take a very existential approach to the concept of sin, and I do think that self-hatred, despair, and related problems can very much be symptoms of spiritual illness. So it really troubles me that these more damaging manifestations are so often overlooked entirely amongst conservative Protestants. I ran across these comments on the problem a while ago and find them quite apt.

The problem is not Christianity. The problem is a specifically Calvinist understanding of human nature and sin that completely overlooks how complicated the problem really is.

 

[ViaCrucis]

My point is that it's not just certain churches. It's a core part of the Christian doctrine. How are people with already low self-esteem supposed to find any kind of hope in these ideas?

No, the core of Christian doctrine is not "you're worthless and you'll never amount to anything". The core of Christian doctrine is the Incarnation.

-CryptoLutheran