your standpoint on smacking children?

[lenamuo]

Hi all,
I will like to ask of what you think about smacking children? Do you think it is the right thing to do? Where is a line that draws between discipline and abuse?

Personally, I can see why smacking children is necessary at times, but I don't think it is the best form of discipline for a child because at times it can go overboard and it may have an adverse effect on the child (that is may do more harm than good). I don't have any children (I am too young for it) but if I do have children in the future, I don't think I will able to hit my children, because after doing so, I am pretty sure my I will have a heartache seeing that I hurt my child.

 

[football5680]

Whoever spares the rod hates their children, but the one who loves their children is careful to discipline them. (Proverbs 13:24)

 

[If Not For Grace]

I am pretty sure my I will have a heartache seeing that I hurt my child.

Penitentiaries are full children from parents with similiar views. Few one/two yr olds are capable of understanding logic and ALL children need to understand consequences. You need to redefine your idea of "hurt" and "help" before you become a parent.


We had less crime, and a society of much better moral fiber when we had more discipline in the homes. All children test their boundaries, and "hot", "no" and other things we MUST teach our children. And you don't spank them someone else will at some point..Whether it's a stranger like me..or a corrections officer-ask ANY inmate on the road to recovery IF they see spanking as beneficial.


Abuse starts with VERBAL and escaltes to physical and should never be tolerated. Abuse is used to instill a unquestionable dominance and Fear. Spanking is more of a follow up or consequence for a violation of a boundary for young children. It expresses disapproval not POWER.

 

[Purge187]

Not the biggest fan of his, but Dr. Drew said it well. A spanking is discipline; hitting a child with an object like a belt is abuse. Reason #756 I don't want kids.

 

[Aibrean]

I've been in too much trouble on here for this topic...so I'll leave it at this:

I believe what the Bible says about children's discipline.

 

[Hetta]

Whoever spares the rod hates their children, but the one who loves their children is careful to discipline them. (Proverbs 13:24)

A "rod" does not have to be an object of violence. A "rod" can be any form of punishment which effectively disciplines and corrects a child.

I have raised several children (both genders) to adulthood with NO spanking. Zero. They are well behaved, polite, good citizens with good degrees and good careers. NOBODY has to hit their child to get this effect. Parents just have to think outside the lazy box of "the Bible says to use the rod" and think a little more about what the word "rod" may mean, because the Bible is not always intended to be taken literally, and the word "rod" in my experience and opinion is meant to be metaphorical - unless everyone is hitting their children with real rods, which would of course be abuse.

 

[Maryland Girl]

I think physical discipline is necessary, but it should be done in moderation. I think it becomes abuse if you're spanking them too long, using something that causes too much pain, or causing bruises/scarring. The idea is to discipline, not injure or cause them to have psychological problems. In a perfect world, no parent would ever have to use physical discipline, but we don't live in that world. And some children need more than "time out" or being grounded. When that works, great, but when they keep misbehaving, and the other methods aren't working, you have to do what you have to do. Just don't go overboard.

 

[Sketcher]

It depends on the manner of the physical contact.

 

[DeanMin]

How does the "time out" generation compare to the "spare the rod" generation? It is pretty obvious to me what has produced the best results.

 

[eyeSalveRich]

I think the controversial book from no greater joy ministries “To Train Up a Child”, is the best thing I have ever read on the subject.

The point is that it is not about discipline. It is about training. A well trained child will seldom if ever need discipline.

Proverbs 22:15 Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child; The rod of discipline will remove it far from him.

The problem is that there are scarcely any families that are good at training. I say families because it takes consistency between parents. The worse the training, the more likely discipline is needed. And yes, “the rod” may be necessary, in fact some consider an implement the preferred method so any negative focus from a child can be directed toward the implement rather than the parent.

Think about it this way. How many children do you know, that are not severely mentally disabled, that repeatedly put their hand on a red hot stove, week after week? It doesn’t happen, because after one instance they know without any doubt exactly what is going to happen if they do that again. Of course I am not advocating harming children. I am advocating consistency.

When should training start? An infant crying or fussing is NOT a cause for training. Once a child gets old enough that it makes conscious actions with its arms and legs to accomplish specific premeditated purposes, it is performing action. The longer undesirable actions are allowed to continue without training, the worse behavior gets.

 

[TheOtherHockeyMom]

If hitting, spanking, smacking, etc. are such good training tools, then why can't we use them on adults? Why is it only considered acceptable to hit small, defenseless folks, not subordinates at work, elderly dependent parents, college students in your class, spouses, and the like?

 

[travelah]

A "rod" does not have to be an object of violence. A "rod" can be any form of punishment which effectively disciplines and corrects a child.

I have raised several children (both genders) to adulthood with NO spanking. Zero. They are well behaved, polite, good citizens with good degrees and good careers. NOBODY has to hit their child to get this effect. Parents just have to think outside the lazy box of "the Bible says to use the rod" and think a little more about what the word "rod" may mean, because the Bible is not always intended to be taken literally, and the word "rod" in my experience and opinion is meant to be metaphorical - unless everyone is hitting their children with real rods, which would of course be abuse.

The etymology of the Hebrew word Shebet taken together with other similar uses does not seem to support a metaphorical interpretation. Since it literally means a branch, staff or a switch (e.g. "rod"), I do not see how you arrive at your suggestion especially in light of other passages such as Pr 23:13.

All that said, each parent must make their own minds up on this matter but I would certainly not view taking a switch to a disobedient child to be child abuse as you suggested.

 

[travelah]

If hitting, spanking, smacking, etc. are such good training tools, then why can't we use them on adults? Why is it only considered acceptable to hit small, defenseless folks, not subordinates at work, elderly dependent parents, college students in your class, spouses, and the like?

Prisons used to do that before liberalism converted the purposes of prisons. We now have prisons where the prisoners rule the social roost.

 

[eyeSalveRich]

If hitting, spanking, smacking, etc. are such good training tools, then why can't we use them on adults? Why is it only considered acceptable to hit small, defenseless folks, not subordinates at work, elderly dependent parents, college students in your class, spouses, and the like?

That is the whole point. If parents are doing their job, by the time children are adults they have already learned good behavior. At that point training is not supposed to be an issue. Maintaining a safe and orderly society is supposed to be the issue then. Yet because of sin in parents training, and with ungodly people etc. we have laws for adults that cannot behave in safe, orderly ways. Our prison/justice system does not do a very good job. Recidivism is very high. God commanded flogging.

Deut 25:1-3 “If there is a dispute between men and they come into court and the judges decide between them, acquitting the innocent and condemning the guilty, 2 then if the guilty man deserves to be beaten, the judge shall cause him to lie down and be beaten in his presence with a number of stripes in proportion to his offense. 3 Forty stripes may be given him, but not more, lest, if one should go on to beat him with more stripes than these, your brother be degraded in your sight.
​

 

[TheOtherHockeyMom]

So we should be hitting adults too?

 

[eyeSalveRich]

So we should be hitting adults too?

Are you questioning God's command, or questioning whether I believe God's laws apply today. I have a thread on God's law where I answer the latter.

Deut 17:12 The man who acts presumptuously by not obeying the priest who stands to minister there before the Lord your God, or the judge, that man shall die. So you shall purge the evil from Israel. 13 And all the people shall hear and fear and not act presumptuously again.

God commanded societal discipline that goes all the way up to capital punishment, i.e. death.

Our current system is clearly a failure. It amazes me that when faced with the obvious failures of this system that people still resist what God commanded.

 

[eyeSalveRich]

So we should be hitting adults too?

Just to clarify, the question as worded leaves open a vigilante sort of interpretation. That would be very unbiblical. Justice among adults is to be administered through the church for Christians when possible, and through the courts otherwise. Or when all else fails, through war, as our founding father's did.

 

[Hetta]

How does the "time out" generation compare to the "spare the rod" generation? It is pretty obvious to me what has produced the best results.

So did the "rod" generation beat their kids with rods?

I'm 51, I was not spanked. I have never been in any trouble in my life. I am raising 5 children - none of them have given a single moment's trouble to anyone, and two are now adults, and already living in in the adult world with careers.

So, what was that again?

 

[Hetta]

If hitting, spanking, smacking, etc. are such good training tools, then why can't we use them on adults? Why is it only considered acceptable to hit small, defenseless folks, not subordinates at work, elderly dependent parents, college students in your class, spouses, and the like?

Yes, bring back the rod for everyone! Good idea. You step out of line - someone bigger than you hits you ... because that's God's way. Not.

 

[eyeSalveRich]

So for those of you opposed to God's laws on flogging as a sentence from a court, I am curious what your ideal punishment for simple assault is. God's laws established that the punishment should fit the crime. What is your solution?

Here are some videos of assaults. Warning violence and bad language. Some are simple some not so simple. Maybe you haven't heard of the knockout game. The first link provides more info on it as well as links to other stories and videos.
The general idea is you just try to knock some innocent bystander unconscious. You don't rob them or anything else, you just beat them up without provocation.

What is your punishment? Most of them are penniless, so fining them accomplishes nothing. You could put them in jail, where they fellowship with more criminals and harden their criminal life, all the while taking tax payer dollars which taxpayers could be using to feed their children. So where the victim was not robbed, now everyone's tax dollars are robbed.
How about we flog them and keep our tax dollars.
Articles: The Knockout Game: Racial Violence and the Conspicuous Silence of the Media
We've got the assault video that was pulled by YouTube - Minneapolis - News - The Blotter
Video: Caught On Surveillance: Man Assaults & Abducts Woman In NY!
Congressman Assaults Student on Washington Sidewalk - YouTube
Unbelievable road rage attack - YouTube
Assault on Briscoe Lane - YouTube