Would you consider a married, but living apart?

[bèlla]

Some times he just asks you to be willing to follow His lead, and that doesn't mean you will ever face it or that someone else has the same lead.

Exactly. He wanted me to surrender that to Him. It may never happen. He was stretching my faith in the lesson.

 

[bekkilyn]

Do you believe we must endure negative events to recognize they’re harmful? How do you reconcile the Ten Commandments and other biblical prohibitions? Must we have “skin in the game” to realize the harm their engagement would cause?

Do you need to commit a crime to realize the horrors of being incarcerated? Or are you able to learn from the mistakes others have made?

Wisdom doesn’t require us to traverse the bowels of life to recognize some things are harmful and should not be pursued.

I don’t think anyone is saying that. We are told to work out our salvation with fear and trembling. That doesn’t mean my path to sanctification mirrors the next.

I'm not one of the ones here on this forum stating that since Jesus didn't specifically say "abuse" in a cherry-picked bible verse that ignores the context of his message, that people are obligated to remain in abusive marriage relationships and if they do leave, they can NEVER have any sort of intimate companionship or real marriage at all, and then when you make a comment about it, are informed that it's fine because "Father knows best" or it's "in the bible" or some other thing when they've never actually been in the situation and are perfectly safe themselves and yet are claiming that others must continue to endure physical and emotional violence every single day of their lives.

 

[bèlla]

I'm not one of the ones here on this forum stating that since Jesus didn't specifically say "abuse" in a cherry-picked bible verse that ignores the context of his message, that people are obligated to remain in abusive marriage relationships

Nor have I. I think I have enough posts on this subject that say otherwise. Safety is a must for all involved.

and if they do leave, they can NEVER have any sort of intimate companionship or real marriage at all,

I stick with ‘me’ statements. There are too many things on the back end that impact relationships. A lot of it begins well before they encountered the person. I don’t think you can gauge that at a distance. It requires an intimate connection.

or some other thing when they've never actually been in the situation and are perfectly safe themselves and yet are claiming that others must continue to endure physical and emotional violence every single day of their lives.

I shared a conviction the Lord impressed on my spirit. This was a huge issue for me. A close friend was abused while pregnant and went into labor at six months. I pleaded with her not to date him. I knew his character but she didn’t listen. He hurt her badly and it affected me too. We were very close.

This was something I needed to yield to God. It had nothing to do with you or others who’ve been mistreated. He wanted me to go deeper with Him.

 

[Sam91]

@LaBèlla yes, he has said he'll change.

 

[bèlla]

@LaBèlla yes, he has said he'll change.

I will pray that comes to pass for you both.

 

[Aussie Pete]

What else can be justified under the name of being called to peace? Taping the mouths of screaming toddlers? Slashing the tires of the loud car in the neighborhood? One can't just rationalize behavior that will leave their life more peaceful, merely because Paul said we are called to it.

Divorce and remarriage is only allowable in the case of fornication (Mt 5:32). If one's spouse is abusive, there's nothing stopping them from leaving - though they won't be able to remarry. The bible is clear that marriage is permanent, with only few exceptions. That's kinda why His disciples were so shocked, and said it was better not to marry:

Mt 19:10 His disciples say unto him, If the case of the man be so with his wife, it is not good to marry.​

Legalistic... They're more what you call guidelines, than actual rules? Welcome aboard the Black Pearl, Ms. Turner.

You're right, God doesn't lack compassion. But that hardly means He allows divorce (and remarriage, presumably) in the case of abuse. Civil authority exists for a reason.

Scripture prescribes lashes (De 25:3), and then death (De 17:12) if he/she didn't turn their act around. The death of the abusive spouse, would obviously then free his/her widow(er) to remarry.

Our civil system's failure to abide by God's law, and refusal to execute repeat abusers, does not then justify divorce and remarriage because of the abusers continued existence.



If a verse does not exist on the subject, then we are free to make our own decision. But there are plenty of verses that speak on divorce (and remarriage, presumably), and none of them allow for abusive spouses.

If we're going to start invalidating scripture with our own opinions, why are we even here? We should just call ourselves humanists and be done with it.

This is not opinion. It's a no brainer. Perhaps you'd rather the woman stay long enough to be murdered. She could remarry. Oh. She would be dead. God is way less condemning and judgemental than some of those who call themselves Christians. King David was an adulterous murderer. God not only spared his life but the son of that wrong relationship became the King of Israel. God is not going to punish an innocent party for the wrongdoing of another. That's in the Bible. Look it up.

 

[Sam91]

I will pray that comes to pass for you both.

I could never take that risk. I'm only safe because I'm 100's of miles away and he doesn't have my address.

 

[bèlla]

I could never take that risk. I'm only safe because I'm 100's of miles away and he doesn't have my address.

Very well.

 

[JAM2b]

@LaBèlla yes, he has said he'll change.

Don't trust "change" until you and others have been able to see it consistently for a period time.

 

[bekkilyn]

Don't trust "change" until you and others have been able to see it consistently for a period time.

Yep, and it's a process that takes years, possibly even decades.

https://www.thehotline.org/2013/09/05/is-change-possible-in-an-abuser/

 

[bèlla]

Don't trust "change" until you and others have been able to see it consistently for a period time.

I think you’re reading more into my statement than is present. I asked a question that did not include personal inquiries to ascertain what you’re addressing. That was at @Sam91 to disclose and I left it up to her discretion to do so.

 

[JAM2b]

I think you’re reading more into my statement than is present. I asked a question that did not include personal inquiries to ascertain what you’re addressing. That was at @Sam91 to disclose and I left it up to her discretion to do so.

I quoted her post. The fact that your name is it is just due to her putting it in her post.