Time Bandits
Evil: God isn't interested in technology. He cares nothing for the microchip or the silicon revolution. Look how he spends his time: forty-three species of parrots! Nipples for men!
Robert: Slugs.
Evil: Slugs! HE created slugs! They can't hear. They can't speak. They can't operate machinery. Are we not in the hands of a lunatic?
The Breakfast Club
Claire: You know why guys like you knock everything?
Bender: Oh, this should be stunning.
Claire: It's because you're afraid.
Bender: Oh God, you richies are so smart, that's exactly why I'm not heavy into activities.
Claire: You're a big coward.
Brian: I'm in the math club.
Claire: See, you're afraid that they won't take you, you don't belong, so you have to just dump all over it.
Bender: Well, it wouldn't have anything to do with you activities people being a--holes, now would it?
Claire: Well, you wouldn't know, you don't even know any of us.
Bender: Well, I don't know any lepers, but I'm not going to run out and join one of their f--king clubs.
Andrew: Hey! Let's watch the mouth, huh?
Brian: I'm in the physics club too.
Bender: Excuse me a sec. What are you babbling about?
Brian: Well, what I had said was I'm in the math club, the Latin club, and the physics club.
Bender: Hey, Cherry! Do you belong to the physics club?
Claire: That's an academic club.
Bender: So?
Claire: So academic clubs aren't the same as other kinds of clubs.
Bender: Ah...but to dorks like him, they are. What do you guys do in your club?
Brian: In physics we...uh...we talk about physics, properties of physics.
Bender: So it's sorta social. Demented and sad, but social. Right?
Bender: Hey, how come Andrew gets to get up? If he gets up, we'll all get up..IT'LL BE ANARCHY!
(Bender gives his impression of his parents)
Bender: "Stupid, worthless, no good, godd--n, freeloading son of a b---h. Retarded, big mouth, know-it-all, a--hole jerk."
"You forgot ugly, lazy and disrespectful..."
"Shut up, b---h! Go fix me a turkey pot pie."
No dad, what about you?
"F--k you."
No dad, what about you?
"F--k you."
Dad, what about you?
"F--k you!"
(makes punching motion to his face)
Bender: You're right. It's wrong to destroy literature. It's such fun to read. And...
(examines book title)
Moe-Lay really pumps my n--s.
Claire: Moliere. (smiles)
Big Trouble in Little China
Jack Burton: All I know is that this Lo Pan character comes out of thin air in the middle of a godd--n alley while his buddies are flying around on wires cutting everybody to shreds while he just STANDS there waiting for me to drive my truck straight through him with LIGHT coming out of his mouth!
Wang Chi: Here's to the Army and Navy and the battles they have won. Here's to America's colors, the colors that never run.
Jack Burton: May the wings of liberty never lose a feather.
Jack Burton: Just remember what ol' Jack Burton does when the earth quakes, the poison arrows fall from the sky, and the pillars of Heaven shake. Yeah, Jack Burton just looks that big old storm right in the eye and says, "Give me your best shot. I can take it."
Lo Pan: I love you, Miao Yin, and I need you.
Miao Yin: No, I don't belong to you!
Lo Pan: Here, take her, take the b---h!
Jack Burton: What is that stuff?
Egg Shen: It is black blood of earth.
Jack Burton: You mean oil?
Egg Shen: No, I mean black blood of earth.
Lo Pan: Shut up, Mr. Burton. You were not put on this Earth to get it!
The Outlaw Josey Wales
Lone Watie: I wore a frock coat to Washington before the War.
We wore them because we belonged to the five civilized tribes.
We dressed ourselves up like Abraham Lincoln.
We got to see the Secretary of the Interior.
He said, "Boy, you boys sure look civilized."
He congratulated us and he gave us medals for looking so civilized.
We told him about how our tribal lands had been stolen and how our humans were dying.
When we finished he shook our hands and said "Endeavor to preservere!!"
They stood us in a line John Jumper, Chili McIntosh, Buffalo Hump, Jim Buckmark, and me, I am Lone Waite.
The newspapers took our picture and said, "Indians vow to endeavor to preservere."
We thought about for a long time, "endeavor to preservere", and when we had thought about it long enough, we declared war on the Union.
Fletcher: Damn you, Senator. You promised me those men would be decently treated.
Senator Lane: They were decently treated. They were decently fed and then they were decently shot. Those men are common outlaws, nothing more.
Robocop
Clarence Boddicker: Oooh, guns, guns, guns!
Sgt. Reed: Your client's a scumbag, YOU'RE a scumbag, and scumbags see the judge on Monday morning. Now get out of my office, and take laughing boy with you!
Creep: H-he's gonna kill her! He's gonna kill her!
Robocop: They'll fix you...they fix everything.
Bixby Snyder: I'd buy that for a dollar!
The Old Man: Dick, you're fired!
(Directive 4 is disappears)
Robocop: Thank you.
Miller: First, don't f--k with me. I'm a desperate man! And second, I want some fresh coffee!
Commercial boy: Pakistan is threatening my border!
Commercial dad: That's it, buster! No more military aid.
(a simulated nuclear explosion ensues)
Commercial voice-over: Nukem! Get them before they get you. Another quality home game from Butler Brothers.
Kevin Rosenberg (Unemployed Person): It's a free society. Except there ain't nothing free, because there's no guarantees. You know? You're on your own. That's the law of the jungle. Ho, ho.
Joe Cox: Good night, sweet prince!
