Wrestling with Myself: An Unwinnable Battle.

aiki

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Most Christians I talk to about living a holy life have the same basic idea about doing so: "I work my hardest to be a holy person," they say, "I struggle fiercely against sin, and when I can't give any more to the effort of being holy, then I ask God to add His own power to help me carry on. God helps those who help themselves, you know." This is the common equation of holy living. My effort to the max plus a bit, here and there, from God to help me where I'm weak.

Is this what the Bible says, though? In answering this question, it's helpful, I think, to look at how the Christian life begins. How we began as Christian believers provides the basic pattern for all Christian living that follows; our first step with God establishes the basic dynamics of all the steps that proceed from it.

1.) We were "without strength" as unrepentant sinners standing under the wrath of God. (Romans 5:6-8); as spiritually unregenerate people, we were blinded by the god of this world (2 Corinthians 4:3-4), unable to see the truth of the Gospel on our own; as people lost in darkness, we were alienated from God and hostile toward Him (Colossians 1:21).

We could do nothing to contribute to the work only God could do in making us able to understand and receive the saving truth of the Gospel. God must initiate because we are, without His intervention, unable to move toward Him. God draws us (John 6:44), convicts us of sin (John 16:8-11), gives us the capacity to repent (2 Timothy 2:25), and illuminates our minds to His truth (John 16:13-14), the truth of the Gospel, when we were "dead in trespasses and sins" (Ephesians 2:1-3). This is not to say God forces us to trust in Christ, however. Having done all this for us, we must still choose to humbly receive the atoning work and life of Christ.

2.) Our "work" as a lost person brought to the saving, regenerating truth of salvation is to receive it by faith. (John 3:16; Ephesians 2:8-9; Acts 15:8-10; Romans 3:28; Romans 10:9-10, etc.) We no more contribute to our salvation by doing so than the person suffering from a burst appendix, trusting to the skill of the surgeon to remove it, has contributed to its removal. However willing the person with the burst appendix is to have the surgeon remove their appendix, and no matter how confident they are that the surgeon will do so successfully, they can only lay upon the operating table and be worked upon by the surgeon. Only the surgeon can save them from their ruptured appendix; they can do nothing but receive his saving work.

3.) So long as a person remains, by faith, in the truth of Scripture, convinced of its reality, focused constantly upon it, they will be more and more conformed to it. This is just the way God has made us. We are inevitably, to one degree or another, conformed to the things upon which we orient ourselves. And so, as we look unto Jesus (Hebrews 12:2-3), meditate upon God's word (Psalms 1), spend time daily considering His truth (Philippians 4:8), we become conformed to it. The Spirit works in tandem with our "looking unto Jesus," giving us a desire to do so, strengthening the effect of focusing upon the Lord and his truth, shaping in us the character of Christ. (2 Corinthians 3:18)

4.) As the believer "lives by faith" (2 Corinthians 5:7), receiving and remaining in the truth of their salvation and new life in Christ, they naturally and progressively reflect this in how they live. Doing so is not a torturous, agonizing, wrenching of one's life away from the former, selfish, sinful manner of living in which one engaged. This is how Christian living done in the flesh, by human power, always is. In contrast, God's transformation, accomplished by His power, is so subtle and profound one hardly realizes it is happening. Often only in looking back does one realize they have been changed by the Spirit.

This is pictured best, perhaps, in John 15:5 where Jesus spoke of branches in the Vine producing fruit. Does a branch produce itself? No. It is an extension of the Vine. Does the branch enlarge and produce fruit by straining mightily to do so? No. It simply receives the life-giving sap and as a result inevitably grows and brings forth fruit. It is not the branch that grows itself and the fruit it bears but the life, the "sap," of the Vine. And the development the Vine produces in the branch is natural, subtle, progressive, impossible to observe directly. One could sit for days at a time watching a branch of an apple tree for growth and never succeed, though it is growing constantly. So, too, the Christian in whom the "sap of the Vine" is flowing.

I want to emphasize here that the inherent human weakness we have prior to salvation does not alter when we become born-again children of God. In-and-of ourselves, we continue to be profoundly weak creatures, unable to act in accordance with God's will and way except in a short-lived, superficial, faltering manner.

It is God in us, it is in the Person of the Holy Spirit, that the believer has the capacity to live fully in God's way. The Spirit gives to us both the ability and the desire to do God's will; we can only ever work out what God has first worked into us by the Holy Spirit. (Philippians 2:12-13) It is by the Spirit we put to death the deeds of the body (Romans 8:13); it is by the Spirit we are "strengthened in the inner man" (Ephesians 3:16); it is by the Spirit we understand God's truth (1 Corinthians 2:10-13); it is by the Spirit's transforming work that the fruit of the Spirit manifests in our living (Ephesians 5:9; Galatians 5:22-23).

Just as God had to make us capable of choosing to receive Christ, He must also make us capable of living in obedience to His will and way. Our "job" in living holy lives is, then, threefold:

1.) Receive.
2.) Remain.
3.) Reflect.

Not the approach of many Christians to holy living:

1.) Possess. (By an active pursuit, and taking, of salvation.)
2.) Preserve. (By strenuous effort to master oneself.)
3.) Produce. (By more strenuous effort to be righteous and sanctified.)

Any time I hear a Christian say, "I'm trying to walk with God," or "I'm struggling to live a holy life," or "I am wrestling with myself to live God's way," I understand that they have not been properly discipled and so misunderstand all I've just laid out from God's word. A corollary to this, of course, is that they are living a very frustrating and failure-filled life as a disciple of Christ. This is the living of one doing in order to be rather than being in order to do. As Jesus said, "Without me you can do nothing." Why do so many believers not believe him, working to make themselves a branch in the Vine, instead, straining to produce fruit by their own labor?

Perhaps the problem is that being filled with the "sap" of the Vine, with the life-giving Holy Spirit, requires one key thing: submission. Many want God's stuff, but they don't really want Him. They want help from God but they don't want to be under His complete control. But the only way the life of the Spirit fully manifests in us is as we live in moment-by-moment surrender to the will and way of the Spirit.

Romans 6:13
13 and do not go on presenting the members of your body to sin as instruments of unrighteousness; but present yourselves to God as those alive from the dead, and your members as instruments of righteousness to God.

Romans 6:22
22 But now having been freed from sin and enslaved to God, you derive your benefit, resulting in sanctification, and the outcome, eternal life.

Romans 8:14
14 For all who are being led by the Spirit of God, these are sons of God.

Romans 12:1
1 Therefore I urge you, brethren, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies a living and holy sacrifice, acceptable to God, which is your spiritual service of worship.

James 4:7-10
7 Submit therefore to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you.
8 Draw near to God and He will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners; and purify your hearts, you double-minded.
9 Be miserable and mourn and weep; let your laughter be turned into mourning and your joy to gloom.
10 Humble yourselves in the presence of the Lord, and He will exalt you.

1 Peter 5:6
6 Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you at the proper time,

Micah 6:8
8 He has told you, O man, what is good; And what does the LORD require of you But to do justice, to love kindness, And to walk humbly with your God?
 
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splish- splash

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The trick is for one, to stay ontop of their prayer life daily and to meditate on the word. Waking up one morning and just deciding that, i am leaving my sinful lifestyle, after so many years of satisfying the lusts of the flesh, will indeed be a huge challenge, to overcome.

Its like throwing punches against a gigantic fortified wall. I doubt if anyone would ever go far like that. So instead of trying to bring down a massive wall on my own, i'll trust in The Lord to show up and show off, in my life.


Matthew 11: 28-30
Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.
 
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aiki

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The trick is for one, to stay ontop of their prayer life daily and to meditate on the word. Waking up one morning and just deciding that, i am leaving my sinful lifestyle, after so many years of satisfying the lusts of the flesh, will indeed be a huge challenge, to overcome.

This is the situation for every person made new in Christ. All those who have been born-again come from the condition the apostle Paul described in Ephesians 2:1-3 and Colossians 1:21. The challenge to leave such a life for the holy, Christ-centered life of a Christian is indeed "huge"; in fact, it is impossible - in-and-of ourselves. If God does not change us, if he does not transform us, we cannot be changed and transformed. No amount of wrestling with myself, no amount of forcing myself to do the right thing, can accomplish what God can accomplish by the power of the Spirit in us. I can only push down my sinful desires; God can change them entirely; I can only struggle with, and resist, my flesh, fighting against myself all the time; God can transform me so profoundly and powerfully that I don't even realize I'm being changed; when I try to change myself, the effort is exhausting, frustrating and failure-ridden; when God changes me I find myself renewed, stabilized, strengthened and at peace.

Its like throwing punches against a gigantic fortified wall. I doubt if anyone would ever go far like that. So instead of trying to bring down a massive wall on my own, i'll trust in The Lord to show up and show off, in my life.

Amen! Often, though, a Christian has to break his knuckles on that wall - over and over again, sometimes - before he'll "let go and let God."

Matthew 11: 28-30
Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.

A great passage!
 
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biblelesson

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Hello All,
I'm wrestling also. There have been times, many times, when the Spirit of God filled me up to the point that His Power set aside the Old Self. What a blessing. I was able to see two people on different planes that were completely opposite. 1) The Old Man. 2) The New Man. Although I now understand that I have received the earnest of the Spirit, there is a difference when I'm filled with Power of the Spirit. I can actually fill when God imparts His Power by His Spirit. The Power of the Spirit is able to meet challenges in my life, immediately removed my inability to sin, gives me the inner strength to withstand anything, and the Old Man is no longer recognized. They are two completely opposites. I don't have to work at being good or right, because the Power of God's Spirit cuts into the sin and removes it. It's God Himself that does the slicing.

Hebrews 4:12, "For the Word of God is quick, and powerful, and sharper than any two-edges sword, piercing even to the dividing asunder of soul and spirit, and of the joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart. (THIS IS WHAT THE HOLY SPIRIT DOES).

However, being not experienced, and because I have not understood all that I need to understand about the flesh, when something would occur in my life that either upset me, or caused me to become fearful, I became prideful or arrogant, and I would grieve the Holy Spirit and this Power would leave me. That's when the tears would start, and the struggle to get back to that sweet Spirit.

God is showing me that all Power is in HIs Spirit. There is nothing that can stay sinful in us when we are filled with the Power of His Spirit. And situations that disturb us are moved out of our lives, without our doing, but by the Power of God! That is even our enemies are defeated. God is showing me that when our enemies are defeated, they are defeated because God is coming to protect Jesus. When we have the filling up of the Holy Spirit, the heavens fight because they are fighting for Jesus, IN US; and there is no power in the world that can do anything about it. Praise God! Than't our protection! Satan want's to cause confusion because he knows this. So Satan will create situations of fear and worry to get us to doubt. But once the Power of the Holy Spirit is imparted by God into us, Satan has no choice but to leave. He cannot stay, and dare not stay around. That's how it works.

Another issues is when I grieve the Holy Spirit and He leaves, I become confused because the flesh and its lies are so strong, and the flesh don't want to go away. So I find myself in a battle to get back. However there are practices given to me by God I can do, and God will shower me with the filling of HIs Spirit again. Isn't it wonderful that God taught me how to received His Power of His Spirit at those times when I didn't even know what He was doing. I believe He did this for me then because of the type of situation I would be facing now in my life, which will requires only His Power to defeat by His Spirit.

I mess up, and when I mess up and grieve the Holy Spirit, the fight with the flesh becomes hard and confusing. I understand that happens because I'm a regenerated Christian, and the spirit is warring against the flesh and vis versa. Romans 7:19-21.

I want to never grieve the Holy Spirit. I want to always walk in the sweet Spirit of God; it's most beautiful. Not sure what I must do at this point to be more aware of what I'm doing wrong that causes me to grieve the Spirit.
 
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aiki

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Hello All,
I'm wrestling also. There have been times, many times, when the Spirit of God filled me up to the point that His Power set aside the Old Self. What a blessing. I was able to see two people on different planes that were completely opposite. 1) The Old Man. 2) The New Man. Although I now understand that I have received the earnest of the Spirit, there is a difference when I'm filled with Power of the Spirit. I can actually fill when God imparts His Power by His Spirit.

Thanks for your comments! Good stuff.

You know, I feel nothing at all when God goes to work on me, when His Spirit transforms my thinking, desires and actions. It just happens. No strain, no tingling, no lightning bolt of change; just the steady, imperceptible growth of a branch on the Vine (John 15:4-5). I worry about those who want and expect a feeling, a sensation, to be associated with the work of the Spirit within. It's dangerous to sensualize one's walk with God. The physical senses we have to navigate physical reality must be largely set aside in the spiritual realm. Our physical senses are of the flesh; God is Spirit and must be worshiped in spirit (and in truth - John 4:24). When Christians mix the two together, trying to access God as they do the material reality around them, they diminish God and run the great risk of needing sensations of God in order to walk with Him. As well, the flesh is fundamentally at war with the Spirit and trying to mix the two must inevitably cause confusion and corruption of spiritual living (Galatians 5:17; Galatians 6:7-8; Romans 7:18). We walk by faith, however, not by sight (which is a physical sense). (2 Corinthians 5:7) So, be careful not to orient upon feeling the filling of the Holy Spirit. You can be filled with Him and feeling nothing at all. It is the change, the development of the Fruit of the Spirit, that is the important thing.

The Power of the Spirit is able to meet challenges in my life, immediately removed my inability to sin, gives me the inner strength to withstand anything, and the Old Man is no longer recognized. They are two completely opposites. I don't have to work at being good or right, because the Power of God's Spirit cuts into the sin and removes it. It's God Himself that does the slicing.

Amen!

However, being not experienced, and because I have not understood all that I need to understand about the flesh, when something would occur in my life that either upset me, or caused me to become fearful, I became prideful or arrogant, and I would grieve the Holy Spirit and this Power would leave me.

The "power" is in the Spirit who "will never leave you nor forsake you." (Hebrews 13:5) Be careful not to think of the Spirit coming and going from you. He doesn't. It is because He is within you that you have "new life in Christ" (Titus 3:5-8; Romans 8:9-11); if he departed from you, the result would be that you became a lost, unregenerate person again.

What happens when we sin is that we choose our own way over the Spirit's. And since God the Holy Spirit will not force you to his will and way, will not compel you to be transformed by him, when you go your own way into sin, He simply stops working until you yield yourself once again to His control. This is why the idea of submitting to God (James 4:7-10; Romans 6:11-18; Romans 8:14), of presenting yourself to Him as a "living sacrifice" (Romans 12:1), of walking humbly with Him all the time (Micah 6:8; 1 Peter 5:6) is such a strong theme throughout the Bible. The Holy Spirit does not leave you, however. He withholds his power, but he remains in you as your spiritual Life Source.

God is showing me that all Power is in HIs Spirit. There is nothing that can stay sinful in us when we are filled with the Power of His Spirit. And situations that disturb us are moved out of our lives, without our doing, but by the Power of God!

Amen!

God is showing me that when our enemies are defeated, they are defeated because God is coming to protect Jesus. When we have the filling up of the Holy Spirit, the heavens fight because they are fighting for Jesus, IN US; and there is no power in the world that can do anything about it. Praise God! Than't our protection!

Hmmm...Friend, Jesus is God. He made and sustains everything (John 1:1-3; Colossians 1:15-16). There is no power anywhere that is greater than he. Consequently, Jesus needs no protecting; he needs no one to fight for him. He is Victor and King already whether this is evident in our lives or not.

But once the Power of the Holy Spirit is imparted by God into us, Satan has no choice but to leave.

The Holy Spirit is God; he is not a force or power given to us from God. The Holy Spirit is a Person who feels, thinks, and acts, just any person does. He is not an amorphous energy, some divine electrical force, God casts about like Zeus from Mount Olympus.


Quick facts about the Holy Spirit:

- Called the Comforter or Helper (“Paraklete” in Greek) – John 14:16; the Spirit of Christ – Romans 8:9; the Spirit of Grace – Hebrews 10:29; Spirit of the Lord – 2 Corinthians 3:17, 18.

- The third Person of the Trinity. (Matthew 28:19; Acts 5:3, 4; 1 Corinthians 2:10, 11)

- He is not a force, or divine spiritual energy, but a distinct personal entity who may grieved (Ephesians 4:30), who teaches and reminds (John 14:26; 1 Corinthians 2:13), who speaks (Acts 8:29; 13:2), who makes decisions (Acts 15:28), who can be lied to (Acts 5:3, 4), who has a mind (Romans 8:26-27), and so on.

Another issues is when I grieve the Holy Spirit and He leaves,

The Holy Spirit does not ever leave a born-again person (see above).

Hebrews 13:5-6
5 Make sure that your character is free from the love of money, being content with what you have; for He Himself has said, "I WILL NEVER DESERT YOU, NOR WILL I EVER FORSAKE YOU,"
6 so that we confidently say, "THE LORD IS MY HELPER, I WILL NOT BE AFRAID. WHAT WILL MAN DO TO ME?"

(All caps are in the Bible software program I use. Sorry. Don't mean to shout.)

John 10:27-29
27 "My sheep hear My voice, and I know them, and they follow Me;
28 and I give eternal life to them, and they will never perish; and no one will snatch them out of My hand.
29 "My Father, who has given them to Me, is greater than all; and no one is able to snatch them out of the Father's hand.


Romans 8:31-39
31 What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who is against us?
32 He who did not spare His own Son, but delivered Him over for us all, how will He not also with Him freely give us all things?
33 Who will bring a charge against God's elect? God is the one who justifies;
34 who is the one who condemns? Christ Jesus is He who died, yes, rather who was raised, who is at the right hand of God, who also intercedes for us.
35 Who will separate us from the love of Christ? Will tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword?
36 Just as it is written, "FOR YOUR SAKE WE ARE BEING PUT TO DEATH ALL DAY LONG; WE WERE CONSIDERED AS SHEEP TO BE SLAUGHTERED."
37 But in all these things we overwhelmingly conquer through Him who loved us.
38 For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers,
39 nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing, will be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.


the flesh and its lies are so strong, and the flesh don't want to go away. So I find myself in a battle to get back.

So, what about Romans 6? Have you considered what you've written here in light of what Paul wrote in this chapter of his letter to the Roman believers? Do you and Paul agree?

I mess up, and when I mess up and grieve the Holy Spirit, the fight with the flesh becomes hard and confusing. I understand that happens because I'm a regenerated Christian, and the spirit is warring against the flesh and vis versa. Romans 7:19-21.

Thank God, the answer to the struggle of Romans 7 is given in Romans 6 and Romans 8! No Christian has to live in the experience of Romans 7.

Romans 6:1-2
1 What shall we say then? Are we to continue in sin so that grace may increase?
2 May it never be! How shall we who died to sin still live in it?


Romans 6:6-7
6 knowing this, that our old self was crucified with Him, in order that our body of sin might be done away with, so that we would no longer be slaves to sin;
7 for he who has died is freed from sin.


Romans 8:13-14
13 for if you are living according to the flesh, you must die; but if by the Spirit you are putting to death the deeds of the body, you will live.
14 For all who are being led by the Spirit of God, these are sons of God.


I want to never grieve the Holy Spirit. I want to always walk in the sweet Spirit of God; it's most beautiful. Not sure what I must do at this point to be more aware of what I'm doing wrong that causes me to grieve the Spirit.

They key to constant, joyful fellowship with God is constant submission to Him. Temptations to selfishness and sin are not challenges to be overcome so much as they are opportunities to submit again to God.

Romans 6:22
22 But now having been freed from sin and enslaved to God, you derive your benefit, resulting in sanctification, and the outcome, eternal life.

1 Peter 5:6
6 Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you at the proper time,

Romans 12:1
1 Therefore I urge you, brethren, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies a living and holy sacrifice, acceptable to God, which is your spiritual service of worship.
 
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biblelesson

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Thank you, thank you, thank you, aiki!

I surely will go over the scriptures you listed, and your comments. They are very helpful. I do want to say that I think I might be using wrong terminology when I say God imparts the Power of the His Spirit in me. What I'm trying to explain is I notice the guidance of the Holy Spirit when I submit to God. I do feel a power guiding me, and I am conscience of the spiritual change in me when it happens, (each time I truly submit to God), and I know it's God and the Holy Spirit, and I feel strength beyond measure. I also notice when "He withholds his power" as you have explained. I do get disturbed when this happens, and I have wondered about this. I'm glad you have expounded on it because being inexperience, I did not know how to define what was happening.

So now, I have to go over your comments and scriptures for better understanding. Thank you!
 
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