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would you send a friend request to your son's girlfriend on facebook if you have not met her yet?

Discussion in 'Married Couples' started by Yoona86, Aug 13, 2017.

  1. Yoona86

    Yoona86 Newbie

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    me and a friend were talking about this today, she was thinking about sending a friend request to her son's girlfriend ( both of them are in their mid twenties and are currently in med school), even though her son has yet to bring this girl home

    she wasn't sure if there is such a thing as face book etiquette on things like this and i told her
    i am the wrong person to ask as one, mine boys are too young to even think about girlfriends and two i am not a huge facebook user myself

    i thought it was an interesting point though
     
  2. Sarah G

    Sarah G Human bean. Supporter

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    I waited until I met my son's girlfriend (they are early 20s in university) and she added me directly after we met so that was nice and easy.
     
  3. Kindled

    Kindled Romans 12:12

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    That's an interesting question.

    On one hand: She sends the request,first She(his girlfriend) will have to either accept it or decline it. If she accepts it,then what? Does she just want to friend her or does she want to start a conversation with her? I guess the first option would be based on intention.

    On the other hand: She doesn't send the request and just waits till her son brings the woman over to meet the family. I personally would pick option two.

    JMO
     
  4. All4Christ

    All4Christ +The Handmaid of God Laura+ Supporter CF Senior Ambassador

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    I'd prefer waiting until meeting the girlfriend.
     
  5. *LILAC

    *LILAC Well-Known Member

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    No I would not. I would think it creepy and stalkerish if one did before ever meeting in person and getting to know them first.
     
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  6. Hank77

    Hank77 Well-Known Member Supporter

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    I think it could be seen both by her son and his girlfriend as being a nosy and pushy mother-in-law type. She needs to wait to be invited by the girl, not push the girl into a corner.
     
  7. live4Christ2016

    live4Christ2016 Member

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    I don't think I would add her even after I met her. If she sent me a friend request then I would certainly add her, but I would not initiate it. Let her do that.
     
  8. NothingIsImpossible

    NothingIsImpossible Well-Known Member

    +1,934
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    Yeah I'd wait until he introduces her to you. Or it may feel intrusive and cause some instant dislike by the GF. I'd say even when dating maybe not add her until maybe some times has gone on and it seems like they may actually go past just being BF/GF. Or unless maybe she decides to add you. Unless you feel there is something else going on and want to see her profile. Its a complex situation given social media means sometimes you can see how someone really is or is not (if they pretend online).
     
  9. jsimms615

    jsimms615 Well-Known Member Supporter

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    Sounds borderline creepy to friend her when she hasn't even met her yet.
     
  10. DZoolander

    DZoolander Regular Member

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    I'd wait until we'd actually met.
     
  11. DZoolander

    DZoolander Regular Member

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    But I'd set up a fake account in the meantime appearing to be in their age range - so I could see the real scoop on what they post. Not the filtered "parent of my significant other" content.

    Kids seem to all have hundreds of "friends" - so they clearly aren't picky about who they let through.
     
  12. akmom

    akmom Newbie

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    If you plan to meet her, then it feels to me like the proper etiquette would be to wait until you do. If it's a situation where you will not meet her for a very long time, but the relationship is serious, then it would make sense to reach out to her via Facebook. In regards to social media, it appears that most people just do whatever they want and there is little consensus on established etiquette.

    I "met" my sister-in-law by sending her a friend request, because she and my brother-in-law lived in another state and didn't expect to be visiting any time soon. It helped build a rapport before we eventually met.
     
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