Would you..

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MyNewSelfImage

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Mind having a non-Christian as a child?
I mean, my parents are Christians and they respect my beliefs. My step-dad says technically I am a christian, I share the same beliefs as him. But its not the type of christian like everyone says.. It's different. I still classify myself as a non-believer, 'cause that's basically what I am compared to many christians.
Anyways. Back to the question. Would you allow your child to be a non-christian, or would you try to seek help from the ministry to help them convert back to christianity? Help them yourselves?
Odd question, I know.. Just want some opinions ^__^
 

meh

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I would tell them my beliefs, share those beliefs, answer any questions they have, and pray. At a certain age, though, I wouldn't force them to attend my church if they didn't want to. My parents did not force me and I think it was the right choice- at least for me :)

The most important thing I would do is assure you or my child or any child that they are completely loved no matter what they do or what they believe.
 
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Endure2

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MyNewSelfImage said:
Mind having a non-Christian as a child?
I mean, my parents are Christians and they respect my beliefs. My step-dad says technically I am a christian, I share the same beliefs as him. But its not the type of christian like everyone says.. It's different. I still classify myself as a non-believer, 'cause that's basically what I am compared to many christians.
Anyways. Back to the question. Would you allow your child to be a non-christian, or would you try to seek help from the ministry to help them convert back to christianity? Help them yourselves?
Odd question, I know.. Just want some opinions ^__^
i think most parents wouldnt mind, they love their children enough to not let it change much, except it mat bring an inner sadness... but they still love their children.
such as my mother still loves me, though i recently told her of my not being a christian anymore, and she doesnt mind having me as a child i assure you.

regardless of my belief,whatever my child chose to believe would be acceptable, though id like to talk to him/her about sincerely and converse about it.
but id accept then and support them nontheless.
 
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talitha

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I would not accept this decision to not be a Christian as a final decision. I would long for my child to come into relationship with God, and I would pray until it happened or until I or my child died that it would change. And since I know that it is not God's will for anyone to perish, and I know He has compassion, I know that aside from superceding my child's will, He will do anything to get him or her to turn again.

I do not have children of my own, but I have two non-Christian step-children; both of them are adults. I hope and pray for their souls..... they are lovely people, and I care about them the same amount that I would if they were Christians - which is why this makes me so very sad.......


blessings
tal
 
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heron

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I understand that every person's experience within a church, or with God, is different... even if they sit next to each other.

A kid's experience at church is very different from their parents' -- cutting out sheep, being told to sit, and folding hands to pray -vs.- talking with friends, singing, bringing dishes to pass, and heading up committees.

The parents often find respect and emotional support at church. The kids might find friends, but in a contained environment.

I know this is sidetracking your question, but I think it's often the cause of kids never understanding the faith. Everything they do is externally driven -- getting dressed right, behaving, memorizing verses... where the parents are often internally driven to go.

Years ago my kids were asked to visit another church's VBS. I came early to pick them up, and the music director was stressed out, yelling at the kids to get the songs right because the show for the parents was that night. That's what I mean by externals...driven for appearances...
the parents would have loved seeing their kids up there no matter how they performed.

And I have seen Christian parents who are upset for the wrong reasons, about their teens ignoring church (even admit it without regret) ... but most of us feel the way Talitha does --it would make our hearts ache because we believe what we believe.

We can't control another person's internal choices, and we can't make someone love God, but we certainly will encourage and pray for every aspect of our kids' futures.
 
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talitha

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You have made some very astute observations, heron, as usual - things that most of us don't even really think about.

And the REALLY sad thing is that this "cutting out sheep, being told to sit" stuff - this external stuff - is the be-all, end-all of most children's spiritual upbringing - even the most devout of Christian parents often have the mistaken assumption that it is the church's duty to make sure that a child grows up in the faith. I maintain that it is the PARENTS' responsibility, that we should never have given up the idea of teaching the children when we sit and when we walk, when we lie down and when we get up:

"And these words which I command you today shall be in your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up." (Deuteronomy 6:6-7)
 
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heron

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That's nice of you, Tal.
We went through this church role dilemma when our kids were toddlers-- they didn't like Sunday school. They would beg to sit with us instead, so we had to come up with a way to make church meaningful and appealing to them.


We allowed them to draw during the sermon, and soon found out that they were picking up on what the pastor said, incorporating his words into their drawings.

When one of them got antsy, I would quickly write words I heard in the sermon into a small word search, and they would do the same for me.

It wasn't ideal, and many parents here would disagree that kids should be allowed to draw during church, but since I was taking notes, I was drawing too... just a less pictorial form of response to what I heard.

My point-- that church needs to have meaning and benefit for everyone in the family, not just the parents. And communication with God needs to integrate into our entire lives. If we're upset that years of church didn't turn our kids into Christians, then maybe we should be upset that years of visiting Chuck E Cheese didn't turn them into brightly-dressed rodents...uh.. I mean good video game players.
 
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MyNewSelfImage

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Thanks =)
I guess I know where you guys are coming from, in wanting your child to believe what you do. I think it would be awkward to have a child who turned out to be christian. It would also be kind of awkward to marry a christian.

What about christian teachers? Especially science teachers. My teacher said that when she was in school there was this really strong faithed woman who subsituted in her biology class. She was teaching reproduction and she said something like "and this is how the baby is formed-- but its not really true. god makes babies" Or something like that. That's probably not exactly it. But wouldnt that be kinda odd being a christian teacher having to teach something you dont believe to a bunch of kids who already believe different?
 
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talitha

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It's not that we want our children to believe as we do - it's that we don't want them to be separated from us and from God for ever.

And about 'teachers' - I am a substitute teacher - and when I find myself obligated to teach macro-evolution-type stuff - I always explain that it's only a theory, and that I do not believe it to be true, but it's required for them to learn the stuff anyway. My only other option would be to not teach it at all, as I refuse to teach lies as though they are truths.

blessings
tal
 
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TexasGirl06

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MyNewSelfImage said:
Mind having a non-Christian as a child?
I mean, my parents are Christians and they respect my beliefs. My step-dad says technically I am a christian, I share the same beliefs as him. But its not the type of christian like everyone says.. It's different. I still classify myself as a non-believer, 'cause that's basically what I am compared to many christians.
Anyways. Back to the question. Would you allow your child to be a non-christian, or would you try to seek help from the ministry to help them convert back to christianity? Help them yourselves?
Odd question, I know.. Just want some opinions ^__^

Hi MyNewSelfImage...
It would make me very sad.
Because...if someone is not saved, they will not enter Heaven upon their death.
This is a teaching of Jesus. He said that no one comes to the Father except thru the Son.

So..... the best thing anyone can do is to pray for the one who is not a Christian. Ask God to move in their life.

It's a very serious situation....one that I will never take lightly. We are talking about eternal salvation. Or...eternal hell.
 
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heron

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The difference Tal and TG (and others) are talking about is not the cultural religion we want them to follow. If we believe in the presence of God, then He is as real to us as a newscaster or writer or radio commentator. We don't question that they exist, even if we don't turn on their shows or open their books.

I can imagine that it would be awkward for you to have a Christian child that believes something you've already chosen against...sorted through for yourself. Some time you might want to look at your reasons for not believing, and ask yourself if you'd mind your child taking on other religions...do they have similar pitfalls.

I've had a lot of deaths of those close to me, many of them early and unexpected... it grips me to think of the shortness of life. If life on earth is all there is, then some people don't have a chance. Some suffer for survival their entire lives. I would hope that even if I didn't believe in God, but there was a sliver of a chance that my kids found a long shot for some years (aeons) of unhindered comfort, they would pursue it.

Teachers... yeah, I've been in this situation with teachers asking us to try practices of other religions. Legally, they are not allowed to promote a religion in class or during club activities. They can encourage kids to talk, allow them to bring in music and movies, but they can't promote it themselves.

As for science and evolution, that discussion is not about religion -- it's about science, history, anthropology, archaeology...all of which are continually scrutinized and revamped as we learn more.

I've taken a lot of science courses, and each science teacher was clear that nearly everything we learned was a theory. Science is fluid. And history can be biased, depending on who recorded it...their personal convictions, which country, which ruler approved it...but please don't call me a revisionist. Many people spend their life work digging deeper for truth.

"Babies come from God?" Wow... I think she was chickening out. Even God knows how babies form.

OKay, I've talked enough...blah blah blah.
 
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MikeMcK

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MyNewSelfImage said:
Mind having a non-Christian as a child?
I mean, my parents are Christians and they respect my beliefs. My step-dad says technically I am a christian, I share the same beliefs as him. But its not the type of christian like everyone says.. It's different. I still classify myself as a non-believer, 'cause that's basically what I am compared to many christians.

I'm not sure that you and your dad are clear about what it means to be a Christian.

Either you are a Christian or you aren't, and simply sharing someone's beliefs doesn't make you a Christian.

What do you believe it means to be a Christian?

Anyways. Back to the question. Would you allow your child to be a non-christian, or would you try to seek help from the ministry to help them convert back to christianity? Help them yourselves?
Odd question, I know.. Just want some opinions ^__^

We don't have a choice whether or not someone becomes a Christian. That's between them and the Holy Spirit.
 
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MyNewSelfImage

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I dont really know much about christianity actually. And I dont usually listen to my stepdad either, he's silly and he knows nothing but what his computer tells him. Or what the books say about computers. That's all he's interested in..
I'm not a christian =)
 
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BiancaRose

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I would not force my child to do anything they were not comfortable in; however, I would spread the word with them.

I have a brother who was once a very strong Christian and is now not. I respect the fact that he asks me not to talk to him about God but I do pray for him and ask God to help him to return to him. I still love him and respect him.
 
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heron

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MyNewSelfImage said:
I dont really know much about christianity actually. And I dont usually listen to my stepdad either, he's silly and he knows nothing but what his computer tells him. Or what the books say about computers. That's all he's interested in..
I'm not a christian =)
Well, stick around anyway-- we're glad you're here!
:wave:
 
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