Would you tell your priest he had a hole in his pants?

Status
Not open for further replies.

MariaRegina

Well-Known Member
Jun 26, 2003
53,258
14,159
Visit site
✟115,460.00
Faith
Eastern Orthodox
Marital Status
Married
Within Eastern Catholicism and Orthodoxy, the married man must obtain permission of his wife before he can be ordained to the diaconate and the priesthood. If she withholds her consent, then the man cannot be ordained. She is given lots of information so that she is informed. Some women know that they can handle this life of martyrdom -- and it is a total sacrifice. I've known a few wives who delayed giving permission so that they could go on special retreats for the wives of the clergy and "test the waters."

The wife of St. John of Kronstadt lived a life of celibacy along with her saintly priest-husband, so that they both could give full time service to the Church. If she hadn't been there to fix his meals, do his laundry and help with his correspondence, he could not have done all the things he did. He virtually built a city to help the poor.
 
Upvote 0

nyj

Goodbye, my puppy
Feb 5, 2002
20,966
1,303
USA
Visit site
✟39,228.00
Country
United States
Faith
Catholic
Marital Status
Private
chanter said:
Ideally, in an Orthodox Parish, the priest has good relations with other nearby priests who can fill in whenever an emergency occurs.

This occurs in the Eastern Catholic Churches, too. I remember that the Melkite Priest would serve Divine Liturgy in the Chaldean Catholic Church if that priest had family obligations: childbirth, or deaths in his family. Sometimes there are retired priests who also fill in.

Roman Catholic Priests will go and attend to their sick and dying parents also. They always have a backup priest whom they can call.

Yes, but except in rare circumstances, the parish priest won't be tending to family matters from within the rectory. If the priest answers the door, he's presumed to be available for ministering. People may not realize his wife is barfing her brains out upstairs.

I'm sure it can be done, and I'm sure many priests walk that fine line in exemplary fashion, but I've got to think St. Paul was on the money when he told Timothy that Timothy should serve one master only.
 
Upvote 0

MariaRegina

Well-Known Member
Jun 26, 2003
53,258
14,159
Visit site
✟115,460.00
Faith
Eastern Orthodox
Marital Status
Married
nyj said:
Yes, but except in rare circumstances, the parish priest won't be tending to family matters from within the rectory. If the priest answers the door, he's presumed to be available for ministering. People may not realize his wife is barfing her brains out upstairs.

I'm sure it can be done, and I'm sure many priests walk that fine line in exemplary fashion, but I've got to think St. Paul was on the money when he told Timothy that Timothy should serve one master only.

Dear Dominican and all readers:

When the wife of an Eastern Catholic or Orthodox Priest bears a child. The women organize to plan her meals during the 40 days of confinement. They cook for her and even help with the housework. At the baptism, the parishioners provide beautiful clothes for the newborn to clothe the child for at least 2 years. It's a family. This closeness is beautiful.

People know the weaknesss of being a pastor's wife. So they try to protect her. If we know that she's sick, we will help in any way we can. We are to bear one another's burdens.

That's the beauty of being in an Eastern Catholic or Orthodox Parish. The people really become bonded to one another. There is only one Divine Liturgy, so you really get to know everyone. You cannot get lost, or worse avoid someone you've offended. If you have offended someone, you must apologize and be reconciled with them before receiving Holy Communion. This is very biblical.

Hope this helps,
Elizabeth
 
Upvote 0

nyj

Goodbye, my puppy
Feb 5, 2002
20,966
1,303
USA
Visit site
✟39,228.00
Country
United States
Faith
Catholic
Marital Status
Private
chanter said:
That's the beauty of being in an Eastern Catholic or Orthodox Parish. The people really become bonded to one another. There is only one Divine Liturgy, so you really get to know everyone. You cannot get lost, or worse avoid someone you've offended. If you have offended someone, you must apologize and be reconciled with them before receiving Holy Communion. This is very biblical.

I hope you're not implying that Latin Rite Catholics do not have this sense of community or that their parish life is somehow unbiblical.
 
Upvote 0

Oblio

Creed or Chaos
Jun 24, 2003
22,324
865
64
Georgia - USA
Visit site
✟27,610.00
Faith
Eastern Orthodox
Marital Status
Married
Politics
US-Others
I don't think she is.

There is a more Eastern cultural shift towards communal living within the parish. I have noticed it myself, it is different from what I experienced in Western Protestantism (all that I can compare with).
 
Upvote 0

MariaRegina

Well-Known Member
Jun 26, 2003
53,258
14,159
Visit site
✟115,460.00
Faith
Eastern Orthodox
Marital Status
Married
Dear Oblio in Christ,

re: Eastern cultural shift towards communal living within the parish

Thank you for your comment. This aspect of Eastern communal living was the most difficult adjustment for me, since I became used to being an "independent" Catholic. It was forced on me, and I knew no other existence.

In my Catholic parish, we would just grab a donut and coffee in the hall, chat for a moment with our best friends and that was it until the following Sunday. We had to leave shortly after Mass because the next Mass needed the parking spaces. When we did have some time after daily liturgy, the people would either hurry to work or stay to pray in the adoration chapel.

With the renewal movement, the Catholics are trying to re-establish this sense of community. However, with all those multiple Masses scheduled, it is difficult to know everyone in the parish, and unfortunately, some people, like the singles, feel left out. I did when I was single.

Hope this helps.

Yours in Christ,
Elizabeth
 
Upvote 0

nyj

Goodbye, my puppy
Feb 5, 2002
20,966
1,303
USA
Visit site
✟39,228.00
Country
United States
Faith
Catholic
Marital Status
Private
chanter said:
I know some Catholics who have a real community spirit, because they had a large family.
Yes, some of us Catholics have a real community spirit, as opposed to the Orthodox as a whole, correct? And of course, the only way we get our "community spirit" is because some of us have large families. None of it has anything to do with parish life. You have a pretty broad brush there Chanter, I just wonder why it seemingly paints the Catholic Church in a continuously poor light.
 
Upvote 0

MariaRegina

Well-Known Member
Jun 26, 2003
53,258
14,159
Visit site
✟115,460.00
Faith
Eastern Orthodox
Marital Status
Married
nyj said:
Yes, some of us Catholics have a real community spirit, as opposed to the Orthodox as a whole, correct? And of course, the only way we get our "community spirit" is because some of us have large families. None of it has anything to do with parish life. You have a pretty broad brush there Chanter, I just wonder why it seemingly paints the Catholic Church in a continuously poor light.

Dear Dominican (nyj)

I'm very sorry if you think I implied what you wrote here. I didn't. It's just that the Eastern Catholics and the Orthodox have a different ethos than that found in a lot of US parishes. If you were to go to a Polish parish, or an Italian parish, or a Maronite parish, you would find the same strong feeling of community, almost the same ethos as that found in Eastern Catholic parishes. I sometimes think we have lost the connection with the old country. And, you know, the Orthodox are starting to complain that they are losing the sense of community as they become Americanized.

So this has everything to do with being an American.

When I was living in Berkeley, California, my parish was strongly Italian. We had a blast with pizza and spaghetti parties every First Friday after the evening Mass. One older gentleman could play a mean accordian. We would dance the evening.

In the Greek Church we have "My Big Fat Greek Festival." Catholics have their carnivals and festivals too. It's a cultural thing.

Maybe we can get together and have cultural dances. The Italians, the Germans, the Polish, the Greeks, the Jews, the Maronites -- all getting together and sharing cultural dances and food. I'd like that very much. However, without the setting of the Church, it would just become commercialized.

Boy, have we gotten off topic.

Hope this helps.
Elizabeth
 
Upvote 0
This site stays free and accessible to all because of donations from people like you.
Consider making a one-time or monthly donation. We appreciate your support!
- Dan Doughty and Team Christian Forums

Avila

Boohoo moomoo, cebu
Feb 6, 2002
1,231
5
46
Indiana
Visit site
✟2,479.00
Faith
Catholic
Met - I am in the position of being the wife of a former seminarian. My DH has a call to serve his church, and in our diocese, there is absolutely no way that he can. He can't become a deacon, because the requirements for married deacon are idiotic in our diocese (permanent diaconate was just reinstated after nearly all the deacons died of old age!!!). He can't serve in parishes in any way because the uneducated DREs and their ilk don't want his knowledge to point out where they are wrong. People, even our associate pastor - who was a classmate of his in seminary- look at him like he is a failure because he got married. He is not alone. This happens to many men all over the U.S. - a lot have left the Church because of it, seeking a place to worship where their knowledge will be utilized & appreciated. I'm not saying that all these men would become married priests, but I do know that if it were ever instated in the Roman rite, I'd support my DH in a heartbeat. And, I think that even one more priest from it is worth it. In fact, from reading this thread, I now understand why my DH occasionally talks about switching to another rite - Byzantine or even one that isn't in communion with Rome.
 
Upvote 0

Metanoia02

Owner of the invisible &a mp;
Jun 26, 2003
3,545
290
Visit site
✟20,203.00
Faith
Catholic
Avila said:
Met - I am in the position of being the wife of a former seminarian. My DH has a call to serve his church, and in our diocese, there is absolutely no way that he can. He can't become a deacon, because the requirements for married deacon are idiotic in our diocese (permanent diaconate was just reinstated after nearly all the deacons died of old age!!!). He can't serve in parishes in any way because the uneducated DREs and their ilk don't want his knowledge to point out where they are wrong. People, even our associate pastor - who was a classmate of his in seminary- look at him like he is a failure because he got married. He is not alone. This happens to many men all over the U.S. - a lot have left the Church because of it, seeking a place to worship where their knowledge will be utilized & appreciated. I'm not saying that all these men would become married priests, but I do know that if it were ever instated in the Roman rite, I'd support my DH in a heartbeat. And, I think that even one more priest from it is worth it. In fact, from reading this thread, I now understand why my DH occasionally talks about switching to another rite - Byzantine or even one that isn't in communion with Rome.

Too some extent I can identify with your husband. I am not a former seminarian or anything like that, but I too feel a strong call to serve the Church. I have had this for a long time. I have prayed long and hard and asked God to show me what he wants me to do.

I have served in a number of different capacities in our parish. I have been a member of the RCIA team, lector, eucharistic minisiter. I have also been frustrated by poor quality of catechisis and the liberal slant to many of the programs. I have considered changing parishes to one more my in line with my needs.

But in the process I have met a number of people like myself who have the same concerns. There are a number of great lay apostlates that you can become involved in. Especially ones that focus on education and adherance to the teaching of the Church. If you want to have a real impact on souls and help shape the future of the Church, this is where you need to be.

Also, understand that what you are experiencing is the American Church out of control. Your issues are with your Bishop and Diocese, not with Rome. Think twice about leaving the Mother Church because of people. That would be a tragic mistake.
 
Upvote 0

Avila

Boohoo moomoo, cebu
Feb 6, 2002
1,231
5
46
Indiana
Visit site
✟2,479.00
Faith
Catholic
Metanoia02 said:
Too some extent I can identify with your husband. I am not a former seminarian or anything like that, but I too feel a strong call to serve the Church. I have had this for a long time. I have prayed long and hard and asked God to show me what he wants me to do.

I have served in a number of different capacities in our parish. I have been a member of the RCIA team, lector, eucharistic minisiter. I have also been frustrated by poor quality of catechisis and the liberal slant to many of the programs. I have considered changing parishes to one more my in line with my needs.

The frustration is there for us (particularly him), but it runs even deeper than that. It's an all-out rejection of him and his abilities by the lay leadership of the parishes. Most of the pastors, except a few of the ones he was in seminary with & the more liberal ones, love having him in the parish. They don't understand why he isn't more active. To some, I think they'd love to make him equivalent to a lay pastor!!

But in the process I have met a number of people like myself who have the same concerns. There are a number of great lay apostlates that you can become involved in. Especially ones that focus on education and adherance to the teaching of the Church. If you want to have a real impact on souls and help shape the future of the Church, this is where you need to be.

We have considered some lay apostolates, but the problem is that many of the local groups are like what we experience in parishes. We are still searching, however. Ideally, DH wants to go off and be a part of the Little Portion Hermitage - where they have religious families and singles. I'm not ready for that yet.

Also, understand that what you are experiencing is the American Church out of control. Your issues are with your Bishop and Diocese, not with Rome. Think twice about leaving the Mother Church because of people. That would be a tragic mistake.

Trust me, we know that it is the American church. We have already been down the road of temporarily leaving the church. If you look back at about a year ago, you'll see some posts by Fr. Rob and Bondservant and Polycarp. While it doesn't tell our whole story, it does give a bit of our history. I doubt that we would leave the Church again, unless it were for another rite that is in communion with Rome.
 
Upvote 0
Status
Not open for further replies.