I'm curious to get to know some perspectives from married couples. Why are there so many husbands who are workaholics (the ones who happily and willingly engage in more work outside of work hours) even though the wife has clearly voiced her desire for him to spend more time with her and less time on work?
Let's say that she is supportive and encouraging, providing compliments and making him feel like he is appreciated. She is also trying her best to meet his needs and submitting to/ respecting him. Under these circumstances, why would a man still desire to work more than spending time with her even though she has said that time spent together is more important than him bringing home more money or working harder to seem respectable?
My parents, for example, didn't do well in this area as my dad is a big workaholic and finds joy in doing work than spending time with the family. I don't ever remembering him taking mum on a date (just them two) in twenty + years. Mum has always complained about this but it seems to push dad away further (I can kind of understand how it is a vicious cycle). It has got to the point that she says she no longer expects anything so she won't be disappointed or hurt - it kind of makes me sad to see a lack of romance and mere tolerance between them. But the other day, I asked dad out of curiosity whether he would have changed his ways if she had not nagged but rather appealed to him with gentleness and affection. He said no (he believes extra work = more holy because you are working for God). This sentiment seems to be expressed by many older Christian couples around me - there's this couple that works from morning until night (e.g. 7am-9pm) everyday and seem to be quite proud of it but I'm thinking "how do you spend quality time together?" but I guess it works out since both are workaholics...
Anyone who has a workaholic spouse or is one? What's your experience dealing with this in marriage? What ways have you tried and has it ever worked? Has intense prayer over time helped to change the other person? I was wondering if there are red flags to watch out for before marriage too.
Let's say that she is supportive and encouraging, providing compliments and making him feel like he is appreciated. She is also trying her best to meet his needs and submitting to/ respecting him. Under these circumstances, why would a man still desire to work more than spending time with her even though she has said that time spent together is more important than him bringing home more money or working harder to seem respectable?
My parents, for example, didn't do well in this area as my dad is a big workaholic and finds joy in doing work than spending time with the family. I don't ever remembering him taking mum on a date (just them two) in twenty + years. Mum has always complained about this but it seems to push dad away further (I can kind of understand how it is a vicious cycle). It has got to the point that she says she no longer expects anything so she won't be disappointed or hurt - it kind of makes me sad to see a lack of romance and mere tolerance between them. But the other day, I asked dad out of curiosity whether he would have changed his ways if she had not nagged but rather appealed to him with gentleness and affection. He said no (he believes extra work = more holy because you are working for God). This sentiment seems to be expressed by many older Christian couples around me - there's this couple that works from morning until night (e.g. 7am-9pm) everyday and seem to be quite proud of it but I'm thinking "how do you spend quality time together?" but I guess it works out since both are workaholics...
Anyone who has a workaholic spouse or is one? What's your experience dealing with this in marriage? What ways have you tried and has it ever worked? Has intense prayer over time helped to change the other person? I was wondering if there are red flags to watch out for before marriage too.
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