Wrestling with God(Come to Me, then, without fear)

[Mark Dohle]

Wrestling with God
(Come to Me, then, without fear)

My voice is always one of comfort and of love, producing peace in the soul—even when My words are cutting, even when they pierce the heart like the surgeon’s scalpel. Trust, then, in My words to you, and close the ear of your imagination and heart to all else. I am He who comforts you, not the one who would assault you, accuse you, condemn you, and cast you out. I am the one who welcomes you with joy. I am the father delighted to see the face of his son and to hear his voice.1 I am the bridegroom who longs for the sweet company of his beloved bride. I am the friend who takes delight in the conversation of the friend whom he has chosen and to whom he has bound himself by a lasting pledge of friendship. Come to Me, then, without fear, for with Me you always find a divine welcome, a loving embrace, consoling conversation, and the courage to continue in the way of life that I have traced out for you.

A Benedictine Monk. In Sinu Jesu: When Heart Speaks to Heart--The Journal of a Priest at Prayer (pp. 251-252). Angelico Press. Kindle Edition.

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When Jesus in the Gospels confronted the religious leaders for their hypocrisy, as well as calling them ‘White Washed Tombs” it was done out of love and compassion. His only desire is to wake us up. It would seem that it did work since many of the religious leaders did in fact become his followers.

The same goes for the expulsion of the money lenders in the Gentile Courtyard of the temple. The words stung, and the tables being turned over caused I have no doubt consternation in those who were dealing with the public. They turned a place of prayer, into a marketplace, a place of greed. Concern for the Gentiles who came there to pray was one of the reasons for his anger I believe, as well for the hearts and souls of those who were selling in a place made sacred by the prayers of those seekers who came to Jerusalem.

The deepest longing of the human heart is to be seen completely, and in spite of that to be loved. To let go of secrets that shame us, or aspects of ourselves that we fear rejection if we alluded to what we endure within our souls. Yet, when we take our relationship with Jesus seriously, we find that what we most desire in our hearts is found in this loving relationship.

The Golden Rule, which is in just about every Holy Book from the different religions in the world, is seldom followed. Or at least I fail most of the time. It is only by taking on the ‘Mind”, and the ‘Heart’ of Christ Jesus that we can over time, perhaps many years of growing into it, that finally wake up to our need for mercy at such a depth that we find it natural extend it to others. While knowing at the same time that it is Jesus who lives in us who allows this to happen.

God is compassionate, kind, gentle, with those who seek, because he sees everything and understands more than we do, what we are dealing with. Our wounds from the past, our DNA, family background, and the culture we are living in, all have a profound effect on our lives, and until we grow into a deep self-awareness, our freedom is curtailed. It is hard for the right hand to know what the left hand is doing.

The Lord wants us to dance before Him naked, much the way David did when dancing before the Ark. More often than not, concern for what we wear before the Lord, which can hide our sins and imperfection from ourselves is what can be worried about. Such worry is a waste of time. The truth is, we are naked before God, yet he still loves us.

Of course, while I am using ‘we’, I am really talking about myself. The above quote from the book “In Sinu Jesu” deeply touched me. At the same time I feel myself fighting it, so the battle continues. Yet in wrestling with God, like with Jacob, God wins, but he will wound us and makes us aware of our pain and limping.

For me it is hard to believe that God is love. Yet over time, I am finding this to be true. My hard-fearful-unloving heart is starting to heal, or perhaps it has been healing for a very long time. When God wrestles with us, He understands each of us, loves each of us. To believe that takes more courage than many people understand. Still working on it. Still at the beginning.-Br.MD