Your testimony

[GreenMunchkin]

I really, really love reading/hearing peoples' testimonies. They're always so encouraging, and each person has a completely different story. It's amazing

So, if you feel comfortable telling the story, how did you come to Christ? It can be as detailed or as brief as you want

 

[MrJim]

Mine's a long tale, if yer interesting you can go all the way back to pages 15 & 16 in my blog.

Basically I was in USMC, got out, got involved in selling drugs, ran away from it to a Christian guy I met in USMC, got saved, married his sister, and lived happily ever after. Was Church of God (Winebrenner), Mennonite, Evangelical Free, Reformed Bapist, and now American Baptist...

 

[Lisa0315]

Okay, I will do this...

When I was a little girl, my Mom had to find a new babysitter for us. We had no father so it was just my two brothers, my Mom, and me. So, the babysitter that we had since we were babies did not live in the right school district.

Anyway, so one day this lady decided that she didn't want to babysit anymore, but she told my Mom that the next door lady wanted to. Turns out she was a Baptist Preacher's wife.

Now, back in the early 1970's, if you were an unwed mother like my Mom, there was a whole lot of shame attached to that in the South. So, although my Mom had been raised in church, she was very uncomfortable around Baptist preachers. Still, she was desperate, so we started staying there. She has told me later on that she used to hurry and run in to pick us up because the preacher or his wife would alway invite her to church. They were wonderful to us and we loved it there so my Mom was kind of caught between having a good safe place for us and trying to dodge those invitations.

Now, I was a very, very sick child. I had been in and out of the hospital and I got sick at the drop of a hat. I had asthma really bad and I would get pneumonia easily. Well, one day, I got sick at Bill and June's (The Preacher and his wife), and they took me to the doctor, picked up my medicine and let my mother know what they had done. Back then, people would do things like this for other people's kids just because it needed to be done. My Mom was very proud and independent, but also very poor. Going to the doctor and medicine meant working another job or borrowing money from her parents and paying it back. So, she told Bill and June that she could not pay the doctor bill, the medicine and the babysitting money all in the same week. She asked if she could pay an extra $5.00 per week. Bill told her that he would not accept any money from her, but he would consider the bill paid if only she would come to church one time.

This one visit ended up with my Mom getting saved. Then, it ended up with my grandmother getting right. Finally, my uncle got saved. My brothers...the whole family.

Well, I was only around four years old at the time but I loved going to church. After we had been going for awhile, maybe a year later, one day, my brother and I were playing "Church". My brother was the preacher and I stood up to give my "testimony". I started to say, "Well, I got saved..." My mean old brother didn't let me finish. He said, "You're not saved!" "Am too!" "Are not!" "Am too!" "Are not!"

I ran crying to my mother and asked her if I was saved. She said, and I remember this like it was yesterday, "Well, honey you don't have to worry about that right now". It hit me like a ton of bricks. I knew what being saved was, but I realized that I wasn't. I know I was only five years old at the time, but I can remember it very, very well.

The very next Sunday, it was a beautiful April morning. Our church did not have air conditioning. All the windows were open, and the back doors of the church were open as well. Preacher Bill gave the altar call, and I went down. I remember the sun streaming in from every window and I walked to the altar with a huge smile on my face. I wish I could explain the joy I felt or how I can remember it exactly.

Preacher Bill prayed with me and he must have asked me a hundred times if I understood. I did! I got saved that day!

Now, there is so much to this story, but I need you to understand how special Bill and June were to our family. My uncle ended up marrying one of their daughters and he was called to preach as well. Bill was like the father that I had never known.

After many years, perhaps, when I was around 10 or 11, Preacher Bill was called to another church. I had seen a great revival during those years. I loved God. I loved church. I love reading the Bible. I loved singing in the choir. However, some very nasty things began to happen in our church, and I eventually saw the wrath of God descend on this church as well. I saw our membership go from 20 to over 100. People were praising God and working for the Lord. There was such love there, but when Bill left, things changed. Naturally, this is my memory as a child, but all I know is suddenly, I wasn't allowed to sit with my best friend anymore. People were arguing. A man called my mother a [wash my mouth][wash my mouth][wash my mouth][wash my mouth][wash my mouth] in the church parking lot. It was horrible, and I will tell you something...Children began to die.

It affected me deeply. My lifelong battle with depression began then. Something very precious was stolen from me and I wasn't old enough to fight it. I had loved God and I had looked up to these people and I saw something so ugly and so demonic that it turned me away from God and from church.

By the time I was 13, I refused to go to church anymore. I didn't believe anymore. I still believed in God, but I didn't believe in organized religion. I set out on a path of self-destruction. This went on for 23 years.

As an adult, there was still a part of me that longed for God. There was not a single day that went by that getting right with God didn't cross my mind. However, I had become so bitter and so angry against God and the church, there just didn't seem to be any way back. I literally shook my fist at God and said, "I never stood a chance!" I thought all Christians were fake. I was very, very well versed in Scripture and I used my knowledge to attack Christians. I lived for it. There is not a single atheist here who could compete with me for the abuse and the venom that I spewed out against Christians.

I even once said to my mother, "I know the God of the OT, the wrathful one. I know the Holy Spirit. I remember that. I can't see Jesus on the cross anymore." My mother was horrified by that and I thought her horror was actually funny.

All this time, my aunt, the daughter of Bill and June, I would only see them about once a year. Every time I saw her, she would simply say, "I love you". I had grown so bitter that I thought it was very, very odd. I thought, "You do not even know me!" "That was a long time ago. Why are you telling me that?" I never said anything to her and it would disturb me for days and days after.

Finally, just 3 years ago this past March, I went to see Passion of the Christ. I was supposed to go with my daughter but she could not get off work. So, since I was already there, I decided to go ahead and see the movie anyway. I bitterly thought to myself going in, "Oh yeah, I bet this is going to change my life". So, I went in. The place was crowded with many churchy people. Women with big hair, men in suits. I rolled my eyes and found a seat. After I had been sitting there for a couple of minutes, a lady sat down beside of me. She was the essence of everything I hated. Worse, she had on buckets of perfume which I am allergic to. (Remember the sick kid? Still suffer from respiratory illnesses but not as bad) I looked around trying to see if there was another place to move to. The lights went out, the movie began. I scooted as far to the left as I could to get away from the smell of the perfume.

If you have seen the movie, it starts out with Jesus in the Garden of Gesthmene. He is praying. Within moments of this scene, suddenly, I do not know what to call it except a vision, and I am not kidding when I say that. I did not see the movie. I did not smell the perfumed womena beside of me. What I saw instead was myself as God saw me. I saw all the times I had rejected Him. I saw all the times that I had mocked Him. I saw all the times that I had hurt other people. I don't know how long this lasted, but what brought me back to myself was the sound of someone crying loudly. I looked over at the woman beside of me and she was not crying. I realized that my face was soaking wet even the shirt I was wearing, even the tips of my hair were wet. The loud crying I had heard had been ME!!!

I continued watching the movie. I forced myself to stare head on even though I wanted to turn away from the very gruesome parts. I had said to my Mother that I could not see Christ on the cross. God heard me. I realize that this was a dramatization, but it brought it home to me in a very real way.

I left that theatre crying. Alot of people were so I guess I didn't look too strange. However, I continued to cry for two days. I used to be a very unemotional person and prided myself on being that way. That tough shell protected me. However, I cried for two straight days. I could not stop. I tried to reason it out. I tried to convince myself of anything except the truth. I even wondered if I had had a mini stroke or something.

Finally, two days later, I got on my knees. The thing that pushed me to the edge was that I remembered my aunt telling me she loved me, and in a moment of clarity, I knew that it had been Jesus telling me HE loved me through my aunt. I cannot tell you exactly what I prayed except I do remember saying something like, "Whatever, Whenever, However".

My life changed from that day forward. I cannot honestly tell you if I was saved at five years old, or if I was saved on March 15, 2004. However, I know I am saved today. I tell people that I became a Christian 3 years ago because I was not a Christ-follower until then.

My life has been turned upside down since then, but there has not been a single day that I regretted it.

Remember I told you how important Bill and June were to our family, right? I probably would have been an atheist except for that man because no matter how much I hated Christians, I knew that at least one Christian was real, and that was my pastor Bill.

Well, about two weeks after that March night on my knees, my son told me he wanted to get saved. He said that he had almost gone down to the altar but he was definitely going to go that night.

Well you can imagine how thrilled I was at that, but you know what? God knows how to take our joy and make it even better beyond any expectations.

For no reason that I know of, after not having seen him in over twenty years, my old dear pastor Bill showed up at our church that night. He had to drive almost two hours to get there, but he was there, and....are you ready for this?

It was Pastor Bill who led my son to Christ that night...

Lisa

 

[GratiaCorpusChristi]

Well, in typical Lutheran fashion, I can only tell one story. There is but one testimony we give that accounts for our salvation.

Two thousand years ago, the Son of God became incarnate of the Virgin Mary, was made man, suffered on our behalf under Pontius Pilate, was crucified, died, and burried. The third day he rose again, according to the Scripture and ascended into heaven, where he is seated at the right hand of God the Father Almighty. Then in my infancy, God baptized me through the pastors of his church and my parents, placed his holy seal of the forgiveness of sins upon me. How did I become a Christian? That's how.

 

[MrJim]

Well, in typical Lutheran fashion, I can only tell one story. There is but one testimony we give that accounts for our salvation.

Two thousand years ago, the Son of God became incarnate of the Virgin Mary, was made man, suffered on our behalf under Pontius Pilate, was crucified, died, and burried. The third day he rose again, according to the Scripture and ascended into heaven, where he is seated at the right hand of God the Father Almighty. Then in my infancy, God baptized me through the pastors of his church and my parents, placed his holy seal of the forgiveness of sins upon me. How did I become a Christian? That's how.

Never heard it quite presented that way...

 

[Kelly]

The short and sloppy version:

In my early years grew up in the faith of my mom and her family, Catholic. First Communion, taking a saint's name, etc. Going through the motions, pretty much. No personal connection with the Savior. Told during a confession that if I didn't go to church I'd go to Hell.

Parents divorced in first grade, my dad had me go to sunday school (cavalry/baptist hellfire and brimstone type learning). Got 'saved' each sunday out of fear of hell, still had no concept of what I was doing or through 'whom'.

High school and college life became agnostic/atheistic - mainly selfish. Focused solely on my personal fun and pleasure and seeking the opposite sex (to no avail, btw).

Met my future wife, who was also not saved, got married, had our first child - our daughter. Felt what Pascal called a 'God shaped hole" in my soul. Started listening to pastors on Christian AM Radio and reading a newsletter from an area church that came to our house. Found out my wife was secretly meeting with a Christian woman at her work and God was revealing Himself to her.

Became friends with a young Christian male at work(spicy mchaggis on this site). Was impressed with his devotion and passion at an age when all I wanted was debauchery and 'fun'. He witnessed to me through his lifestyle. That combined with our little girl, feeling it was wrong to raise her in a secular house without her experiencing something else, we went to church and in a few months I was baptised. That was about 4 years ago.

 

[Kelly]

Well, in typical Lutheran fashion, I can only tell one story. There is but one testimony we give that accounts for our salvation.

Two thousand years ago, the Son of God became incarnate of the Virgin Mary, was made man, suffered on our behalf under Pontius Pilate, was crucified, died, and burried. The third day he rose again, according to the Scripture and ascended into heaven, where he is seated at the right hand of God the Father Almighty. Then in my infancy, God baptized me through the pastors of his church and my parents, placed his holy seal of the forgiveness of sins upon me. How did I become a Christian? That's how.

That's beautiful and noble, but I am sure that there was a time in your life where the faith of your parents became something unique and your own. When you were not simply doing what your parents did, etc.

 

[DerSchweik]

I was raised a Methodist, went to Sunday school regularly, was confirmed, always believed in God as a child. But then I entered my teens, and living in an ultra-liberal college town began a terrible slide into all manner of sin - the usual and the not-so-usual (drugs, alcohol, sex of all kinds).

I ran into a number of "Jesus freaks" in the '60's - and that described them pretty well - freakish, wierd, turned me off totally. But I was always searching, always believing myself a Christian because of my upbringing, but never able to reconcile my lifestyle with my beliefs. When I sinned egregiously, I felt incredibly awful - for awhile. I entered the Navy and things just got worse. What once titillated me to sin wore off and I needed more; and the world I was in provided it. Each new "shock" elevated me to new levels of sinfulness.

There were periods where I would run into Christians of various faiths (Charismatic Catholics, Southern Baptists, independents) that I believe God put into my path. And for a brief time, I felt "home" again - kind of. I left the Navy and returned home to college - and sin just increased; more sex, more drugs, more alcohol. Despite numerous interactions with Christians in my life, I was missing something - I'd seen tongues, done all sorts of singing, clapping, "praising", heard sermons, heard testimonies, been to retreats; I can't tell you how many times I've "prayed Jesus into my heart" kneeling in front of some televangelist with a stirring presentation knowing I was living in sin but powerless to do anything about it. I once prayed thus coming down off peyote and mushrooms - and I know now He heard me because He kept on goading me towards His eventual destination for me.

I hit bottom when the girl I had been dating (not because I liked her as much as what I was able to get from her) asked to get together again - this was about a month after I'd broken up with her. So I did, thinking I had another opportunity to well, you know... After talking awhile, she dropped a bomb on me and told me she was pregnant. I wanted to die. But after a few minutes of silence, she added, "but I got an abortion." I felt resurrected, literally. Disgustingly, I said nothing, offered nothing. We went our separate ways but I went home that night realizing just how low I had sunk as a human, as a man. I didn't care about anyone but me - and certainly not about her or the baby she aborted because of me. That night I prayed the first real prayer of my life - and I prayed it for my life.

The next day, the next day - while walking between classes, a guy approached me and invited me to a Bible study. He was no "Jesus freak" of times past, rather he seemed a regular guy, so I said "yes." I met the other members of the study and started going regularly, and even began attending their church, which was oddly fun. I even bought my own Bible. What impressed me most was these people were "real" and not the usual freaks I was used to associating as Christians. They were deeply devoted to studying the Bible and to each other, and I realized what I had been missing in all my other encounters with Christians in the past was the Bible! Sure, Bibles were always around, but the focus always seemed to be on other things - singing, fellowship, prayer, "experiences." Not bad, per se, but definitely lacking.

The leader of the bible study I was attending took me aside one day to discuss personal things - my personal things. Ho boy... After awhile I realized I needed to get some stuff off my shoulders. We discussed my lifestyle, my sin, all my sin. He challenged me with God's Word and I was deeply convicted. I knew I needed to repent. But he also challenged me that I needed to become a Christian. That floored me because I definitely believed in God and I thought I was a Christian! I mean, raised in Sunday school, believing, etc. But I knew in my heart my lifestyle was utterly contrary to that of a Christian.

But, I still struggled with this. I was scared to death that admitting I was not a Christian would be denying my faith! In the Navy, I had even been baptized once - but it was a purely emotional response and utterly insincere on my part;after leaving the water, I remember still having but one thing to say - "Get-me-out-of-here!!!" I wanted to be as far from those people as I could. Not exactly a "Christian" response. So go figure - a young man living about as unfaithfully as a person could, worried about denying my faith. But I studied the Bible intensely, by myself and with others. One Sunday morning, in class, the teacher levelled me with a powerful study (not personally, but you know when God is speaking directly to you through others). At the end of the lesson, and I'll never forget his words, he said, "Now, I want you to know this is what I believe the Bible teaches. I could be wrong." Wait, a Christian teacher admitting he could be wrong??? Then he added, "but if you can show me where I have erred in this lesson, I will most gladly change the lesson..." That impressed me, his humility, his understanding of God's word, and his willingness to listen and even change if need be.

I went home that afternoon and prayed even more intensely to God, fearing for my faith, knowing what His word was telling me, asking Him to guide me and let me know what I was supposed to do.

That night, the man who would one day marry me and my wife, delivered in a powerful lesson God's answer directly to me. I knew what I had to do, as clearly as I ever knew anything in my life. I went forward after the sermon and gave my life to God, calmly but deliberately entering the water as that same man asked me the questions asked of all would-be Christians, "Do you believe in the Lord Jesus Christ, that He died for your sins and was resurrected on the third day?" I do. "Do you repent of your sins and are you ready to commit your life to Him?" I am. "Then I now baptize you in the name of Jesus, for the forgiveness of your sins, that you may receive the gift of His Holy Spirit..." I don't know anyone else's experience, but I know I died in that water and when I came up out of it, I was a new man, indwelt by God's own Spirit! And I rejoiced from the depths of my sould for the first time in my life!

I knew I had obeyed God for the first time in my life; I knew He had been faithfully leading me to this point in my life, and I knew He was finally rejoicing in my having finally believed.

Amen. And thanks be to God who by His grace and kindness leads us to repentance and salvation in His Son. Galatians 2:20

 

[£amb]

My testimony is just a matter of growing and maturing through time.

I grew up in a christian home. I did the whole go to church on Sunday mornings, nights and Wednesdays. Went to all the summer camps, choir practices, church activities. You could say it was my second home. I knew every square inch of my church. My middle sister sat with me on my bed when I was around 9 or 10 and she was the one that showed me what being a christian meant and what I needed to do. I went forward and was baptised. All throughout my life I went through hot and cold spells. I would be on fire for God and then I would put him to the side when things got rough. I married at 18 to the man I knew God had picked for me. He became a christian while dating me....I could say I had magical influence...

We moved to SC for several years and I never set foot in church. It wasn't anger or anything like that, it was just us being lazy and started enjoying our Sundays off. We then had a child and had a second one on the way when my husband's job moved us back to my hometown. I decided that the boys were going to church. It took many Sundays to accomplish this task, but through prayer and endurance, we...as a family...submitted our lives to God and have been spiritually maturing since.

I have realized that God had always been blessing me along the way even when I never fully relied on His strength and guidance. He has opened my eyes to his love and patience with me.

I can say that I was raised, baptised, married, and matured within my church...

 

[GratiaCorpusChristi]

That's beautiful and noble, but I am sure that there was a time in your life where the faith of your parents became something unique and your own. When you were not simply doing what your parents did, etc.

Nope, not really. Sure my faith has matured- my parents are evangelicals and I converted to Lutheranism four years ago- but I was saved long before that. I've been saved since the Methodist pastor poured water on my forehead and baptized me in the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit over twenty-three years ago.

 

[theVirginian]

It's 1973, I'm 18, I have just been arrested on felony charges, and am looking at 4-40 years in prison. I used my one phone call to ask my parents if they would get me out on bond. That was one tough phone call to make. They said they would bail me out on the condition that I moved back home. I agreed.

Three days later my parents told me that they were hosting a prayer meeting at the house that night and invited me to go. I wasn't in the mood for this nonsense, but I figured that I owed them for bailing me out, so I agreed to go. I intended to make this meeting the last one I attended.

As I walked down the stairs into the den where the meeting was being held, I noticed that the temperature in the stairway was warm and got warmer with each step down. Heat rises, doesn't it? It should have gotten cooler as I descended. When I got to the bottom step, it felt like it was 85 degrees. There was only one other person in the room. I thought that if it's this warm now with only one other person here, how hot is it going to get when everybody else shows up? I sat as far in the rear of the room as I could.

The rest of the people showed up, the meeting commenced and the singing part started. I wasn't in the mood, but I knew the words to some of the songs and joined in. Oddly, my mood started to pick up as I sang along. That's when things really started to happen. I started to sweat profusely from the heat and could feel the sweat rolling down my body, but when I patted my clothes to absorb the sweat, I was perfectly dry. I wasn't even perspiring. Then the heat started to absorb into my body. I thought, "OK. This is getting interesting." The heat soaked in to the point of surrounding my heart and then stopped. I could feel my heart in my chest. It felt like it weighed three pounds, was smooth, hard, and cold like a creek stone. It was an ugly sensation.

I was preoccupied with what was happenning to me and not listening when the teaching started. Then the speaker said the only thing I heard the whole time he was talking, "You CAN trust Jesus". I thought,"Yeah, right. If he exists." Then, just in case there was something to it, I mentally asked God if I was going to jail. I figured I might as well go for the brass ring. Immediately, a voice (angel) ten feet to my left said, "NO!...NO!!...NO!!!"

Ooops! I wasn't expecting an answer.

Each NO was louder than the one before. I could hear him clearly, but it wasn't with my physical sense of hearing. The rest of what happened took five seconds. I put two and two together and realized that God really does exist, He is still involved with Man, and He still operates with supernatural power. Then, before natural reasoning could interfere, the thought shot through my mind, "I'm yours!!!" Mighty charitable of me, eh? I dodge the bullet and God gets me in return. That heat then flashed through my heart. At this point I was officially born again. As soon as all that happened, another voice (demon), next to the angel shouted, "YOU FOOL!!!". Too bad, Punk. You lost.

Anyway, that's my story and I'm sticking to it.


Epilogue:
I pled no contest, was given ten years, all of it was suspended, with five years probation. My lawyer said I was the first case like mine in six months he'd seen to not get any jail time at all. After six months, my probation officer said the only reason I still had to report in was that, by law, I had to serve two and a half years of the time. Even so, I was cut loose after eighteen months.

 

[JoeWill]

My salvation testimony is on my CF homepage, so I'll give you a recent healing testimony instead.

A couple of months back, I got chicken pox which made me very ill. I never realised that chicken pox can be a serious condition in adulthood, and kills a lot of people. I tried to just go through it alone at home, but I was getting more and more unwell. Eventually I started to dehydrate and get delirious because I couldn't hold water down.

On my last day at home, my Pastor's wife woke up in the early hours of the morning, knowing that I needed prayer. So she started to pray for me. My Mom also suddenly knew that I needed to go to hospital. She came around at about 6:30 am to take me there.

In the hospital, one of the first things the staff did was to take an x-ray of my chest. This is because of the risk of catching pneumonia as a secondary infection. It is usually the pneumonia that can occur with chicken pox which takes people out.

Then a couple of days later, lying in a hosiptal bed, I felt a sort of fluid energy coming around my torso on both sides, and meeting at my sternum. It was like a protective shield being placed around my chest, to stop any further illness setting in.

Later, when I was about to be discharged from the hospital, the doctors came and said the x-ray had showed an anomilie in my chest, but I seemed alright.

Thank you God.

 

[GreenMunchkin]

I wasn't gonna write mine, but I seriously feel like giving up, so am hoping that going over my testimony will do some sort of good. Very long, and very boring, so I don't expect anyone to read it. I just want it "on paper" so I'll be reminded of how this *isn't* all a waste of time.

My parents were Christians til I was about 7, but I was never particularly involved in it all. Didn't get it. Was more interested in my toys. My mum then became a Buddhist and my dad became involved in masonry, just as his dad had been. I remember going to this guru dude's house with my mum every Thursday evening. He was a Japanese banker in the City of London, and he lived in an apartment, which was so minimalist I never knew where to sit. But in his front room, he had this gold, immensely ornate gold shrine thing and I remember it always used to freak me out.

There's a village in the South West of England called Boscastle - it was flooded beyond repair a couple of years ago, actually - and my parents took me there on holiday when I was about 8. Boscastle is renowned for being the last village in England that burned witches. It is - or was - aesthetically breath-taking. I remember it looking like a secret fairyland nestled bewteen these two huge hills, so it felt like a canopy. Through the centre, it had a babbling brook that flowed directly into the sea. There was a shop there dedicated to the witches, and one night we were standing outside it, the village was silent and deserted, and I don't know what happened, but I felt something reach inside my stomach and I heard someone tell me I was gonna die that night. I had a huge panic attack and just started saying Jesus' name to myself under my breath, which was peculiar because I didn't know Him.

After that, I forgot about Him again, and became just an appalling person. I was steeped in sin. I became a witch and developed a drug problem, was increasingly addicted to inappropriate contentography and actively went out of my way to blaspheme Jesus' Name. My former friends and I used to play a game to see who could out-do who in terms of blaspheming Him. I feel really sick thinking back to it, actually. I spent years and years stoned, going from man to man, claiming to be an atheist, but becoming increasingly drawn towards the LHP. I became a rune reader and tarot card reader and started practising psi-vampirism.

When I was 21, I took a massive, massive overdose. I wrote a note, lined all the pills up on my window-ledge and started swallowing them one by one. I emptied 3 and a half packets, so I probably took about 70 pills or something. I was taken to the hospital in an ambulance when I was found at 4.30pm, and I was allowed to go home at 2am, because the doctors did a blood test and found there wasn't a single trace of anything in my system. Looking back I know it was a genuine miracle, but at the time - and for years after - I was too out of it to see it that way. I think I put it down to its being "one of those things".

I got a job with an organisation called Victim Support about 5 years ago - it's a *very* secular charity that provides support for victims of crime, and I was hired as manager of the Youth Support for London - and there was a guy there who was a Methodist, and a former policeman. He was really abrasive in some ways, but I was still drawn to his sense of peace, and I found myself going to work early most mornings so I could ask him questions about "his god". I was always very scathing inwardly, but I did know that on one level I really wanted what he had.

I left that job when I was offered a promotion at another Victim Support in a different part of London, and on my first day I met a woman my age called Sue who was the woman who provided a large chunk of the government funding for my job, so we went for lunch, and within half an hour, I found out she was a Christian, also. We used to have lunch together as often as possible, and I would ask her a lot of questions, too and gradually the LHP started losing its appeal somehow. But I still had a drug problem. For the next few months, through my job, I kept meeting Christian after Christian. It was just astonishing, because this is a field that's about as secular as it gets.

I should add that my parents divorced when I was 17, and both parents re-married. My mum and her husband became Christians - they're currently studying to be missionaries for the street kids in Brazil - and I know they were praying for me to be saved, but I actively fought it. I'd known in my spirit that God was calling me for about 3 years prior to my going to Him. But I didn't want it. It's partly what made me play the blasphemy games, I think.

But, anyway, in February 2006, I was at the height of my drug problem. I was smoking about £100 worth of weed a week and was starting to take harder drugs, and one Wednesday, I was on holiday at home lolling about completely stoned, and I sobered up in an instant. Weirdest thing ever. And I haven't taken a drug since. The cravings are still there sometimes, dreadful on occasion, but the addiction was gone in an instant. Another genuine miracle, which I didn't acknowledge.

At the time, I was seeing a guy called Chris, and we broke up on April 6th 2006, and on April 7th, I stopped resisting God and got on my knees and begged Him to be the Lord of my life. That was late on a Friday night, and it was a long weekend, so all the shops were shut until the following Tuesday. I was sooo desperate to get my very first Bible. On the Monday night, I was so incredibly excited about going to a local Christian bookshop and paging through all their Bibles and finding the one that was printed and bound for me. Had never read the Bible, nor heard any of it, even as a child, as Sunday School was spent colouring in.

That night I had a dream I was being attacked by demons. It was just horrific. Have always had dreams where I'm being chased and am running in slow motion, like I can't move my legs. This was no different, and they were chasing me through these streets and I could hear them getting closer, and suddenly I stopped running and got on my knees and started praying. I didn't know where the words were coming from, but it made the demons scream like they were burning. When I woke up, I remembered some of the prayer and I wrote it down and called my mum and told her about the dream and when I read her what I'd been praying, she started crying because it turns out I'd been reciting Psalm 91.

For me that was the final thing that absolutely convinced me once and for all that Jesus was with me. God still teaches me stuff through my dreams, actually.

So that's it. Things have actually been much harder since becoming a Christian and I keep waiting for things to improve a little, but they don't. I'm not even sure whether to press "Submit Reply", because I don't want this anymore. I'm tired of the crap that comes with being a Christian. I know that makes me a bad person. I love Jesus, but I don't like Christianity. My latest offense is coming up with something unBiblical. Proof of my crapness, as if it was needed. So I'm left thinking there's little point.

 

[Tangeloper]

I hope you all don't mind if I copy and paste what I wrote in my introductory post here at CF. It does basically sum up my testimony although in the last month (since I wrote the following post) I have seen even more changes in my life and in the way I feel inside -- PRAISE THE LORD!!!! I am even more confident in my faith, and I am feeling closer and closer to our Lord with each passing day. I am confident in speaking about my faith now. I am praying a LOT more than I used to, and in a better way, IMO. Also, I have more patience with my children, and my husband as well. I also have a renewed hunger to read the bible... Just last night I found a scripture that pretty much sums up my entire experience with regards to my faith in God and Jesus as a child, and I don't ever remember hearing the passage before. It confirmed to me that I am again on the "right track" and I so look forward to feeling more of the love, peace and comfort that has quickly become a part of my life and soul.

Here is the post I made a month ago:

Another Newbie (in more ways than one!)

(POSTED on July 29th, 2007)
Hello Everyone!

First, a little about myself: I recently turned 35, and I have been happily married for almost 15 years -- we will celebrate our 15th anniversary on August 8th! I am the proud mother of 4 daughters. We are homeschoolers.

I am originally from the NW Suburbs of Chicago, lived in and around Denver, CO for about 8 years, and in December of 2005 moved back to the mid-west -- this time in North Central Wisconsin.

I mentioned in the title to this post that I am a newbie in more ways than one...

First, I am new to this site. I have to say that I'm very impressed so far by all I've seen. There are so many categories of discussion, and so many neat features as well -- What a site! I'm sure it will take me a while to figure it all out, and find my way around, but I have a feeling I will have a great time doing so.


Secondly, although I was raised and confirmed Catholic I fell away from the church (and God) as a young adult. About 7 years ago I started attending, and was made a member of a Lutheran Church where after our 4th child was born, all of my children were baptized (it was a wonderful day!).

After some very trying times I stopped going to church again, although I never quit praying and seeking God in my life.

My husband recently needed back surgery and due to my friends online at another forum (political) I was blessed through their prayers for me, and experienced an incredible thing on the day of my husband's surgery -- instead of being incredibly anxious as I usually am (I am quite the worrier), I was blessed with unbelievable peace and tranquility. I just KNEW God was with me and watching over my husband. I am happy to say that my husband's surgery was a great success and he will be returning to work early next month -- Praise the LORD!!!

In the last few weeks I have been reading Tim LaHaye's Left Behind series of books, and began to realize just how much I missed the closeness I felt with God and Jesus when I was younger.

I am glad to announce (publicly) that I have (just the other day) prayed earnestly to the Lord, asked him for forgiveness of all of my sins, accepted the Lord Jesus Christ as my savior, and have vowed to turn my life over to the Lord!

I cannot express how wonderful it is to again have that feeling of love and closeness with the Lord -- one which I know will continue to grow as I renew my dedication to Him, and grow in my knowledge of the Bible as well. I was so surprised that the feeling came back so quickly as well (and very grateful). Over the years I have prayed many times, for myself, and others as well. I have seen evidence of the Lord working in my life, but the feeling was not there. Praise the Lord, I have it back again!!!
**********************************************************************************
PS -- I should say that this is a very SHORT tale of what has happened in my life, but if I wrote down my complete testimony it would probably take a LONG time. I will try to do this soon, but tonight, I'm not feeling like delving into some of the harder parts of my life... You can also read more about how I viewed God and Jesus as a child on my homepage: http://foru.ms/~Tangeloper

 

[Greenthumb]

I wasn't gonna write mine, but I seriously feel like giving up, so am hoping that going over my testimony will do some sort of good. Very long, and very boring, so I don't expect anyone to read it. I just want it "on paper" so I'll be reminded of how this *isn't* all a waste of time.

My parents were Christians til I was about 7, but I was never particularly involved in it all. Didn't get it. Was more interested in my toys. My mum then became a Buddhist and my dad became involved in masonry, just as his dad had been. I remember going to this guru dude's house with my mum every Thursday evening. He was a Japanese banker in the City of London, and he lived in an apartment, which was so minimalist I never knew where to sit. But in his front room, he had this gold, immensely ornate gold shrine thing and I remember it always used to freak me out.

There's a village in the South West of England called Boscastle - it was flooded beyond repair a couple of years ago, actually - and my parents took me there on holiday when I was about 8. Boscastle is renowned for being the last village in England that burned witches. It is - or was - aesthetically breath-taking. I remember it looking like a secret fairyland nestled bewteen these two huge hills, so it felt like a canopy. Through the centre, it had a babbling brook that flowed directly into the sea. There was a shop there dedicated to the witches, and one night we were standing outside it, the village was silent and deserted, and I don't know what happened, but I felt something reach inside my stomach and I heard someone tell me I was gonna die that night. I had a huge panic attack and just started saying Jesus' name to myself under my breath, which was peculiar because I didn't know Him.

After that, I forgot about Him again, and became just an appalling person. I was steeped in sin. I became a witch and developed a drug problem, was increasingly addicted to inappropriate contentography and actively went out of my way to blaspheme Jesus' Name. My former friends and I used to play a game to see who could out-do who in terms of blaspheming Him. I feel really sick thinking back to it, actually. I spent years and years stoned, going from man to man, claiming to be an atheist, but becoming increasingly drawn towards the LHP. I became a rune reader and tarot card reader and started practising psi-vampirism.

When I was 21, I took a massive, massive overdose. I wrote a note, lined all the pills up on my window-ledge and started swallowing them one by one. I emptied 3 and a half packets, so I probably took about 70 pills or something. I was taken to the hospital in an ambulance when I was found at 4.30pm, and I was allowed to go home at 2am, because the doctors did a blood test and found there wasn't a single trace of anything in my system. Looking back I know it was a genuine miracle, but at the time - and for years after - I was too out of it to see it that way. I think I put it down to its being "one of those things".

I got a job with an organisation called Victim Support about 5 years ago - it's a *very* secular charity that provides support for victims of crime, and I was hired as manager of the Youth Support for London - and there was a guy there who was a Methodist, and a former policeman. He was really abrasive in some ways, but I was still drawn to his sense of peace, and I found myself going to work early most mornings so I could ask him questions about "his god". I was always very scathing inwardly, but I did know that on one level I really wanted what he had.

I left that job when I was offered a promotion at another Victim Support in a different part of London, and on my first day I met a woman my age called Sue who was the woman who provided a large chunk of the government funding for my job, so we went for lunch, and within half an hour, I found out she was a Christian, also. We used to have lunch together as often as possible, and I would ask her a lot of questions, too and gradually the LHP started losing its appeal somehow. But I still had a drug problem. For the next few months, through my job, I kept meeting Christian after Christian. It was just astonishing, because this is a field that's about as secular as it gets.

I should add that my parents divorced when I was 17, and both parents re-married. My mum and her husband became Christians - they're currently studying to be missionaries for the street kids in Brazil - and I know they were praying for me to be saved, but I actively fought it. I'd known in my spirit that God was calling me for about 3 years prior to my going to Him. But I didn't want it. It's partly what made me play the blasphemy games, I think.

But, anyway, in February 2006, I was at the height of my drug problem. I was smoking about £100 worth of weed a week and was starting to take harder drugs, and one Wednesday, I was on holiday at home lolling about completely stoned, and I sobered up in an instant. Weirdest thing ever. And I haven't taken a drug since. The cravings are still there sometimes, dreadful on occasion, but the addiction was gone in an instant. Another genuine miracle, which I didn't acknowledge.

At the time, I was seeing a guy called Chris, and we broke up on April 6th 2006, and on April 7th, I stopped resisting God and got on my knees and begged Him to be the Lord of my life. That was late on a Friday night, and it was a long weekend, so all the shops were shut until the following Tuesday. I was sooo desperate to get my very first Bible. On the Monday night, I was so incredibly excited about going to a local Christian bookshop and paging through all their Bibles and finding the one that was printed and bound for me. Had never read the Bible, nor heard any of it, even as a child, as Sunday School was spent colouring in.

That night I had a dream I was being attacked by demons. It was just horrific. Have always had dreams where I'm being chased and am running in slow motion, like I can't move my legs. This was no different, and they were chasing me through these streets and I could hear them getting closer, and suddenly I stopped running and got on my knees and started praying. I didn't know where the words were coming from, but it made the demons scream like they were burning. When I woke up, I remembered some of the prayer and I wrote it down and called my mum and told her about the dream and when I read her what I'd been praying, she started crying because it turns out I'd been reciting Psalm 91.

For me that was the final thing that absolutely convinced me once and for all that Jesus was with me. God still teaches me stuff through my dreams, actually.

So that's it. Things have actually been much harder since becoming a Christian and I keep waiting for things to improve a little, but they don't. I'm not even sure whether to press "Submit Reply", because I don't want this anymore. I'm tired of the crap that comes with being a Christian. I know that makes me a bad person. I love Jesus, but I don't like Christianity. My latest offense is coming up with something unBiblical. Proof of my crapness, as if it was needed. So I'm left thinking there's little point.

Aw...Green Anna. I'm sorry. You are not a bad person. Your opinion is not unbibiblical. You are not 'crapness'. And even though you don't feel it right now...there is a lot of point to it. The point is that you have a wonderful testimony. You have a love for others that is very rare, even among Christians. You are an inspiration to many here and especially to me. You are loved by me and many others...and most importantly you are loved by God. There is such awesome proof, if any is needed, in your testimony. He has been looking out for you since the get go. I'm glad you hit the "Submit Reply" button.

 

[~*Lady Trekki*~]

I wasn't gonna write mine, but I seriously feel like giving up, so am hoping that going over my testimony will do some sort of good. Very long, and very boring, so I don't expect anyone to read it. I just want it "on paper" so I'll be reminded of how this *isn't* all a waste of time.

My parents were Christians til I was about 7, but I was never particularly involved in it all. Didn't get it. Was more interested in my toys. My mum then became a Buddhist and my dad became involved in masonry, just as his dad had been. I remember going to this guru dude's house with my mum every Thursday evening. He was a Japanese banker in the City of London, and he lived in an apartment, which was so minimalist I never knew where to sit. But in his front room, he had this gold, immensely ornate gold shrine thing and I remember it always used to freak me out.

There's a village in the South West of England called Boscastle - it was flooded beyond repair a couple of years ago, actually - and my parents took me there on holiday when I was about 8. Boscastle is renowned for being the last village in England that burned witches. It is - or was - aesthetically breath-taking. I remember it looking like a secret fairyland nestled bewteen these two huge hills, so it felt like a canopy. Through the centre, it had a babbling brook that flowed directly into the sea. There was a shop there dedicated to the witches, and one night we were standing outside it, the village was silent and deserted, and I don't know what happened, but I felt something reach inside my stomach and I heard someone tell me I was gonna die that night. I had a huge panic attack and just started saying Jesus' name to myself under my breath, which was peculiar because I didn't know Him.

After that, I forgot about Him again, and became just an appalling person. I was steeped in sin. I became a witch and developed a drug problem, was increasingly addicted to inappropriate contentography and actively went out of my way to blaspheme Jesus' Name. My former friends and I used to play a game to see who could out-do who in terms of blaspheming Him. I feel really sick thinking back to it, actually. I spent years and years stoned, going from man to man, claiming to be an atheist, but becoming increasingly drawn towards the LHP. I became a rune reader and tarot card reader and started practising psi-vampirism.

When I was 21, I took a massive, massive overdose. I wrote a note, lined all the pills up on my window-ledge and started swallowing them one by one. I emptied 3 and a half packets, so I probably took about 70 pills or something. I was taken to the hospital in an ambulance when I was found at 4.30pm, and I was allowed to go home at 2am, because the doctors did a blood test and found there wasn't a single trace of anything in my system. Looking back I know it was a genuine miracle, but at the time - and for years after - I was too out of it to see it that way. I think I put it down to its being "one of those things".

I got a job with an organisation called Victim Support about 5 years ago - it's a *very* secular charity that provides support for victims of crime, and I was hired as manager of the Youth Support for London - and there was a guy there who was a Methodist, and a former policeman. He was really abrasive in some ways, but I was still drawn to his sense of peace, and I found myself going to work early most mornings so I could ask him questions about "his god". I was always very scathing inwardly, but I did know that on one level I really wanted what he had.

I left that job when I was offered a promotion at another Victim Support in a different part of London, and on my first day I met a woman my age called Sue who was the woman who provided a large chunk of the government funding for my job, so we went for lunch, and within half an hour, I found out she was a Christian, also. We used to have lunch together as often as possible, and I would ask her a lot of questions, too and gradually the LHP started losing its appeal somehow. But I still had a drug problem. For the next few months, through my job, I kept meeting Christian after Christian. It was just astonishing, because this is a field that's about as secular as it gets.

I should add that my parents divorced when I was 17, and both parents re-married. My mum and her husband became Christians - they're currently studying to be missionaries for the street kids in Brazil - and I know they were praying for me to be saved, but I actively fought it. I'd known in my spirit that God was calling me for about 3 years prior to my going to Him. But I didn't want it. It's partly what made me play the blasphemy games, I think.

But, anyway, in February 2006, I was at the height of my drug problem. I was smoking about £100 worth of weed a week and was starting to take harder drugs, and one Wednesday, I was on holiday at home lolling about completely stoned, and I sobered up in an instant. Weirdest thing ever. And I haven't taken a drug since. The cravings are still there sometimes, dreadful on occasion, but the addiction was gone in an instant. Another genuine miracle, which I didn't acknowledge.

At the time, I was seeing a guy called Chris, and we broke up on April 6th 2006, and on April 7th, I stopped resisting God and got on my knees and begged Him to be the Lord of my life. That was late on a Friday night, and it was a long weekend, so all the shops were shut until the following Tuesday. I was sooo desperate to get my very first Bible. On the Monday night, I was so incredibly excited about going to a local Christian bookshop and paging through all their Bibles and finding the one that was printed and bound for me. Had never read the Bible, nor heard any of it, even as a child, as Sunday School was spent colouring in.

That night I had a dream I was being attacked by demons. It was just horrific. Have always had dreams where I'm being chased and am running in slow motion, like I can't move my legs. This was no different, and they were chasing me through these streets and I could hear them getting closer, and suddenly I stopped running and got on my knees and started praying. I didn't know where the words were coming from, but it made the demons scream like they were burning. When I woke up, I remembered some of the prayer and I wrote it down and called my mum and told her about the dream and when I read her what I'd been praying, she started crying because it turns out I'd been reciting Psalm 91.

For me that was the final thing that absolutely convinced me once and for all that Jesus was with me. God still teaches me stuff through my dreams, actually.

So that's it. Things have actually been much harder since becoming a Christian and I keep waiting for things to improve a little, but they don't. I'm not even sure whether to press "Submit Reply", because I don't want this anymore. I'm tired of the crap that comes with being a Christian. I know that makes me a bad person. I love Jesus, but I don't like Christianity. My latest offense is coming up with something unBiblical. Proof of my crapness, as if it was needed. So I'm left thinking there's little point.

Anna.... Please don't say such things my dear friend. Your NOT a bad person! And you didn't come up with anything unbiblical in my opinion. But not everyone will agree on everything. You know I love you...and sooo many others here do as well. We need your wisdom and unique perspective here now more than ever! I need you here...without you in this forum it's awfully lonely.

You know it IS harder to be a Christian than not in this world. As you know, nobody said it would be easy...just that you don't walk alone. We are NEVER alone when we have Christ in our hearts.

You have an awesome testimony...and let me tell you something...satan doesn't like it. He's torked that you are serving Jesus now instead of him. And as the Bible says...he's walking around looking for those he can devour. He wants to see you discouraged and worn down. We are in a battle for our souls Anna...fight! I love you...Dawn

 

[Lisa0315]

GM,
If other people are able to hurt you, it is because you have a kind heart. I pray that the Lord surrounds you with perfect love and peace. I want you here. I need you here, and mostly because you keep me on my toes. C'mon, girl. We are depending on you.

Lisa

 

[FriendsFellowship]

I'm sorry Munchie.

I didn't mean to hurt you.

Please Munchie, keep your eyes on Jesus, He's the only one that will never let you down!

 

[Criada]

Anna - it is awesome to read what God has done for you already.
But that's only the beginning, sis, truly.
He has plans for the rest of your life that you wouldn't believe if you heard them now.
And He loves you so very, very much.
You are NOT a bad person!! You have been made totally righteous.
God sees the perfection of Jesus when He looks at you.
I don't think that you said anything in any way unbiblical - and I don't think Marty meant it that way.
You are under attack - and that is because satan is scared! Cos you are doing so very much good here!
We love you, sis, and are praying for you!

 

[Tangeloper]

You know it IS harder to be a Christian than not in this world. As you know, nobody said it would be easy...just that you don't walk alone. We are NEVER alone when we have Christ in our hearts.

You have an awesome testimony...and let me tell you something...satan doesn't like it. He's torked that you are serving Jesus now instead of him. And as the Bible says...he's walking around looking for those he can devour. He wants to see you discouraged and worn down. We are in a battle for our souls Anna...fight! I love you...Dawn

Anna, please don't despair so. I've had many times in my life that I've felt as you are feeling now. You are NOT a bad person!!! You are a kind gentle person with a loving heart and LadyTrekki is right -- THAT really get's Satan's "goat" (no pun intended).

Seriously though -- the closer we step to the Lord, the more the Devil and his minions try to taunt us and make us doubt ourselves, and the Lord. Don't let the Devil win!

I join with all the people here who have posted to you in saying that I LOVE YOU! And we care deeply about you. We don't want you to leave!

I will pray for you tonight that God will ease your suffering and that you will see yourself as He does: As one who is truly worthy of love!

Hang in there sweetie!
We're all praying for you and sending our love your way.

PS -- I hadn't seen or read your message when I posted my testimony earlier... Otherwise, I would've responded to you right away!!! I posted from the OP and "ran" so to speak...