Would you stop going to your church if you don't like the pastor personally?

[dysert]

Every weekend our pastor prays for another Bible-teaching church and its pastor by name. We're not in competition with them; we should be cooperating with them.

 

[ambc]

Maybe.
I always viewed it as cult dependence.
Create cohesiveness through us vs them.
We've got the truth and others are lost.
When you have limited virtues to extol find fault with competition.

That is a very astute analysis. I agree with your insight.

 

[Dave-W]

When you have limited virtues to extol find fault with competition.

Ouch!!!

 

[Baby Cottontail]

My mother and I have been attending our local Methodist church (me off and on) - she got heavily involved with the children's ministry and got to know the pastor well through that. We lost respect for her as a pastor with how she dealt with the children's ministry, showed favoritism, was unfair with treatment of people who helped with the church. However, her sermons are still fine - but my mother is now uncomfortable to attend, stating that even if the sermons are fine, she can't get as much out of the pastor's message anymore.

My mother recently became re-employed and will no longer be able to attend church service because of her working hours. As for me, I'm not sure whether to find another church or just ignore I've seen bad signs of the pastor and still attend this one since I'm used to it and liked the other people in the church.

Thoughts?

You do have some options. Perhaps you could talk to your pastor about your concerns to see what she says. Maybe some of it was a misunderstanding. Maybe she didn't realize how she was treating you. I would at least bring it to her attention. My pastor's been talking about this kind of thing the last couple of weeks -- if you have an issue with someone, talk to them about it, even though it might be hard.

UMC pastors are not in their churches permanently, either. If you are committed to the church, and you have great community there, then pray for your pastor and you can see if you can wait it out. I would definitely talk to the pastor, though.

However, if after talking to the pastor, and she continues to treat people like that, you could share your concerns with staff/pastor parish. Maybe other people have seen similar behavior by her. If enough people complain, maybe staff/pastor parish could ask to have a different pastor.

If none of those options work, then pray about it. Then, look around and see if you can find another church. But leaving the congregation would be my last option, as long as the theology is fine.

I guess I am one to stay committed to something, and I will only leave if the theology is off, or if there is a definite problem with the pastor which cannot be reconciled in any other way.

I think too many people make church about them and how they feel. Church isn't about us; it is about God. However, if you really cannot worship in your current church, I would pray about it, then do the above things, and then, finally, leave.

 

[Reformed2]

Personally I wouldn't leave. I'm a member of my congregation and would not budge, id view it as I belonged there no matter what. Besides, i could never leave my church family!

Fortunately for me I happen to love my pastor ☺

 

[HosannaMostHigh]

I left a church last year because of the leadership, not because I didn't like him because he's, in fact, a very likeable chap but because of things which were happening within the church which I found unacceptable and yet he seemed okay with.

There was a bully operating openly within the church and instead of tackling the issue he recommended instead that we learned how to counter this person's nature instead of getting her out of there - she was the reason many had left over the years. "Jesus came for all not just some" was the response which I agree with but not when someone is actively costing the church its membership. When good people leave and bad people stay, that, in my opinion, is not the correct stance to take.

He also had people operating within the church who were open practitioners of the New Age. I broached this with him to be met with a response akin to "They are simply key holders and not in teaching positions." That's not the point. They are notable members of the church and members of the church council and to hold views contrary to the teachings of the church, in my opinion, is unacceptable whether they are teaching the Word or not.

I don't know about elsewhere in the world however it appears in the UK that it is becoming a case with many churches that it's better to get rear-ends on seats regardless of what's happening within the walls of the church as well as this accepting everything and standing for nothing mentality which is why I feel there are churches closing left right and centre, with Christian membership falling away to nothing. A recent UK survey put the numbers of unchurched Christians at record levels as well as people falling away from the belief entirely.

In relation to the OP, would I stop going to church if I didn't like the pastor personally? I'm not sure I would. If he/she was good at their job, knowledgeable of Scripture and was robust within its teachings and could keep the flock together as one then I feel I would stay. If however, this person has shown themselves to be disreputable then I would definitely go however my example shows that a person can be a good man and a good Christian and still have me heading for the exit by what he is not doing, not tackling. It's a difficult decision to make. You're in my prayers.

 

[JCFantasy23]

UMC pastors are not in their churches permanently, either. If you are committed to the church, and you have great community there, then pray for your pastor and you can see if you can wait it out. I would definitely talk to the pastor, though.

The pastor has been in this church over ten years and it doesn't look like she is leaving anytime soon. I think she's been there longer than that. We did try to speak to her in different ways but no luck. Either way it is not as much of an issue right now - my mother left the church when she resumed working and I need to get back in good habits with church again anyway

 

[Baby Cottontail]

The pastor has been in this church over ten years and it doesn't look like she is leaving anytime soon. I think she's been there longer than that. We did try to speak to her in different ways but no luck. Either way it is not as much of an issue right now - my mother left the church when she resumed working and I need to get back in good habits with church again anyway

Glad that it all worked out for you then